


I am a bb trash

by jingabelle



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, F/M, Futurefic, OT4, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), Polyamory, References to Depression, Smut, Suicide Attempt, Wall Sex, comeback era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2020-03-05 18:50:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 120,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18834616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jingabelle/pseuds/jingabelle
Summary: OC, who used to be a trainee while BB were trainees till the first year after their debut, returns to YG as a marketing executive, but no one knows she used to be a trainee.





	1. Chapter 1

It was a big day, and Minyoung was nervous. She fiddled with the mandarin collar on her blouse as she fidgeted in her seat in the meeting room. She looked over her notes again, both the write-up she’d typed out in her laptop and the sketches she’d prepared in her notebook. It wasn’t much – she hadn’t gotten much information about the concepts for their comeback single when she was abruptly told that she would be handling Big Bang’s comeback from their hiatus for military service – but she’d tried to come up with some generic ideas for their comeback (especially since they were coming back as a four-person group when they’d left as a five-person group). She’d also written down some ideas for how they could announce their comeback and how to market the single and tour.

 

She blew out a breath and adjusted her watch, making sure it covered her wrist tattoo. She knew it was silly, but she’d arrived about 15 minutes early for the meeting, terrified that she would be later than any of the members of Big Bang. For seasoned artists like them to wait for someone like her, who was both younger than them and newer to the company, would be the height of unprofessionalism, and she needed to make a good impression. She wasn’t sure if they’d already been briefed, but she was a replacement for the usual marketing team member who worked with them. The woman they usually worked with was a veteran; she’d been with the company almost as long as they had, and word was that they’d gotten along like a house on fire. Unfortunately (for the band, not for the older woman, and certainly not for Min Young, who had an amazing opportunity to work on such a big project alone) she’d gone on maternity leave a few weeks ago, and wasn’t due to be back until after the comeback.

 

She straightened her pencil and tried to calm her pounding heart when the sound of the door opening caused her heart to jump almost out of her chest. She sprang out of her seat and turned, looking to see who’d come in. It was Youngbae and Daesung, who looked slightly startled. “Oh, sorry… this must be the wrong room,” Youngbae said. “We’re looking for Eunji-shi, would you happen to know what room she’s in?”

 

Min Young cringed. It appeared that nobody had bothered to let them know about the change in plans. “Um… actually, this is the right room. Eun ji-sungbae isn’t around at the moment because on maternity leave, so I’ve been assigned to work on your comeback. Please take good care of me,” she said in a rush, bowing formally.

 

“Oh… all right,” Daesung said, pushing Youngbae lightly to get him to enter the room instead of standing awkwardly by the entrance. “Well, it’s good to meet you…”

 

Min Young realized belatedly that nowhere in her rapid-fire rant had she introduced herself. “Oh, my name is Lee Minyoung, nice to meet you,” she said, bowing again then going to shake their hands.

 

Daesung looked over at Youngbae over Min Young’s slightly bowed head with a grimace. This girl seemed very sweet and earnest, but Jiyong was probably going to blow his top when he realized that they were going to be working with someone who seemed… fairly inexperienced and young. The man could sometimes be a diva, especially when it came to work. They all remembered the epic fit he’d thrown all those years ago when he’d been told he would be debuting as part of a group of five, rather than as part of a hip-hop duo with Youngbae.

 

The two men introduced themselves to be polite (although they were sure she knew who they were) and ushered her back to her seat. She sat down, and started spinning her pencil in her hand out of sheer habit, and to have something to do.

 

“So… I don’t think I’ve seen you around, are you new?” Daesung asked, trying to put Min Young at ease, since she seemed so obviously nervous.

 

“I’ve been here for… a little over a year, I think?” she said, screwing her face up adorably as she thought about it.

 

“Oh, that explains it… how old are you?” Youngbae chimed in.

 

“Twenty-nine… I worked in the States for a few years before I came here,” she explained. “I’m actually American.”

 

“Oh, really? Your Korean is really good,” Youngbae complimented her.

 

She smiled at him. “Thank you, I actually spent a few years living here when I was a teenager, so that’s why,” she said. They were intrigued but she seemed unwilling to provide any more details, so they didn’t push.

 

Min Young cringed inwardly. She hadn’t meant to tell them that, and so early on at that. She was trying to keep the fact that she’d been a trainee before under wraps, since she didn’t want people to accuse her of only getting this job by playing on YG’s sympathies. The only people who knew had been here for over ten years, and they were thankfully senior enough that they didn’t really bother with the day-to-day running of the company, so they weren’t telling the staff she interacted with on a daily basis about the fact that she used to be a trainee.

 

Thankfully, they were saved from any awkward silences by Seunghyun and then Jiyong coming into the office. “Good morning, sorry we’re late…” Seunghyun said, before stopping short as he saw his two team members with an unfamiliar woman. “Um…” he said, as Jiyong, not paying much attention to him, bumped into his back before realizing that his bandmate had stopped.

 

“Oh, um, good morning!” Minyoung sprang up out of her seat, then bowed politely. “I’m Lee Minyoung, I’m the one assigned to handle the marketing campaign for your comeback…” she said.

 

Jiyong cut her off with a scowl. “What? Where’s Eunji-noona?” he asked peevishly.

 

She hesitated, unsure how to react to the hostility apparent in his tone. “Um… she’s on maternity leave, so I was assigned to this project. Please take care of me?” she said timidly, her gaze darting frantically back to Youngbae and Daesung, the more relaxed members of the group, for help.

 

“Hyung, take it easy,” Daesung said, taking pity on her. “It can’t be helped, Eunji-shi isn’t around, so stop making her life difficult. It’s not her fault.”

 

Sulkily Jiyong made his way to the large table, dumping his jacket over the back of the seat he’d chosen violently. Minyoung cringed. Seunghyun followed suit in a calmer manner, shedding his coat and draping it over the back of his seat before sitting down. He interlocked his fingers and crossed one leg over another as he observed her.

 

“You haven’t been here long,” he said, and she started as she looked up from the notes she had to find his intense gaze on her.

 

“Um, no…” she said, slightly discomfited. “I’ve been at YG for a little over a year now.” Then she tried to change the subject. “So, I have some ideas of how to go about your comeback, based on what I’ve heard of your comeback single, but I don’t think it’s finalized yet, right? Do you have any idea of the kind of concepts and image that you want to portray for your comeback?”

 

Youngbae started to answer, but Jiyong stopped him. “I want to hear what you have,” he said imperiously, leaning back in his seat in feigned relaxation.

 

She cleared her throat. “Well… from what I heard of the demo record, the single is about growing up and moving on, so I would hazard a guess that it’s about your military experiences… I don’t want to make any concrete plans until the plans for the music video are confirmed, because I want the visuals of the marketing collaterals to match the MV, but I’m thinking of doing EDMs that look something like this for the social media campaign,” she explained, flipping to the page where she’d made the sketch in her notebook.

 

“Hmm…” Jiyong said, mouth twisted. It was clear he’d wanted to find some error or reveal a lack of preparation so he could pick it apart, but she seemed flawlessly prepared.

 

Seunghyun, sitting next to Jiyong, nudged the younger man and shook his head slightly while Minyoung was distracted reading from her notes. “That’s a good start, and you’ll be updated on the progress of the creative side of the comeback planning so you can plan accordingly, I’m sure,” he said, before standing. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have to get back to the studio.”

 

Minyoung rose automatically, closing her notebook. She’d had more plans to go over, but if they were satisfied with what she had so far, she wasn’t going to complain. “Yes, of course,” she said, quickly picking up her laptop and notebook, walking around the table to shake his hand again and bow. “Thank you for taking the time to meet me,” she said to the group, before shaking the rest of their hands.

 

When they’d left, she breathed out a sigh of relief. It seemed to have gone well, she thought as she went back to her own desk. She set her laptop and notebook back down and stretched her arms over her head, before sitting back down and starting work. She might be the sole manager for Big Bang’s comeback campaign, but she was still working with all the groups she originally had, and had her work cut out for her for the next few months, at least until Eunji-sungbae came back and she could hand the Big Bang portfolio back to her.

 

Better yet, none of them seemed to realize who she was. She was a little disappointed, truth be told, but it was just as well, she supposed. After all, she didn’t have any desire to explain what had happened, why she’d abruptly left Korea and the trainee program, and it would be easier all around if they didn’t dredge up any useless unresolved feelings that she might have rattling around in some corner of her brain. None of them seemed to have changed that much though, and the side of her mouth quirked up slightly in a smile that she couldn’t quite suppress. Of course it was Jiyong-oppa, the diva she remembered from back then, who would give her the most trouble. And just like before, Seunghyun-oppa was the one to rein him in when he thought she wasn’t paying attention. She hadn’t realized until she saw them just how much she’d missed them over the past thirteen years. It was unfair, but they somehow looked even better than ever.

 

Back in the studio, Jiyong was ranting about how unfair it was that they had to work with a wet-behind-the-ears marketing executive instead of Eunji-noona, who was familiar with their styles and preferences.

 

“Come on, she went on maternity leave. You can hardly begrudge her that,” Daesung pointed out reasonably. “And Minyoung seems very competent. She might be new to the company, but she said she’s twenty-nine, so she’s been in the field for a while, probably. Give her a shot. You might be surprised by what she can do.”

 

Jiyong slumped back into the seat. “Whatever,” he said sullenly. Things were not going according to plan for the comeback, and he needed someone to take it out on. It was just her bad luck that Minyoung seemed the most appropriate target for his rage.

 

“Don’t be too hard on her,” Seunghyun agreed. “She seems nice,” he said, a small smile playing across his face for a second. He thought back to the moment where she’d looked up from her laptop and caught his gaze. Was it just him or had she blushed a little? That expression she’d made had been kind of cute, he thought.

 

Jiyong looked up at him and rolled his eyes, very familiar by now with that tone of voice. “You just think she’s pretty and want to flirt with her,” he accused.

 

Seunghyun shrugged. “I never said or did anything that would lead you to think that. You’re just projecting.” That was a lie – Jiyong was right and they both knew it, but they both also knew that Jiyong only got this mean for no reason when he liked a girl. Before he admitted to himself that he was interested and started chasing her in earnest, he was like a boy on the playground pulling on the pigtails of the girl he liked.


	2. Chapter 2

Minyoung frowned at her phone. It was already eight in the evening, and she would have gone home to complete her work in sweatpants, but she’d received a text today from G-Dragon telling her to stay in the office because they would, at some point, come to discuss the marketing campaign.

 

She huffed as she turned back to her desktop. She was knocking some other work out, clearing everything on her plate because she knew that once she started work on Big Bang’s return it would occupy all of her time. She didn’t really like the way they treated her – she was only told about the concepts and creative decisions after they had been made, when usually she had a seat at the table so she could tell them whether something was feasible and likely to be popular – but she supposed working with an established group in Korea was different from working with rookie groups. Back in the States the company she’d worked for was both smaller and had a more egalitarian culture, so she’d been more involved in creative decisions from the beginning, which allowed her to chime in to explain why something should be a certain way from a marketing and publicity perspective, and made her life a lot easier.

 

Big Bang, she knew, had been around the office a lot, either in the studio writing and recording music, or in meetings with the creative team and YG himself. She saw them once in a while, but not often, since the corporate offices were on separate floors from the meeting rooms and studios, and they rarely seemed to eat in the cafeteria.

 

Sighing, she pulled out her headphones and put them on. This particular pair had been a splurge, a gift to herself when she graduated college, and were still going strong almost ten years later. They were noise-cancelling, which was why she kept them in the office – she was bad at working when it was noisy – but since the office was empty, everyone else having left earlier, she figured it wouldn’t hurt if she jammed a little while working. It had been a habit as long as she’d remembered, singing along to whatever songs were currently on her playlist as she worked. She remembered being like this in college, and even before that, when she’d been studying for her GED tests as a trainee. At least it would help the time pass faster and keep her from falling asleep before the band came for their discussion.

 

She made sure to keep her phone next to her laptop so she could see when she was summoned to the meeting room, and lost herself in the music and her work.

 

“All right, that should be good,” Jiyong said, pulling his headphones off his head and giving Daesung a thumbs up so he knew to come out of the recording booth. “What time is it?” he asked the room in general.

 

“Ah, it’s about ten-thirty,” Seunghyun responded, checking his watch. “Do you think Minyoung is still in the office?”

 

Jiyong shrugged. “She should be, I told her to stay tonight since we were going to tell her about the concepts for the single and album.”

 

Youngbae scoffed. “It’s ten-thirty, you really think she stayed this late for that?”

 

“Of course, I told her to,” Jiyong said flippantly. “Let’s go to the meeting room now, I’ll text her to let her know to come.”

 

“All right,” Daesung said doubtfully, following Jiyong. He had a feeling they were wasting their time; no right-minded worker would have waited this long when they didn’t even have a confirmed time for the meeting. Now that Jiyong was G-Dragon, he sometimes forgot that the world didn’t exist to do his bidding.

 

* * *

 

 

(half an hour later)

 

“Yah, where is she? How could she make us wait like this, and without even a response?!” Jiyong fumed.

 

“Calm down, I’ll go see if she’s still in the office,” Seunghyun said, getting up. He was sure she wouldn’t be there, he just didn’t want to listen to Jiyong scream anymore. It seemed that all the bottled up frustration from being in the army was making its way out.

 

“I’ll come with you,” Youngbae immediately volunteered, shooting up. Daesung gave them a look of ultimate betrayal, not wanting to be left with Jiyong alone when he was in a mood like this. As the two men were making their way out the door, Daesung quickly called out, “Wait, I want to come too!” and ran after them.

 

Jiyong, finding himself alone abruptly, frowned. “Don’t leave me alone like that!” he whined, his mood abruptly shifting as he chased them down.

 

They made their way to the offices where the marketing department was. They could hear faintly the sound coming from inside, which seemed like a trainee practicing, although it didn’t make sense for anyone to practice in the corporate offices when there were so many dedicated facilities for them.

 

Jiyong was the first to burst in, and once he opened the door the singing became clearer.

 

“Bounce bounce baby bounce, back to me, you don’t need this –” This was one of her favourite songs, and Minyoung was getting way too into it, belting out the lyrics as she frowned at the EDM on her screen.

 

He paused at the strange familiarity of the scene in front of him, his head cocked. It appeared that his other members had the same feeling of déjà vu, since he heard Youngbae tell Seunghyun that he had an eerie feeling watching Minyoung jam by herself while working.

 

It only lasted a moment, though, and then he was filled with irrational anger at how much fun she seemed to be having by herself while making the band wait for her. Storming up towards her, he stood in front of her desk, although she was so absorbed in her work and her music that she didn’t notice the older man in front of her. (The headphones, it appeared, had truly been a worthy splurge.)

 

He waved in front of her face to get her attention. “Yah, Minyoung-ah!” he snapped in annoyance.

 

Minyoung would swear later that she felt her heart stop when the hand suddenly flashed in front of her eyes. She leapt up from her seat to confront the person in front of her, eyes wide in shock. When she saw it was him, she pulled the headphones off and placed them on her desk. “Oh, good evening, Jiyong-shi,” she said politely. “Are you guys done with your studio session?” She directed the question at the rest of the members too, who were coming up behind him.

 

“Done?! We were done half an hour ago! Why didn’t you come to the meeting room when I texted you?” Jiyong asked furiously.

 

She looked confused. “You texted me? But my phone is right here, and it didn’t notify me.” She picked it up and tried to unlock it. “Oh, the battery is flat. My apologies,” she said, plugging it into the charger on her desk.

 

“It’s all right, these things happen,” Daesung tried to speak over Jiyong, who seemed to be working himself up into a tirade. Unfortunately, his reasonable tone was drowned out by Jiyong starting to scold her about her lack of professionalism. Minyoung gave him a grateful look, then frowned as she looked back at the angry man.

 

“I mean, I don’t really understand this reaction,” she told him. “Like, I’m sorry I made you wait for half an hour because my phone died, but it’s eleven pm now, which means I’ve waited for you guys for five hours past my usual knockoff time. And we can continue standing here while you scream at me, but I’m pretty sure everyone, including you, wants to go home so can we just get this over with please?” She would probably regret speaking to him this way tomorrow, but right now she was tired, her contacts had been in for about fifteen hours and her makeup felt like it was eating into her skin.

 

Jiyong was about to chastise her for the way she was speaking to him, but something about the way her shoulders slumped and she blinked her eyes hard made him feel a bit bad. “Okay,” he relented. “Let’s just go to the meeting room here,” he said, leading them to the meeting room tucked into the corner of the marketing office.

 

“Don’t worry about him,” Seunghyun reassured Minyoung as she picked up her laptop and notebook to follow him. “You have a really nice voice, by the way,” he complimented her.

 

Minyoung flushed. “Thank you,” she said, smiling up at him. He’d told her that all the time back in the day, and even though she knew it didn’t mean anything now since he had no idea they’d known each other before, it still made her heart flutter a little that he was nice to her and spoke to her the way he did then. Call it nostalgia, she supposed.

 

When the meeting was over, it was twelve-thirty in the morning, and Minyoung sighed as she went back to her desk to grab her bag. The trains had stopped running by now, and she would have to walk home. She looked down at the heels her feet were in, and grimaced. This was not going to be a pleasant experience.

 

“Are you going to the carpark too? We can walk together,” Daesung offered.

 

Minyoung turned around. “Thank you, but I don’t drive. I’m walking home tonight,” she said with a small, polite bow.

 

“You what? Where do you live?” Youngbae asked, concerned.

 

When she told him, all of them frowned. “That’s too far to walk at this time of night!” Jiyong protested. “I’m passing by the neighbourhood because I have to drop Seunghyun off while his car is in the shop; let me give you a ride.” He felt slightly bad about making her stay so late that the trains had stopped running.

 

Minyoung hesitated. She didn’t want to take advantage of their kindness or seem unprofessional, but at the same time the forty-minute walk home was the last thing she wanted to do right now.

 

“Come on, it’s not safe,” Seunghyun added, seeing the indecision on her face. He was standing the closest to her, and as she looked up at him the worried furrow in his brow made her feel, just for a moment, like she would do anything to smooth it out. Seunghyun-oppa was very dangerous, she noted to herself, just like he’d been back then. She’d thought that half a lifetime would have done more to get rid of these annoying feelings, but it appeared not.

 

“Okay,” she conceded finally. “Thank you for the offer.”

 

They smiled at her in approval, and having the combined forces of Jiyong and Seunghyun’s smiles on her almost killed her for a moment, as the nostalgia and old attraction rushed back to the forefront. She cleared her throat awkwardly, looking down at her desk as she disconnected her phone to hide the fact that she was abruptly blushing.

 

Daesung, standing with Youngbae near the door, smirked. The moment he’d heard her sing the lightbulb had gone off in his head; he knew exactly who she was. He supposed he probably should have clued Jiyong and Seunghyun in, but the two of them sometimes got their heads up their asses and refused to see what was right before them. Besides, he was interested to know what would happen next. The chemistry between them had always been apparent, and Jiyong and Seunghyun’s close relationship with the younger girl had been the source of much teasing back when they were trainees.

 

“So, how long have you been in Korea?” Jiyong asked to break the slightly awkward silence once they parted ways with Daesung and Youngbae, who parked their cars on a different level of the carpark.

 

“A little over a year,” Minyoung replied. “I was doing something similar for a television company in New York and CEO Yang approached me with this opportunity because now that kpop is really starting to take off in the States he wanted marketing staff that would be comfortable with creating marketing campaigns that would appeal to Americans.”

 

“Wow, you must be pretty good at what you do to have been headhunted this way,” Seunghyun commented.

 

Minyoung flushed. “Not really,” she demurred modestly. “It’s more that there aren’t that many Americans who are fluent in Korean and willing to relocate to Seoul,” she said with a self-deprecating smile.

 

“Well, be that as it may, you’re doing really well,” he complimented, patting her shoulder. Jiyong, who caught the action, raised his brow at the other man, but Minyoung didn’t seem to notice. He supposed such casual physical contact was common in the States, but Seunghyun was really laying it on thick.

 

“Right, well, here’s my ride,” Jiyong said, as they stopped in front of a sleek black Lamborghini. Minyoung blinked at it. “Nice ride,” she said in awe. “But… it doesn’t look like I’ll fit inside,” she said, trying to peer into the tinted windows.

 

Seunghyun smirked at Jiyong. Without knowing it, he’d laid a perfect opportunity in his lap – literally. “No worries,” he said smoothly, going around to the passenger side and opening the door. “You can sit on me, it’s a short ride anyway.”

 

Jiyong scowled at the older man. He wasn’t sure what military service had done to Seunghyun, but he’d never been this brazen when chasing a girl before. He supposed it was just as well that Minyoung was American; any Korean girl would have run screaming for the hills at that blatant invitation.

 

Minyoung just rolled her eyes though, all too aware of what Seunghyun was trying to pull. “It’s fine,” she said. “I’ll just walk, I don’t want there to be… any accidents,” she said, glancing askance at Seunghyun for a second. That’s right, she thought, as he looked surprised for a moment. She could give as good as she got. This would never go anywhere, she would make sure of it, but harmless flirtation never hurt anyone, and it had been a while since she’d gotten any attention from a man. Being used to how bold American men were, she was still figuring out dating in Korea.

 

Jiyong snickered. “Don’t be like that, you’ll break his heart,” he said, opening the door to the driver’s seat and sliding into the car. “But really, it’s too late for you to walk and it’ll only be a ten-minute drive at most. I promise to drive safe,” he said, becoming serious again.

 

“All right,” she conceded, waiting for Seunghyun to get into the car and push the seat back as far as it would go. She gingerly climbed in on top of him, bracing herself against the dashboard to avoid putting her full weight on him. His hands settled around her waist, in a position that was incredibly intimate, although she tried to ignore it. It’s only for a short while, she thought to herself, clearing her throat awkwardly and avoiding the urge to fidget.

 

“So, we heard you singing earlier,” Seunghyun said, trying to relieve the tension he could literally feel radiating off her body. She was holding herself so stiffly he thought she might snap in half. “You were pretty good.”

 

Minyoung’s eyes widened in alarm, although thankfully neither man was in a position to see it. She’d forgotten about that. She would need to be more careful in the future – they might recognize her singing voice. The chances were slim, but it was better to be cautious than have her business spread all over YG, especially if Jiyong’s mouth was still as big as she remembered.

 

She coughed awkwardly. “Thank you,” she said, hoping that they wouldn’t continue this thread of conversation.

 

Of course, she wasn’t that lucky. “You’ve never thought about going professional?” Jiyong asked.

 

A spike of old resentment flashed through her, before she forced it down. “Well, things didn’t pan out that way for me, unfortunately,” she said with studied nonchalance. “Enough about me, though. Your new songs are really great,” she said with forced cheeriness. “I’m really looking forward to hearing the final results.”

 

The diversion worked, of course. Jiyong and Seunghyun immediately turned into G-Dragon and TOP, explaining the creative process and inspiration behind the demos she’d heard earlier. She relaxed and smiled at them, sinking into Seunghyun’s surprisingly comfortable body and listening to how passionately they explained their music. It really was something else, she marveled, how much they loved music. She was almost sorry when they pulled up in front of her apartment building, despite how late it was and how cramped it was in Jiyong’s car.

 

“Thank you for the ride,” she said as she struggled out of the car. “Good night, Jiyong-ssi, Seunghyun-ssi,” she said, bowing before turning and walking up the stairs to the entrance of her studio apartment.

 

Both men watched her disappear through the door, then turned to each other. “What the fuck was that?!” they both snarled at each other.

 

“You don’t even like her, what are you talking about?” Seunghyun snapped first.

 

“I never said that! And what about you? If she wasn’t American you’d probably be sued for harassment!” Jiyong shot back. “You can’t lay it on that thick, hyung!”

 

Seunghyun shrugged. “She didn’t seem to mind. Also, she likes me better, so back off.”

 

Jiyong rolled his eyes. “No fucking way,” he said, starting up the engine again and driving.

 

Minyoung, currently in sweats eating some stew she’d bought a few days ago from a market, had no idea what awaited her.


	3. Chapter 3

It was kind of strange, Daesung thought, that even without knowing it, the three of them had recreated their old dynamic. He watched as Minyoung, Jiyong and Seunghyun talked and laughed together in the cafeteria over lunch, sharing an amused glance with Youngbae. The three of them had somehow grown closer after the night they’d given her a ride home, although both men studiously refused to tell anyone what had happened that night.

 

Well, that was a lie. Seunghyun refused. Jiyong got drunk and spilled the beans fairly easily, a transgression for which the younger man was still paying.

 

He supposed sometimes chemistry didn’t fade. It was almost heartwarming, he supposed, that after all these years they’d still managed to find each other. Sure, back then their dynamic had been less… overtly sexual and flirtatious, owing to the age gap between them (there was a huge difference between fifteen and eighteen) but they’d always been close, and Jiyong and Seunghyun had taken Minyoung under their wing back then, almost from the very first instance she’d looked at them with those big, scared eyes and introduced herself as a new trainee on her first day when she was fourteen. It had been almost ridiculous how good they were to her, bringing her snacks and street food with the limited money they earned as backup performers for other artists because they knew how new trainees almost always went hungry, especially if they were foreigners whose families weren’t in Korea with them looking out for them.

 

Over the past week, Minyoung had joined the group for lunch almost every day, and they enjoyed her company to the extent that they even ate at the cafeteria so that she could eat with them. Apart from Friday, when lunch hours were more lax for the office staff and they took her out for lunch, she didn’t have enough time (or money, not that Jiyong or Seunghyun would hear of her paying) to eat at a restaurant for lunch, and the band had spent more time in the cafeteria in the past week than they had in the past few years combined, probably.

 

The girl had changed a lot, too. Daesung figured it was inevitable, since she’d been sixteen the last time they’d seen her and thirteen years had passed since, but there was a slight edge to her now, like the world had done her wrong somehow, like she’d seen hard times. It was in her eyes, which looked older and slightly sadder, in the way her gaze, once in a while, would flick over her left wrist, covered by the long-sleeved blouses she was always wearing. Her sense of humour had changed, too. She’d always been witty, but now there was a sardonic, sharp edge to her jokes, and she could be as cutting as she was funny.

 

Still, it didn’t seem to hurt her popularity. Sitting with her in the cafeteria, they were witness to a steady stream of artists and staff who came to say hi and chat with her, and she had a smile for every single one of them. The newer groups and trainees especially seemed to adore her, calling her _unnie_ or _noona_ , and bragging to her about what they had accomplished. She was always patient with them and encouraging about their progress. She was, surprisingly, so well-liked that even though she was sitting with Big Bang, it was the band that sometimes faded into the background and not her – younger artists would say hi to the band to be polite, but it was clear that they were there to chat with Minyoung.

 

So it wasn’t really a surprise when someone approached their table that day. The identity of the person who came up to them was unexpected, however – it was a senior executive at the company, who had been there since their trainee days. Back then he’d been a manager, though he’d never managed any of the guys.

 

“Minyoung-ah, nice to see you again!” the executive greeted casually. Minyoung looked up and smiled at the executive, standing up respectfully. “Yoonsung-oppa,” she said with a small bow, then tried to move to another corner with him. They all thought it was because she didn’t want to disturb the others, but her plan to move her former manager out of earshot was foiled when he immediately beamed at the boys. “Just like old times, huh?” he said to them.

 

Minyoung immediately sank back into her seat, groaning as she put her face in her hands. “Yoonsung-oppa, they didn’t know about that,” she protested, although her voice was slightly muffled.

 

“Oops, my bad,” the executive responded with a shrug. “I got too excited seeing you all together again. You gave me so much trouble back then; I was always wondering which one you were dating and whether you were going to tell me unwelcome and troublesome news,” he said, chuckling.

 

Minyoung sat up straighter at that. “I wasn’t dating any of them!” she protested. “I was underage, that’s gross! Three years at that age is a lot, Yoonsung-oppa!”

 

Daesung hazarded a glance at Jiyong and Seunghyun, who didn’t seem to be enjoying this humourous exchange as much as he was. Well, that was to be expected, he supposed. They looked incredibly confused instead. “O-ppa?” Jiyong mouthed at Seunghyun. Despite all the time they’d spent together this past week she still used formal honorifics when talking to them, and he couldn’t help but be a bit jealous. Seunghyun wasn’t even paying attention to him, his mind racing.

 

“Wait, you’re Lee Minyoung, that trainee from back then? Like, 2005?” Seunghyun blurted out, having finally connected the pieces in his mind.

 

Minyoung grimaced. “Yes, but please keep it down! I’m trying not to have the whole company know my business,” she said, although the last part was mostly directed at Jiyong, since she was sure it was him she had to worry about.

 

“Ah, sorry,” Seunghyun said in a more subdued tone. Jiyong still looked like he had seen the face of God.

 

“Minyoung-ssi is… Minyoung?” he murmured to himself, staring at her with wide eyes.

 

“Look, you broke Jiyong,” Youngbae said, laughing.

 

Minyoung sighed. “Are you okay, Jiyong-ssi?” He just frowned.

 

“Why’d you disappear like that back then?” Daesung jumped in. Now that the cat was out of the bag, he could finally ask the question he’d been dying to ask for ages now.

 

“It’s… a long story,” Minyoung said, tugging on her sleeve, “and this isn’t really the time or place to go into it.”

 

“We should have dinner tonight, then,” Seunghyun immediately interjected, “at my place.”

 

“Ah, that’s a nice idea,” Taeyang said, nodding in agreement.

 

“All right, it’s settled then. You can ride with me,” Seunghyun said quickly, taking advantage of Jiyong’s shock, which had really rendered him speechless for far too long now.

 

“Okay, cool,” Minyoung said with a smile that looked more like a slightly pained grimace. As much as she had fun hanging out with them, she really didn’t want to get into it with anyone, least of all them. Noticing that her lunch hour was basically up, she quickly drank the last few mouthfuls of her soup and stood up with her tray. “I’ll see you tonight, then. Jiyong-ssi, you sure you’re okay?”

 

He nodded but didn’t say anything. Minyoung still looked concerned, but had to go, so she just accepted his answer.

 

“What the hell was that?!” The exclamation burst out of Jiyong the moment Minyoung was out of earshot. “She’s been Minyoung all this while and didn’t bother to tell us that we knew her back then?”

 

Seunghyun sighed. “I’m not thrilled about it either, but we should hear her out first before making a judgement, don’t you think?” He knew it wouldn’t be easy for Jiyong to accept it. He’d been so upset to find out about her abrupt disappearance back then, easily the most affected out of all of them. He’d been sure for so long that she was coming back, insisted that he could feel it. The feelings of betrayal and abandonment seemed not to have left him, given the way he was scowling.

 

“Yeah, hyung. She probably has some good reasons for dropping out – she was doing so well in the trainee program that it didn’t make sense that she just decided to go home because she was tired of it or something,” Daesung concurred.

 

“Fine, I guess,” Jiyong accepted with ill grace, still frowning. “Let’s just get back to the studio.”

 

At six in the evening, Seunghyun materialized in front of Minyoung’s desk. “Ready to go?” he asked.

 

Minyoung started. “Hello, Seunghyun-ssi,” she greeted. “Yeah, just let me turn everything off,” she said, saving what she was working on and shutting down her desktop. She put her notebook back in her drawer and tidied up a little around the desk, then grabbed her bag. “Let’s go,” she said, smiling up at him.

 

“I’m going to buy some wine on the way home,” he told her as they stepped into the elevator to go to the carpark. “Do you have any preference?”

 

Minyoung laughed. “I hardly drink enough wine to have a preference. What are we eating tonight?”

 

He shrugged. “Probably delivery food; I didn’t have time to organize anything.”

 

“Then shouldn’t we drink soju?”

 

He paused. “That’s true,” he agreed.

 

They stopped at an outdoor vendor and Minyoung got down from the car while he waited inside. He’d tried to protest, but she just pointed out that it would waste even more time if he had to chat with and give autographs to all the people inside the tent.

 

When Minyoung opened the car door, he whistled at the amount of soju she was carrying. “That’s too much, surely.”

 

“It’s difficult for me to talk about it,” she said quietly. “I haven’t been able to tell anyone about it sober who didn’t already know some details.”

 

He started the car and started driving off. “You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to. We’re all curious, but we also understand that sometimes there are things that should be kept private.” As he said that, they both knew that he was referring to the many scandals and problems they’d encountered that had been made even worse by everything playing out in the public eye. As a celebrity, everything was always out there – the good, the bad, and the ugly.

 

She turned to give him a grateful look and squeezed his knee. “Thank you for saying that,” she said, the sincerity in her voice touching him. When he gave her a half-smile in response, she continued. “I probably do owe you guys an explanation, though. You were so good to me, especially Jiyong-ssi and you.”

 

“All right, as long as you feel comfortable. Just remember, we all fuck up sometimes. We won’t hold anything against you, especially since it happened so long ago.”

 

She laughed. “Oh God, no! What are you thinking of? It was nothing like that.”

 

When they arrived back at Seunghyun’s apartment, they found all the others already waiting in the parking lot. “What took you guys so long?” Taeyang called.

 

“We stopped to get drinks, Taeyang-ssi,” Minyoung called, holding up the plastic bag with the soju inside.

 

“Woah, that’s a lot! How drunk were you planning on getting tonight?” Daesung exclaimed, laughing.

 

Minyoung laughed along with him but didn’t otherwise respond, her gaze drifting towards Jiyong, who was still leaning against his car. He was staring at her with an inscrutable expression, and she bit her lip in worry. Out of all of them, Jiyong was the one she was the most worried about. She didn’t know if he was still the same way, but back then he’d felt everything so strongly, and they’d had such a strong relationship that she knew he felt betrayed when she disappeared without a word.

 

“Come on,” Seunghyun said, beginning to walk to the elevator. “I’m hungry.”

 

Grateful for the distraction, Minyoung followed.

 

In the apartment, they called a nearby delivery store and sat down to wait for their order to come. Seunghyun grabbed some shot glasses for the soju and placed them on the coffee table. Daesung and Taeyang were sitting on the couch, Seunghyun on the armchair, and Minyoung and Jiyong were sitting on the ground.

 

Minyoung automatically opened a bottle of soju and started pouring it out for everyone. “Bottoms up, everyone,” she said, raising her glass to clink with theirs.

 

Daesung grinned at her. “It’s nice not having to pour the drinks all the time,” he said, referring to the fact that it was custom for the youngest in the group to serve the drinks.

 

Minyoung laughed. “Well, it’s my pleasure to relieve you of that duty,” she said, tipping her glass towards him slightly before downing her shot.

 

Chatting and laughing, the time passed quickly and before they knew it the doorbell rang.

 

“I’ll get it,” Jiyong said immediately, grabbing his wallet. He had to get away from this cozy situation where they pretended like nothing was wrong. Now that he knew she was Minyoung, the same person as that trainee he’d been such good friends with, the setup reminded him too much of all the time they’d spent together as teenagers. They’d even unknowingly sat back into the same positions they’d usually taken when hanging out in the apartment they’d shared as trainees. Minyoung hadn’t been allowed in, of course, since there were no girls in the boys’ dorms, but she’d lived in the same building and snuck out at night all the time.

 

“I’ll come help,” Minyoung volunteered. She needed a second to talk to Jiyong alone, to make sure that things were okay. He’d been so quiet since he found out, when usually he was always chatty around her.

 

Jiyong looked at her and nodded tightly. He wasn’t happy about it, but there was nothing he could say to dissuade her without making it weird for everyone in the room.

 

“Jiyong-ssi, are you angry?” she whispered as they walked together to the front entrance.

 

To his embarrassment, the first thing he said was, “Jiyong-ssi? Why don’t you call me oppa, like you used to? You knew all along, so why did you bother with the honorifics?”

 

He cringed as soon as the words were out of his mouth. They were petty and unkind, and he wished he could take them back.

 

Minyoung, to her credit, just nodded. “I know you must be upset about everything, but please… don’t make any judgements until I tell you everything? If you’re still angry after that I understand but just hear me out, please?”

 

The pleading look in her eyes quashed his anger immediately. Jiyong could do nothing but nod at her as they opened the door to pick up the food from the ground, where the deliveryman had left it.

 

“Ah, thank you, Minyoung-ssi!” Daesung exclaimed, sitting forward as she put the bucket she was holding on the coffee table.

 

“Hey, I’m the one who paid for the food! Where’s my thanks?” Jiyong grumbled as he set his bucket down next to hers.

 

“Yes, yes, thank you, GD-ssi,” Taeyang said drolly. “So desperate for recognition,” he commented to Seunghyun, shaking his head in mock disapproval.

 

They laughed as Jiyong sputtered out a protest.

 

Immersed in her delicious kimchi stew, Minyoung half-listened to them bicker. She’d always been like this; when her food first arrived, she completely checked out of any conversation at the table while she ate. It was only towards the end of the meal that she could refocus her attention on what was going on.

 

It was almost too soon when everyone finished their food. They’d continued drinking the whole time too, and were all slightly buzzed.

 

“Minyoung-ah, do you want to tell us now?” Taeyang asked.

 

“Okay,” Minyoung agreed, not looking at any of them. She pushed her bowl away and grabbed the open bottle of soju. She poured herself a shot then knocked it back immediately. After repeating that two more times, she slammed the glass back onto the table. “Okay,” she said again, blowing out her breath for courage.

 

“So, where to start?” she said, frowning. She didn’t notice the four of them gaping at her rapid alcohol consumption.

 

“Uh, why’d you leave?” Daesung prompted helpfully.

 

“Right, right,” she said nodding. “I left because of a family emergency to go back to the States. My father had been fighting brain cancer for a while, and when the doctors said it was terminal I had to go home immediately, of course,” she said, peeking up at them. Seunghyun nodded in encouragement and understanding.

 

“So, I left in a huge hurry, and didn’t really tell anyone before I left that I was going. I only told my roommate, I think, because she saw me packing and asked where I was going. I didn’t say goodbye to anyone because at that point I still thought I was coming home after… you know,” she said, not able to say the words.

 

Then she grabbed the bottle of soju and drained the last of it directly into her mouth. “Well, after my father passed away and everything was settled, we found out that the family was basically bankrupted because of the hospital bills and everything. You know how America is,” she said, waving a hand in the air.

 

“Minyoung, that’s awful,” Seunghyun said sympathetically. “We understand, you don’t have to say any more.”

 

Minyoung smiled sadly. “No, I’ve come this far, you might as well hear the rest of it. So,” she continued. “At that point my family’s situation was really pretty messed up, I mean, my father had died of cancer, which was in itself traumatic, but the hospital bills also bankrupted my family because America is fucked up. We were almost homeless at one point, actually, and to make things even worse, my mother basically had a breakdown because of her depression and trauma, watching the love of her life waste away in front of her eyes and all that. She wasn’t in any position to work, and the debts were piling up really quick, what with the psychiatric help she needed. My brother was twelve and couldn’t possibly work, so I basically had to go home and become the sole breadwinner of my family.

 

“Thankfully, my mother had always insisted that I get my GED before I debut, so I’d done it as soon as possible and by that point I had a GED – I don’t think I could have supported my family without it in New York. So I got a shitty data entry job, because they had a healthcare plan that would pay for my mother’s treatment, worked nights and weekends as a dance instructor because apparently being a YG trainee goes a long way even in New York, and, you know… that was basically my life for a while.”

 

“Minyoung-ah… why didn’t you ever contact any of us? We would have helped you,” Jiyong said, his voice wobbling slightly from emotion.

 

Minyoung looked down at her empty shot glass, which she was rocking side to side. “Well, at first I was embarrassed to, which I know is ridiculous in hindsight,” she said, hearing the sounds of protest coming from all the members. “But back then I was sixteen, and had gone from being a YG trainee to working like a dog, living in a shitty studio apartment in the Bronx with my mother and brother that had rats living in the wall that I could hear at night. Plus, I wasn’t sure what to say,” she said with a shrug. “We’d kind of grown apart in that last year after you guys debuted because you were so busy, and I just felt a little awkward.

 

“I did try to contact you guys once, though,” she said, looking back up at them with a small smile. “It was when I was nineteen, I think. By that point my mother was better and was able to get a job, so I cut back my hours and was in college. I’d kept your numbers all those years,” she explained with a wistful smile. “But when I called the numbers the people who picked up were all strangers. I guess you’d gotten into the habit of changing your phone numbers frequently by then,” she said with a shrug. “It happens, I guess.”

 

Jiyong crawled over to her and hugged her tightly. “I’m so sorry,” he cried emotionally, rubbing his cheek against the top of her head.

 

“It’s okay,” she said, hugging him back. “It’s not your fault.”

 

Seunghyun got onto the floor and wrapped his arms around her too. “We should have tried harder to get in contact with you,” he castigated himself.

 

Minyoung wrapped an arm around him too, squeezing him close. “You couldn’t possibly have known,” she said with a little surprise, patting them both on the back. “You shouldn’t blame yourselves for my messed up life story, Jiyong-ssi, Seunghyun-ssi.”

 

Jiyong pulled back with a frown. “You should call us the same way you used to back then,” he insisted.

 

Daesung and Taeyang shared a look. It appeared that Jiyong was more jealous about the earlier incident in the cafeteria than he was letting on. Minyoung, for her part, was too relieved about the fact that he was talking to her again to really notice. “When we’re alone I will, Jiyong-oppa,” she agreed.

 

“That’s good,” he said, smiling back at her for a moment. “Should we drink some more?”

 

“Oh, yes,” she said, wriggling out of their grasp to grab a new bottle of soju. Seunghyun and Jiyong, gazing at her back fondly as she got up onto her knees to fill everyone’s cups, didn’t notice the smirks the other two members were directing at them.

 

Predictably, several members of the group got too drunk that night. Minyoung, of course, passed out lying on the coffee table, and Jiyong, who’d gotten too happy after making up with her and drank more than he intended, was lying on the ground next to her.

 

“So…” Daesung said, watching the pair from the dining table. The other three members of the group had moved there when Seunghyun offered to make coffee for the other two members to help them sober up before they drove home.

 

“There’s no way either of them are making it home tonight,” Youngbae said, snorting with laughter.

 

Seunghyun shrugged. “They can stay here tonight. I’ll let Minyoung have the bed… Jiyong can stay on the ground all night for all I care,” he said, to the laughter of the other two.

 

“All right, I should go home, Eunran will be worried,” Youngbae said soon after. “Good night, hyung,” he said as Seunghyun walked him to the door. Daesung followed and echoed Youngbae’s words.

 

In the elevator down, the two of them howled with laughter. “Remember back when we had a bet on which of the two would end up dating Minyoung?” Daesung managed to choke out.

 

Youngbae nodded. “That’s so back on,” he said, shaking hands with Daesung to confirm it.

 

Back in the apartment, Seunghyun was kneeling next to Minyoung. “Minyoung-ah, wake up,” he said, shaking her shoulder gently. Minyoung groaned and then pushed herself off the table slightly, pushing back some of her hair that had fallen over her face. “I should get home,” she mumbled, starting to stand up.

 

“No, wait, you’re not in any condition to go home and I don’t think either Jiyong or I can drive you home tonight,” he said. “You should stay here tonight; you can have my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

 

“What? No,” Minyoung protested. “I feel really bad about kicking you out of your own bed.” She managed to get up on her own two feet unsteadily and stood for a moment, swaying. Seunghyun held his arms around her just in case she needed to brace herself against something.

 

“You all right?” he asked, just to confirm. Minyoung managed to get her balance and nodded in affirmation.

 

“You can borrow some clothes too, but you’ll probably have to go back to your apartment tomorrow morning before work,” Seunghyun continued.

 

“Okay,” Minyoung said, rubbing her forehead. Seunghyun guided her into the bedroom. “There’s a bathroom over there,” he said, pointing to another door. “You can do… whatever you need to, and I’ll find something you can wear tonight.”

 

Minyoung wasn’t listening to him, though. “Your bed is massive!” she said. “We can totally share.”

 

Seunghyun hesitated. “Um, what?” Was she coming onto him?

 

Minyoung heard the shock in his voice and rolled her eyes. “Come on, we can just lie next to each other without it being weird, can’t we? We’re not teenagers anymore. I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself if that’s what you’re worried about,” she said. “I just feel bad about kicking you out of the bed when there’s really more than enough space for both of us.”

 

“All right, then,” Seunghyun acquiesced.

 

Minyoung smiled at him cheerily. “Okay,” she said, before going into the bathroom and locking the door behind her.

 

Seunghyun shook his head. She was a tornado and a vixen, and she didn’t even know it.

 

He found an old t-shirt from some variety show he’d done years ago and left it on the bed for her, then went to take care of Jiyong.

 

“Yah, Jiyong-ah,” he said in a decidedly less gentle tone, nudging the younger man with his foot.

 

Jiyong groaned and rolled over so he was facing up and squinted at Seunghyun.

 

“Top-hyung, how’s it going?” he asked with a yawn, sitting up. “I don’t think I can go home tonight, I’m too drunk. Can I stay?” he asked, slurring his words slightly.

 

Seunghyun rolled his eyes. “Yes, you can, but Minyoung is staying too and she gets the bed. You can have the couch.”

 

“Fine,” Jiyong said sulkily, crawling over to the couch then climbing up onto it unglamorously.

 

With that taken care of, Seunghyun went back into his room to find the spare clothes Jiyong had left in his apartment the last time he’d been here. After living together for so long, the band had some codependency issues and all had spare clothes in each other’s apartments. He found Minyoung showered and lying on her side, curled up comfortably under the sheets.

 

“Seunghyun-oppa, hi,” she said through a yawn. “I found your makeup remover and an extra contact lens case,” she reported.

 

“That’s good,” he said, coming to sit on the bed beside her. “You doing okay?” he asked softly.

 

“Yeah,” she confirmed, wriggling in the bed to sink deeper into the sheets. Seunghyun grabbed a bottle of water from the minifridge he had in his room and placed it on the bedside table next to her before going to the bathroom to get ready for bed himself.

 

When he came back, he found Minyoung and Jiyong curled up together in the bed. “What the hell?” he exclaimed softly.

 

Minyoung opened her eyes and blinked a few times before refocusing on him. “Oh, Jiyong-oppa came in and said the sofa was uncomfortable, so I let him squeeze here with me. Don’t worry, there’s still enough space for you,” she said, sticking one arm out of the sheets to pat the empty side of the bed next to her.

 

“Okay, fine,” he grumbled, getting into the bed. As he was settling in, Jiyong opened his eyes and shot Seunghyun a smirk that Minyoung couldn’t see, since she’d already fallen back asleep. Jiyong was a sneaky adversary, it appeared. Seunghyun would do well to not forget that again.


	4. Chapter 4

Minyoung woke up to a ray of sunlight shining directly into her eyes.

 

“God…” she mumbled in English, trying to raise a hand to block the sunlight. She must have forgotten to close the blinds again, stupid Brooklyn apartment –

 

Wait a minute. She’d moved out of Brooklyn a year ago to come to Korea.

 

She also realized a second later that she couldn’t move her arms, and looked down, squinting against the glare of the sun, to find out why.

 

Fuck.

 

She squirmed out of the puppy pile she was somehow in the middle of, pushing Jiyong away as he whined and grabbed at her. “What time is it?” she asked raspily, blinking to clear the sleep from her eyes. She patted the bed around her to try to find her phone.

 

Disturbed from his comfortable sleep, Jiyong sat up grumpily and, in a moment of spite, punched Seunghyun in the shoulder to wake him up too. “The lady wants to know what time it is,” he said, yawning.

 

Seunghyun squirmed in the bed then reached for his phone on the bedside table. “It’s seven-thirty,” he said after looking blearily at the screen for a moment.

 

“Shit, really?” Minyoung asked. In a sudden flurry of motion, she pushed the sheets away from her body and wriggled off the bed. “I need to get home and get ready for work! I have to be there in an hour!”

 

She stumbled into the bathroom where she used the toilet and put her contacts back in. Emerging no longer blind, she hastily started gathering up her things. “Jiyong-oppa, will you give me a ride?”

 

When she encountered no response, she looked up to see the two men staring dumbly at her. “Oppa, this is serious! I’m going to be late for work at this rate!”

 

Jiyong swallowed. “Um, right,” he said, trying to get his mind to work after seeing her clad in nothing but Seunghyun’s shirt. “Just give me a moment, I’ll be right out.”

 

“Okay, thank you,” she said, going back to the bed to squeeze his shoulder before scrambling out of the bedroom to try and find the rest of her stuff.

 

Jiyong lay back in the bed for a moment next to Seunghyun, dazed. “That girl will be the death of me,” he muttered to the other man, who just grunted in agreement.

 

“Oppa, why are you still in bed?” Minyoung reappeared in the doorway.

 

“Um, Minyoung-ah,” Seunghyun said carefully. “Not that you don’t look very pretty in my shirt, but are you sure you want to go home wearing just that?”

 

She blinked at him. “Oh, right,” she said, looking down at herself. She didn’t know how that had gotten past her. Dropping her stuff on the ground, she took the clothes she’d worn yesterday and went back into the bathroom to change. Meanwhile, Jiyong got up, used the other bathroom in the apartment, and grabbed his things.

 

“Let’s go,” he said to her as she walked back out. “Bye, hyung,” he called to the older man, who was still lying in bed.

 

It was a short ride to Minyoung’s apartment, and the two of them made small talk, feeling slightly awkward about what had happened the night before. When they pulled up outside Minyoung’s apartment, she made to escape with a hasty “Thanks, bye!” but he stopped her before she could exit the car.

 

“Do you need a ride to work? I can wait for you,” he offered, running a hand through his hair.

 

She blinked at him. “Don’t you need to get home?”

 

He shrugged. “We kind of agreed to take the morning off since we’re doing pretty well on comeback prep,” he explained.

 

“People will talk if they see me coming out of your car though, especially if you leave after.”

 

“So I won’t leave,” he shrugged. “I can always spend some time in the studio before the others come.”

 

Minyoung hesitated, but a glance back at the dashboard clock convinced her. “Okay,” she agreed. “Thanks for the offer.”

 

Jiyong parked his car by the curb outside her apartment and got out, locking his car as he followed her up the stairs.

 

Minyoung stopped for a moment before she opened the door, trying to remember if she’d left anything embarrassing out when she’d left home the previous morning. Figuring there was no choice anyway, she opened the door and stepped aside to let him in.

 

“Welcome to my home,” she said as she toed off her heels. “Do you want coffee, tea, water?”

 

“Ah, it’s fine,” he responded, trying to hide the fact that he was gawping at her apartment. It was small, but cute, cozy, and he could see her personality shining through every bit of the apartment.

 

“Okay, if you change your mind, everything’s in the kitchen, just help yourself,” she called, already making her way to the closet to grab a fresh set of clothes.

 

Jiyong made his way over to the couch and sat down, at least until he heard the sound of the shower coming on, then he got up and started to look around the apartment.

 

It was a small studio, with the bed in one corner. She had cute baby pink sheets and a fluffy comforter with a pretty geometric print. On her bedside table she had a picture of her family in a pretty silver frame, and he smiled when he saw the small soft toy he had given her for her sixteenth birthday next to it. It was a dragon wrapped around a cat, so chosen because he was a dragon and she resembled a cat in her personality and mannerisms.

 

Drifting over to the desk, he noted the files that were pushed up against the wall and the pretty rose quartz paperweight Seunghyun had given her when she’d passed her GED exam resting under her desk lamp.

 

Her makeup and skincare products were scattered haphazardly across the dresser, a hodgepodge of American and Korean products. He smiled as he noted the small pile of expensive eyeshadows – it appeared she had a weakness too.

 

It was wrong to snoop, he knew, but he couldn’t help but take the opportunity to satiate his curiosity as he poked around her apartment. Going over to the small kitchenette, he noted the pictures she had on her fridge and the calendar she kept there, with notes written in English on it. Opening the fridge and freezer, he saw a combination of raw ingredients and frozen premade meals.

 

“Are you hungry?” Minyoung’s voice startled him into turning around with wide eyes. She’d come out of the shower and was toweling her hair dry. His heart squeezed at how cute and young she looked with the towel half covering her face.

 

“No, just…” he trailed off, unable to admit that he was snooping.

 

Minyoung sat down at her dresser and started her morning skincare routine. “I should be done soon, thanks again for waiting for me,” she said.

 

“Have you been living here since you moved to Korea?” Jiyong asked, sitting on the desk chair near the dresser.

 

“Yeah, CEO Yang put me up in temporary housing when I first got here, which basically means I lived in the dorms with the trainees,” she said, making a face at him in the mirror. “Needless to say, I was very motivated to find my own place and move out. Living there once was enough,” she said with a small laugh, reaching for her makeup.

 

“Yeah, that must not have been fun,” Jiyong responded with a wince, remembering how cramped and unpleasant the dorms had been. They were bad enough as teens; he couldn’t imagine living there now, sharing a room with what must feel like children.

 

“Well, it wasn’t that bad,” Minyoung said diplomatically, leaning into the mirror to apply her eyeliner, which she did in a smooth, practiced motion. “I eventually ended up in charge of the trainees I was staying with after they debuted, so it was good that I got to know them beforehand.”

 

“Oh, that’s good, then.” Jiyong didn’t realise it, but he was staring at her reflection in the mirror, watching her get ready. It wasn’t like it was the first time he’d watched a woman put her makeup on, or have her makeup done, for that matter, but somehow Minyoung’s simple everyday makeup routine was endlessly fascinating to him.

 

She closed her eyes to spritz setting spray on (an American product she wouldn’t give up if her life depended on it) then opened them, fanning her face lightly with her hands.

 

“Enough about me, though. What have you been up to in the past thirteen years?” Minyoung asked, curling her lashes and applying mascara.

 

Jiyong shrugged. “Oh, you know. Being adored by millions of fans, what else?” he joked with a smile.

 

She rolled her eyes at him. “Of course I know that. I mean personally.” She picked up two different earrings and held them up next to either side of her face. “Which one do you like better?”

 

He looked at her thoughtfully. “That one,” he said, pointing at the left.

 

She put both earrings down, then started fastening the pair he’d chosen to her ear. “Good choice,” she said, looking at her reflection appraisingly. “Let’s go,” she said then, picking up her purse and house keys she’d left on the coffee table.

 

“Well, there’s nothing much to tell…” Jiyong said, frowning. “I mean, I dated around a bit, I guess, but my last relationship fizzled out while I was serving my military service, and I’ve been single since then.” He followed her out the door and stood behind her as she closed and locked it.

 

“I guess Youngbae-oppa was the luckiest in love, after all, huh?” Minyoung commented, walking down the steps to Jiyong’s car.

 

“True, but we always knew he would be,” Jiyong shrugged. It was true – even when they’d been trainees, Youngbae had never dated around the way the other boys had. When he found a girl he liked, he chased her down and his relationships were always serious.

 

Minyoung smiled as she got into the passenger seat. She was happy for the older man – if anyone deserved love, it was him. She remembered his serious and caring attitude, the way he’d never teased her the way the others had, even Jiyong and Seunghyun, whom she’d been closer to. Back then, when she’d fought with Jiyong and Seunghyun he’d always been the one to lend her a listening ear and offer calm and reasoned advice. The other girls she’d been friends with had been too jealous at her close relationship with the Big Bang trainees for her to confide in them, so Youngbae had truly been invaluable.

 

The two continued to chat about what the band had been up to while Minyoung had been away, although both skirted around the various scandals that the band members had been involved in.

 

When Jiyong parked the car in the YG parking lot, Minyoung stepped out and waited for him to get out of the car too before they walked to the elevator together. Thankfully, they were slightly late, so there wasn’t anyone around to question their simultaneous arrival. They stepped into the elevator when it arrived, each pressing the button for their respective levels.

 

“Do you want to have lunch later?” Jiyong asked, as the elevator started moving.

 

Minyoung looked up, watching the numbers flashing. “I can’t today, I have lunch plans.” Before Jiyong could ask for more details, the elevator stopped at Minyoung’s floor and she stepped out. “Thanks again for the ride, oppa! See you!” she called as she hurried down the corridor, checking the time on her phone again. “Shit fucker,” she hissed as she arrived at the door to the marketing office. Smoothing her skirt down, she took a deep breath before opening the door and gliding in, the height of poise.

 

“Minyoung-ssi, you’re usually the earliest one here! What happened today?” a colleague called teasingly.

 

Minyoung smiled awkwardly at him. “Good morning, sungbae-nim,” she said politely. “I had a little too much to drink last night and overslept,” she said with a shrug. It was a common enough excuse in Korea for being late for work, and she was only about twenty minutes late so it wasn’t a huge disciplinary issue.

 

“Wow, fancy date?” he continued.

 

Minyoung grit her teeth. This man had been trying to get her to go out with him for almost as long as she’d been working here, although she’d made it abundantly clear that she didn’t date coworkers. She tittered politely but didn’t otherwise respond as she made her way to her desk.

 

Immersed in her work, she barely realized that time was passing until someone materialized in front of her desk. “Unnie, you ready to go?” Chaeyoung asked in English.

 

Minyoung blinked up at the younger girl. “Oh, right,” she said, glancing down at the clock in the corner of her computer screen. “Um, give me a second,” she said, saving her work and putting her computer to sleep. She stood up and grabbed her wallet and phone. “Let’s go,” she said with a smile.

 

“Unnie, let’s go out to eat today. I just got paid!” Chaeyoung exclaimed enthusiastically.

 

Minyoung smiled. “What do you feel like eating?” she asked.

 

Chaeyoung bit her lip. This was always a difficult question for her. “Let’s eat yukgaejang,” she finally decided. There was a small restaurant not far from the YG building that had killer yukgaejang.

 

As they stepped into the elevator, Chaeyoung asked Minyoung the question she’d been dying to for a week now. “What’s going on with you and Big Bang? I heard you guys have been spending a lot of time together.

 

Minyoung flushed, remembering the compromising position she’d found herself in just that morning, although she tried to school her expression. “Um, nothing’s going on. We’re just colleagues, that’s all. They’re just being nice since we’re working together on their comeback.”

 

“Mm, alright,” Chaeyoung said, although the smirk she shot Minyoung suggested that she didn’t quite believe the other woman. Her suspicions were further confirmed when the two of them ran into Seunghyun on their way out. “Oh, Minyoung-ah!” he greeted with a smile she’d never seen him wear for anyone else. “How nice to see you again!”

 

“Seunghyun-ssi,” she greeted formally, a warning to him that she wasn’t alone. “It’s nice to see you too. Are you on your way to the studio to meet the others?”

 

“Yeah,” he said, still smiling at her like an idiot. “Hey, you should join us for dinner tonight if you’re free.”

 

Minyoung smiled back at him. She really couldn’t help it when he was so cute, smiling at her so earnestly. “I’ll have to check my calendar when I get back to the office, but it should be fine,” she agreed.

 

“Okay, I’ll see you later then.” He took a step towards her, seeming for a moment to want to touch her shoulder, before his eyes flicked over towards Rosé, standing next to Minyoung with a half-smile on her face, and he thought better of it. “Um, right,” he said with a slight flush creeping up his neck. “Good afternoon, Chaeyoung-ah,” he greeted her.

 

“Good afternoon, Top-oppa,” she almost sang gleefully, bowing politely. When he left, she turned towards Minyoung, linking her arm through the other woman’s arm. “Okay, you _have_ to tell me everything,” she said, switching back to English.

 

Minyoung looked back at Seunghyun’s retreating form, biting her lip as her gaze travelled over his long, lean silhouette. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she murmured halfheartedly. “There’s really nothing going on.”

 

Chaeyoung grinned. She didn’t know if Minyoung was deliberately withholding information from her or if the other woman was just unaware of the way she and Seunghyun looked at each other, but either way, she would put money on the two of them dating before the year was out.


	5. Chapter 5

Lisa was starting to get confused.

 

She was working out with Minyoung, which was normal – she had to exercise a lot because of her refusal to give up her favourite foods, and Minyoung just seemed to love exercise anyway – but in recent weeks the two of them had started to attract a small audience, and it was getting slightly uncomfortable to have people just watching them spar or exercise together.

 

The YG headquarters had very comprehensive exercise facilities which both artists and staff were permitted to use, and Minyoung had used that perk extensively since she’d started working at the company. It beat the hell out of paying for classpass or three to four gyms, which was what she’d been doing in New York.

 

What? She liked to spice up her exercise routine. And with how often she went, she got good use out of her memberships anyway.

 

So it wasn’t long before she and Lisa became friends and started working out together, even becoming sparring partners in kickboxing. They weren’t always able to work out together, since Lisa’s schedule was a lot more flexible than hers, but they tried as often as possible to exercise together and keep each other on track.

 

For the most part, though, since they worked out either in the mornings before Minyoung had to go to work or in the evenings after she was done, the gym was mostly empty and the two of them had the space to themselves. But in recent weeks, more people had been appearing in the gym when they were exercising, and they were none other than the Big Bang members Seunghyun and Jiyong.

 

She understood why Seunghyun was there – Chaeyoung had told her everything, after all, and Seunghyun did use the YG facilities from time to time – but it was really something else that Jiyong, whose hatred for exercise was almost legendary and who usually chose to work out outside of YG, was here. And they always offered Minyoung a ride home after working out at night, although she didn’t always accept.

 

She’d tried to ask Minyoung about it once in the locker rooms after a workout, but the other girl just sighed and said, “God knows why they’re so extra all the time.”

 

So it was something of an ongoing debate at the Blackpink dorm. Chaeyoung insisted that it was Seunghyun that Minyoung had a thing going with, but it looked to Lisa that Jiyong was more interested in her, although admittedly if he wasn’t there for comparison, she could see why Chaeyoung thought it was Seunghyun.

 

It was getting to the extent that they were even wondering if they should ask the other members of Big Bang to shed some light on it. The only thing that was stopping them was that gossiping about your fellow band members was extremely poor form. For now, they just tried to hang around Minyoung more to find out more details. If the older woman noticed them acting weird, she was gracious enough not to say anything to make them feel bad about it.

 

Minyoung might not mind the girls spending more time with her, but Jiyong and Seunghyun did. Minyoung was happy to eat with a larger group of people for lunch and never turned the guys away when they approached her in the cafeteria, but when there were other people around she used honorifics and formal language, and they couldn’t talk about a lot of things because she refused to let other people find out about her past career at YG.

 

They were sitting at the cafeteria together one day when Min Jungook, the persistent colleague, came up to them. Minyoung treated him politely but coolly and, suitably chastised after a short conversation, he left.

 

“Minyoung-unnie, why are you so mean to him?” Jennie asked, watching him slink away with his tail between his legs.

 

Minyoung rolled her eyes. “He keeps asking me out, and I don’t know how to make it clearer than I already have that I’m not interested.”

 

Lisa, sensing an opportunity, cast a sly glance at Chaeyoung. “He’s cute though, and the company doesn’t really frown on dating coworkers.”

 

Minyoung scoffed. “That doesn’t make it any less awkward and uncomfortable if anything goes wrong. Plus, he’s not my type.”

 

Chaeyoung, on the same wavelength as Lisa as always, immediately jumped in. “Really? What’s your type then, unnie?”

 

Minyoung, now sensing that she had the undivided attention of everyone at the table, cleared her throat awkwardly and rubbed the back of her neck. “Well, not him,” she hedged uncomfortably. “Besides, coworkers are just off-limits.” The way she grimaced made it clear that there was some personal reason for her severe reaction.

 

Jisoo, always one to push limits, asked coyly, “Is it just that he works in the same department as you, or do you consider anyone at the same company off-limits?”

 

Minyoung sipped her drink. “Same company, I guess.”

 

All the members of Blackpink, plus Daesung and Youngbae, immediately looked over at Seunghyun and Jiyong to see their reaction, while Minyoung obliviously went back to her food. Both men stared hard at the top of her head, frowning.

 

“Minyoung-ah, why do you say that?” Taeyang took pity on the two men and intervened.

 

Minyoung looked up. “Bad experience,” she said succinctly.

 

“Not something you can talk about sober?” Seunghyun asked with a raised brow. He was beginning to notice a pattern with Minyoung. He should have anticipated that she was a chatty drunk.

 

She winked at him and tapped her nose.

 

“Oh? Unnie, what drunk secrets have you spilled?” Chaeyoung asked in English.

 

Without missing a beat, Minyoung answered smoothly, “Nothing fit for your young ears to hear.”

 

When Chaeyoung pouted, Minyoung laughed at her. “When you get your first platinum single, I’ll tell you.”

 

“Deal,” Chaeyoung said, sticking her hand out to shake on it.

 

After lunch, when Jiyong and Seunghyun walked Minyoung back to her office, Chaeyoung and Lisa shook on something else with Daesung and Taeyang. They were officially being added to the pool.

 

* * *

 

 

Somehow, that Friday both bands ended up at Minyoung’s apartment, which was really too small to host that many people. They sat on the ground with bottles of soju, wine and whiskey scattered about.

 

Half-buzzed Minyoung, looking at the scene from where she was sitting on the ground leaning against the couch, laughed suddenly. “This is just like college,” she explained when they turned to look at her questioningly.

 

“Ah, college,” Jiyong sighed wistfully. Despite having gone, he’d never had the real ‘college experience’ due to his heavy commitments as an idol.

 

“What’s college like in the States?” Seunghyun asked from his position next to Minyoung. He was half slouched over her at this point, a glass of wine in his hand.

 

“You mean apart from the crushing debt?” Minyoung said, laughing. “It was a good time. I had to squeeze my degree into as little time as possible to reduce said debt because I have enough debt to service, so I didn’t have the most representative experience, but I remember getting drunk with my friends like this when exams ended.”

 

“Aw, Minyoung is so cute,” Jiyong cooed, dragging himself to her with his hands to hug her and nuzzle her cheek with his nose. She laughed and hugged him with one arm, closing her eyes and leaning into him cutely.

 

“We should put some music on,” Lisa exclaimed, holding her cup in the air.

 

“Oh, that’s a good idea!” Jisoo clapped. “Unnie, what kind of music do you have?”

 

Minyoung reached for her phone, dislodging Jiyong and Seunghyun in the process, who both groaned in dissatisfaction as they readjusted themselves.

 

“Hmm, it’s mostly English songs though,” she said, frowning at her playlist. “Do you want to play someone else’s playlist instead?”

 

“English songs are fine!” Jennie and Chaeyoung exclaimed excitedly.

 

“All right,” Minyoung said, hooking the phone up to her speakers as she started playing the music. Unsurprisingly, given the people who were currently at the party, it soon turned into a karaoke event.

 

Minyoung, who was at this point, too drunk to remember to be cautious, was belting out the lyrics to her favourite songs while holding her drink in the air and swaying where she sat. The guys weren’t surprised by her singing – after all, she’d been known as the powerhouse trainee while she’d been there, both because of her tireless work ethic and her incredible vocals – but Blackpink fell silent as Minyoung sang.

 

_Some day, when I'm awfully low_

_When the world is cold_

_I will feel a glow just thinking of you_

_And the way you look tonight_

_Yes, you're lovely, with your smile so warm_

_And your cheeks so soft_

_There is nothing for me but to love you_

_And the way you look tonight_

She swayed in time to the trumpet, then started singing again.

_With each word your tenderness grows_

_Tearin' my fear apart_

_And that laugh, wrinkles your nose_

_Touches my foolish heart_

As she sang the last line, she pounded on her chest lightly with her fist for emphasis.

 

_Lovely, never, never change_

_Keep that breathless charm_

_Won't you please arrange it?_

She threw her head back for the last two lines of the chorus.

 

_'Cause I love you_

_A-just the way you look tonight_

She caressed Jiyong and Seunghyun’s faces as she sang that last bit, since both of them were resting their heads on either shoulder, causing them to smile. Jiyong turned bashfully to bury his face in the soft fabric of her sweatshirt, and Seunghyun pulled on her sleeve, causing it to ride up and exposing her wrist.

 

Minyoung was just starting to sing the next verse when Jennie, apparently not drunk enough at that point, looked at her exposed wrist. “Unnie, you have a tattoo?” she asked curiously.

 

Minyoung immediately stopped singing and looked down at her wrist, which she belatedly realized was showing since Seunghyun had grabbed her sleeve. “Um, yeah,” she said, tugging the fabric out of his grip and shaking her arm so the sleeve fell back down.

 

Now intrigued, Seunghyun lifted his head off her shoulder and picked up her wrist, pulling the sleeve back. “Oh, you do have a tattoo,” he said with some surprise, rubbing at the soft skin with his thumb to make sure it was a real tattoo.

 

Jiyong turned his head to look as well, although his cheek remained on Minyoung’s shoulder. “I thought you said you’d never get a tattoo, Minyoung,” he half-mumbled.

 

Minyoung fidgeted uncomfortably. “What’s wrong with a tattoo? You and Youngbae-oppa both have tattoos.” In their drunken state, they forgot that they were in the presence of other people and started speaking to each other informally again. The four people involved in the bet looked at each other, smirking.

 

“You said you’d never get a tattoo back then, though,” Jiyong countered. “I remember when I got my first tattoo how horrified you were,” he said, chuckling at the memory.

 

Minyoung shrugged. “I found something I wanted to keep on my body forever.”

 

“What is it?” Seunghyun lifted her wrist to the light so he could squint at it better. It was two rows of Roman numerals, stylized with a clean, slender font.

 

“It’s my father’s birthday, to remember and honour him,” Minyoung said quietly, looking at the tattoo with a small smile. “I thought about getting his death anniversary tattooed instead, but I wanted to celebrate his life instead of his death.”

 

“How come we haven’t seen it before, though?” Lisa asked. Most ladies wore long-sleeved shirts to work, but she’d seen Minyoung so many times in tank tops and sports bras at the gym.

 

“My gloves cover it, or else I wear a watch to hide it,” Minyoung explained. “I’m not ashamed of my tattoo, but in Korea there’s still a stigma against women with tattoos and I didn’t want any judgement to cloud my work.”

 

Daesung leaned in to top off her drink. “I think it’s beautiful that you chose to commemorate your father in this way,” he said simply, and she smiled up at him in appreciation.

 

When the girls were more sober and thought back on the conversation they’d witnessed, they would realise that it was strange that Jiyong and Seunghyun were mentioning knowing Minyoung a long time ago, when to their knowledge they’d met just a couple of weeks ago. But for now, the three of them slumped together against the couch, asleep, and Daesung and Youngbae ushered the girls out of Minyoung’s apartment so that everyone could go home.


	6. Chapter 6

(Two months later)

 

The call came at four in the morning. Minyoung groped in the dark for her incessantly ringing phone, squinted against the blinding light to answer it, and, in true New York fashion, snarled down the line, “What?!” in English, of course.

 

“You need to come into the office now. It’s an emergency.”

 

Minyoung sat up in her bed. “What happened?” she asked in a more normal tone, switching to Korean.

 

“Hajoon got arrested two hours ago.”

 

“Shit,” Minyoung cursed in English, immediately pushing the covers back and standing up, shoving her feet into her cozy slippers. She picked up her glasses and put them on with one hand, the other still holding her phone to her ear. “I’ll be right there,” she said in Korean to Hajoon’s manager. “Text me the details. I’ll review them in the cab.”

 

She immediately went into the shower, turning it to cold to let the frigid water shock her into consciousness. “God fucking damn it,” she swore again as she shivered under the cold water, pumping shampoo into her hand.

 

Ten minutes later, she was dressed and ready to go, her wet hair slicked back into a bun so it wouldn’t drip on her clothes. She called the Uber as she put her shoes on, grabbing her keys from the hook by the door where they usually lived. Thankfully the Uber didn’t take long and she was speeding towards the office in another five minutes, reading the text Hajoon’s manager, Dongha had sent her. Apparently Hajoon, a seventeen-year-old freshly debuted actor, had been arrested for underage drinking. If that wasn’t bad enough, he’d then gotten belligerent with the police officer, having to be restrained forcefully and put in handcuffs. As the icing on the shit cake, paparazzi had conveniently been nearby to capture the whole thing.

 

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. All of the older marketing staff had told her about this – it was a baptism of fire of sorts for marketing executives in the Korean entertainment industry. Since celebrities inevitably did stupid shit, it fell to the other staff in their companies to do damage control for them, and it was often harder on said staff than the celebrities themselves. There would be cajoling entertainment magazines to censor or at least make the story sound less bad than it actually was, mild threats and reporting any social media posts, and coming up with a recovery or damage control strategy for the idol to follow.

 

Minyoung spent the rest of the day sitting at her desk answering emails, desperately trying to find out more information about the whole situation (which wasn’t easy, since the person who had firsthand information, Dongha, was busy himself bailing Hajoon out of jail and then taking care of the boy), emailing all her contacts in various news agencies and tabloids, and answering the deluge of emails coming her way. She didn’t leave her seat at all other than to use the restroom, her colleagues thankfully being nice enough to bring her coffee, water and food, which she consumed with a murmur of thanks without even looking up.

 

When the first article hit the Internet in the afternoon, Minyoung, exhausted by that point, put her face in her hands and sobbed for a moment after clicking on the link on Facebook.

 

Then she gathered her wits and continued reading the article, her lips pursed, so she could figure out just how to counter it. Her colleagues, who were keeping an eye on her in case she had a breakdown (which had happened before), just nodded and went back to their work. That looked about right.

 

Of course, news travelled fast and Big Bang, hanging out till the wee hours at a bar after finishing recording their comeback single earlier that day, were relaxing and laughing when they found out the news.

 

“Oh, shit. Hajoon got arrested,” Youngbae told the group, reading a message he’d gotten from his wife.

 

Daesung laughed. “That brat? It was only a matter of time.”

 

The four of them laughed and started reminiscing about the old days, back when they’d gotten into trouble consistently.

 

“Remember your weed scandal? Eunji-noona didn’t leave the office for days after that!” Youngbae snickered. “Whoever is in charge of Hajoon is not going to be having a good week.” They laughed again, knowing that this was par for the course for marketing executives who chose to work for talent agencies.

 

“Who’s in charge of Hajoon again?” Jiyong asked, still smiling.

 

Seunghyun frowned thoughtfully. “Wait, isn’t it Minyoung?” They stared at each other in shock as realization dawned on them. One second later, both their drinks had been slammed back onto the table and they were making a beeline for the door of the private room. They were struggling with each other to be the first one out when Daesung called out, “Where do you think you’re going?”

 

“To the office, what do you think?!” Seunghyun snapped over his shoulder.

 

“You’re both too drunk to drive; you need to sober up first,” Youngbae told them. “Sit down, I’ll call you an Uber,” he said, picking up his phone to do just that.

 

So it was that while Minyoung was still in the office, which was mostly dark now other than the one light above her desk and empty apart from her, Jiyong and Seunghyun were speeding home in their Ubers to chug water and get some much-needed sleep. Minyoung checked the time on her computer and sighed, rubbing her eyes. She regretted now putting her contacts in and not grabbing her glasses at least. Her eyes were really starting to hurt, and she was about to fall asleep.

 

Since it was three in the morning and there was a bit of a lull in the action, she decided to go and take a shower to freshen up, changing into the workout clothes that she always kept in her desk just in case. After the shower, feeling much better – or as good as she could feel, considering that she had been up for almost twenty-four hours now – she sat back down in her tank top and leggings, one leg folded in front of her so she was resting her chin on her knee as the other leg was crossed, leaning against the armrest of her desk chair.

 

It was six in the morning by the time Seunghyun managed to rouse himself. He blinked up at the darkness of his bedroom for a moment before sitting up, taking mental stock to determine whether he was still drunk or hungover. When the answer to both was no, courtesy of the massive amounts of water he’d drunk when he got home, he got up and quickly got ready, calling an Uber to take him to the bar to pick up his car from last night.

 

By seven, he was stalking into the YG building with a cup of coffee and a hotteok in hand for Minyoung. He’d texted Jiyong in the cab that he was on his way to check on her, so the younger man could sleep in a little.

 

Minyoung was blinking back tears at that point as she stared down her computer. A meeting had been scheduled for ten that morning with CEO Yang, Hajoon and his manager, and she was supposed to have a full proposal for how to deal with the initial media uproar and how he could rehabilitate his image. The emails from everywhere had started up again at five in the morning and in between answering them as best she could she was jotting down notes in English, which she still had to translate before she could present it later, but that was a problem for another time. It wasn’t just despair that was making her eyes water, it was her contacts which she swore to God were turning her eyes into dust in her eye sockets.

 

“Minyoung-ah, I got you some coffee and breakfast,” Seunghyun said, putting both items down on the desk.

 

Minyoung started, then looked up at him blearily. “Oh, hi oppa,” she rasped.

 

Seunghyun took a closer look at her. “God, you look like shit,” he commented. Normally, such a remark would have earned him an acerbic comeback and a light punch to the shoulder, but Minyoung just grimaced. “Thanks,” she said dryly, picking up the coffee and bending the plastic tab back on the lid so she could drink it.

 

She downed almost the whole thing in one go, ignoring the sensation of her tongue and throat being burned. “Thanks,” she said once more, more genuinely, in between gasps of air when she finally put the cup down. Seunghyun cringed as he watched her.

 

“Do you want me to go back to your apartment and get you some fresh clothes, your glasses… a hairbrush?” he offered.

 

Minyoung, her mouth full of hotteok, mumbled, “No, it’s okay, I’m fine,” looking down at her notebook. With one hand holding the hotteok and the other spinning her pen, dressed in a tank top and leggings, Seunghyun suddenly felt a rush of tenderness as he looked down at her. This is what she must have looked like in college, he thought. He could almost see the younger version of Minyoung he’d known before, studying for her GED tests in the Big Bang dorm or in a random meeting room she’d commandeered. It was sometimes difficult for him to reconcile the bold, flirtatious, take-no-prisoners woman with the sweet, innocent Minyoung he’d known years ago. Sure, there were some similarities, but her overall demeanor could be so different sometimes that it was only occasionally that he saw the Minyoung from back then peeking through. This was one of those moments.

 

“Come on, your eyes must be killing you, they’re completely bloodshot. And you can’t possibly go to see CEO Yang in what you’re wearing now,” Seunghyun pressed.

 

Minyoung shut her eyes against the truth of what he was saying, feeling the burn as tears gathered to alleviate the dryness. “Okay, fine,” she conceded, reaching for a Post-it to write down the code to her apartment lock. “Thank you,” she said with a soft smile.

 

Seunghyun wondered as he took the Post-it from her how even when she was so different now, clearly independent and able to fend for herself, he still felt the need to protect and coddle her. Not that she’d needed coddling even back then – one didn’t just move to a different continent, an ocean away from everyone she knew, at fourteen, if she needed coddling.

 

“No problem,” he smiled back at her, and then, to prevent himself from doing something stupid like kissing her, he patted her on the top of her head as if she was a child. “Minyoung fighting!” he encouraged her as he turned to leave.

 

Newly invigorated from the sweet breakfast and the caffeine, Minyoung made a fist in response as she turned back to her work with a smile. The marketing executive in charge of the drama Hajoon was currently working on had contacted her to let her know they were thinking of terminating and replacing Hajoon to protect their reputation, and Minyoung had to write a delicate response to persuade them not to, pointing out how much of a hassle it would be at this point to either refilm all his parts with someone else or rewrite the script to kill his character, while using YG’s brand name to insinuate that there would be repercussions if Hajoon was sacked.

 

She rolled her eyes as she sent the email. Really, Hajoon was such a little shit, getting caught drinking and, if that wasn’t bad enough, actually trying to fight a police officer. She would need to have words with his manager about controlling his charge – it made trouble for everyone when he acted out like this. Not only that, it was wholly obnoxious and unacceptable for him to start acting this way just because he’d tasted some fame.

 

Sighing, she went back to her notebook, writing down the last of Hajoon’s image rehabilitation plan. It was entirely in English, which was inconvenient because she had to translate it for the meeting, but she couldn’t brainstorm in Korean. Occupational hazard of working in a language that wasn’t her native language, she supposed.

 

It wasn’t too long before Seunghyun returned from her apartment with a change of clothes, some makeup and her glasses. By this time a few of her colleagues had started to trickle in, so when she took them from him with a grateful smile she made sure to speak and act formally around him, and not make it obvious that he’d been in her house.

 

“What time is the meeting?” he asked.

 

“Nine, so… half an hour left,” she said, checking the time on her phone.

 

“All right,” he said, resisting the urge to reach out and touch her again. “Fighting,” he said again and left.

 

Minyoung smiled after him, looking down to try and hide it, as she took the bag to the bathroom to get cleaned up for the meeting. She changed into the blouse and skirt that he’d brought, applied the tinted moisturizer, drew on her eyebrows and swiped her lip tint quickly over her lips. She took her hair out of the bun it had been in for over a day now and ran her fingers through her hair, trying to tame it into something neat and presentable. It curled messily but she managed somehow to fix it so it wasn’t falling into her face, and loosened the curls so they looked more sexy and beachy than homeless.

 

When she was done, she went back to her desk to put her things back and grab the materials she needed for the meeting. As she walked out of the office to head to the meeting room, some colleagues called after her, “Fighting, Minyoung-ssi!”

 

“Thank you,” she said, turning back to bow slightly at the office in general as she opened the door to leave the office.

 

As she got into the elevator to go to the sixth floor, she checked her watch. Eight-fifty; ten minutes to spare. She entered the room, thanking her lucky stars that she was the first, and got busy hooking up her laptop to the projector so she could show her hastily put together slideshow. Better a half-assed visual aid than none, she supposed, especially when pitching something to CEO Yang.

 

She bit her lip as she pulled up the file on her laptop. As hard as she tried, she just couldn’t shake the awkward feeling she got around him. Whenever she saw him, her mind flashed back to the phone conversation she’d had with him thirteen years ago, and she couldn’t stop cringing when she thought about it. She hoped Hajoon and his manager came in before CEO Yang did, so she wouldn’t have to make small talk with the older man.

 

Thankfully, luck was on her side and right before nine, the door opened and Hajoon walked in with his head bowed, pushed along by his manager. He was wearing baggy clothes, a mask over his face and a bucket hat. “Minyoung-noona,” he mumbled in greeting at her as she arched a brow at him.

 

“Hajoon-ah,” she acknowledged. “Dongha-oppa,” she said to the manager behind him.

 

“Minyoung,” the older man nodded at her with an apologetic grimace. “Hajoon,” he prompted the boy, nudging his back.

 

“Minyoung-noona, I’m sorry for all this trouble,” he said to her, eyes still downcast. Inexplicably, Minyoung felt her heart squeeze with fondness for him. She knew she should be furious at him – after all, he’d broken the law, made a fool of himself and was the reason why she’d been in the office for about thirty hours now. “I promise it won’t happen again,” he continued.

 

Minyoung quirked the left side of her mouth up in a half-smile. “Better not go making any promises you can’t keep there, Hajoon-ah,” she cautioned. “Why don’t you take a seat, sweetie, you look tired. Don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of everything.”

 

Just as they’d both gotten settled, CEO Yang himself came in, and Hajoon and Dongha both stood to greet him. Minyoung, already standing near the front of the room, just bowed from where she was standing. “CEO Yang,” she greeted.

 

“Ah, Minyoung-ah,” he said, nodding at her as he moved to sit down. “Why don’t you run us through what you have, and then I’ll have a word with Hajoon.”

 

“Yes, sir,” she said, turning to the screen as she began her presentation.

 

Twenty minutes later, she was concluding her pitch. CEO Yang was nodding and taking notes, and she knew she was going to be bombarded with questions and comments as they hashed out what Hajoon would have to do to earn forgiveness in the eyes of the public. She was right; they spent the next hour going over every point in her strategy with a fine-toothed comb, making changes here and there and ensuring that the timing and details of the plan were precise.

 

Finally, Minyoung was dismissed from the meeting and she gathered her things and hightailed it out of the room. It was always awkward around CEO Yang, and on top of that, she didn’t want to be around when he tore Hajoon a new one. She could hear him start yelling as she waited for the elevator to bring her back down to her office, and cringed.

 

When she got back to her desk, she finally removed her contacts and put on the glasses that Seunghyun had been nice enough to pick up from her apartment, and cracked her neck as she got back to work.

 

By the time it looked like things were settling down and all the damage control that could be done at this point had been done, the sun had long set and Minyoung was, for the second night in a row, alone in the office. At a little past nine in the evening, the four members of Big Bang came into the office where she was working and stood in front of her desk.

 

“Hi guys,” she said, slurring slightly from how tired she was. “What’s up?” she asked in English.

 

“Have you had dinner?” Seunghyun got straight to the point.

 

Minyoung frowned. “I don’t… think so,” she said, trying to recall what she’d last eaten and when. For the past few days she’d basically been eating and drinking whatever her colleagues put in front of her.

 

“Get up, we’re going to get dinner, and then you’re going to get some sleep,” Jiyong ordered.

 

Minyoung blinked up at him for a moment. If she was less tired, she would have objected to him telling her what to do in that imperious tone, but right now what he was telling her to do sounded excellent anyway, so she just nodded slowly and started to get up. “Let’s go, then,” she said with a giant yawn, shoving her things carelessly into her handbag, unlike the usual way she put things into their proper place.

 

“Good work today, Minyoung,” Taeyang praised her, patting her on the back as she came around the desk to join them. “You worked really hard getting Hajoon out of trouble.”

 

She tried to smile, although it was overtaken by another yawn. “Thank you, Youngbae-oppa,” she murmured tiredly, her shoulders slumping as they walked towards the door. “What are we having for dinner?”

 

Jiyong looked at her. “From the looks of it you’re not up to much, so we’ll probably just stop at a market and get some food for you,” he said, draping an arm over her shoulders to give her a little squeeze.

 

Hardly in any mood to argue, Minyoung just nodded, leaning against the older man. “Okay, thank you, oppa,” she said tiredly.

 

In the carpark, the five of them squeezed into one of Jiyong’s cars. He and Youngbae sat in front while Minyoung sat between Daesung and Seunghyun. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but Minyoung found herself dozing off anyway the moment her body hit the seat, and before they’d even left the carpark she was fast asleep against Seunghyun’s shoulder.

 

“Yo, she’s out cold,” he informed the group as he wrapped his arm around her so that she could lean more comfortably on him, stroking her hair soothingly as she rubbed her face on his shirt.

 

“Shit,” Jiyong said as he looked in the rearview mirror, jealousy raging through him for an instance as he saw the way she was cuddled up so cozily with Seunghyun. He wished he could have sat at the back with her, but he had to drive. “I guess we’ll go to her place, then. I don’t want to wake her up now.”

 

So they detoured to her apartment, where Seunghyun carried the still-unconscious Minyoung up to her apartment and laid her on the bed. They turned off the lights in the apartment and left only the kitchen lights on, sitting around the couch with their backs facing the bed area as they chatted quietly.

 

Minyoung rose once, unaware that there were other people in her apartment, and went straight to the closet to change out of her office clothes and into an oversized T-shirt she’d gotten from college then collapsing right back into her bed.

 

When she finally woke up properly, about four hours had passed and she was ravenous. She went straight for the kitchen, rummaging in the cabinet under her sink for her stash of Cheerios that her mother had sent her from the States. Korean cereals were amazing and all, but sometimes comfort food was necessary. Hearing a choking sound coming from behind her as she was on her hands and knees half in the cabinet, she jerked up, hitting her head on the top of the cabinet by accident.

 

“Ow!” she exclaimed, rubbing the sore spot with one hand as she held the Cheerios in the other. She looked back to see the Big Bang members all sitting on her couch. The noise had come from Jiyong, although both he and Seunghyun were wearing the same slack expression. Daesung and Youngbae were studiously not making eye contact with her.

 

She blinked at them for a moment blankly, then – “Motherfucker,” she swore as she dropped the Cheerios on the ground and ran for her closet to put some pants on. She emerged from her closet a minute later, red-faced, having pulled a pair of pajamas shorts from her drawers. “Sorry,” she coughed as she went back to the kitchen to pick up her discarded Cheerios. She brought them to the couch and squeezed between Seunghyun and Jiyong as she opened the box and pulled out the giant bag, opening it and thrusting her hand in with gusto.

 

“You should really eat a proper meal,” Seunghyun chastised as she ate a handful of Cheerios.

 

“I’m too tired to cook, and I’m hungry now,” Minyoung defended with her mouth full. “Besides, I deserve a treat.” She held a Cheerio in front of Jiyong’s mouth and he ate it from her hand. “It’s good, right?” she said to him, smiling. He nodded, crunching on it before he reached into the bag for a handful of his own. She tilted the bag towards him to make it easier for him to grab the cereal.

 

“You guys wanna try?” she asked, shaking the bag out towards Youngbae and Daesung. They both tried it, making noises of appreciation as they did so.

 

“Guys…” Seunghyun sighed. “We should order some food, at least. You can’t just eat this cereal.”

 

Minyoung rolled her eyes. “Just try it,” she said, shaking the bag enticingly at him. “One piece.”

 

“Fine,” he gave in and grabbed a piece from the bag. Minyoung rolled her eyes – who ate Cheerios like that? She supposed she couldn’t complain though, since they’d all stuck around seemingly to have dinner with her (well, more like supper at this hour) and check up on her. She couldn’t be sure, being so overwhelmed and tired by then, but the second day she’d been at the office she thought all of them had taken turns coming to bring her snacks or drinks.

 

Soon enough, all of them were huddled around the coffee table eating, her dining table being too small for all five of them to fit around it. Minyoung had requested fried chicken, so they’d gotten it, although all the guys had groaned at the thought of how much they’d have to work out to burn off the calories after such a sinful meal.

 

“For someone who exercises so much you sure eat a lot of junk food,” Youngbae commented. He was the most intimately familiar with the struggle between looking good and eating the food he liked, given his penchant for street food.

 

Minyoung shrugged. “I don’t work out to look a certain way; I just like to exercise.”

 

Jiyong scoffed. “Since when?” All of them remembered how much Minyoung had whined and complained when she was put on that strict fitness regimen as a trainee. She’d despised every form of exercise she’d tried, doing it solely because she had to, and incredibly unwillingly at that.

 

Minyoung shrugged. “I think I got back into exercise… in my mid-twenties? I hadn’t really worked out after I left my part-time job as a dance instructor. It was actually really beneficial in helping me control my anxiety, and got me out of a pretty bad spiral.”

 

Hearing Minyoung confess so easily to having anxiety and depression was shocking to the guys, since they’d gotten so used to hiding it. Seunghyun in particular, who struggled with both, was both impressed and surprised at her candor. “What do you mean, spiral?” he asked.

 

She furrowed her brow. “Hmm… my early twenties were pretty bad. I was working through all the trauma of what happened – pretty belatedly, I know, but back when every day was just a struggle to keep a roof over my family’s head, it wasn’t like I had a lot of time to reflect on my emotions and stuff, y’know. When I graduated from college and got a better job, it paradoxically made things worse up here,” she said, tapping her temple. “Having the time and energy to stew over the injustice of it all. And, of course, back then I was a stupid shit so I did not deal with it all in the most healthy way.”

 

Seeing how quiet everyone got after what she’d said, she cleared her throat awkwardly, chastising herself inwardly for talking about such a heavy topic and bringing down the mood. It wasn’t like she was ashamed of her mental struggles, but it wasn’t really fried chicken conversation. “Anyway,” she said with false brightness, “Long story short, I don’t exercise because I want to look a certain way, so if I want to eat fried chicken I just eat it. Perks of not being an idol, I guess,” she cackled.

 

“That’s fair,” Youngbae conceded, although he looked at the growing pile of bones in front of Minyoung with some jealousy.

 

“Aww, don’t be like that, oppa,” she teased. “Have more beer,” she said, awkwardly topping up his drink from the bottle since her hands were dirty, then topping off her own drink.

 

Jiyong smiled at her fondly. It appeared some things didn’t change, and her weakness for fried chicken was one of them. “Here, have more,” he said, grabbing a few more pieces from the pile to add to her plate.

 

“Thank you, oppa,” she said graciously, smiling at him cutely. His heart squeezed in response, and he grabbed the beer in front of him and took a deep swig to hide how he was suddenly flustered. From the way his band members smirked at him over Minyoung’s head as she looked down to tear into her chicken, he didn’t think he’d been that successful.


	7. Chapter 7

Once in a while, the YG artist family makes a trip to another country together. It’s usually to film music videos, and multiple groups and artists will go together, with all the makeup artists and other necessary staff.

 

This year, the trip was to New York, Minyoung’s hometown. They found out about it about a month before the trip was actually supposed to take place, and while Minyoung graciously congratulated everyone who was going and took on the additional workload of planning the social media posts for the massive music video shoot, she whined about it in private. The guys had tried to figure out a way to have Minyoung come on the trip with them, but CEO Yang had stood firm – marketing staff as a rule did not go for shooting trips.

 

“I know, I wish I could too! I miss you guys so much,” Minyoung was talking to her friend from New York via Skype, sitting on the floor in front of her coffee table while stretching out from her jog. She made an apologetic gesture at Seunghyun, who was sitting across from her. He wasn’t supposed to be this early; they’d made plans for lunch and he’d offered to pick her up on their way to meet the others, but he’d decided to drop in about an hour before they’d arranged to meet. This wasn’t necessarily out of the ordinary since he often dropped by if he knew she was going to be home to chat, especially since they lived fairly near each other, but he’d caught her today as she was getting back from her run and she’d had a Skype call with a friend from the States set up.

 

He shrugged and smiled at her. It was a little creepy to admit, but sometimes he came over because he just liked being with her and watching her do her own thing. He’d once made idle chitchat with her while she cooked dinner after giving her a ride home, and then she’d fed him too. He’d crowed to Jiyong for days after that.

 

“Girl, you need to come back to New York to visit soon! Your mom misses you,” the person on the call said dramatically.

 

Minyoung groaned as she switched legs. “I know, she keeps telling me! I call her all the time and I really miss her too, but plane tickets are expensive and with my workload now the way it is I can hardly take the time off. I’ll be back as soon as I can, I promise.” She adjusted her laptop so she could see her friend better. “Thank you for always checking up on her for me, Ally. You’re a good friend.”

 

“No problem Min, I love your mom. She always feeds me when I go to visit her.”

 

Minyoung sighed. “Man, I miss my mom’s cooking. I’ll try to come back for a visit soon, I promise.”

 

“You better, girl! It’s not the same in New York without you!”

 

With a smile, Minyoung disconnected the call. She was still smiling as she looked up at Seunghyun, sitting on the couch casually, looking for all the world like this was his apartment. “Sorry, oppa,” she apologized.

 

He smiled back at her, his dimples making her heart skip a beat for reasons that had nothing to do with the run she’d just completed. “No problem, Minyoung,” he excused graciously. “I showed up uninvited, after all.”

 

She beamed back at him. “You’re always welcome at my humble abode, oppa.” Then she got up to shower and get ready, leaving Seunghyun to stew over what she could have meant by that last statement and try not to imagine her naked in the shower – a battle that he was unfortunately losing. It was strange and slightly uncomfortable for him to be attracted to her in this way when he was used to thinking of her as more of a little sister he had to look out for. To some extent he still thought of her that way, but sometimes when he showed up at her office and saw her frowning over whatever she was working on, he wanted to bend her over her desk as much as he wanted to smooth the furrow out of her brow and bring her a warm drink.

 

He sighed and let his head fall back against the couch. God, this was such a mess. He’d started flirting with her before he realized who she was and he could swear she’d been flirting back with him, but once he knew who she was, she’d seemed to regress to treating them all as big brothers like she had back then, and the flirting had basically ceased. This was somehow worse though, because back then she’d been handsy as all hell, having grown up in America where he supposed they expressed affection through physical touch, and she’d started doing it again. Only now when she touched his arm or hugged him hello or goodbye, he found himself wanting more, when previously he’d just indulged her because it was her culture.

 

He was still thinking about it when the bathroom door opened, and the scent of grapefruit drifted out. It was Minyoung’s favourite body wash, and oh, it was sweet torture when he leaned in to hug her and smelled it on her skin. It was so tempting every time to just bury his face in the crook between her neck and shoulder and inhale. He’d never given in to the temptation though, at least not sober.

 

He turned to watch Minyoung, rubbing her towel over her head, walk out of the bathroom and go to her dresser. Now that they knew about her tattoo, she’d given up hiding it when it was just them, and she was dressed in a positively sinful little dress that made him grit his teeth. It was white and practically backless, with the spaghetti straps criss-crossing through the back leaving most of her back bare.

 

“That’s a cute dress,” he heard himself saying as if from a distance.

 

“Thank you,” she said, smiling at his reflection in the mirror. As she started blow-drying her hair, the conversation stopped since neither of them could hear each other, allowing Seunghyun the time to simply watch the muscles in her arms and back move as she dried her hair. When she was done, she quickly did her makeup and put on her accessories, then grabbed the small handbag she’d laid out for the day.

 

“Let’s go, oppa,” she said as she stood by the door pulling on her cute sandals – that she’d gotten from Target, no less. She smiled at them as she put them on, the satisfaction from finding such cute sandals for such a good price surging through her again. Popping her sunglasses onto the top of her head, she opened the door as he came up behind her, resisting the bizarre urge to rest a hand on her waist possessively, as if she was his girlfriend.

 

You need to stop, he ordered himself, knowing it was futile. Feeling heat prickling under his collar both from the warm sunny day and his erstwhile thoughts, he ran his hand over the back of his neck as they walked down the stairs to get to his car. They were going to Youngbae’s house to have an outdoors brunch in his backyard since it was finally getting warm, and it was Minyoung’s first time meeting his wife. He wondered if she was nervous about it. She really didn’t need to be; Eunran was an angel.

 

“How much does Eunran-ssi know about me?” Minyoung asked curiously as they drove towards Youngbae’s house.

 

“Know about you?” Seunghyun echoed, not really following.

 

“You know, does she think I’m some random stray you guys picked up, does she know I used to be a trainee, does she know I’ve spent the past decade or so drowning in debt… basic stuff like that,” Minyoung elaborated.

 

“Drowning in debt…” Seunghyun said slightly disbelievingly. He didn’t know why he still bothered, but he was always surprised by how candid Minyoung could be about her past. She’d hidden it from them at first, but now that they knew she referenced it in a blasé manner as if it really wasn’t a big deal. He supposed it wasn’t, to her. Living with something for thirteen years tended to make it seem like just a normal aspect of life. “Well, I can’t say I’m sure, but Youngbae and his wife are quite open with each other, so I’d operate on the assumption that she knows everything if I were you.”

 

“All right, that works,” Minyoung said agreeably, leaning back into the plush seat. Watching him drive, she bit her lip as she resisted the urge to take one of his hands. It was an unfortunate kink of hers, watching men drive, although thankfully no one in Korea knew, otherwise she had a feeling that trips out with Big Bang would become a lot more awkward, since Jiyong or Seunghyun usually drove her.

 

“Hey, I’m sorry about New York,” Seunghyun said suddenly. “I heard you tell your friend that you really wanted to go back, and I’m sorry we couldn’t figure out how to have you come along with us.”

 

Minyoung blinked, surprised. “Oh, it’s fine, really,” she said. “To be honest, I didn’t really expect that you would be able to get away with it. I’ll probably take a couple of weeks off after the preparation for your comeback tour is done to go home for a visit.”

 

He hummed. “What do you miss about New York?” he asked.

 

“Mm, apart from my family and friends… I miss breakfast bagels,” she confessed in a breathy voice. “I miss the way the guy down the block from my apartment would always flirt with me when I went to get my breakfast from him,” she said with a chuckle, “and I miss Broadway, God do I miss Broadway. You have to see a show while you’re there, and you can do it the fancy way, too, booking tickets in advance and all that. I used to rush all the time when I lived in New York. I miss the subways running day and night, although I do not miss the rats everywhere,” she added with a grimace.

 

“Ah, you’re going to have so much fun! Eat lots of bagels and – oh, it’s summer now, try to go to Smorgasburg! Although I’m not sure if it’ll be too crowded for you guys, people might recognize you.” She frowned. “The view of Manhattan from the East River State Park is so beautiful, though. I’ll show you pictures later.”

 

He smiled fondly at her, turning his head halfway so he could still see the road in front of him. “Okay,” he agreed.

 

Before long they pulled into the large driveway of Youngbae’s house and got out, Minyoung sliding her sunglasses onto her face to block the glare from the sun as they commenced the small trek up to the actual house. The marital home the couple had chosen was so large it was borderline ridiculous, although remembering how much he’d wanted a big family even as a teenager she could understand why they’d chosen it. She couldn’t help smiling softly at the mansion as she thought about how Youngbae and his lovely wife were going to populate it with children.

 

“Hyung, Minyoung-ah, so glad you could make it!” Youngbae exclaimed as he threw open his door, his wife at his side. Seunghyun greeted them first, then Minyoung, shaking hands with Eunran as she introduced herself.

 

Eunran smiled at her. “It’s so good to meet you! Youngbae’s told me so much about you, and I was so excited.”

 

Minyoung laughed slightly nervously. “Wow, he has? I’m afraid to know what Youngbae-oppa has said about me,” she responded, only half joking.

 

“No, don’t be! It’s all good things, I promise,” Eunran responded. “Come in, please! In your honour we prepared a real American brunch, chicken and waffles with mimosas!”

 

Hearing that, Minyoung pretty much doubled over in laughter. “Chicken and waffles!? That’s American, all right! Thank you so much,” she said, squeezing Eunran’s hand before they linked arms and walked towards the backyward where everything was set up.

 

Youngbae and Seunghyun were left staring after the two women. “What just happened?” Seunghyun asked, still having trouble processing it.

 

“I think we may have unleashed a force the world wasn’t ready for,” Youngbae murmured, wandering after his wife.

 

Jiyong and Daesung were already seated, although both stood up to greet the new arrivals as they came in.

 

“Jiyong-oppa, Daesung-oppa,” Minyoung greeted, going to hug them both and kissing Jiyong on the cheek too. She’d been unsure at first about whether she should continue treating them with the physical affection she’d lavished upon them when they were teenagers (what? She’d been new to Korea and very touch-starved at the time!) but they seemed to encourage and enjoy it, so she didn’t restrain herself.

 

“Minyoung-ah, it’s nice to see you,” Daesung greeted her, his perennial smile on his face. Jiyong echoed the sentiment, but couldn’t stop staring at the hand that had touched her bare back, as insipid as it sounded.

 

As Seunghyun walked in with Youngbae behind MInyoung and Eunran, Jiyong and Daesung greeted him too. “Hyung, nice to see you.” He nodded at them in acknowledgement.

 

Brunch flew by, the time eased by the jug of mimosa that seemed to never empty out placed in the middle of the table. Minyoung was kept busy ensuring that no one’s glasses ran empty, something she was all too glad to do. After they’d finished eating, Jiyong and Seunghyun went around the house to smoke, while the others continued sitting and chatting.

 

When they came back, they were surprised to find the group lounging in more comfortable positions, laughing uproariously. Minyoung was the picture of nonchalance, her legs draped over the armrest of her chair, her champagne glass dangling from her fingers as she covered her face with her other hand, she was laughing so hard.

 

“What’s going on here?” Jiyong asked, going back to his seat next to Minyoung. She tilted her neck to squint up at him, and he slid the sunglasses off the top of her head and over her face so she could look up more comfortably.

 

“Jiyong-oppa, we were just talking about our most shameful walks of shame,” Minyoung said, still giggling a little. “I think I have the strangest one, though.”

 

Jiyong looked confused. “Walk of shame?”

 

Minyoung frowned a little. “I don’t know if there’s a slang equivalent in Korean. Like, when you hook up with someone and then have to go home the next morning?”

 

Now both Jiyong and Seunghyun were towering over her, blocking the sunlight. Minyoung popped her glasses back onto the top of her head. “Hook up?” they asked menacingly.

 

Minyoung rolled her eyes. “I’m twenty-nine years old, Jiyong-oppa, Seunghyun-oppa. Don’t tell me neither of you ever had a one-night stand.”

 

Their eyes met over her head. They couldn’t deny the logic of what she’d pointed out, but it still rubbed them the wrong way. “Okay,” Seunghyun said grudgingly as he sat back down in his seat, Jiyong following suit on Minyoung’s other side.

 

Minyoung reached out to stroke Jiyong’s hair, now fluffy and frizzy because of the bleaching he’d recently done in preparation for the comeback. “Anyway,” she continued, “New York’s subways run day and night, which is great for getting home after a hookup without having to call an Uber, which is expensive, but five am on the subway is prime time for crazies,” she explained, cackling. The others started laughing too, so Jiyong and Seunghyun assumed that it was because of the story she’d just told.

 

“So, this was shortly after I moved out of the Bronx and started living in Brooklyn because it was closer to my office. The Bronx was more convenient for the rest of my family, though, so I rented a room in an apartment. I had three roommates, and one of them was new – like, I moved in before him, and he refused to ever let any of us even see inside his room, real secretive guy. I went to a club near my neighbourhood and got wasted, like blackout drunk, on drinks that guys kept buying me, and went home with this one guy. Barely remember the sex, but what I do remember is waking up at around six, in what I have to say was the creepiest room I’d ever been in. Like, I thought I was still drunk, it was that weird. I’m talking sex dolls propped up in a row against one wall, the entire room wallpapered in black and blacklights installed, the whole shtick.

 

“So at this point I was like, what’s even happening here, I need to get out of this place before he murders me and cuts my skin off with the knives and surgical equipment in the glass case that he literally uses as a bedside table, so I’m like, gathering all my things, and I didn’t even bother to hunt for my underwear, I was that freaked out. Leave the room, and – I wind up in my own living room! My hookup had been my new roommate, and I hadn’t even noticed, I was so out of it the night before,” she explained, laughing.

 

“God, that made for some awkward breakfasts after, especially when I knew what his secretive room looked like,” she said, making a face. “What a way to get to know my roommate better, though, right?” she said with a sunny smile that was completely incongruous with the story she’d just told.

 

Jiyong looked murderous, although no one could tell whether it was because she’d hooked up with someone else or because of the dangerous situation she’d put herself in. “Anyway, he turned out to be a pretty cool dude, sex dolls aside, and we just never talked about the hookup ever,” she concluded. “I still don’t know how he managed to transform the room without any of us knowing what was happening, but I guess he figured it out,” she said with a shrug.

 

Eunran snorted with laughter. “I can’t believe how nonchalant you are about having sex with a guy who owned _multiple sex dolls_ ,” she managed to get out.

 

“It’s New York, I guess. Nothing really fazes anyone there.” Minyoung drained her glass, then dropped her legs to the ground so she could grab the jug from the table, but Seunghyun beat her to it, pouring the mimosa into the glass she held out for him. “Thank you, oppa,” she fairly sang.

 

“You should watch it,” he cautioned. “How many have you had?”

 

She shrugged. “Who’s counting? I’m sober enough to call an Uber home, so it’s all good.”

 

Daesung, who could see Seunghyun starting to work himself into a tirade about how girls shouldn’t drink that much, which would definitely start a fight with Minyoung (this had happened multiple times before, enough for them all to recognize the pattern), immediately intervened. “Why don’t we go back inside?” he suggested.

 

Youngbae and Jiyong gave him grateful glances, aware of how explosive Minyoung’s anger could be when challenged about ‘ladylike’ behaviours. It appeared that she’d brought more of New York back with her this time than she had the last time. They still remembered the fight that had been started when Seunghyun told her she shouldn’t swear. First she’d just looked stunned then said, “But you were the one who taught me how to swear in Korean, Seunghyun-oppa,” with that cute confused furrow in her brow. When he’d explained that he’d only taught her because of the cute face she’d made every time he taught her and that she wouldn’t find a husband if she kept talking like that, it was only Jiyong’s quick actions that prevented her from lunging at him, which meant he’d basically grabbed her in the nick of time.

 

As they walked in, Minyoung noticed the baby grand that she hadn’t seen as they were walking through the house the first time. “Oh, wow, this piano is gorgeous,” she gushed, immediately walking over to look more closely at it.

 

“You can play it if you’d like,” Youngbae immediately offered.

 

Minyoung sat down in front of the piano and began tinkering. “I haven’t played a piano in years, probably,” she sighed happily as her fingers seemed to find a home. She soon began playing the opening chords to one of her favourite songs, If I Ain’t Got You by Alicia Keys, humming along as she looked down at the keyboard.

 

“Oh, I love this song,” Eunran said with a small smile, going to sit next to Minyoung. Minyoung smiled back as she continued playing, beginning to sing.

 

_Some people live for the fortune_

_Some people live just for the fame_

_Some people live for the power, yeah_

_Some people live just to play the game_

 

Minyoung paused so that Eunran could sing the next verse, which she did in her accented English.

 

_Some people think that the physical things define what's within_

_And I've been there before_ , _and that life's a bore_

_So full of the superficial_

 

As Eunran sang, she looked back at her husband and smiled tenderly, the two of them sharing a sweet moment.

 

_Some people want it all_

_But I don't want nothing at all_

_If it ain't you baby_

_If I ain't got you baby_

_Some people want diamond rings_

_Some just want everything_

_But everything means nothing_

_If I ain't got you, yeah_

 

“She has very good vocal control for how drunk she is,” Daesung remarked softly to Jiyong, who just nodded, only half-listening to the other man as he was fully absorbed in Minyoung’s singing.

 

_Some people search for a fountain_

_That promises forever young_

_Some people need three dozen roses_

_And that's the only way to prove you love them_

_Hand me the world on a silver platter_

_And what good would it be_

_With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me_

 

Eunran held her hand out to Youngbae, who walked over and took it as the two of them sang together, Minyoung continuing to play the accompaniment for them.

 

_Some people want it all_

_But I don't want nothing at all_

_If it ain't you baby_

_If I ain't got you baby_

_Some people want diamond rings_

_Some just want everything_

_But everything means nothing_

_If I ain't got you_

 

Youngbae then pulled gently on Eunran’s hand so she stood up and they began slow dancing as Minyoung took over for the last verse, her voice rising effortlessly to match the song.

 

_Some people want it all_

_But I don't want nothing at all_

_If it ain't you baby_

_If I ain't got you baby_

_Some people want diamond rings_

_Some just want everything_

_But everything means nothing_

_If I ain't got you, yeah_

_If I ain't got you with me baby_

_So nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing_

_If I ain't got you with me baby_

As she played the closing notes to the song, she looked down with a small smile and Youngbae and Eunran shared a kiss.

 

“Your performances are just as good as ever, Minyoung,” Daesung complimented her, walking over to rest his elbows on the piano as he leaned in.

 

Minyoung smiled up at him. “Thank you, Daesung-oppa,” she said. “I don’t really perform for people these days, but I’ll sing for Big Bang anytime you like.”

 

Even though she’d meant it in an innocent way, Jiyong immediately started thinking about how he could make her sing for him anytime. His slightly slack expression was not lost on Seunghyun, who slapped the back of his head lightly then went to stand behind Minyoung, putting his hands on her shoulders. She automatically leaned back into his touch, looking up at him and squeezing his hand on her shoulder.

 

“You’re so talented, Minyoung-ah,” Jiyong complimented, going to sit next to her in the spot that Eunran had vacated. “You would have made a great idol.” Then he asked the question that they’d all been curious about for ages now, almost since the moment she’d told them the truth about her past. “How come you didn’t debut back then? Wouldn’t it have been easier to pay off your debt as an idol? You would definitely have been successful since you were signed with YG.”

 

Minyoung shrugged, still leaning against Seunghyun. “I did ask about it,” she admitted. “I called CEO Yang from the States when I realized how much debt my family was in and begged him to let me debut ASAP so I could pay off the debts more easily. He told me he had no intention of debuting me within the next year or so, which was really all the time I had to put off making regular payments, so I had no choice but to leave.”

 

They frowned. CEO Yang could be strict and ruthless, but that didn’t make sense. He’d seemed to like Minyoung a lot, always going on about how talented she was – to everyone but the girl herself, of course. Why wouldn’t he help her out?

 

“That was kind of a dick move on his part,” Daesung said.

 

“Well, it’s his prerogative,” Minyoung responded with studied nonchalance. “He insisted that I wasn’t ready, and I guess I wasn’t.”

 

“Still…” Jiyong said, frowning.

 

Minyoung reached over to squeeze his knee with the hand that wasn’t currently resting on Seunghyun’s. “It’s okay, really,” she said, although she couldn’t quite mask the old sadness in her eyes. “I found my way back eventually, and I like the way my life is now. That’s the most important thing.”

 

Put that way, they had no reason to disagree. Still holding Seunghyun’s hand, Minyoung leaned over to rest her head on Jiyong’s shoulder. “It means a lot to me that you’d get mad on my behalf though, oppa,” she said teasingly, threading her arm through his.

 

He turned to look at her. “I would set the world on fire for you,” he promised. She laughed like it was a joke, but he was serious, and as he looked up at Seunghyun, he knew he wasn’t the only one who would do something like that.


	8. Chapter 8

It was a busy day at the office. The work was piling up on Minyoung’s desk, and her brow seemed to arch higher every time someone walked past and dumped a folder on her growing pile. She was working as quickly as she could, but the work was starting to give her anxiety, especially since it all had to be completed in the next few days before the artists left for the States.

 

So she wasn’t particularly pleased when she was summoned to CEO Yang’s office by his personal assistant. Well, she wouldn’t have enjoyed it anyway, since she was still awkward about him (a less charitable person might say she carried a grudge against him for refusing to let her debut) but it was especially bad timing that day. Still, one didn’t just tell the CEO to fuck off, so she immediately went up to his office.

 

“CEO Yang, good afternoon,” she greeted with a deep bow, hands folded in front of her when the personal assistant opened the door to his office.

 

“Ah, Minyoung-ah, good afternoon,” CEO Yang said, waving her in from his seat behind his desk.

 

Minyoung walked in hesitantly, hovering near the desk until he gestured at her to sit, then she sat lightly on one of the chairs he had facing the desk, her back ramrod straight and legs crossed, hands folded in her lap as she resisted the urge to fidget. “What did you want to see me about, CEO Yang?” she asked.

 

“Yes, well, I heard from multiple sources that you would have liked to go to New York with the team,” he started.

 

Minyoung flushed. “Well, I mean…” she floundered. God damn Jiyong and his big mouth, because she knew he was the one who’d let it slip to CEO Yang. How embarrassing.

 

“Well, you can’t come on the trip with the artists, but I do have an errand that I need someone to run for me in New York, and I think it’ll be right up your alley,” CEO Yang continued.

 

“Oh? What do you need me to do?” Minyoung asked, leaning forward curiously.

 

Fifteen minutes later, Minyoung was leaving CEO Yang’s office with a new task and a one-week vacation in New York, and she was ecstatic about it, even though she couldn’t tell anyone where she was going and why. Well, she supposed he hadn’t banned it, it was just easier to say nothing since it was a delicate matter.

 

Whatever, it didn’t matter! New York!

 

At the same time, elsewhere in the YG Headquarters another type of meeting was taking place. Hajoon was walking past a row of meeting rooms when he was cornered, an imposing figure crowding him into one of the meeting rooms against his will.

 

Disoriented at first, it wasn’t until he was backed into a chair and sat down with a thump that he realized who’d gotten up in his space. “Oh… GD-hyung,” he greeted, slightly confused about what was happening. G-Dragon was legendary among the younger artists in YG, of course, since he’d been the childhood crush of many of them, especially the girls. But since he was an idol and Hajoon was primarily an actor, they’d never had much reason to interact other than for YG events.

 

“Hajoon-ah, I heard you recently made life very difficult for Minyoung-ssi over in marketing,” Jiyong started in an ominous tone.

 

Hajoon hesitated. He’d heard the rumours about how close Minyoung had gotten to Big Bang, of course, but he hadn’t thought much about it at the time, since he’d been otherwise occupied for a while.

 

Seunghyun, from behind Hajoon, piped up in a mild tone that disguised a dangerous current of anger. “That doesn’t make us very happy.”

 

Hajoon gulped. He was in some trouble. “I’m sorry!” he cried. “I was wrong.” Then he tried to defend himself. “None of us are perfect! All of the artists have some scandals.”

 

Jiyong’s eyes narrowed. Who did this punk think he was, talking back?

 

“Regardless, you will behave from now on,” Seunghyun cut in acidly.

 

“Why are you doing this to me?!” Hajoon exclaimed, all bluster all of a sudden. “It’s not like you guys have been perfect; Big Bang members have had some of the biggest scandals in this company!”

 

Jiyong’s and Seunghyun’s gazes met over Hajoon’s head. No one dared to talk about that, especially not around the band members themselves. Jiyong leaned in furiously. “If I ever hear again that you’ve made Minyoung’s life difficult, your career will be over. Do you understand me?”

 

Hajoon shrank back into his seat. “Yes, hyung,” he said miserably.

 

Satisfied, Jiyong stalked out of the meeting room. Seunghyun stood up to leave, but not before telling Hajoon, “And you’d better tell the rest of her charges that this goes for all of them too, understood?”

 

Hajoon nodded wordlessly, then watched the departing figures of G-Dragon and TOP.

 

They went straight to Minyoung’s desk, demeanor changing immediately as they saw her sitting with her head bent over some work, as usual. Jiyong felt his heart squeeze. “Minyoung-ah,” he called, though she didn’t hear him since she had her headphones in.

 

Jiyong and Seunghyun shared a mischievous glance and went to stand on either side of her desk. Jiyong rested his elbows on the desk and his chin on his fists, watching her, while Seunghyun braced his palms against the other side of her table, leaning in. They sometimes played this game, seeing how long it would take her to notice that they were there. Her record was seven minutes and fifteen seconds.

 

Today, however, Minyoung was a little more jittery and restless since on top of the work she had to complete, she now had to make arrangements for her trip to New York. CEO Yang had offered to book her on the same flight as the rest of them, but she’d demurred, citing her preference to take a red-eye flight so she could work for one more day, since she needed the time to complete her outstanding tasks. It was a valid reason, but she really just didn’t want to have to deal with the screaming fans at both airports that she was sure she’d have to face if she was with all the YG artists. Besides, she didn’t need the guys questioning why she was suddenly going to New York after all.

 

There were some things they’d be better off not knowing, and if she could solve the problem quietly all the better.

 

Grimacing at her thoughts, she looked up – and jumped when she saw the two men right next to her watching her. “Jesus!” she exclaimed in English, pressing her palm to her pounding heart. Their eyes followed involuntarily. “Jiyong-ssi, Seunghyun-ssi, nice to see you again,” she said politely, and rather superfluously, they thought, since even with the formal language it was clear to everyone by now that they had some sort of special relationship.

 

“Minyoung-ssi,” Jiyong greeted, willing to indulge her anyway. “Would you do Big Bang the honour of having lunch with us today?” he asked with a dramatic flourish.

 

She laughed. “It would be my pleasure,” she agreed, putting her things away as she picked up her wallet and phone. “Lead the way,” she said, smiling at him. Jiyong started walking slightly ahead of her while Seunghyun hovered next to her, the three of them walking down to the cafeteria where Daesung and Youngbae were already sitting.

 

“Minyoung-ah, do you want anything from New York?” Seunghyun asked when they were all seated with their food.

 

Minyoung took a sip of her soup then put her spoon down thoughtfully. “No, not in particular,” she said, and didn’t add that since she would be there at the same time as them, they really didn’t need to concern themselves too much with that. “I hope you guys have a lot of fun, and enjoy New York,” she continued. “It’s really an amazing place and I miss it.”

 

“Minyoung-ah, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but why did you decide to come back to Korea?” Daesung asked.

 

Minyoung rubbed her thumb and index finger together, the universal sign for money. They laughed a little in response, and Minyoung shrugged as she continued, “Besides, I hadn’t been back to Korea for thirteen years. I guess I missed this too. I’d been avoiding it for long enough.”

 

Youngbae smiled at her. “Well, regardless, we’re glad you’re here with us now.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Eomma, hi!” Minyoung exclaimed as her mother came to the door.

 

“Baby, you’re here!” Minyoung’s mother exclaimed in English, before switching to Korean. “Why? Is everything okay?”

 

Minyoung smiled back at her mother. No one else spoke to her in that blend of English and Korean, and she missed it. “Everything is fine, eomma. CEO Yang just sent me here to settle some stuff for him, and he was nice enough to give me enough time that I could catch up on some stuff too.”

 

“Well, come in, come in! I’ll make dinner – do you want japchae?”

 

Minyoung’s eyes lit up. She loved her mother’s japchae. “Really? I’d love it!” she said.

 

Minyoung’s mother bustled over to the kitchen and started gathering the ingredients. “You have to let Ally know that you’re back, too,” she said. “That girl misses you so much. She’s always over here.”

 

Minyoung smiled, already texting her friends to let them know she was in town. “I will, eomma, don’t worry. I talk to Ally all the time, too. I’m glad she’s doing well these days.”

 

Ally was five years younger than Minyoung, and back when they’d been living in the Bronx, she and her father had been in the apartment next door to Minyoung and her family. After hearing things breaking and yelling one night, Minyoung had gone to see what was happening and found Ally’s father beating the shit out of her, and immediately intervened, calling CPS and the police.

 

That had been ten years ago. In the ensuing confusion of what happened after, Minyoung and her mother made sure to keep track of Ally’s whereabouts, and Minyoung had made sure, despite her own busy schedule, that the younger girl was safe and in school, even adopting her into her own friend group when Ally had been too traumatized and awkward to make friends in her own school. When Ally graduated from college two years ago, Minyoung’s little family had gone for the ceremony. The girl had become a surrogate sister for Minyoung.

 

“Eomma, can I help?” Minyoung offered, watching her mother slice the vegetables busily.

 

Her mother hesitated, looking over the kitchen. “No, it’s fine, sweetie. It’s your first night back, you must be tired.”

 

Minyoung smirked at her mother. She knew that wasn’t why her mother refused to let her help – she was way too possessive over her kitchen in general. Well, it wasn’t like Minyoung was complaining.

 

After a nice dinner, Minyoung hugged her mother goodbye and then went over to a friend’s place. When she’d told them she was coming back to New York, Elliot had graciously offered to host a small gathering of their group of friends. She looked down at what she was wearing as she walked to the subway from her mother’s place. It was good enough, she supposed, for where she was going. A black and white plaid shirt thrown over a white cropped tank and high-waisted light wash denim shorts, with dirty white sneakers. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail.

 

About half an hour later, she was rocking up to Elliot’s apartment, a bottle of vodka she’d snagged from a wine shop down the block in her hand and the container of leftover japchae her mother had made her bring dangling from a plastic bag on her wrist. It wasn’t Elliot but his boyfriend Alex, which she supposed she should have expected since of the two of them, Alex was the one who was closer to her.

 

“Alex!” she cried excitedly as she ran into him, leaping into his arms for a hug.

 

“Min!” he yelled back, grabbing her deftly as he bounced her up and down. “It’s so good to see you, girl! It’s been too long,” he said, finally letting her down so her feet could touch the ground again.

 

“Ugh, I know,” she groaned, slinging her arm around his shoulder as they walked into the apartment.

 

“Everyone’s on the rooftop already, go on ahead,” he said. “I’ll just grab the juice out of the fridge for the vodka.”

 

Minyoung nodded, then climbed up the fire escape to the rooftop, where she was promptly assaulted by several more friends. Elliot, the older and more restrained half of the couple, came to give her a hug and a kiss on the temple, Ally came for a hug and to be fussed over by Minyoung, and Christine, the last member of the group, hugged her and then offered her a huff of her pen, which Minyoung took with a grateful smile.

 

Christine had been the one to introduce Minyoung to pot, and while she hadn’t done it that often she did enjoy it once in a while. Since being in Korea, she hadn’t touched any, and she was always telling Christine how much she missed getting baked with her friends.

 

Minyoung had met first Alex, and then Christine, in her second year of college. Both were a year older than she was; because she’d been rushing her degree, when she was in her second year she was already doing a lot of classes usually reserved for juniors. She’d introduced Ally to them, hoping that they’d at least be nice and friendly to the younger girl, since twenty-two year olds as a rule didn’t enjoy hanging out with sixteen year olds, but hadn’t really expected them to become so close. They seemed to enjoy doting on her though, which was a relief for Minyoung. Elliot, Minyoung’s ex-colleague, had been added to the group after she introduced him to Alex, not really expecting them to become a couple, but hoping that Elliot, who was three years older than Alex, would be able to give some guidance and support for the younger man, who had recently come out at the time.

 

As they sat down in a circle on the blanket already laid out, Ally opened a bottle of wine and poured some into Minyoung’s red solo cup. “Girl, you have to tell us everything about Korea!” she said, pouring some into her own cup.

 

Minyoung took a sip of the wine, then a drag of the pen that Christine had put in her hand, and began, “Okay. So Korea has been…”

 

An hour later, Minyoung had switched from wine to vodka, and was cross-faded from the alcohol and pot in her system. “So Jiyong-oppa and Seunghyun-oppa came to bring me hangover food,” she concluded her story, giggling.

 

Elliot and Alex shared a glance. Almost every story Minyoung had told them about Korea involved Jiyong and Seunghyun in some way, and neither of them had ever known her to be so into a guy. They were ready to stir some shit and force whatever was happening here to progress, especially after Minyoung let slip that they were in New York as well at the moment.

 

While Minyoung was distracted asking Ally about her new job, Alex reached over and grabbed Minyoung’s phone, which she’d left on the ground in front of her. He took a picture of her blowing out a plume of smoke from the hemp cigarette Christine had given her, her eyes half-lidded and the plaid shirt drooping off one shoulder, and sent it to Jiyong, with Elliot’s address.

 

Jiyong, who was currently in the hotel hanging out with a bunch of other YG artists, was surprised to receive a text from Minyoung, since she should be in the office and she rarely texted him while she was working. He opened it immediately when he saw it was a picture and his jaw dropped when he saw just what it was. Biting his lip as he contemplated the picture, he had to swallow against the sudden surge of confusion and arousal that coursed through him.

 

He got up and went to find Seunghyun, who was talking to Daesung, and showed him the picture without a word.

 

Seunghyun drew in a sharp breath. “Oh my God,” he breathed. Jiyong looked back at the messages and saw a New York address under the picture.

 

“Let’s go, I’m calling the Uber,” he said shortly and turned away. Seunghyun immediately got up to follow the younger man out of the room and to the street, leaving Daesung alone on the couch, blinking after them.

 

“What’s up? Where are they going?” Taeyang came to fill up the spot that Seunghyun had vacated.

 

“I don’t know, hyung,” Daesung said. “Neither of them said a word to me, Jiyong-hyung just showed Top-hyung something on his phone, and then Top-hyung got that stupid constipated look on his face and they both left.”

 

Taeyang stifled a laugh. “That means it’s about Minyoung,” he said.

 

“Oh yeah, definitely, that was never in question,” Daesung agreed. “You have no room to laugh though, hyung, you used to be such a lovesick puppy running after Eunran-noona,” he teased.

 

Taeyang punched Daesung lightly on the shoulder. “What about you?” he countered. Daesung had the grace to blush and subside, knowing that he’d been a sucker for his girlfriend at the beginning. After four years together he’d mellowed out, but it had been embarrassing at first.

 

Meanwhile, Minyoung, oblivious to Elliot and Alex’s meddling, was singing along to the song that was playing, swaying with her eyes closed. “I’m walking uphill both ways it hurts, I bury my heart here in this dirt – ”

 

Through the open window, they could hear the buzzer for Elliot’s apartment.

 

“Oh, that must be the food. Minyoung, can you go and get it please?” Alex asked.

 

“Okay,” Minyoung said placidly. She hadn’t even known Alex had ordered food, but now that she was high and drunk she wasn’t really in the mood to question anything, so she just climbed down the fire escape to get the door.

 

Opening the door, she was expecting a deliveryman but blinked in surprise when she saw Seunghyun and Jiyong standing in front of her instead. “Oppas, you’re here!” she exclaimed in English, flinging herself at them both for a hug. As she pulled back, she blinked hard and they realized how red her eyes were. “How did you find me?” she asked, leading them into the apartment and closing the door after them.

 

“Minyoung-ah, are you okay?” Seunghyun asked, watching her walk unsteadily back to the window.

 

“Yeah, why?” she called back behind her, climbing out of the window.

 

Jiyong and Seunghyun shared a panicked glance, then Jiyong ran to her side. “Because you’re climbing out the window? Please don’t,” he tried to stop her, putting his hands on her waist to pull her back in.

 

Minyoung looked back at him, surprised. “Everyone’s on the rooftop, though,” she told him.

 

“Oh.” Chastised, he let her go and watched her climb back up the fire escape, his face (and hands) burning.

 

“Smooth,” Seunghyun said to him drolly.

 

“Shut up,” Jiyong responded sulkily, following Minyoung.

 

“Guys, look who came!” Minyoung called excitedly as Jiyong, and then Seunghyun, climbed onto the rooftop. The rest of the gang, just as drunk and baked as she was, squinted at them.

 

“Who?” Ally said, scrunching her face up adorably. Minyoung laughed as she went to give Ally a hug. “Jiyong-oppa and Seunghyun-oppa,” she explained, squeezing the younger girl fondly.

 

The two men greeted the group politely and sat down on either side of Minyoung, who immediately grabbed another two cups from the stack. She picked up the bottle of wine and poured generous amounts into both cups, then held them out on either side for the two men. For herself, she poured vodka and grape juice.

 

Detailed introductions were made all around, and they got a basic idea of how the group had come to be. Christine offered Minyoung the pen again and she took a drag, then returned it to the other woman.

 

“Do you guys want some?” Christine asked, holding the pen out again. The two men hesitated, and Minyoung cut in smoothly, “No, I think they’re good.” She squeezed Seunghyun’s knee and took Jiyong’s hand in hers. “You guys can smoke though, if you brought your cigarettes.” Even high, she had enough sense to know that giving marijuana to Seunghyun and Jiyong, after they’d each had their own respective weed scandals, would be a bad idea. She was particularly worried about Seunghyun, and rested her head on his shoulder, threading her arm through his.

 

All right, maybe she was an unstable and clingy drunk. Sue her.

 

Jiyong tugged his hand back so he could light his cigarette, and Minyoung let go, although she whined in protest. Once he’d gotten it lit, he held the cigarette in his left hand and reached over to tug on her ponytail lightly with the right, and she turned her head to smile at him widely.

 

The rest of the group exchanged glances. They’d known every single man Minyoung had ever dated, and she’d never been this carefree and natural with any of them. This, with Jiyong and Seunghyun… it was different.

 

Of course, since Minyoung had brought her boy(?)friend(s)(?) (it’s all very confusing, okay) to the gathering, all of them engaged in telling funny stories about Minyoung and generally trying to embarrass her.

 

Alex was winning, though, with a story about how Minyoung had gotten turned on in LA by an Uber driver.

 

“And the whole trip, she never even saw his face, just his hands on the steering wheel! I could tell from her expression how turned on she was by his hands.”

 

The group was screaming with laughter, even Minyoung, though she tossed a handful of popcorn at Alex. “Stop!” she protested, although she was laughing too hard to put any real heat behind the words.

 

“I’d never known because we don’t drive in New York, but if I had found out while we were still hooking up… damn, girl!” Alex concluded his story, shooting Minyoung a look.

 

Elliot laughed and pulled Alex in, kissing him on the cheek. “It’s true,” he confirmed. “Min definitely thinks it’s hot when guys drive.”

 

Minyoung sat upright. “As if you don’t!” she protested. “I saw the way you were looking at Alex when we took that road trip!”

 

Elliot scoffed. “That’s because Alex turns me on, it’s not a kink.”

 

Minyoung sulked. “Oppa, they’re so mean to me,” she whined in Korean into Seunghyun’s shoulder. He patted her head with the hand that she wasn’t currently clinging to, only half-listening to the story.

 

Jiyong, however, got up abruptly and dragged Minyoung to her feet too, shepherding her to another corner of the rooftop.

 

“Oppa, what’s wrong?” she asked, slightly irritated. “You’re being rude to my friends.”

 

He turned around, furious. “Your friends? You never mentioned that Alex is your ex!” he accused.

 

Minyoung sighed, frowning now. Seunghyun had come up behind her to see what was going on after excusing himself more politely than Jiyong had. “Not that it’s any of your business,” she began acerbically, “but he is not my ex.”

 

“You’re still lying to me? He said you slept together! Why would you invite us for your reunion with your ex?!”

 

“Maybe because I didn’t invite you at all!” she exploded. “And I don’t owe you any explanations. Mind your own fucking business, oppa,” she said the last part in English. They’d noticed that when she got drunk she seemed to speak in English more, especially if she was cursing.

 

“Minyoung-ah, don’t be so mean to your oppa,” Seunghyun said, resting his hand on her shoulder to calm her down. “He’s not trying to be mean, it’s just a lot for him to process.”

 

Minyoung sighed, calming down at Seunghyun’s words. “Fine,” she said slightly grudgingly. She closed the short distance between herself and Jiyong and took his hand.

 

“Jiyong-oppa, don’t be mad,” she said. “Alex and I were never together. We were friends with benefits when we were younger, but that’s over now. He’s been with Elliot for ages and they’re so happy together. And I don’t have feelings for Alex, I never did. Whatever we had going on back then was just a coping mechanism for both of us. He’s one of my best friends now, so please, please be nice to him? It’d mean a lot to me if you got along.”

 

Unable to stay mad at Minyoung for long, and also now sensing that he might have overreacted and made a fool of himself, Jiyong pulled her into his arms for a hug. “I’m sorry,” he said into her hair. He didn’t add that he’d been jealous since he technically had no right to be, but knew that she would understand anyway.

 

She patted him on the back. “It’s okay, oppa. I’m sorry about what I said earlier too. I’m really glad you and Seunghyun-oppa are here,” she said, reaching out a hand to the other man. When he put his hand in hers, she pulled him into the hug.

 

“I didn’t know you had a thing for men driving,” Seunghyun said, trying to lighten the mood. “Have you been secretly admiring the view when we drive you around?”

 

Minyoung flushed and swatted at Seunghyun, but didn’t deny it. “Come on,” she said, squirming out of the hug and going back to where her friends were sitting.

 

“Everything all right there, Min?” Christine asked.

 

“Yeah, it’s all good now,” she responded, picking up a hemp cigarette from the box lying in the middle of the blanket and popping it in her mouth. “Oppa, light me up?” she asked, turning her face towards Seunghyun. He fished his lighter out of his pocket and sat down next to her, cupping his hand around the end of her cigarette to light it. Once it was lit, she took a drag then took the cigarette from her mouth, blowing the smoke out at him playfully. He waved a hand in front of his face and mock glared at her as he lit his own cigarette.

 

Now that Jiyong’s jealousy had been assuaged, he was more relaxed and friendly with the others, although it was still slightly difficult for them because of the language barrier. He was also distracted because at some point Minyoung had decided to lie down with her head on his lap, and he was stroking her ponytail. She’d been participating in the conversation for a while, but Jiyong’s rhythmic stroking was putting her to sleep and she closed her eyes just for a moment to enjoy the soothing feeling.

 

“Okay, it seems like the night is over,” Alex said, eyeing Minyoung, who was basically half asleep curled on Jiyong’s lap now, still holding Seunghyun’s hand.

 

“Jiyong, she’s not Ai,” Seunghyun said to the younger man, eyeing the way he’d been petting Minyoung’s head for almost half an hour now.

 

“Hmm?” Jiyong said, unaware of how long he’d been just petting her. When he followed Seunghyun’s gaze down and realized Minyoung was almost asleep, he paused with his hand on her head. “Is she okay?” he asked the group in English.

 

“Min’s fine, she just gets like this after drinking, and the weed makes it worse,” Christine explained. “We know the night is over when Minyoung falls asleep somewhere she shouldn’t be sleeping, though,” she added wryly, looking at the other woman.

 

“Min, do you think you can make it home?” Ally asked, reaching over to tap Minyoung’s shoulder.

 

Minyoung sat up and blinked sleepily, rubbing at her eyes which were bloodshot. “Yeah, I can make it home,” she said through a yawn. Her actions seemed to belie her words though, as she just leaned back against Jiyong again, resting her head on his shoulder.

 

“She can stay here tonight, it’s fine,” Alex immediately offered.

 

“Yeah, she usually ends up crashing at one of ours if she’s not the one hosting,” Elliot said. “Don’t worry about her, she’s always too stubborn to admit she can’t go home.”

 

“Oh, it’s okay, she can come with us,” Seunghyun said in slightly halting English.

 

Minyoung stirred. “What time is your call time tomorrow?” she mumbled into Jiyong’s shoulder. “I don’t wanna have to wake up again and move at like 5am.”

 

Jiyong hesitated. Their call time really was pretty early. Regardless, he wanted to be able to keep an eye on her while she was like this. It was probably ridiculous for him to feel this way, but he couldn’t shake it, and maybe he didn’t want to leave Minyoung alone with a man who’d seen her naked. He looked up at Seunghyun for help.

 

“You can keep staying in the room past our call time; it’s fine,” Seunghyun interjected. “We just want to make sure you’re safe.”

 

“Okay,” Minyoung agreed drowsily. There were reasons why she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t remember them at the moment.

 

Since the conversation had taken place in Korean, they had to explain what was happening to the rest of the group. They maneuvered their way down the fire escape back into Elliot’s apartment, when Minyoung let go of Jiyong and wandered away, murmuring about how she needed to pee.

 

“She’s so precious,” Christine said fondly, watching Minyoung stumble into the restroom.

 

“Isn’t she?” Alex agreed, leaning into Elliot, who had his arm around the younger man’s shoulders. “Please don’t hurt her,” he said, the mood changing abruptly as he addressed Jiyong and Seunghyun. “She’s seen enough pain in her lifetime.”

 

The two men started. “How much do you know about her past?” Jiyong asked.

 

The four friends looked at each other. “Pretty much everything, I think,” Elliot said thoughtfully. “We’ve all known her for quite a long time now, after all.”

 

Ally sighed. Thinking about all that her surrogate sister had gone through still made her heart hurt. “She’s doing a lot better now, though,” she said quietly. “And I kind of feel like you guys have something to do with it. Just please, take care of her?”

 

The toilet flushed, and then the sound of running water started. “She likes you,” Alex said. “Don’t throw it away because of her past. That was a long time ago, and all of us had our own struggles then. She’s the strongest person I know, and she deserves the world.”

 

Minyoung wandered back and immediately slid her arms around Seunghyun’s waist, completely using his body to keep herself upright. He stroked her hair as she leaned against him. “I know,” he told Alex. “I wish I knew more about what you’re talking about, though.” They started shepherding Minyoung out of the apartment and to the street.

 

“She’ll tell you eventually,” Christine told him as they waited for the elevator. “If you can earn her trust, that is.”

 

Soon enough they were in the back of an Uber, and Minyoung was completely out cold, slumped against Seunghyun’s shoulder.

 

“Hyung, what do you think she’s doing in New York?” Jiyong asked Seunghyun quietly, trying not to wake her.

 

“Visiting her family? Maybe CEO Yang felt bad for her,” Seunghyun suggested. “She’ll tell us when she wakes up, probably.”

 

“Okay.” Jiyong reached over to stroke Minyoung’s cheek with his thumb gently, Seunghyun following the motion with his eyes. Both men were aware of how they felt towards her, and that eventually one of them would be left heartbroken. This had never really happened before; they might have chased the same girl or had the same crush, especially in their formative years, but never had they both felt so strongly about the same person.

 

“Hyung – ” Jiyong started, not taking his eyes off Minyoung.

 

“Shh, you’ll wake her up,” Seunghyun cut him off, not wanting to hear what the younger man had to say. He wondered how he had become such a coward, but he knew that living a short time with Minyoung in his life was better than any alternative. He would take each day with her as it came, and when she was gone, he would cherish whatever time he’d had with her. He wasn’t about to give her up.

 

Jiyong bit his lip. He didn’t know how to tell Seunghyun that more and more, it felt like the three of them were all indispensable pieces of the puzzle, that without any one of them, it would feel incomplete. He wasn’t sure how to feel about this realization; it was weird, for sure, and not something he had ever expected would happen to him in his life, but he couldn’t deny it any longer. He didn’t know what Minyoung thought about it, or if she even liked either of them that way, but for once, he wanted to take a blind leap of faith.


	9. Chapter 9

Back in the hotel room, Minyoung had basically collapsed on the first bed she saw, not even bothering to take her contacts out.

 

“Minyoung-ah, you need to get ready for bed,” Seunghyun sat beside her and shook her slightly.

 

Minyoung curled up into a ball facing away from him. “Nooooo,” she protested childishly.

 

Jiyong went to his bag and dug up an extra shirt that she could sleep in, putting it next to her. “Come on, you need to take a shower,” he said, tugging on her arm.

 

Minyoung pushed herself up on the bed and raised her arms for him. “Oppa, do you want to join me?” she murmured, her eyes still closed.

 

Jiyong seemed to choke on air for a moment, even as he gathered her up in his arms and carried her to the bathroom. “Ask me again when you can keep your eyes open and I’ll have a different answer for you,” he said, setting her down in front of the bathroom. She wandered in and, without closing the door, shed her plaid shirt, dropping it on the ground. She was pulling her tank over her head, exposing inch after inch of the creamy skin of her back, when Jiyong remembered himself and slammed the door shut, gulping.

 

He wandered back to the bed, dazed, and lay down next to Seunghyun, who was sitting at the same spot. The older man looked at him, amused. “You okay?” he asked.

 

“Hyung,” Jiyong groaned, turning over to bury his face in the covers.

 

Seunghyun snickered. “Should have joined her in the shower while you had the chance,” he said. Jiyong just groaned again like a dying man. Seunghyun swatted at his head. “If you have to rub one out, don’t do it in my bed,” he snarked at the younger man, who gave him the finger and went to lie in his own bed.

 

Seunghyun leaned back into his pillows and crossed his fingers on his belly, crossing his legs as he closed his eyes and tried not to think too hard about Minyoung being in the shower with about three feet and a flimsy wall separating them.

 

The shower stopped, and a minute later, Minyoung was poking her wet head out of the bathroom. “Um, I think the shirt is still on your bed, Seunghyun-oppa.”

 

Jiyong and Seunghyun both looked at the shirt, lying, as she’d said, on the bed by his legs. “Right,” he said with an awkward cough as he picked up the shirt and brought it to her. Minyoung opened the door wider to take it from him, allowing him to see her wrapped in nothing but a towel. “Thanks, oppa,” she said as she shut the door again. Seunghyun banged his head softly against the wall next to the bathroom door with a moan.

 

“Hyung, you okay?” Jiyong asked, smirking now at the older man at how the tables had turned. Seunghyun flipped Jiyong off as he made his way back to his bed.

 

Minyoung reappeared a moment later, clad in the shirt as she rubbed her hair dry with the towel. “Thanks for loaning me the shirt,” she said, going to sit on the bed next to Seunghyun cross-legged facing Jiyong.

 

He smiled at her fondly. “It’s no problem,” he said. “You should keep it, actually. It looks better on you than me.”

 

She smiled back at him as she got up to put the towel back. Seunghyun went to get ready for bed next, so Jiyong beckoned Minyoung over to his bed where she made herself comfortable under the covers, sliding close to him sweetly. He stroked her wet hair (now that he’d started, it seemed he couldn’t stop) and asked, “Did you enjoy tonight?”

 

Minyoung grinned up at him. “I did! So much,” she sighed into the pillows. “I missed them all, and I worry about Ally all the time, even though I know she’s fine now, and I miss third-wheeling Elliot and Alex.” Then she giggled. “I was the one who introduced the two of them, you know? I feel like that’s my crowning achievement in this life.”

 

Jiyong smiled down at her. “Really? You introduced your friend with benefits to his boyfriend? That sounds like an interesting story.”

 

Minyoung got up onto her elbows. “Hmm, I told you earlier that we never really had feelings for each other. We just used the sex as a coping mechanism – I was dealing with, you know,” she gestured vaguely with her hands, “and he was struggling a lot with his sexuality, because he comes from a deeply Catholic Latin American family.”

 

She lay back down on her back. “Man, the way he came out to me, though…” she laughed again just thinking about it, her hand coming up to cover her eyes.

 

“How?” Jiyong asked, turning to face her more fully, pulling her hand away from her eyes.

 

Minyoung let him hold onto her hand, still laughing a little. “It was the worst _possible time_ ,” she emphasized. “Like, we’d just hooked up, I was like, ‘Best one yet, huh?’ and he just looks at me and goes, ‘Min, I think I’m gay.’” She had to stop for a moment then as the giggles bubbled out of her throat.

 

“Man, I did not have the best reaction,” she said wryly. “I was shocked, y’know, and I was thinking like, really? Hooking up with me made you gay?”

 

Just then, Seunghyun left the bathroom in his pajamas and came around to sit on Minyoung’s other side. “What are you talking about?” he asked.

 

“Alex coming out to me after we’d hooked up,” she explained easily.

 

“When was this?”

 

Minyoung squinted. “Like, maybe a year after I’d graduated? We’d been hooking up since college, so I was all the more confused when he suddenly told me that he was gay, because, you know.”

 

Seunghyun hummed in assent, and Minyoung continued. “Anyway, we were actually really good friends outside of the sex, so when he came out to me nothing really changed, we just stopped sleeping together.”

 

Then she paused, and said thoughtfully, “Come to think of it, I think we spilled our deepest secrets to each other in bed, and that’s probably the reason we became such close friends.” Then she laughed a little. “What a strange way to bond with someone, huh?”

 

Jiyong laughed. “I’ve heard of worse.”

 

“Anyway, I introduced him to Elliot, who was my colleague at the time, because Elliot was out and proud, and I thought it would be nice for Alex to talk to someone who’d had that experience of coming out and could guide him and stuff, you know? I didn’t expect them to become a couple, and certainly not as quickly as it happened. I’m happy for them, though. They’re really happy together, and I’m like their official third wheel now,” she joked.

 

Seunghyun smiled down at her. “That’s nice of you,” he said.

 

Minyoung shrugged. “It was nothing. Alex is one of my best friends; I’m just glad I was able to help him. He helped me out a lot too.”

 

“Really? How so?” Seunghyun asked as Jiyong eased himself off the bed, going to wash up.

 

“Well, he was actually the first person that I told about my problems,” Minyoung said, turning onto her side so she could face Seunghyun directly. She shifted so that she was all but cuddled up against him, her fingers winding themselves into his pajama top. “It was a spectacular moment of weakness for me, actually, but, you know, weed, alcohol and orgasms will do that to a person,” she said matter-of-factly, ignoring the way his expression changed.

 

“Right, sure,” he murmured, trying to tamp down both the arousal and the jealousy. The control that she had over his emotions was really rather alarming, although he was too caught up in trying his best to absorb it all to really be upset. She shifted closer yet to him, throwing her arm around him as she snuggled close with a massive yawn.

 

He smiled fondly at her, shifting his position too so that he could lie down next to her, his hand going up to cradle her head gently. When Jiyong returned, he found the two of them like that. “That’s my bed,” he objected to no one in particular. Minyoung, completely out cold, had no reaction, but Seunghyun cracked one eye open.

 

“There’s still space,” he whispered, feeling a petty vindictiveness, recalling the earlier incident where Jiyong had snuck into his bed to sleep with Minyoung.

 

Jiyong grumbled but got under the sheets anyway, sliding close to Minyoung. “You suck,” he said to Seunghyun as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

 

“You shouldn’t be so rude to your hyung,” Seunghyun mumbled without any real heat behind the words as he settled in to go back to sleep.

 

“This bed is too small for three people,” Jiyong countered.

 

“Then get out,” Seunghyun bit back, unwilling to move and disturb Minyoung. Jiyong pouted a little, but then Minyoung shifted slightly, pushing her butt back into his hips, and he stopped talking very quickly, suddenly content to stay where he was.

 

The next morning found the three of them still wrapped around each other. When Jiyong and Seunghyun’s alarms rang at six am, the two men, comfortable where they were, just groaned and tried to ignore it, but Minyoung stirred. “Turn it off,” she murmured in her raspy sleepy voice, pushing them away from her.

 

Groping for their phones, they shut off the alarms one after another, then turned on the bedside lamp.

 

“Argh,” Minyoung complained as she turned to press her face into the pillow. Her shirt had ridden up overnight to her waist, exposing the black panties she was wearing. Jiyong, still half wrapped around her, had his arm around her bare belly, and still half-asleep, wasn’t sure why he was expected to leave this. He swatted at Seunghyun to let him know that the older man could use the bathroom first.

 

Seunghyun rolled his eyes at Jiyong but got up anyway. When he emerged from the bathroom, freshly washed up and in a button down shirt and jeans, he went over to the bed where Jiyong appeared to have fallen back asleep, and hit the younger man on the back of his head.

 

“Get up,” he hissed at Jiyong, who cracked open an eye and then reluctantly pulled away from Minyoung. He almost died when she whined and made grabby hands at him, missing his warmth immediately.

 

“Minyoung-ah, we have to go,” Jiyong whispered to her tenderly, rubbing at her cheek with his thumb. “Sleep as long as you need, okay?”

 

She murmured her assent, and Jiyong went to use the bathroom while Seunghyun sat down on the couch next to Jiyong’s bed to wait for him. Soon after, they turned out the lights and said goodbye to Minyoung as they left the room.

 

When they went down to the lobby, they found Youngbae and Daesung already waiting for them. “Where did you guys go last night?” Daesung asked curiously.

 

Seunghyun flushed, remembering how he’d left the conversation with Daesung without even a word. “Right, sorry,” he said with a cough, rubbing the back of his neck. “We had some… matters to tend to.” He thought about Minyoung, still soft and warm and asleep in their room. Jiyong, ever the big mouth, piped up, “Minyoung’s in town.”

 

Youngbae and Daesung shared a knowing look. “You went to find her?” Youngbae asked in a deceptively mild voice, holding his laughter in desperately.

 

“Yeah…” Seunghyun said, cutting Jiyong off so he didn’t start telling the others every detail about what had happened last night. “Oh look, the manager’s here,” he changed the subject abruptly as he started walking away from the group to greet the manager.

 

“He’s definitely hiding something,” Daesung muttered to Youngbae. The older man hummed in agreement, but they weren’t able to find out more since they had a pretty packed morning.

 

A few hours later, Minyoung had managed to rouse herself from the comfortable bed and went back to her own hotel to shower and change. Rosé and Lisa had mischievously sent her a pdf of Big Bang’s filming schedule, with the caption “just in case” and a wink emoji, and although she’d rolled her eyes at the time, she unexpectedly found it useful now, as she picked up some bagels to bring to the guys during their break.

 

She arrived on set a little before they were scheduled to take the break, and thankfully was able to enter the set fairly easily since she knew some of the other YG employees milling around. She stood near the filming area, just watching them with a small smile. Come to think of it, she’d never been able to just observe them working like this since by the time they’d debuted she was too busy with her own trainee activities to hang around them like she had while they were all trainees.

 

It was really something else, she thought, the level of professionalism that these men were capable of onstage, when offstage they were so sweet. She found her gaze drawn to Jiyong and Seunghyun especially, which shouldn’t have been a surprise, really. She bit her lip as they danced, grinding against the female dancers while staring into the camera intensely. If she’d been sixteen and watching this, she’d probably have been jealous of the dancers, but now she could appreciate the show.

 

She walked the few steps over to the chair with Jiyong’s name on it and sat down, resting her elbow on the arm rest and her chin on her fist. They really were exceptionally beautiful men, she thought, her gaze drifting over them. Eunran-unnie was a lucky woman.

 

When the track stopped playing, Minyoung, who’d gotten lost in her thoughts as she watched the filming process, snapped back to attention as she saw the guys walk towards the row of chairs where she was currently sitting. She stood up and took a few steps forward, waving at them while cradling the paper bag with the bagels inside close to her chest.

 

“Minyoung-ah, hi!” Youngbae called cheerfully. Jiyong and Seunghyun were busy staring at Minyoung, dressed today in a cute striped sundress with sandals. She’d left her hair down today, and it fell down her back like a silky waterfall.

 

Daesung sighed. It was really getting ridiculous – it wasn’t like it was the first time they’d seen Minyoung like this, and their lack of game was really getting embarrassing for them all. Here were two men in their thirties, who’d dated some of the most beautiful women in Korea, speechless because they were gaping at a woman who happened to be wearing a cute outfit.

 

“Hi, oppa!” she called back, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I brought you guys bagels; I didn’t know if the spread they provided would have some real New York food for you guys.”

 

“That’s very nice of you, Minyoung-ah! Thank you,” Daesung responded.

 

Jiyong cleared his throat. “Right, yes, thank you, Minyoung.”

 

They walked off to the dressing room, where Minyoung opened the bag and handed out bagels. By this point, she knew their tastes well enough to customize their breakfasts.

 

“Jiyong-oppa, I know you love sweets, so you can share my bagel if you wanna try it, but I actually got you this breakfast roll,” she said, handing him the bag with a sweet smile. He took it from her, smiling back, and settled back into the couch. Since there wasn’t any more seating space, Minyoung perched on the arm of the sofa as she unwrapped her bagel.

 

“How was filming today, guys?” she asked, before taking a big bite. “Mmm,” she moaned, her eyes closed in bliss. “I’ve missed breakfast bagels so much.”

 

“It was good,” Seunghyun said as Jiyong tugged on Minyoung’s arm to get her to let him try some of her bagel. She held it in front of his mouth and let him take a bite. “This is an everything bagel with sausage, egg and cheese,” she told him. To Seunghyun, she said, “Yeah? Good how?”

 

“We might be able to finish ahead of schedule today,” he told her. Jiyong nodded, then swallowed. “That’s so good,” he groaned. She grinned at him. “Right?”

 

“Minyoung-ah, if we finish early let’s have dinner,” Daesung interjected.

 

Minyoung looked up. “Sorry guys, I’d love to, but I have stuff to do tonight.”

 

“What are you doing tonight?” Seunghyun asked curiously.

 

“Oh, just some stuff for CEO Yang,” she said breezily, then took another bite from her bagel. “Your music video looks lit, by the way,” she complimented with her mouth full.

 

“Thank you, it was Seunghyun’s concept,” Youngbae told her.

 

She turned to smile at Seunghyun. “Really? Nice!”

 

The conversation then turned to a variety show that all of them followed, SUJU TV. “Do you guys think you’ll ever have a variety show like that?” Minyoung asked.

 

“Why, would you watch it?” Jiyong asked.

 

“I would, although hanging around you guys is like watching a variety show anyway.”

 

They all laughed at that, then Daesung said, “I don’t think we’re as funny as them, though. We don’t have the habit of hitting each other’s butts.”

 

Minyoung shrugged. “Never too late to start.”

 

“Only if you agree to do it too,” Seunghyun teased.

 

Minyoung arched a brow at him. “Why?” Then she bent forward slightly so he could peek down her dress. “Oppa, do you want to spank me?” Her voice dropped about an octave as she asked the question in English, not knowing the Korean word for ‘spank’. It was always fun to watch him squirm when she teased him, even though she still wouldn’t hear of dating someone in the same company as her.

 

He cleared his throat awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably as he tried not to flush or get hard. He failed on both counts.

 

Daesung tried not to laugh. Sometimes he thought Minyoung must be the most oblivious woman alive if she didn’t realize that she had Jiyong and Seunghyun wrapped around her little finger and panting after her for more, but then she pulled something like this, and it made him wonder, really, if it wasn’t all just an elaborate act she was putting on.

 

Soon enough, Jiyong and Seunghyun had to go back to set to film their solo parts, but Daesung and Youngbae weren’t needed on set yet. Minyoung sat down in the spot that Jiyong had vacated, and Daesung said, “You should stop torturing them,” feeling slightly sorry for his hyungs.

 

Minyoung stifled a laugh. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she feigned innocence.

 

Youngbae rolled his eyes. “Come on, the spanking comment was really too much. I haven’t seen Seunghyun look like this since we were in our teens.”

 

Minyoung had the decency to look embarrassed. “Yeah, that was really too much. Okay, I’ll scale it back.”

 

“Why won’t you just put them out of their misery already?”

 

Minyoung looked surprised. “How?”

 

“I don’t know, just date one of them, I guess.”

 

She shrugged. “Neither of them have asked.”

 

“If they did, would you say yes?”

 

She thought about it, then shook her head slowly.

 

“Why not?”

 

“I don’t date colleagues.”

 

“Oh yeah, you never told us how this rule came about,” Youngbae prompted.

 

Minyoung sighed and rested her cheek on her fist. “It’s such an embarrassing story,” she sighed.

 

Daesung reached over to pat her on the head. “It’s okay, we know enough about your embarrassing stories by now.” He wasn’t just talking about what she’d revealed to them in the time since she’d come back into their lives, but all the stupid shit she’d gotten into as a trainee.

 

She shrugged. “That’s true.” Leaning back into the couch, she sighed again. “Okay. So this is embarrassing mostly because I can’t even blame it on being young and stupid. Um…” she scratched the bridge of her nose with her index finger. “A couple years ago, I was working for an entertainment agency like YG, and uh, I agreed to go out with one of the actors that the company was managing.” She looked up at Youngbae and Daesung, who nodded encouragingly.

 

“So we went out on a couple dates, and I thought it was going pretty well, until he drops me off at home one Friday night after dinner and drinks, and I get called in at three in the morning on Saturday because one of the clients I was managing was caught in a brothel during a raid.” She’d been looking down at her lap, fiddling with the crushed-up ball of aluminum foil in her hands, and she peeked up through her lashes at the two men.

 

“Oof,” Daesung said with a wince, seeing where this was going.

 

Minyoung nodded. “Yeah, it wasn’t pretty. I had to work on the media spin, talk strategy and all that, with the man who’d literally gone to a brothel immediately after a date with me. And to make things worse, I hadn’t exactly been subtle about going out with him, because like YG, the company I was at didn’t really have a strong anti-workplace romance policy. I think more than the betrayal it was how embarrassing everything was, with everyone knowing my business? It made it really hard to be professional. I ended up leaving as soon as I could, when CEO Yang came to me with the offer.”

 

“Minyoung-ah, that’s really awful, and I understand why you thought it would be safer to just stay away from any potential situations like that in the future,” Youngbae said sympathetically. She gave him a smile that was more of a grimace. “But you know Jiyong and Seunghyun would never do that to you. If you dated one of them… you’d never have to worry about them doing you wrong.”

 

Minyoung was silent for a long moment, and Youngbae was wondering if he’d gone too far. Then, in a small voice, she said, “I know.”

 

Daesung and Youngbae exchanged surprised glances. They hadn’t expected it to be so easy. “Then… why won’t you consider one of them?” Daesung asked.

 

Minyoung shrugged helplessly. “Which one?”

 

And there, it seemed, they’d found the crux of the issue.

 

“Besides,” she continued, “sometimes I think they still see me as that sixteen-year-old girl who needs her oppas to look out for her, yknow? And I haven’t been that person in a long time. If they want to be with that person… it’s just going to end in a lot of pain for everyone involved.”

 

There was really nothing they could say to that. They’d seen it too, the way Jiyong or Seunghyun would get overprotective and try to interfere in Minyoung’s life, even at the workplace. Neither of them thought it was necessarily a dealbreaker, but they could see how someone who’d clawed her way to where she was would have a problem with it.

 

“Well, I should get going and let you guys get back,” Minyoung said smoothly, standing up. “It was really nice hanging out today, Daesung-oppa, Youngbae-oppa.”

 

“Right, see you soon,” they said, bidding her goodbye.

* * *

 

 

Minyoung gave her reflection a half-smile as she finished blending out the dark eyeshadow. It had been a while since she’d done a real smokey eye, her old clubbing go-to. “Still got it,” she muttered to herself as she put the brush back. Quickly finishing up her makeup, she looked over her appearance with a critical eye. Tonight was important; she was supposed to get close to some sleazebag tabloid reporter who’d gotten some ‘dirt’ on Seungri and Big Bang. She didn’t know how CEO Yang had found out about it, but he had, and while it was always possible to sue or something after the article was published, it would still influence the comeback. Prevention was key, he’d told her, while instructing her to find out just what he was going to publish so they could refute it before it even came out.

 

She ran her hand through her hair and picked up the small purse she’d selected for the evening, then looked herself over once more. With her bold makeup, red lip, and tight black lace dress, she definitely looked like the kind of girl that scum like Richard Hollaway would be attracted to. She knew of him, of course – among those in her line of work, his name was notorious in the city – and she knew exactly how to catch his attention.

 

Slipping on stiletto sandals that she was sure would have her feet bleeding by the end of the night, she tugged her dress down a little, adjusted her tits to show more cleavage, and sighed. “I am too fucking old for this shit,” she muttered as she left the hotel room.

 

Arriving at the club she knew he frequented and had heard he was headed to tonight, Minyoung bought a drink and stood at the bar, surveying the crowd. Some men tried to come up to her, but she shrugged them off. She was a woman on a mission tonight, and she was going to get it done, so help her God.

 

Soon enough, she saw Hollaway walk in the door, with a bunch of his other sleazebag friends. Swallowing her disgust, she sent him a flirtatious look when they made eye contact, then blew him a kiss. She watched, satisfied, as he immediately left his group of friends and came over to her. That’s right, she thought.

 

“Hey,” Hollaway said.

 

She smiled up at him. “Hey,” she said breathily, putting a hand on his arm.

 

“Can I buy you a drink?”

 

“I’d love that,” she said, biting her lip.

 

When the drink arrived, he handed it to her and asked for her name.

 

“Michelle,” she said, leaning forward a little to ensure he got the full view of her cleavage – thank you, Victoria’s Secret.

 

“Well, Michelle,” he said, taking the hand that wasn’t holding a drink, “would you care to dance with me?”

 

Biting back a pithy response, she agreed and let him lead her to the dance floor. Grinding against him as enthusiastically as she could fake, she was gratified when he finally yelled in her ear, “Hey, wanna go smoke?”

 

She nodded, and he wrapped his arm around her waist as he led her out. She made sure to stumble a little and lean into him, so that he could think that she was more drunk than she really was.

 

Leaning against the brick wall outside the club, she let him crowd too close to her as he held a cigarette in front of her lips. Unnecessary, but she let it go as she opened her mouth slightly so he could put the cigarette between her lips and light it. He then lit his own cigarette and took a deep drag.

 

“I’m Richard, by the way,” he said with what she was sure he thought was a charming smile. If she hadn’t known who he was (destroyer of celebrities and the arch-nemesis of everyone who did what she did for a living) she might have thought so as well.

 

“Well, Richard, what do you do?” she asked coquettishly.

 

“I’m a journalist, sweetie,” he said slightly condescendingly, and she bit back a retort about how a sleazebag tabloid paparazzi didn’t deserve the title. “What about you?”

 

She blinked. “Oh, I’m kind of between jobs at the moment,” she said, looking down shyly. “It’s been a rough year.” Then she smiled up at him vacuously. “Tell me about your job?”

 

She took a hit of the cigarette as he puffed his chest up. “Well, it’s a lot of on-call work, investigation, stuff like that, you know. It’s really hard, so on days off like this I like to unwind.”

 

“Wow, it sounds hard,” she said sympathetically, shifting towards him slightly and turning to face him more completely. “It’s so cool that you do such important work.”

 

Unbeknownst to Minyoung, some of the younger artists had decided to sneak out and were at the same club as her, and while walking past the line to get into the club she’d walked past them. She hadn’t noticed, so occupied trying not to projectile vomit over the human slime that was Richard Hollaway, but they had, even though they didn’t know it was her.

 

“Look, that girl looks just like Minyoung-noona!” the idol who spotted her first said, nudging his companion.

 

“Oh my God, she does!” his companion, a female trainee who was featuring in his debut music video, giggled. “You should totally send a picture to GD-oppa, he’ll get such a kick out of it.”

 

So they did, only Jiyong, who knew that it was, in fact, Minyoung, was beside himself with anger and worry, especially after one of the American trainees took a look at the photo and identified the man as human trash Richard Hollaway, who basically made his living writing false stories about celebrities and had a reputation for doing strange things to girls at clubs, besides. Grabbing Seunghyun, the two of them hightailed it to the club to save Minyoung.

 

However, she didn’t know that all this was happening, so she continued standing by the front of the club flirting with Richard Hollaway to pry information about the upcoming exposé from him.

 

“Thank you, doll,” Richard said, caressing her shoulder. She smiled sweetly at him and then took another drag of the cigarette she was holding in her hand.

 

“What kind of stories do you cover? Anything interesting?” she giggled.

 

“Well, I cover a lot of celebrity news,” he said self-importantly.

 

She widened her eyes at him. “Celebrities? Wow,” she breathed. “That’s so cool! Have you ever met any famous people?”

 

He chuckled. “Well, I capture them in their most interesting moments, if you know what I mean.”

 

“You mean you go for their performances? How cool!” she said, biting her lip.

 

“No, I…” he sighed. “It’s a good thing you’re cute, Michelle. I write articles about their personal lives and stuff.”

 

“Oh…” she smiled up at him. “That’s cool too.” Then she sighed. “I wish more American news outlets covered Asian celebrities. I wish I could learn more about my Korean oppas.” She took a drag of the cigarette then blew the smoke out sadly.

 

“Well, if it makes you feel better, baby, I think you’ll find that a lot of interesting articles about Korean celebrities are coming out soon.”

 

She gasped. “Really?!”

 

He laughed at her. “Yeah, these days Korean entertainment is very popular in the States, you know.”

 

She was just about to press her advantage home, when she was roughly pulled away from Richard. She broke out of the grasp on her arm and turned to face the person. “What the fuck do you think you’re – ” she started to snap, the words dying on her lips as she saw both Jiyong and Seunghyun looming over her.

 

She tried to play it cool. “Who are you?” she asked crossly, scowling at them and hoping they would get the message and leave her alone.

 

“Minyoung-ah, we should go home,” Jiyong said to her in Korean. “This man is bad news.”

 

She pressed her lips together and looked back at Richard, who looked like he was on the verge of just walking away at that point. “I don’t know what you’re saying,” she said through gritted teeth in English. “But you’d better leave me the fuck alone. I was in a conversation with Richard.”

 

Seunghyun scowled, having had enough of the ridiculous situation. “Minyoung, enough. We’re leaving.” To Richard, he said, “I don’t know what you did to her, but trash like you don’t deserve to even be in the same space as her, Hollaway.” Meanwhile, Jiyong had snatched the cigarette from her hand and dropped it on the ground, putting it out with his foot.

 

Richard blinked and looked more closely at the two men standing in front of him. Now that he was paying attention, he could tell that they were “G-Dragon and TOP? Michelle, how do you know these guys?”

 

Then the pieces seemed to click into place for him. “You were just trying to shake me down for intel! You dirty, sneaky bitch,” he snarled at her, before turning on his heel and walking back into the club.

 

“No, wait, I – ” Minyoung tried to go after him, but Jiyong pulled her back.

 

“We’re leaving,” he said in a tone that brooked no argument. Minyoung didn’t protest, but her lips thinned in anger as she hailed a cab. The entire cab ride back to her hotel was spent in awkward silence, Minyoung obviously seething but unwilling to make a scene in the taxi. When it pulled up in front of the hotel, she pulled some cash out of her purse, knocked Jiyong’s hand away when he tried to hand his money to the driver, then exited the car.

 

She walked quickly up to the elevator, where she waited, arms crossed, for Jiyong and Seunghyun to follow. Her feet were killing her, but she was damned if she would show them that she was in pain and would probably benefit from holding on to one of them. When they came up behind her, she stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for her level, all without saying a word to them.

 

It wasn’t until they were safely in her hotel room that she exploded.

 

“What the _hell_ was that?!” she snapped as she threw her purse onto her bed and sat down on it to fiddle with the straps on her heels. When they were finally off, she chucked them into a corner of the room violently, stood up, and stomped over to where the two men were standing.

 

At this point, they were beginning to get the vibe that they’d fucked up, but weren’t sure how, since they’d only been trying to save Minyoung from an unsafe situation.

 

“Uh, that man was Richard Hollaway, and he’s very dangerous! You shouldn’t spend time with people like that, especially alone and at a club!” Seunghyun said, trying to be the responsible one.

 

Minyoung growled, literally growled at him, a sound he’d not known she was capable of making. “I know exactly who he was, you dimwit,” she snarled at him. “I was there talking to him for a reason! I told you that I was here doing something for CEO Yang, why couldn’t you have just left me alone tonight?!”

 

Jiyong then got in her face. “What business could you possibly have with scum like that?!”

 

“ _He literally writes fake stories to ruin celebrities’ reputations! I’m in charge of said reputations! Why don’t you figure it out, you fucking genius?!_ ” She pushed past him to get her makeup remover from the bathroom. “CEO Yang sent me here to find out about a damaging article about Big Bang that he was supposed to have written so that we could start refuting it to the public before it even came out to soften the blow.” Shaking the eye makeup remover out onto cotton pads, she pressed them over her eyes.

 

“It’s about Big Bang? Why didn’t you just tell us? We could have gone to look out for you.”

 

“Maybe because this is my _job_ , and it’s none of your fucking business, oppa!” Minyoung snapped. “Now you’ve gone and fucked up my assignment, and I have to tell CEO Yang about my failure to do something that he entrusted me with!” She started rubbing her cleansing oil on her face.

 

“Minyoung, we’re sorry, but we were just trying to protect you,” Seunghyun pleaded as she started washing the cleansing oil off. “You can’t blame us for that.”

 

She turned off the faucet and reached for a towel to dry her face, and Jiyong automatically took one from the towel rack to hand to her. “Thanks, oppa,” she murmured out of habit, almost without noticing as she continued her tirade.

 

“I don’t _need_ your protection, oppa!” she snapped at Seunghyun. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a grown woman with a job that I was _trying_ to get done tonight! If you wanted to protect me, you’re thirteen years too late, and it’s a little ridiculous that you’re starting now, by interfering with my career of all things. You get in the way when I'm trying to find out what shitty rumours are being spread about you, you  _threaten my charge_ \- "

 

"Wait, you know about that?"

 

"Yes, you dimwit! Poor Hajoon was terrified! He ran straight to Dongha-oppa, who of course came to tell me what was happening!"

 

"We were just trying to protect you - "

 

"By preventing me from doing my job?! What happened with Hajoon is _literally why my job exists!_ Not to mention, the poor boy is seventeen! He's literally a child; he's going to do stupid shit! I knew this when they gave me his portfolio! You can't keep interfering with my job! This is why I won’t go out with you!” she said, directing the last part at both of them.

 

They just blinked at her. There was a whole lot to unpack there, and Minyoung was staring at them in horror after having said too much in her anger.

 

“Oh, God,” she breathed, clapping a hand over her mouth. “Oh, my God.” She staggered over to her bed, where she lay face down, burying her face in the comforter.

 

“Minyoung-ah?” Seunghyun said, and she felt the bed dip as he sat beside her to put a hand on her back.

 

“Please, just go,” she groaned.

 

“Minyoung-ah, come on,” Jiyong cajoled. “It seems like we have a lot to talk about.”

 

Reluctantly, she sat up. “Not now, I have to call CEO Yang.”

 

She went to get her laptop and Skyped him, bracing herself for the scolding she was sure she was about to receive.

 

“Minyoung-ah, how was it?” CEO Yang asked as soon as he picked up the call.

 

Minyoung cleared her throat and looked up at Jiyong and Seunghyun, who were still in the room although they were out of the frame of the webcam. “Well, it didn’t exactly go as planned,” she hedged.

 

“Really? What happened?”

 

She sighed. “I was recognized and found out, and I’m sure he knows which article I was angling to find out about now.”

 

CEO Yang frowned. “How did that happen?”

 

She pursed her lips in annoyance and shifted the laptop so that he could see Jiyong and Seunghyun hanging around her room awkwardly. “Would you care to explain yourselves?” she said acidly.

 

CEO Yang sighed the moment he saw them. “I think I can guess,” he said tiredly. “Regardless, this is quite a disappointment, Minyoung-ah.”

 

Her shoulders slumped as she turned the laptop back to face herself. “Yes sir, I understand.”

 

“You should come back to Seoul as soon as possible. I’ll have you booked on another flight, and I expect a full debrief when you get back.”

 

“Yes, sir. My apologies again for how this turned out.”

 

He just hummed in acknowledgement and hung up.

 

“Oh, God,” Minyoung pressed her face into her hands. “I’m in so much shit.”

 

“Minyoung-ah, it’ll be fine,” Jiyong tried to console her.

 

“No, it’s awful!” she cried. “What if he fires me? I’m in so much debt,” she sobbed into her hands. “I can’t be unemployed. I’ll have to come back to the States.”

 

Jiyong and Seunghyun glanced at each other. “Minyoung, it’ll be fine, we’ll take care of it,” Seunghyun tried to reassure her.

 

“No thank you, you’ve done enough,” she rebuffed them immediately. “I can handle this on my own, thanks.”

 

“Minyoung-ah…” Jiyong said, catching her wrist in his hand. She pulled away as if her touch burned her.

 

“I think you should go,” she said firmly, getting up and walking to the door. They had no choice but to follow her as she opened the door and ushered them out, slamming the door behind them without saying goodbye. Hanging outside the door for a moment, they could hear her start to sob as she leaned against the door, but when they knocked on the door again she ignored them.


	10. Chapter 10

Minyoung stood outside the door to CEO Yang’s office, gathering up the nerve to enter. Finally, she took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

 

“Come in,” she heard, slightly muffled through the solid wood, and she swallowed as she opened the door.

 

“Good morning, CEO Yang,” she greeted, bowing deeply with her hands folded in front of her.

 

“Ah, Minyoung-ah,” he said, sliding his glasses off his face. He was otherwise silent for long enough that she started to cough and wring her hands in front of her uncomfortably.

 

“Well, I guess we have a lot to talk about,” he said, waving her over to a seat, where she sat rigidly.

 

“Yes, sir,” she murmured.

 

“First of all, would you care to explain more fully what happened?”

 

Minyoung smoothed out a wrinkle on her skirt nervously. “Well, I was at a club trying to chat up Hollaway for information, and I’m not sure how but G-Dragon-ssi and Top-ssi found out and tried to intervene. He figured it out because he recognized them.”

 

CEO Yang frowned. “I understand that you weren’t able to control the situation, but this is still quite a disappointment, Minyoung.”

 

“Yes sir, I understand. It won’t happen again.”

 

“Very well, see that it doesn’t.”

 

With that, he dismissed her and she all but ran out of the office before he could change her mind and fire her after all.

 

She went to the bathroom to splash some water on her face to cool down. At least he hadn’t fired her, she thought to herself, staring at her reflection in the mirror while gripping the edge of the sink. Get a grip, she ordered herself, willing her pounding heart to calm down.

 

Finally, when she felt like her emotions were under control, she grabbed a paper towel to pat her face dry and went to sit at her desk. It was all the more critical now that she perform well at this job, so she could prove to CEO Yang that he hadn’t made a mistake trusting her. And combined with what an ass she’d made of herself in New York… well, perhaps it would be for the best if she avoided Jiyong and Seunghyun for a little while.

 

One thing about Minyoung was that when she put her mind to something, it got done. Jiyong and Seunghyun found this out the hard way, when they tried to talk to her after returning to Korea. Since they often had schedules and events outside YG, they weren’t able to spend as much time as before hanging around, and it was incredibly frustrating that she seemed one step ahead of them whenever they were at the building, conveniently vanishing from her desk and being nowhere to be found any time either of them were at the YG headquarters.

 

They went to her home, but somehow she’d memorized the sound of all their cars (and, okay, maybe it wasn’t too difficult to identify the sports cars roaring up the road to her apartment in the otherwise quiet neighbourhood where hardly anyone even owned a car) and was either not in the apartment whenever they came or she turned out all the lights and ignored them when they knocked on the door.

 

It got so bad that finally they had enough and requested third-party intervention, from Rosé, who seemed to be good friends with Minyoung. Jiyong texted her to invite her to lunch, and she accepted, although she had an idea of what he was going to ask of her. She’d noticed that Minyoung didn’t seem to be hanging out with Jiyong and Seunghyun ever since they’d come back from New York, and that the older woman seemed more subdued and serious somethow. When she’d hesitantly tried to broach the topic once, Minyoung just grimaced and shook her head, and she’d dropped the subject.

 

“Jiyong-oppa, Seunghyun-oppa, good afternoon,” Rosé said as she arrived in the private room in the restaurant they’d chosen. It was a traditional Japanese restaurant, so they were sitting on the ground, but they rose to greet her.

 

“Chaeyong-ah, good afternoon,” they greeted. “Please, sit down,” Jiyong said.

 

“Okay, thank you,” she said, sitting down in the spot he’d directed her towards.

 

“How are you?” Seunghyun tried to break the awkward silence that fell over the room by making small talk.

 

“I’m good, thank you for asking,” Rosé responded politely. “The New York trip was really fun,” she said, trying to find common ground. Unexpectedly, they both grimaced, remembering the fight they’d had with Minyoung in New York.

 

“Yes, it was,” Jiyong murmured absently. “Have you seen Minyoung lately?” he asked then, trying (and failing) to make it seem like a random conversation topic.

 

“Yeah, once in a while,” Rosé said, biting her lip uncomfortably. Somehow this felt like a betrayal of Minyoung’s trust.

 

Jiyong leaned forward and rested his chin on his interlaced fingers, looking deceptively nonchalant. “Really? How’s she doing?”

 

Rosé coughed. “Um, fine, I guess,” she said lamely, trying not to fidget under his gaze.

 

“I’m sure you’re aware by now that she’s been avoiding us.”

 

“Um, kind of… I mean, I noticed that you weren’t spending as much time together in the YG cafeteria, but I thought maybe you guys were just busy…”

 

“Cut the crap. What did she tell you?” Seunghyun lost his patience first and snapped.

 

Rosé looked taken aback, and Jiyong smacked him on the shoulder. “Actually, very little,” Rosé answered. “She doesn’t seem to want to talk about it at all.”

 

The two men, hearing that, frowned deeply. “Well, she seems like a private person in general,” Rosé continued, feeling bad for them somehow. “She still hasn’t said anything about her past, and to be honest she’s the most open when she’s with you guys so I don’t see that changing any time soon.”

 

Jiyong sighed. “When we were in New York… we fell out,” he explained, probably redundantly. “She accused us of sabotaging her career because we still treat her like a child.”

 

Rosé winced. She could see both how something like that could come about, and how it would upset Minyoung, who was probably the most independent person she’d ever met.

 

“Okay…”

 

“Will you talk to her for us?”

 

Rosé cringed. She knew a request like this was probably coming, but it was still awkward. “I don’t really… want to get involved,” she hedged. She valued Minyoung’s friendship, and getting in the middle of this messy entanglement with some of the biggest celebrities at her company didn’t sound like a good move career-wise.

 

“Just find out if she’s still mad and tell her we feel bad?” Seunghyun wheedled.

 

When Rosé still looked hesitant, Jiyong used his ace. “I’ll write and produce your solo when it comes out.”

 

Rosé’s eyes widened. Having G-Dragon produce her solo would be amazing. Not just because he was a talented and experienced artist, but because VIPs would definitely stream her song to support him, and it would really help to boost the popularity of her song.

 

Still… “I feel bad manipulating Minyoung-unnie like that, though,” she objected, frowning a little.

 

“We just want to find out why she’s avoiding us,” Jiyong said, trying to convince her. “If she really doesn’t want anything to do with us anymore, we’ll accept it. It’s just hard not knowing why.” They hadn’t expected her reaction to the fight to be so strong – they’d figured that when they were back from New York, she would have cooled off a little and they could have just a discussion about it and then go back to normal.

 

“All right,” Rosé finally accepted with a sigh. She still felt a little bad about it, but hopefully if she helped Minyoung make up with the guys she would be happier too. She’d genuinely never seen Minyoung as carefree and open as she was interacting with them, and when they’d fallen out it had been painfully obvious to everyone that something was up, because Minyoung had been more snappy than usual.

 

Two weeks later, Rosé finally got a chance to fulfil her promise to Jiyong and Seunghyun. She caught Minyoung on a Friday evening poring over some documents in the office, basically alone since everyone had left for their weekend plans already.

 

“Unnie, good evening,” Rosé greeted.

 

Minyoung looked up and blinked. “Ah, Chaeyoung-ah, good evening. What are you doing in the office so late?”

 

“I could ask you the same question,” Rosé said teasingly. “You’ve been working too hard recently! It’s seven-thirty on a Friday night, let’s hang out.”

 

Minyoung smiled at the younger girl. “Okay,” she agreed, knowing Rosé was right. “What did you have in mind?”

 

“Shall we go drinking?” Rosé suggested, keeping in mind Jiyong’s tip that Minyoung was a chatty drunk, and that that might be the easiest way to get her to loosen up.

 

After some discussion, they eventually ended up at Minyoung’s apartment with a bottle of wine they’d picked up from a nearby wine shop. The high-end bar that the artists usually frequented was out of Minyoung’s budget and she wouldn’t hear of Rosé paying, and an outdoor vendor was out since Rosé would have to cover her face the entire time.

 

“Have a seat, I’ll get some glasses and join you,” Minyoung said as she kicked off her shoes and went to the kitchen to collect said glasses. She also opened her pantry to see if there were any snacks, picking up some crackers she’d picked up at Trader Joe’s when she was in New York.

 

Rosé looked around as she went over to the couch to sit. The apartment was a lot messier than it had been the last time she was there. There was a pile of dishes in the sink, the bin in the kitchen was stuffed full of takeaway containers, and she could see the laundry hamper in the corner by the bathroom was almost overflowing. It looked like Minyoung had been too busy to do chores for a while.

 

When Minyoung returned, Rosé poured the wine into the glasses, then they clinked them and drank.

 

“How have you been, unnie? I haven’t seen you in a while,” Rosé said.

 

Minyoung shrugged. “I’ve been really busy with work.”

 

“Is there something big going on? You seem really down too.”

 

Minyoung gave her a half-smile that was really a grimace. She hadn’t known her mood was so apparent to others, and she made a mental note to take more care with how she presented herself.

 

“Yeah, there’s been some stuff going on at work.” She didn’t really want to say more, and she hoped that the other girl wouldn’t ask more, but she wasn’t that lucky, unfortunately.

 

“Really? I thought it would have been because of GD-oppa and Top-oppa.”

 

“Yeah… I guess it’s about that too. It’s all a big mess,” she confessed, downing her glass. Rosé automatically topped it up.

 

“Sounds rough… do you want to talk about it?”

 

And then, the wine did its magic, and just as Jiyong had predicted, Minyoung opened her mouth and poured out her secrets.

 

“I was sent to New York because CEO Yang heard that a New York tabloid reporter had an article about Big Bang, and wanted me to find out exactly what it was about so that we could start doing public appearances and stuff to minimize the fallout of the article and all that, since America is a big market now for kpop. I found out which club the reporter was supposed to be at and went to flirt with him to find out more about the article, but Jiyong-oppa and Seunghyun-oppa found out somehow and went to intervene, so I wasn’t able to find out what he wrote.”

 

Rosé winced. CEO Yang was not generally forgiving towards mistakes like this. Still… “You said the rumour was about Big Bang? Then why didn’t you tell them about it? At least they might have left you alone that night.”

 

Minyoung sighed. “It was about Seungri.”

 

That explained it. The entire company had stopped mentioning his name altogether, and everyone walked on eggshells especially around the other Big Bang members.

 

“I wanted to protect them from it if I could, you know? They keep thinking I’m still sixteen and need protection like a child, but I’m an adult and I want to look out for them too.” Minyoung suddenly looked forlorn, rubbing her thumb against the stem of the glass. Rosé obligingly topped it up again.

 

“I knew Seungri-oppa too, back then. I didn’t think he would turn out to be so messed up, though.”

 

“I don’t think anyone expected it, really.”

 

Minyoung picked up the glass and drank again, draining almost the entire glass. “Things change so much,” she sighed. “I remember when he was new and Jiyong-oppa was ignoring him. We actually became kind of close back then because I would hang out in the apartment and try to talk to Seungri when Jiyong-oppa wouldn’t.”

 

“How long were you in Korea?” At this point, Rosé decided to take the opportunity to satisfy her own curiosity about Minyoung’s life, and poured a generous glass for the older woman.

 

“About two years? Maybe a little more?”

 

“With your family?”

 

Minyoung looked surprised, taking a sip of her wine before replying. “No… why would they be here? You didn’t come with your family.”

 

Wait a minute… “You were a trainee?!”

 

At that, Minyoung’s eyes widened and she clapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh, shit. You didn’t know.”

 

Rosé just gaped.

 

Minyoung cracked her neck uncomfortably. “Yeah, I was, for a couple of years. Don’t tell anyone though. And stop looking at me like that.”

 

“And you knew them back when you were a trainee?”

 

“Yeah, they were trainees too back then.”

 

Rosé looked thoughtful. “Do you think they treat you like you’re sixteen because you make them feel like they’re teenagers again too?”

 

“Huh. That… never occurred to me. Maybe so,” she conceded.

 

“Maybe you should talk to them about it.”

 

Minyoung sighed gustily. “I guess,” she said reluctantly.

 

“Why is it so hard for you?”

 

Minyoung rolled her eyes at Rosé. “I’m drunk, not wasted. You need more than half a bottle of wine for that.”

 

“You told me about you being a trainee though.”

 

“I thought you knew already, honestly, after that night. Besides, Jiyong-oppa has a big mouth. He wouldn’t have kept it a secret for long at this rate.”

 

“Well, if it makes you feel better I won’t tell anyone.”

 

“Don’t lie. The rest of Blackpink will know tonight. Just keep it to the four of you.”

 

Rosé grinned. “All right.”

 

Rosé left soon after, and on her way back texted Jiyong to let him know that she’d upheld her end of the bargain. After receiving the text while in the studio, he was tempted to immediately drive over to Minyoung’s and had to be forcibly restrained by the other members, who, thankfully, realized that it would be too suspicious if he showed up immediately after she agreed to talk to him and Seunghyun.

 

“Can you please, just for one second, not be so extra?” Seunghyun snarked at Jiyong.

 

“Are you in any position to lecture me about being extra?” Jiyong shot back sulkily.

 

Somehow they agreed to wait a few days to talk to Minyoung, and Seunghyun invited her to his apartment that Sunday.

 

Minyoung, five minutes early, found herself standing outside the front door, too afraid to knock, which again was something she’d not experienced since she was a teenager. Finally, in frustration, she pounded on the door, while cursing herself out for being a stupid and immature child.

 

“You’re almost thirty fucking years old,” she muttered to herself. “Act like a fucking adult for once.”

 

She steeled herself as she heard footsteps coming towards the door, but somehow it wasn’t enough and she found herself looking up with wide eyes, breathless all of a sudden, when Seunghyun yanked the door open. “Hi,” she breathed, her heart suddenly pounding.

 

“Oh…” he just stared at her for a moment, soaking in the sight of her after not seeing her for over a month.

 

“Can I… come in?” she asked hesitantly, and he remembered himself.

 

“Right,” he said, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Come in,” he said in a rush, standing to the side to give her space to walk in the door.

 

“So… how have you been?” she asked, trying to dispel the silence.

 

“Better now,” he said, and when she turned to look at him, she found him staring at her so intensely that it made her squirm a little.

 

“Right, um, okay,” she said, slightly uncomfortably, looking away. Entering the living room, she saw Jiyong sprawled on the couch. “Jiyong-oppa,” she greeted, going to sit on the floor in her usual spot in front of the coffee table, leaning against the sofa.

 

“Minyoung-ah, I missed you,” he said, reaching over to tug on her hair gently.

 

She rested her chin on his knee, hugging his leg. “I missed you too, oppa,” she confessed, and somehow, just like that, everything was all right. Seunghyun brought her the soda he knew she liked from the fridge and as she took it, she beamed up at him, tugging on the hand that was outstretched towards her so he sat down next to her.

 

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” she murmured into Seunghyun’s shoulder.

 

He stroked her hair. “It’s okay, we’re sorry for messing up your assignment.”

 

She lifted her face to look at him, then at Jiyong. “It was brought to my attention that I probably should have been more open about what I was doing,” she said a little sheepishly.

 

He lifted his feet onto the couch then lay down so his face was next to hers. “That might have been a good idea, yes,” he said mildly.

 

She bit her lip, still reluctant to tell them and ruin the nice cozy mood they had going. “I wanted to protect you from the rumour,” she finally said.

 

“What rumour?”

 

She shrugged. She didn’t know all the details since they’d intervened and prevented her from learning about it from Hollaway, but… “All I know is that it was about Seungri.”

 

They were silent for a moment, then Seunghyun said, “He made his own choices.” She could tell they were still upset about it, but it felt like the conversation was over. She squeezed his hand, then turned around to face Jiyong. She knew he’d been closer to Seungri – it had amused her back then how close they’d gotten after the rocky start they’d had, where he refused to talk to the younger boy for three months. She’d felt bad for the younger boy then, and tried to persuade him to be nicer to Seungri, but he’d been stubborn until she’d made up some excuse not to watch that period drama with him and he’d had no one else to watch it with.

 

Smoothing his bangs back from his forehead, she lay her cheek on the seat of the couch next to his face. He didn’t say anything, but picked her hand off his forehead and held it. The three of them just sat like there, enjoying each other’s company quietly for a bit. Silently they agreed not to say anything about the other part of their fight. Minyoung hoped they’d forgotten about it, but she wasn’t going to be so lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a smol update for the handful of people I assume read this.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed, and sorry the updates have been coming less frequently - I've started an internship and have a lot less time to write this now.


	11. Chapter 11

There was something strange that was going on. Minyoung had noticed it first on Sunday, when after dinner Jiyong and Seunghyun had almost gotten into a fight over who would send her home, but she’d dismissed it at the time as just something they’d done because they’d just made up, after all.

 

Then on Monday morning Seunghyun appeared at her front door at seven-thirty, when she knew for a fact that he didn’t have anything scheduled for that day, since they had finished recording and were in between filming music videos. She doubled up the recipe for her usual breakfast smoothie, pouring his half into a glass for him before adding two shots of instant espresso to hers and giving her own smoothie an extra energy shot, as she liked to refer to shitty espresso she kept around.

 

“What are you doing up so early, anyway?” she asked, pouring her own caffeinated smoothie into her to-go cup and screwing on this lid. This was around the time that she usually left home, because she liked to get to the office before everyone else so she could get some work done while it was still quiet. With Seunghyun giving her a ride, the extra work she could complete in the morning meant she might actually be able to go home on time that night, something she was grateful for even though this was very uncharacteristic behavior for him.

 

He put down the cup. “I was up early and thought you might need a ride to work,” he explained, licking smoothie off his lips. Minyoung tried not to follow the movement of his tongue with her eyes.

 

As she was picking up her bag to leave, Seunghyun right behind her, she heard Jiyong’s loud car driving up to her apartment. She looked back at Seunghyun questioningly, but he just shrugged at her.

 

Stepping out of her apartment, Seunghyun stood behind her as she made sure the door was locked, then descended the flight of stairs leading to the road.

 

“Good morning, oppa,” she greeted Jiyong politely.

 

He grinned at her. “Need a ride?”

 

“Oh… Seunghyun-oppa came to offer me a ride too,” she said, looking up at the taller man.

 

They looked at each other and she raised a brow at the sudden tension filling the air. “Guys…” she sighed. “What’s this sudden enthusiasm for driving me to work?”

 

Their gazes turned guilty for a second before they chorused, “Nothing.” Then Seunghyun said firmly, “I’ll bring you to work, and Jiyong can pick you up later when you’re done.”

 

Jiyong looked mutinous for a second, then subsided. “Fine,” he said sulkily, getting back into his car. “Text me when you’re done, I’ll come get you.”

 

“Okay, see you later, oppa,” Minyoung said with a wave, walking the short distance over to where Seunghyun’s car was parked. He hurried over to open the door for her, which was again uncharacteristic, and at this point her eyebrow was raised so high it was about to fly off her forehead.

 

They seemed to settle into a routine where as long as they didn’t have morning schedules, one of them would take her to work. She was always early enough that there was usually nobody around to see her getting out of one of TOP or G-Dragon’s cars, so she didn’t object. It wasn’t until she texted them that she was having dinner with a friend one Friday night and they didn’t need to take her home from work that she started realizing that this situation was getting out of hand, because they first tried to insist on sending her to the restaurant, then home from dinner when she was done.

 

“I don’t even know why they’re being so overbearing all of a sudden, right after we had that fight _because_ they were like that,” Minyoung told Christine in frustration. The other girl was in Korea on a business trip, and of course Minyoung had to take her out for a real Korean dinner at an outdoor vendor.

 

Christine laughed. “You really don’t know why?”

 

Minyoung raised a brow at her over the little glass of soju she’d lifted to her lips.

 

“Wow, you must have been wasted by then,” she cackled. “Alex told them that story about you being turned on by that Uber driver in LA, don’t you remember?”

 

Minyoung groaned. “Shit, that’s right,” she said into her palm. Then she sighed. “At least that’s one mystery cleared up,” she said drolly. Now that she knew they were just trying to hit on her and not actually becoming more weirdly overprotective of her in unnecessary ways, she actually found it kind of cute and funny.

 

Of course, around Christine Minyoung seemed to regress into a twenty-one-year-old fresh college graduate, which meant the two of them drank _way_ too much for two thirty-year-old women, and she did end up having to call Jiyong to pick her up.

 

When he pulled up, she was sitting alone outside the tent, nursing a sweet iced drink that the tent vendor had pressed into her hand while she was paying, seeing how drunk she was. She giggled and waved at Jiyong as she stood up and got in the car, smiling at him widely.

 

“You doing okay? Where’s Christine?” he asked, bemused, as he started driving again.

 

“I put her in a cab back to her hotel,” Minyoung explained, and it never failed to amuse Jiyong how Minyoung was so adept at mothering all her drunk friends while she herself was drunk, but so incapable of taking care of herself. Minyoung shifted around in the seat, then found the control to recline.

 

Turning onto her side to face Jiyong, she asked, “How come you and Seunghyun-oppa suddenly keep trying to ferry me around?” She was pretty sure she knew what the answer was, but she kind of wanted to make him squirm.

 

As expected, he looked shifty for a moment. “No reason,” he tried to bluff his way out of it.

 

Minyoung raised a brow at him.

 

“We just want to make sure you’re safe?” he tried again.

 

The brow stayed up. She’d been taking care of herself for thirteen years just fine, and they both knew that.

 

He huffed and prevaricated for a bit, then changed the subject. Minyoung let him, but smirked because her suspicions had been confirmed. It wasn’t her first time round the block, and it seemed that the way he chased girls hadn’t changed that much since she’d been a teenager and had to be his wingman while he tried to woo the older trainees.

 

(She might have wished at the time that he would use the same tricks on her, and it appeared that her wishes were coming true, albeit thirteen years too late.)

 

She turned away from him to look out the window, watching the streetlights pass as he drove back to her place. Every time she thought about the past, it made her feel so conflicted, fond nostalgia tainted by old resentment and anger, and of course the flutter in her stomach and her heart that could either be an unwelcome souvenir from the teenage years she’d spent nursing her secret crush(es) or an unwelcome infatuation she was really too old to be feeling at this point.

 

Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t realise how close they were to her apartment until Jiyong pulled up outside her building. “Okay, we’re here,” he announced and her gaze snapped back to him.

 

“Yeah,” she said quietly and got out of the car, waiting as he climbed out and locked the car. “Thanks for the ride home, oppa,” she said with a small smile. “I should let you get back to whatever Friday night plans you had.”

 

“I don’t have any plans,” he lied. He could have gone to any number of parties if he’d felt like it, and they both knew it, but even if he hadn’t been thinking recently that he was probably getting too old for the party lifestyle, he would rather have spent the time with Minyoung.

 

“Okay,” she accepted easily. “Would you like to come in and have some tea, then?”

 

He nodded, and followed her up the flight of stairs to her apartment. She got busy puttering around the kitchen getting their drinks ready, chatting idly with him about his day while he sat at the kitchen table, his chin resting on his hand as he watched her. Unbidden, a fantasy started to take shape where he came home to this every night, and it was starting to get weird that even in his mind Seunghyun was there. Because it had always been the three of them, he couldn’t seem to fathom being with Minyoung without Seunghyun rounding out their little group.

 

Sighing, he called the other man to ask where he was. Seunghyun was at an event, but once he heard that Jiyong was at Minyoung’s, he promised to get there as quickly as he could.

 

Minyoung came back to the kitchen table carrying two steaming mugs of tea. “Is he coming?” she asked, having overheard his side of the conversation.

 

“Yeah.”

 

She beamed and sat down across from him. “I might need to buy another chair for the kitchen table,” she mused. When she’d moved in she hadn’t exactly expected to have many visitors, so she’d figured two chairs was enough for the odd guest, but these days Jiyong and Seunghyun were spending a lot of time in her apartment, and it was getting a bit tiring having to sit on the floor around the coffee table because there weren’t enough chairs in the kitchen. She was really getting too old to be spending so much time sitting on the floor.

 

Minyoung tried her best, but before Seunghyun arrived she was already yawning, so Jiyong sent her off to get ready for bed, promising that if Seunghyun turned up before she came out of the shower, he would let him in, no problem.

 

Seunghyun did arrive while she was in the shower, singing along to an English song he’d never heard before. Jiyong went to let the older man in, who was slightly confused when he didn’t see Minyoung in the apartment, until she wailed out a high note in the shower that he heard from the entrance.

 

“Right,” he murmured as he took off his shoes and pushed them against the wall neatly, then stepped into the apartment proper.

 

Minyoung emerged from the bathroom soon after in a cloud of grapefruit-scented steam, a towel draped over her wet head as she carried her phone out with her, still playing music. She placed the phone down on her dresser then came to greet Seunghyun with a hug, one he returned affectionately while rubbing the towel over her head.

 

She giggled as she pulled the towel down over her shoulders. “How was your event?” she asked, pausing the music and tossing her phone on her bed. She took his hand and pulled him into the kitchen, sitting him down while she busied herself fixing him a warm drink.

 

“It was boring… I wish you could have come,” he said, watching her flit around the kitchen. Jiyong came and sat on the other chair at the kitchen table.

 

“Yeah? That might have been fun; I rarely get to see the events that I spend so much time trying to get you guys in,” she said lightly, finishing up the honey lemon tea just the way he liked it and bringing it to him. She set it down in front of him and he picked it up with one hand while wrapping his other arm around her waist. She placed her arm around his shoulders companionly.

 

“Maybe you can come with us to the next event,” Jiyong offered.

 

Minyoung laughed. “As your date?”

 

They both smiled up at her. “If you want.”

 

She burst into giggles at that, laughing so hard she almost fell over and only Seunghyun’s arm around her waist kept her upright. “Right, sure, that’ll go over well,” she scoffed, dabbing at the corners of her eyes. “I’m sure CEO Yang will appreciate us misleading the public into thinking that you two are in a Bella Thorne-esque relationship.”

 

“We could be,” Seunghyun protested, just to play along, though he was only half-joking.

 

Minyoung laughed so hard at that she almost screamed. “I would be literally devoured by all your fangirls!” she said, then put on a falsetto voice to mimic the vitriolic online comments. “’How could she be so selfish, taking two of them?’ ‘How does that even work?’ ‘I can’t believe someone like GD-oppa or TOP-oppa would ever be into someone like her?’”

 

Still giggling, she leaned down to press a kiss to Seunghyun’s cheek. “Thanks for the thought, but I’m good.”

 

He shrugged. “All right, your loss.”

 

She fake pouted as she pinched his cheek playfully, then reached over to tousle Jiyong’s hair. “It really is.”

 

When his makeup came off on her fingers, she rubbed them together and made a face. “Do you want to take off your makeup? It must be uncomfortable by now.”

 

When he nodded, she shooed him off to her bathroom and took the seat he vacated.

 

“Would you really not want to be seen in public with us?” Jiyong asked. It sounded lighthearted, but was really anything but.

 

Minyoung, knowing what he was asking, looked thoughtful for a moment before answering carefully. “I value my privacy,” she said. “The thought of not being able to walk in the streets without people recognizing me, of having people digging into my past… I don’t like it.”

 

He nodded. That was fair enough – it was one of the worst parts of being a celebrity, and to ask her to take on the burden without any of the perks was unreasonable.

 

Seunghyun returned from the bathroom, sans makeup. Minyoung smiled up at him and he asked petulantly, “Where am I supposed to sit?”

 

She laughed. “Wanna sit on my lap?” she suggested facetiously.

 

Instead of doing as she suggested, he picked her up altogether and sat down on the chair, depositing her on his lap. She laughed as she wriggled to get comfortable, but otherwise didn’t protest.

 

Over the top of her head, he shot Jiyong a smirk. The other man rolled his eyes, but otherwise just looked on fondly. He wasn’t sure when it stopped being a competition between him and Seunghyun, but seeing Minyoung in his embrace felt as natural as having her in his own.

 

It wasn’t long before Minyoung was drooping with exhaustion again, looking like a child trying to stay up past her bedtime as she rested her chin on her fist and struggled to keep her eyes open.

 

“Minyoung-ah, you should go to bed,” Jiyong said, looking at her with amusement. Pushing thirty, and she still acted the same way she did at fifteen, insisting that she could stay up late with the boys even though she was half asleep on the ground already. They couldn’t count the number of times she had completely knocked out and one of them had to carry her to the tiny room they shared. It had already been a tight enough squeeze for the five of them, but somehow no one complained when Minyoung stayed over unintentionally, especially because she basically slept on top of Jiyong or Seunghyun anyway and so took up little to no extra space.

 

“Okay,” she yawned. “Thanks for coming,” she said, getting up off Seunghyun and walking them towards the front door.

 

“Goodnight,” Seunghyun said as she hugged him.

 

“Drive safe,” she admonished, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. She then repeated the same with Jiyong, going straight to bed after they left.

 

“For someone who doesn’t want to go out with us, she sure acts confusingly,” Jiyong mused to Seunghyun as they walked down the stairs together.

 

Seunghyun shrugged. “Maybe she’s changing her mind.”

 

At the bottom of the stairs, Jiyong looked up at the older man. “Hyung… do you think she would… with both of us…?” He trailed off, unable to articulate what he wanted to say clearly.

 

Seunghyun looked up at the apartment, which had gone dark now. “Maybe,” he said with a small smile, remembering how easily she’d settled into his arms, so different from the first time she’d sat on his lap when Jiyong had given her a ride home. “Who knows? We’ll have to ask her.”

 

Doing so was easier said than done, however, because Minyoung seemed to have a sixth sense that told her when they were about to broach the subject, and she either changed the subject hastily or left altogether. More than once, they’d been left gaping behind her in the office or cafeteria when she suddenly invented an excuse and scampered off to the office or a meeting that she miraculously remembered was starting in ten minutes.

 

It was getting rather frustrating, and they decided to send in reinforcements.

 

Enter Daesung and Youngbae.

 

After much mocking and laughter, they agreed to try to help probe Minyoung, since she seemed more willing to talk to the others about her relationship(s) with Jiyong and Seunghyun than with the men themselves.

 

It wasn’t uncommon for them to work out together with Minyoung at the YG gym, so when they texted her asking if she wanted to hit the gym after work she didn’t question it. It had been a while since she’d seen them last, since they weren’t at the studio that often now and usually had schedules elsewhere.

 

She was sitting at her desk working till they texted her that they were in the building, then she grabbed her stuff and made her way to the gym. After changing into her workout gear and braiding her hair, she emerged from the dressing room, just in time to see Daesung and Youngbae coming from the men’s locker room.

 

They made small talk as they ran through the workout, catching up with each other on what they’d been up to in the time that they hadn’t seen each other.

 

After showering, Youngbae and Daesung insisted on taking her to dinner at a nearby market, although the two men had to wear hoodies and masks that made it inconvenient to eat. Minyoung was happily eating tteokbokki out of a small paper bowl when Youngbae abruptly asked, “So I heard you made up with Jiyongie and TOP-hyung.” When she hummed in assent, her mouth full, he asked with a smirk, “Have you thought about what we talked about back in New York?”

 

The rice cake that Minyoung had been trying to push up the side of the bowl with her skewer fell onto the ground. Minyoung stared forlornly at the piece of food she’d dropped, then looked up at Youngbae crossly.

 

“We are _not_ talking about that,” she said warningly.

 

He and Daesung shared a mischievous look, and before she knew it, Minyoung was surrounded on either side by the men. She wasn’t short by any means, but with them crowding her like that, she suddenly felt positively tiny.

 

“Minyoung-ah, you should be more respectful to your oppas,” Daesung started.

 

“That’s right,” Youngbae continued seamlessly. “We’re just looking out for you, and we can’t do that if you don’t tell us about what you want.”

 

Minyoung swallowed. “I don’t need – ” she started, but was cut off by Youngbae.

 

“Yes, yes, you don’t need anyone to meddle in your life,” he finished for her. They’d heard this spiel so many times by now.

 

“We know, sweetie, and we’re not trying to meddle,” Daesung lied. “If they have too much baggage it’s fine, but you should at least admit to yourself whether you like them or not. It’ll make things easier for you too.”

 

Minyoung sighed as her shoulders slumped, knowing that Daesung was right. Denial was a child’s game, and she was more than old enough to face up to her own feelings.

 

“I guess so,” she agreed, before stepping away from them to buy some chocolate-covered strawberries on a stick.

 

“Well?” Youngbae prompted expectantly when she walked back to them. She held the stick out in front of him, then Daesung, so they could each have one.

 

“Well what?” she asked with faux innocence.

 

  
“You were going to admit something to yourself?” he asked.

 

She scoffed. “Yeah, to myself, not the whole market.” But the way she evaded his gaze and her cheeks coloured ever so slightly told them what they wanted to know. The way they smirked at each other, and then her, told Minyoung that she’d been found out, and she rolled her eyes.

 

“You guys are the worst,” she grumbled half-heartedly. “I can’t believe I shared my strawberries with you.”

 

Youngbae patted her shoulder. “Don’t worry, knowing Eunran-noona she’ll repay it with interest the next time you come over.” The three of them laughed, knowing how overzealous Taeyang’s wife got about hosting, or food in general, really. Minyoung had invited her to a picnic on the Han river the weekend that Christine had been in town, and Eunran had insisted on ordering takeout from no less than three places, and paying for it all too, declaring that it was only right that they feast since it was getting cold again and would be the last time they could have a picnic till next summer. Of course, Christine and Minyoung’s other friends from work adored her.

 

“Yeah, yeah,” she said, eating the last strawberry on the skewer. “Remind unnie about Friday night for me, please?” she requested. They’d made plans to sing karaoke with Daesung’s girlfriend and some other friends.

 

He nodded absently as he contemplated buying a tall ice cream. Minyoung sighed as she watched him, knowing that some version of their conversation would be making its way back to Jiyong and Seunghyun. She just hoped they didn’t do anything too over-the-top. There were still so many obstacles that she didn’t think she could say yes if they asked for any commitment, and she didn’t think she could say no if they did either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story gets progressively trashier. my apologies.


	12. Chapter 12

Minyoung blinked. This had to be a joke. “What?” she asked, waiting for them to laugh at any moment.

 

“Will you be in our music video?” Jiyong repeated instead.

 

Confused, she slowly looked away from him and towards Seunghyun for clarification.

 

“Taeyang had a troublesome concept idea for the ballad,” Seunghyun sighed. “It’s his song, so they agreed to let him choose the concept, and he wanted to do this raw, intimate concept that showcases different relationships at various stages. Wants some of it to be taken through a phone camera to have a more personal feel, and all that.”

 

“That sounds… very interesting, actually, and different from the usual kpop music videos. Good on him,” Minyoung remarked, taken by the unique concept. “I don’t understand why you’re asking me to do it, though. There’s a literal stable of trainees for you to choose from. God knows any of them would jump at the chance to work with Big Bang.”

 

Jiyong grimaced at the thought of acting in a romantic role across a girl half his age, as most of the trainees were. They’d probably look like cradle snatchers if they went that route. “He’s gotten it into his mind that for our music video to have an impact that matches the song, we should act across from actual women in our lives so that the emotions will be more genuine.”

 

“So he just wanted to do a little project with his wife?”

 

“Definitely.” The two men nodded.

 

“Aw, that’s so cute.” Minyoung couldn’t help the sappy smile that broke out on her face at that. Youngbae and Eunran were definitely relationship goals.

 

Then she remembered what they were actually talking about and frowned. “Are you sure CEO Yang is on board with this? I’m sure he’d rather have an actual actress or trainee in the role than me.”

 

They shrugged. “When Youngbae pitched the idea to him he seemed all for it, just told us to find the right people by ourselves.”

 

“Huh.” It seemed that after being in the game for so long YG had turned over most of the creative control to the band themselves, which was nice.

 

“You’d be paid, like Eunran-noona and Kyungmi.”

 

Minyoung raised a brow. Daesung’s girlfriend was going to be in it too? “Who’s the last girl?” she asked.

 

Jiyong and Seunghyun shared a glance. “What do you mean?” Seunghyun asked, confused.

 

“I mean, there’s four of you, so there should be one more girl, right? Come to think of it, who am I supposed to be acting across from?” She looked up at them.

 

“Uhhh…” Jiyong hesitated, and Seunghyun had to cut in.

 

“Taeyang… decided that our storyline should be a pre-relationship love triangle scenario.”

 

Her jaw dropped and her mouth worked a little, but no words came out. That little shit. She knew he’d done this on purpose after their talk at the market that night.

 

“I, um… that’s not – ” she stammered, unable to put her thoughts into a coherent sentence. Looking down at her hands, fiddling with a pen on her desk, she said quietly, “I think you’d better ask someone else to do it.”

 

“Minyoung-ah…” they tried to persuade her to change her mind, but to no avail. Finally, they sighed and gave up, since they’d been skeptical that she would actually agree to do it in the first place.

 

Minyoung fanned her burning face when they walked away. “Jesus,” she whispered to herself. They would really be the death of her, and she made a mental note to murder Youngbae, slowly and painfully, when she next saw him, for putting her in this position because she _knew_ that he’d done it on purpose to mess with her. Unbidden, images came to her mind of the scenario they’d described to her. Some were sweet, like the three of them hanging out together (and she had an abundance of memories to choose from), but some were… she bit her lip. Fantasies she’d had as a teenager of them sweetly kissing her and sliding her dress off her shoulders blended into thoughts of being slammed up against the wall, a hand on her throat as…

 

Clearing her throat, she took a sip of her water. She should really not be thinking about this at work, although she made a mental note to revisit this later… maybe with the company of her favourite vibrator.

 

And damn Youngbae-oppa, she added in her mind. It sounded a bit hollow, though.

 

The same sentiment resurfaced in her mind more fervently when two hours later, the orchestrator of her torment himself rocked up to her desk. By that time, she was the last one left in the office, so he didn’t bother keeping his voice down.

 

“Why are you ruining my concept?” he whined.

 

Minyoung arched a brow at him. “Your concept of… mocking my situation?”

 

He pouted. “That’s not it at all!” he defended. “I want to capture that feeling of real love, the sweet tension before it becomes official when everything feels like butterflies and possibilities…” he drifts off dreamily, imagining the way the music video would turn out already.

 

Minyoung sighed. “You know that both Jiyong-oppa and Seunghyun-oppa are very capable actors; I’m sure they could have the same chemistry with another actress. Besides,” she added, “I don’t know how I feel about stealing the opportunity from another actress or trainee. You know CEO Yang prefers to keep those roles for them.”

 

“It’ll be different,” he insisted. “Chemistry and real emotion are different, and the song came out so powerful. The visual representation has to be real love, and not just chemistry between two actors.”

 

Hold up. “Real love? Me?” she asked.

 

He just looked at her, and she deflated. “All right, fine,” she muttered reluctantly. Call her a sucker, but she couldn’t say no to Youngbae when he was like this. Not when he so rarely felt strongly enough about anything to act like this, and not when she knew how seriously he took his work. The song the music video was for was basically his baby, she knew. He’d written it in bits and pieces on his breaks from the military, inspired by Eunran and the new burst of love he felt every time he saw her again after having to be away for a long time. She’d heard the song before, and it really had come out spectacularly.

 

He lit up, like… the sun, she supposed.

 

“But,” she added before he could open his mouth to cheer. “I don’t want my face to be shown in the music video, and I don’t want to be credited either. People don’t need to know who I am.”

 

He grinned. That was no impediment at all. With the right camera angles, they could totally work with that. “That’s fine! Kyungmi had the same condition.”

 

Minyoung couldn’t help but smile back at his enthusiasm. His passion for his art was infectious. Although she knew it would be incredibly awkward for her, she was reluctantly honoured to be a part of it.

 

* * *

 

 

Oh, God. This was a bad idea. Minyoung took a sip from the bottle of water that someone had pressed into her hand when she left the set. She couldn’t believe she’d agreed to this. It was going to be a disaster of epic proportions.

 

Filming just the first scene had been difficult, and as she flipped through the script she could see that things weren’t going to get any easier for her. There were some scenes where it was the three of them together, just spending time in each other’s company, but there were also scenes that were filmed with them individually, where the term “unresolved sexual tension” was bolded and underlined at the top of the page.

 

She sighed and prayed for the strength to get through this with her sanity intact, so immersed in her inner turmoil that she didn’t recognize the predatory look that Jiyong and Seunghyun were directing at her from their own chairs.

 

Youngbae, who was preparing to film his scene, smirked. It was all going according to plan. His wife stepped onto the set and he held his hand out to her, the two of them sharing a loving, tender smile that the camera caught, the moment when they were so in sync that it seemed like they could have entire conversations without words. Both of them then looked past the cameras to the three idiots, lips curved up like they were sharing a joke that no one else knew about. With another glance at each other, the two of them walked off the set, Youngbae lifting the hand he was holding to press a kiss to the back of her hand as they went.

 

“Awww,” Minyoung and Kyungmi, who’d come to watch the filming too, said in unison. Minyoung rested her head on the other woman’s shoulder, and Kyungmi petted her head lightly.

 

“They’re so perfect,” Minyoung sighed, slightly envious even though she knew it was ridiculous. The two of them had struggled for so long to get to where they were today, and she knew a relationship as strong as theirs didn’t come easily, without effort and commitment. Still, though.

 

“They’re the most gorgeous couple I’ve ever seen,” Kyungmi agreed.

 

Minyoung lifted her head incredulously. “No way,” she protested. “Unnie, don’t put yourself down like that! You and Daesung-oppa look amazing together too.”

 

Daesung, coming up behind the two of them, chuckled. “Thanks for the compliment, Minyoung-ah.”

 

Minyoung turned back to look at him and then smirked at Kyungmi. “Looks like this is my cue to leave,” she cackled, sliding off her chair.

 

Kyungmi looked at her retreating figure. “You don’t have to go!” she protested.

 

“Stay safe! Don’t have sex on set!” Minyoung just yelled back, laughing.

 

Daesung sighed, sitting down in the seat that Minyoung had vacated. Ever since she’d caught them having a quickie in his car during one of Youngbae’s house parties she hadn’t let them live it down. He supposed he should just be grateful that she hadn’t immediately sprinted back to the house and told everyone what they’d been up to when they’d slipped away. He kissed Kyungmi on the cheek in greeting, and she smiled back at him, and he couldn’t bring himself to feel that bad about it.

 

It was Minyoung’s fault for forgetting her lipstick in Seunghyun’s car and having to go back to get it, anyway, and that was his final position on the matter.

 

She went to the dressing room and sat next to Eunran, who was getting her makeup touched up. Since Minyoung had insisted on her face not being shown, she hadn’t had to do much makeup, so she was living vicariously through the other woman.

 

“What’s up?” Eunran asked, her eyes closed as the stylist reapplied her eyeliner.

 

Minyoung sighed. “This shoot is going to be the death of me.”

 

Opening her eyes, Eunran looked askance at Minyoung and scoffed. “You’ll be fine.” She tilted her head up at the direction of the stylist.

 

Deflating into herself, Minyoung just let out a sad whine.

 

“Why is it so difficult for you all of a sudden? You’ve been flirting with those boys for the better part of a year, and it’s been fine, hasn’t it?”

 

Minyoung groaned, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes. “It’s easier to flirt with them when there are no feelings,” she ground out. Because her face was in her hands, she missed the victorious grin that Eunran sent her way, or the laugh that the stylist stifled. The unconventional relationship the three of them had was starting to make its way around the company, and most people by now had some awareness of what was going on.

 

Eunran was still an angel, though, and no matter how funny she found the situation she was still aware that her friend was in a conflicted position. She reached over and patted Minyoung’s head. “It’s okay, sweetie,” she consoled. “It’s just a couple of days; you’ll be fine.” And she meant it, too, although her definition of ‘fine’ included Minyoung getting her head out of her ass, which was decidedly different from what Minyoung was thinking of.

 

Still, the words worked, and Minyoung lifted her head. “Thanks, unnie,” she said as she left the dressing room.

 

Once she’d left, Eunran looked up at her stylist with a smirk. “What’s up with her? Getting together with G-Dragon and TOP shouldn’t be something that causes one to sigh like that,” the stylist commented.

 

Eunran rolled her eyes. “The girl’s issues have issues,” she sighed.

 

Minyoung returned to set to watch the filming. They were running through the choreography and she bit her lip as she sat down to watch, resting her chin on her hand.

 

When they were done, Jiyong and Seunghyun made a beeline for her, Seunghyun resting his forearm on top of her head and leaning on her while Jiyong stood in front of her.

 

“Stop it, you’re sweaty,” she laughed, and when she was with them it seemed as if all of the stuff she’d been worrying about earlier just faded away. Being with them seemed so natural and easy, like she’d been born to be there with them. She pulled Seunghyun’s arm off her head by holding on to his hand, then didn’t let go, just interlocking her fingers with his as his arm draped over her shoulder.

 

“You guys looked good,” she complimented with a sunny smile.

 

“Aw, thank you, Minyoung-ah,” Jiyong said with a cocky grin.

 

“Yeah, Parris did a great job with the choreography,” she continued as if she hadn’t heard him, returning his grin with one of her own.

 

Seunghyun groaned and leaned onto her, resting his chin on her head. “Minyoung-ah, you’re so mean,” he sulked.

 

She raised her arm to reach the top of his head, then petted it gingerly, making sure not to mess up the hairstyle that had probably taken longer than it looked. “Aww,” she said. “You’ll live.”

 

They then had to go to wardrobe to change for their next scene together while Daesung and Kyungmi were filming. It was a tight schedule, since they were planning to complete the music video in two days, and Minyoung found herself grateful for it because it meant less time to sit about and think about what was happening, which she knew could only lead to bad things.

 

She hadn’t really been involved with the creative process of conceptualizing the music video, so while she did have a script and had read through it before arriving that morning, it was still somewhat of a mystery what the stylists would choose for her to wear. The next scene they were filming was a casual movie night in, and the stylist selected a hanger from the rack with the appropriate label and thrust it at her. Bowing in thanks, she took it and made her way over to a corner, where she stripped out of the cute dress she’d been wearing for the first scene and pulled on the oversized shirt and leggings, laughing a little when she saw that the shirt was a GTOP merchandise. It appeared that whoever had chosen this for her had a sense of humour.

 

When she reemerged from the dressing room, she saw Jiyong and Seunghyun clad in similarly casual clothing. “Minyoung-ah, you look good in that shirt,” Seunghyun complimented with a smirk.

 

“You like seeing your face on me?” Minyoung parried, gratified to see him flush a little even as he winked at her. “How narcissistic,” she joked, rolling her eyes. When his smile dropped off his face, she laughed and hugged him.

 

“You’ll be the death of me,” he said even as he hugged her back.

 

Minyoung pulled back. “Promise?”

 

He and Jiyong just laughed as they started walking back to set. Minyoung marveled at how quickly they’d managed to transform it altogether, turning it into a cozy-looking living room.

 

“Okay, Minyoung-ssi, sit in the middle of the couch, please. GD-ssi and TOP-ssi, sit on either side of her. TOP-ssi, please turn a little so your profile faces the camera.”

 

They took their positions, Seunghyun sitting sideways on the couch, leaning against the armrest, as he faced Minyoung.

 

They were supposed to look casual, just chat like friends. It was a little difficult for Minyoung to relax at first since she wasn’t used to all the lights and cameras, but Jiyong took her hand in his and rubbed circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. “It’s okay,” he said with a small smile. “Tell me about how you managed to get the time off from work to come here.”

 

Minyoung rolled her eyes, but some of the tension started leaving her shoulders. “You know very well how it went,” she scoffed, resting her head on his shoulder as she held her other hand out to Seunghyun. “Half of my colleagues were so jealous they refused to talk to me at all after finding out, and the other half were so appalled that I would even consider taking on a performance role, thus robbing one of the artists of the opportunity, that they refused to talk to me.”

 

Seunghyun laughed. “They’ll get over it.”

 

Minyoung turned to him with a raised brow. “Oh, they will, will they?” she asked, amused against her will.

 

“If they know what’s good for them, they will,” Jiyong murmured, and Minyoung looked up at him, her cheek still resting on his shoulder. He looked down at her and wrapped his arm around her, stroking her hair with the hand that was resting on her shoulder.

 

Minyoung laughed at him. “You can’t bully the entire marketing team,” she chided.

 

“Can’t we?” Seunghyun asked, brows raised. Turning to him, Minyoung laughed as she reached over to ruffle his hair. “I’m sure you could do anything you wanted to, oppa, but what I meant was that you _shouldn’t_ ,” she emphasized.

 

Seunghyun reached over to tuck her hair behind her ear. “All right, if you say so,” he acquiesced with a soft smile.

 

“Cut!” the director called out. “Okay, that was a good first take, but for the next try I want you to sit closer together. Look like you’re all best friends. Maybe we can get some popcorn or snacks.”

 

They adjusted the camera angles and someone managed to find some ice cream, and they started the second take, with Minyoung’s head resting on Jiyong’s shoulder while her feet were propped up on Seunghyun’s lap. She was saying something while spooning ice cream straight from the pint in her hand to her mouth, and when Seunghyun said something funny, her whole face lit up as she laughed, the spoon caught between her teeth, before she half-sat up to feed Seunghyun a mouthful with the same spoon.

 

The first day flew by like that, and when they were finally cleared to go home it was past ten and Minyoung was about dead on her feet, with a whole new respect for the boys and what they did for a living. She snoozed on a couch in the dressing room as they took off their makeup and changed back into their own clothes, then Seunghyun woke her up gently to take her home.

 

“Oppa, good work today,” she murmured through a yawn as she slid off the couch and half-fell to the ground. Seunghyun steadied her as he shared an amused and exasperated glance with Jiyong. A sleepy Minyoung was basically nonfunctional, and he knew they hadn’t had enough coffee on set to keep her going today.

 

“Good work on that too,” Jiyong joked, nodding at the way Seunghyun was basically the only thing keeping Minyoung from crumpling to the ground.

 

Minyoung yawned again and blinked hard, righting herself as the fog cleared from her mind. “Thanks, oppa,” she said, stepping away from him.

 

They walked towards the carpark as a group, before splitting up into their respective cars. Before getting into the car with her husband, Eunran hugged Minyoung and patted her on the head. “Get some rest, okay?” she advised the younger woman.

 

“Thanks, unnie,” Minyoung responded with a smile. “This is such hard work, I don’t know how you do it all the time.”

 

Eunran laughed a little. “It’s nothing, you just have to make sure to take good care of your health. Go back and get some sleep.”

 

Minyoung waved at the departing cars of Daesung and Youngbae, before turning back to Jiyong and Seunghyun. “Are you guys going to fight over who brings me home now?”

 

Jiyong coughed, both amused and embarrassed at the matter-of-fact way she asked the question.

 

“We already fought over it, and I won,” Seunghyun informed her, a hand on the small of her back guiding her to his car, where he opened the passenger side door for her and waited for her to get in.

 

“Good night, Jiyong-oppa,” she called, waving. “See you tomorrow!” Then she got into the two-seater, clicking her seatbelt into place as Seunghyun went around the car and got into the driver’s seat.

 

“So? How was your first day of filming?” Seunghyun asked as he pulled out of the parking lot.

 

Minyoung hummed as she thought. “It was good,” she finally said. “I think being on the other side of things will really give me a better appreciation for what the idols go through, and it can only be good in my line of work.”

 

Seunghyun rolled his eyes. “Are you practicing what you’re going to tell your colleagues on me?”

 

Minyoung smiled sheepishly. Guilty. “Well, it was fun, and interesting,” she said more sincerely. “I’m glad I got to see you guys at work and even participate. The last time I saw, in New York, I wasn’t able to stick around as much. You guys are really talented,” she complimented, reaching over to pat his leg.

 

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Seunghyun said, taking one hand off the steering wheel to put his hand on top of hers.

 

Minyoung hummed in acknowledgement, then asked playfully, “So how would you rank me, out of all of your co-stars?”

 

He pretended to think about it for a moment, then said, “Definitely top three,” in an overly serious voice.

 

Minyoung giggled. “Really?”

 

He nodded, then half-turned his face and winked at her, still being careful to watch the road ahead of them. “Who would have thought that it would be so easy for you to pretend to be in love with us?”

 

Minyoung thought, but didn’t say, that it didn’t exactly require much acting when it had been her reality for almost half her life.

 

Before long, they had pulled up in front of Minyoung’s building, and Seunghyun killed the engine. Minyoung was tempted to invite him into her apartment for a while, but it had been a long day and there was another long day tomorrow, so she forced herself to leave after leaning in to kiss him on the cheek in thanks, trying to convince herself that this was normal, since she kissed Alex and Elliot like this all the time.

 

“Good night, oppa,” she said softly when she pulled back to sit in her seat. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Then she got out of the car and, with one last wave, went up the stairs to her apartment. She groaned as she kicked off her shoes and went to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for bed. She definitely needed the rest, because the next day was bound to be even more intense than today had been, with most of the scenes she had been dreading being filmed tomorrow.

 

The next morning, she arrived on set and immediately went to the dressing room to find the stylist and get her costume. She was there later than Seunghyun and Jiyong because some of their scenes were being filmed first thing in the morning, and she hadn’t been involved. They’d offered her a ride to the set, but she’d demurred since she didn’t want to have to wake up earlier and sit around the set in the morning doing nothing.

 

When she was ready, she made her way out to the edge of the set, sitting in a spare seat while watching as Kyungmi and Daesung wrapped up the scene they were filming. They had such a wholesome and loving relationship that it seemed almost like they were surrounded by a literal glowing aura whenever they were together, and it never failed to bring a smile to Minyoung’s face.

 

Seunghyun, who was filming the next scene with her, came up beside her to watch too. “Aren’t they lovely together,” she sighed, leaning her head against his arm as he hummed in agreement.

 

The next scene was just her and Seunghyun, and she slid off the chair when they called for them. “After you, milady,” he said, gesturing for her to walk ahead of him, and she gave him a bemused smile as she did so.

 

“Okay, Minyoung-ssi, I want you to stand with your back to the camera, leaning against the pole,” the director said. The scene was supposed to be of Seunghyun sending her home, and the set had been made to look like a train. Minyoung smoothed down her pencil skirt and adjusted her collar as she took the position she’d been instructed to, one hand grasping on to the pole behind her. Seunghyun stood in front of her, facing the camera, as he looked down at her with a soft smile.

 

“Minyoung-ssi, lean into him a little, like you’re interested in what he’s saying,” the director instructed, and Minyoung swallowed as she did so, looking up at Seunghyun as she adjusted her position.

 

“Do you ever think that if life had been different, this could have been our lives for real?” Seunghyun asked her in a low voice, and Minyoung’s eyes widened. “Uhh…” she said intelligently, flushing because that had crossed her mind more than once.

 

“Minyoung-ah, you’re so cute when you blush like that,” he murmured dangerously, crowding closer to her as he reached behind her to grasp the pole right next to her head.

 

Losing herself to the role, she smiled up at him, allowing herself to believe that he really meant what he’d said and wasn’t just playing it up for the camera. “Thank you, oppa,” she responded, the hand that wasn’t holding on to the pole going to fiddle with his tie, smoothing it against his chest in a flimsy excuse to touch him.

 

She bit her lip as she looked up at him again, her gaze heated. “Oppa,” she breathed as he dipped his head a little, looking for all the world like he was going to kiss her. The hand that wasn’t gripping on to the pole came to rest on her face, his thumb stroking her cheek.

 

“Minyoung-ah,” he rasped, his voice abruptly deeper.

 

Wordlessly, she let go of the pole and wrapped both arms around his neck. Just as he was about to lean down further, the director yelled, “Cut!” interrupting them.

 

“Wow, good job, guys,” he complimented. “I think we managed to get it in one take,” he said, starting to watch the footage on the little television they had set up nearby. “Minyoung-ssi, you’re a natural.”

 

Minyoung looked like a deer in headlights, staring up at Seunghyun with wide eyes. She’d completely forgotten that they were acting, and had been about to kiss him for real. As if she’d been scalded, she ripped her hands from him and wrenched herself away from the pole, almost running off set. “Thanks, PD-nim,” she said hastily, hoping that the bright lights on set would explain her burning cheeks.

 

She ran straight to the restroom, locking herself in and leaning against the door with her eyes closed. “Oh, my God,” she groaned in despair. She wasn’t going to survive this, she was sure of it. That intense stare would be the death of her.

 

Seunghyun, on the other hand, looked quite pleased with himself as he left the set to watch the footage they’d just taped. His hand tingled from where he’d touched her face, and he couldn’t stop thinking about the way she’d looked as he’d been leaning in to kiss her, her eyes half-lidded as her arms had tightened around his neck slightly. He’d forgotten about the cameras too, until the director had yelled out, and if he was being honest, the ease with which she could make him forget everything that was happening other than her was a little concerning, but more than that, it solidified his certainty that she was the one for him.

 

Taeyang came up behind him to watch, since it was his turn to film next. “Wow,” he said as he saw the almost-kiss. He could feel the intensity even through the tiny screen, and even though he couldn’t see Minyoung’s face, her body language was abundantly clear.

 

Seunghyun jerked in surprise as he heard Taeyang, whipping around to look at the younger man almost guiltily. It was irrational and stupid, since they were literally filming for a music video, but he felt almost possessive over the video clip, because it was so intimate and personal.

 

Taeyang ignored the stare, looking closer. “That looks so real,” he said, smiling in satisfaction. “I knew Minyoung was the right choice for the role.” He clapped Seunghyun on the shoulder.

 

They had a short break while the set was being transformed, so they got delivery to the set. Minyoung was nowhere to be found, but Jiyong ordered kimchi stew for her, knowing it was one of her favourites. When it arrived, Minyoung was still in the restroom, trying to give herself a pep talk in the mirror.

 

“Minyoung-ssi?” she heard Kyungmi calling her name as she knocked on the restroom door. “I know it has to be you in there, because the food just arrived and literally everyone else is grabbing their food.”

 

“Y-yeah, I’ll just be a minute, unnie!” Minyoung said hastily as she splashed some water on her face to try and cool off. Patting her face dry with a paper towel, she wrenched the door open a little too forcefully, causing Kyungmi to look at her with a slightly alarmed expression.

 

“Minyoung-ssi, you okay?” she asked, trailing behind Minyoung.

 

“Huh? Uh, yeah, I’m fine,” Minyoung said less than convincingly.

 

Like a lightbulb had gone off in her head, Kyungmi asked, “Is it the scene you had to film earlier?”

 

“Um, no, of course not,” Minyoug denied too vehemently to be believed. “I’m totally fine, see?” Unfortunately, even her body didn’t seem to agree with her assessment, and she tripped over her own heel and stumbled.

 

“Right,” Kyungmi said, unconvinced, as she went to help Minyoung get back on her feet. She’d never seen Minyoung this flustered in the entire time she’d known her.

 

“I’m here, I’m here,” Minyoung called out as she ran to the table where the food was set out. “Did you get anything for me? Sorry I didn’t reply the group text.”

 

“No,” Jiyong deadpanned. “There’s nothing for you.”

 

Minyoung pouted at him, knowing him well enough to know he was joking. Rolling his eyes, he pointed to the food already laid out beside him, Seunghyun smirking at them from across the table.

 

“Thanks, oppa,” she sang as she sat down at the table, picking up her chopsticks and uncovering the rice. “Mmm, kimchi stew, my favourite,” she sighed as she dug in.

 

After lunch, the three of them were filming a scene, and then Taeyang and his wife were filming before Jiyong and Minyoung had a scene together. Minyoung put her dishes back in the plastic bucket before going to the dressing room to get ready while the others went to touch up their makeup.

 

The next scene they were filming was no less intense for the fact that it was the three of them. Minyoung had read the entire scene with raised brows, wondering if Youngbae had really thought this through when he included this scene. It was bound to be controversial, given how suggestive it was with three people. The States was barely coming around to these concepts, and he wanted to feature it in his music video? How had CEO Yang approved it?

 

Minyoung squeezed into a bodycon dress that was way too short to be decent in Korea, the hem stopping right under her butt. She sighed as she slid her feet into the heeled sandals that had been provided, rotating her ankles a little. Their commitment to the concept was laudable, and the stylist had picked out a great outfit, but why was it that she was constantly being made to dress like this for her job?

 

Done with her outfit, she went to sit in the hair and makeup area, so she could finish preparing for the scene. Most of the scenes didn’t really require any makeup, since her face was mostly obscured, but since it was a clubbing scene they’d decided that a little makeup would help set the mood, with red lipstick being a must for one moment in the script where the lower half of her face would be on film.

 

The makeup artist applied some light makeup to her face, carefully painting the red lipstick on, while the hairstylist pulled her long hair back into a high messy ponytail, loosely curling the ends and leaving shorter layers to fall around her face, framing it. The hairstyle elongated her neck and made the jewelry she was wearing more prominent, the long, dangly earrings that were so trendy and a delicate chain around her neck. They were pieces from a brand that was sponsoring the music video and had wanted the accessories to be shown on every female featured in the video, even after being told that only Min Hyorin’s face would actually be shown.

 

Minyoung sighed longingly as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. “These pieces are so gorgeous,” she told the stylist. “I wish I could keep them.”

 

The makeup artist looked at them appraisingly. “They are pretty, and they really suit you,” she agreed. “You might be able to keep them, though. You have to check the details of the contract. Sometimes the companies just give the pieces to the artists doing the sponsorships.”

 

“Really?” Minyoung lit up, making a mental note to check the contract.

 

Seunghyun and Jiyong, entering the makeup area to come get Minyoung, heard the conversation and glanced at each other. They knew this jeweler wasn’t big on gifting pieces in this way, especially the more expensive ones, which Minyoung was wearing. They didn’t say anything to Minyoung about it when they were walking to the set, but while Minyoung was being briefed by the producer they quickly arranged to buy the pieces for her.

 

“Okay, you’re in a club trying to forget about them, a little drunk, and they come to get you,” the producer told her. Minyoung nodded; she’d read the script too. “This scene gets a little charged, so I need you to really lean into the emotion.”

 

Ah, there was the hard part. Minyoung pursed her lips as she nodded, determined to get it right as soon as possible so she wouldn’t need to keep repeating it.

 

Stepping onto the set, Minyoung waded through the throngs of extras, mostly trainees, who were already on the ‘dance floor’. An old song from Big Bang was playing to set the rhythm and scene, and Minyoung made her way to the spot marked with an X for her, swaying to the rhythm. Someone pressed a glass into her hand, and she took it, lifting it to her lips. It was just juice, but it looked like a mixed drink.

 

Jiyong and Seunghyun entered on cue, pushing aside the extras to reach Minyoung. Jiyong took the drink from her hand while Seunghyun started berating her for her irresponsible decisions, coming out alone without telling them where she was going and not answering her phone. Minyoung snapped something back and tried to walk away, but the crowded floor made it difficult to move, and Seunghyun grabbed her wrist, pulling her out of the club.

 

The scene cut to them dragging her down the street away from the club, while Minyoung stumbled while trying to keep up with their pace. Finally, she wrenched her wrist from Seunghyun’s grasp, and stood still, her back facing the camera. They both turned to look at her, eyes glinting dangerously.

 

“Stop it!” she cried out, tears running down her face even though – or maybe because – she knew the cameras wouldn’t pick it up and no one other than the two of them would know about how weak she was. She raised a trembling fist from her side and rubbed it across her face roughly, impatiently. “Enough,” she said brokenly. “I can’t keep doing this, when we all know nothing is going to come from it. It’s too difficult,” she whispered, looking down, the hair that wasn’t in the ponytail partially obscuring her face.

 

Jiyong stepped forward and grabbed her arm, pulling her into the alley they were conveniently standing in front of, Seunghyun following behind closely. He pushed her against the wall and slammed his hand into the brick next to her face, where a marker had been placed for him so that his arm would hide her face. Seunghyun stood on the other side of Minyoung, facing the camera, crowding close to her.

 

“What are you talking about?” Seunghyun asked quietly. “What’s too difficult, Minyoung-ah?”

 

She bit her lip and tore her gaze away from Jiyong, turning to look at Seunghyun. The movement made the earrings sway and catch the light. “Being with you without… being with you,” she whispered. “You always give me too much hope,” she confessed, tears welling in her eyes again.

 

Jiyong leaned further in, so his forehead almost touched hers. “Minyoung-ah, if you want to be with us… you only need to ask,” he said, his voice deeper than she’d ever heard before. Seunghyun raised his hand to her face, cupping her cheek in the same way he’d done earlier, and Minyoung leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes, waiting for them to kiss her, one hand fisted in Seunghyun’s shirt and the other holding on to the arm that Jiyong had raised.

 

“Cut!” the director yelled, ending the moment. Minyoung felt electrified, raw, like someone had peeled her skin away from her body and left her exposed. Her hands fell to her sides limply as she swallowed hard, just trying to get her composure back enough that she could leave the set without crumbling into a million pieces.

 

“Minyoung-ah…” Seunghyun said hesitantly, reaching out to touch her shoulder. When she turned to look at him, the expression on his face, matching perfectly how she felt inside, made her stomach flip again. His eyes were blown, and he was breathing hard, looking wild.

 

“I have to go… use the restroom,” Minyoung mumbled as she tore herself away from the two of them, hightailing it off the set.

 

Jiyong sighed, watching her retreating figure. “Do you think that was too much?” he asked Seunghyun. The older man shrugged. It wasn’t like he’d had much control over anything that had happened during the entire filming process. The moment they were placed in situations like that… everything that had happened had been real, genuine reactions, and not acting.

 

The only reason he wasn’t as distressed as Minyoung at how emotionally charged their scenes had been was that wow they were sure that Minyoung felt the same way about them as they did about her. That was the most important. Other than that, any issues could be resolved.

 

“You should go get ready for your next scene,” was all Seunghyun said to the younger man, who grunted in acknowledgement as he walked off the set, hands in his pockets. A moment later, Seunghyun followed suit, so that they could prepare the set for the next scene. Since he was about done filming, he went to the makeup room to take off his makeup and change into the more comfortable clothes he’d come to set in.

 

Minyoung, meanwhile, was resisting the temptation to just take off her heels and run straight home, dress, makeup and accessories that weren’t hers be damned. The final scene with Jiyong was the last one she would be involved in, then she could go home and scream herself to pieces.

 

“Lee Minyoung, fighting,” she muttered to herself in the dressing room as she wriggled out of her bodycon dress and into the final outfit she had, another office outfit. This time, it was a navy sheath dress with thin shoulder straps that stopped just below her knee, and classic black pumps – with kitten heels, of course, because Jiyong was barely taller than her as it was. The hairstylist pulled her hair out of the ponytail and into a loose French braid, while the accessories were swapped out for simple stud earrings. Minyoung helped herself to the makeup removing wipes left on the counter, wiping away the tear-streaked makeup with a grimace.

 

“Minyoung-ssi, would you like me to do your makeup again?” the makeup artist asked, watching her remove the makeup from the previous scene.

 

“Uh, sure, why not?” Minyoung shrugged, hoping the little bit of extra time without having to face Jiyong and Seunghyun again would help to calm her nerves. The makeup artist quickly reapplied the base and blended a neutral eyeshadow across her lids, adding a quick swipe of lip gloss and blush. The look was deliberately kept simple since it was a work-appropriate look, so it didn’t take long before Minyoung was out of excuses and had to go back to the set.

 

Steeling herself, she left the dressing area and went back to set, where Jiyong was already waiting for her, having gotten ready while she was having her meltdown.

 

“Minyoung-ah, are you ready?” he asked. No, she thought but didn’t say, nodding instead.

 

The final scene she had to shoot was an office scene, where the two of them flirted until Jiyong pulled her into an empty stairwell. Wordlessly, she stepped onto the set, taking a seat at the desk that was supposed to be hers. Her back was facing the camera, while Jiyong’s desk, across from hers, was set up so that when he turned to the side to look at her, his face was clearly seen just above her shoulder. Clips of them staring at each other, making eye contact, and then looking away shyly escalated into him coming over to her desk to chat, perched on the edge of her table, or her going over to talk to him, her hip leaning against the partition, then coming closer and closer to each other until finally he grabbed her hand and started walking quickly with her.

 

The scene cut to him dragging her into the stairwell, although she obviously wasn’t objecting, her body language soft and relaxed as he backed her against the wall. Again, his arm was placed just right to obscure her face from the camera as he leaned in, and she smirked at him as her hands fisted in his shirt on either side of his waist, pulling his body closer to hers. He leaned in for a kiss.

 

“Cut!” the director yelled, but it was as if neither of them heard. With the song playing in the background setting the mood, and both of them still on edge from the earlier scene, Jiyong didn’t move, and Minyoung finally pulled his body flush to hers, and tilted her head up at the same time so that his lips crashed into hers as he jerked forward.

 

One second passed, then two, of neither of them moving a muscle. Then it seemed as if both of them jolted into action at the same time, Jiyong’s hand leaving the wall to cradle her face as his other arm wrapped around her waist, while Minyoung let go of Jiyong’s shirt and wrenched herself away from him.

 

“Wait, wha – ” Jiyong mumbled, a little confused, blinking rapidly. One moment he’d had his arms full of Minyoung and finally, finally, his mouth on hers, and the next she was just gone. It felt a little cold now without her warmth pressed up against him, although he knew that was ridiculous.

 

Minyoung was staring at him in horror, hands pressed to her mouth. “Oh, God,” she whispered. This was it, her worst nightmare. Now she would have to listen to him and Seunghyun tell her that despite whatever chemistry they’d had going on, they would never want to be with her, or worse yet, it would ruin their friendship altogether.

 

Before Jiyong could form a coherent sentence, she dashed off the set, almost crashing into Seunghyun who was standing at the edge of the set watching. His reaction was faster than Jiyong’s, and he reached out and grabbed her before she could right herself and start running again, holding her close.

 

“Hey, hey, shh,” he soothed as she cried into his shoulder. “Let’s go back to my room and we can talk about it, okay?” That was the last thing Minyoung wanted to do, but she wasn’t exactly in a position to object, so she just let him guide her into his small private space and sit her down on the couch.

 

He took the box of tissues from the table and set it down on the couch next to her, rubbing her back and making soothing noises as she cried herself out. When she seemed to be winding down, blowing her nose and wiping her eyes, he finally spoke again.

 

“What’s got you so bothered?” he asked mildly, holding her hand and rubbing the back of her palm with his thumb absently.

 

Minyoung sighed and looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes. “I don’t even know where to begin,” she sighed, leaning back against the couch and curling into his body. He wrapped his arm around her, moving purely by habit at this point.

 

“Well… what are you thinking about now?”

 

She shrugged helplessly, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes. “It’s just such a mess, you know? I didn’t even know I could feel like this about anyone, much less two people, and… oh, God.” Realising what she had said, Minyoung got up and started making a beeline for the door.

 

Half-laughing, Seunghyun grabbed her hand before she could get too far. “Wait, wait, wait,” he protested. “Where are you going? We were in the middle of a conversation. Is this how you treat your oppa?”

 

Having no choice since Seunghyun refused to let go of her hand no matter how hard she pulled, Minyoung sat down grumpily, unwilling to say another word.

 

“Minyoung-ah, please keep going?” Seunghyun cajoled her, until she had no choice but to do as he asked.

 

“All right, fine, okay? I might have a teensy little crush on you and Jiyong-oppa, but it’s fine, I’m working on it, all right? I just need some time, that’s all. Things don’t have to change, and I don’t want you to treat me any differently and – ” her rant was cut off by Seunghyun tugging on her hand so she lost her balance and leaned on him, then kissing her for the first time.

 

Unsure for a second how to respond, Minyoung’s mind finally kicked in and she started kissing him back, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer to her.

 

Jiyong chose that moment to burst into the room, whining when he saw them kissing. “You guys didn’t wait for me?!” he complained as he came to sit on Minyoung’s other side.

 

Minyoung laughed. She’d never felt this happy in her life, and without a word, she fisted her hand in Jiyong’s shirt and yanked him close to kiss him too, although it was hard because they were both smiling so much. Later, the three of them left together with barely a goodbye to the others, Minyoung riding in Jiyong’s car and Seunghyun following in his, back to her apartment, where they spent the rest of the night just enjoying each other’s company now that everything felt like it had been sorted out.


	13. Chapter 13

The second Minyoung got the door open, they were on her again, Jiyong crowding her into the apartment, leaving the door open. Minyoung kissed him back with just as much ardor, then squirmed out of his grasp, laughing. “Wait, the door!” she exclaimed. “Paparazzi is going to surround my house at all hours if you keep giving my neighbours a show,” she joked.

 

Seunghyun, coming up behind them, closed the door with resounding finality. Minyoung heard the jingle that meant it was locked, as Seunghyun stared at her with smoldering eyes. “No one is going to see you like this, ever,” he said dangerously, and the gleam in his eyes let her know he meant it.

 

Minyoung bit her lip, more turned on than she should be by such a blatantly possessive statement, as Seunghyun backed her against the wall and gently pulled her lip from her teeth with his thumb. “You don’t know what it does to me when you do that,” he breathed before he leaned in to kiss her again.

 

She wondered why he was in such an odd position, standing slightly to the side so she had to crane her neck to reach him, until she felt Jiyong’s lips attach themselves to her neck, sucking and biting down in a way that was sure to leave marks tomorrow.

 

“Stop…” she protested halfheartedly. “I have work tomorrow, I can’t go in with hickeys.”

 

“I’ll loan you a scarf,” he said dismissively as his hand moved up her neck to her face, turning it so that he could have his turn kissing her.

 

Minyoung giggled as she pushed him away so she could take off her shoes. “Stop…” she said, the smile she couldn’t stop giving her voice a lilt. “We’re not going to stand in the entrance of my apartment all night, are we?” she asked, going to the kitchen.

 

“Do you guys want dinner?” she asked, looking in the fridge. “I don’t have much, though…” she said, frowning, pulling various Tupperware containers full of leftovers out and laying them out. “Take your pick, I guess…” she offered, going back to the fridge to pull out the container of rice she’d cooked last weekend for the week. Thankfully it looked like there was enough for three people, since she’d not eaten at home for the past few days.

 

They came over and peered at the contents of the various containers. Stews, leftover street food, and something she’d meal prepped and then forgotten about.

 

“This is the most… varied meal I’ve ever seen,” Jiyong eventually said, looking at the assortment of leftovers she’d heated up for them.

 

Minyoung reached over and smacked Jiyong. “I didn’t know you guys were coming over,” she defended.

 

He laughed and leaned over to kiss her cheek. “I wasn’t complaining,” he assured her. “How could I, when you went to get another chair for your dining table for us?”

 

She smiled reluctantly, mollified.

 

Seunghyun, already eating, smiled at them. They really were very cute, especially Minyoung.

 

After eating, Minyoung left the dishes in the sink and went to the freezer. Jiyong thought he fell in love with her again when Minyoung revealed the stash of his favourite ice creams that she’d stocked up on for when he came over, and Seunghyun might have teared up when she showed him the American chips he’d loved under her sink.

 

She laughed at their over-the-top reactions. “Guys, it’s just snacks,” she said, squealing as Seunghyun lifted her over his shoulder and carried her to the bed.

 

“Stop!” she cried out, giggling as he dropped her on the bed and stretched out next to her.

 

“Your bed is so comfortable,” he groaned, rolling around on it slightly as she inched closer to the wall to avoid his flailing limbs.

 

“Oppa,” she protested, tugging on his arm to get him to come closer. He obliged, rolling almost onto her, leaving space for Jiyong on the bed.

 

They didn’t end up sleeping together that night, just talking and enjoying each other’s company until all three fell asleep cuddled together. That wasn’t Minyoung’s usual MO, but being in a triad was different for her, and the newness made it feel almost like her first relationship all over again, with that cute boy in eighth grade who’d written her a little poem on a Post-it note.

 

When Minyoung woke up to her alarm, Jiyong and Seunghyun both groaned as she sat up, dislodging them. “Noooo,” Seunghyun protested childishly, rolling on top of her so she couldn’t move. “It’s too early.”

 

Minyoung pushed at him. “Oppa, I have to turn off the alarm,” she cajoled and he finally shifted his weight off her, allowing her to sit up to grab her phone. When she then made to get out of bed altogether, he grabbed onto her hand and wouldn’t let go, becoming dead weight clinging to her.

 

“Oppa, please, I have to go to work!” she protested, trying not to wake Jiyong up. He could sometimes be scary when he was woken up before he was ready.

 

Too late. Jiyong stirred, and she paused, holding her breath and keeping very still in the hopes that he would just go back to sleep. Back in the day she’d always had a hard time when Jiyong was the one who let her share his mattress, because he would put her right next to the wall where she couldn’t leave her position without crawling over him, which would wake him up. She remembered the first time she’d tried to creep out of the room to use the restroom, and Jiyong had reached over and grabbed her ankle so she almost fell to the ground. She would have, too, if Seungri hadn’t already been awake and grabbed her just in time.

 

He rolled over and found Seunghyun, snuggling into the older man as Minyoung tried to stifle a laugh at the shocked look on his face. Taking advantage of the fact that his grip had slackened just for a moment, Minyoung pulled her hand out of his grasp and fled to the bathroom, but not before cooing about how cute her boyfriends were.

 

“Minyoung-ah, this is not over!” she heard Seunghyun call from the bed, giggling as she turned on the tap to brush her teeth.

 

When Minyoung came out of the shower, she was in a far worse mood than when she’d entered. The outfit she’d picked out for work that day dangled from her grasp, and she threw it carelessly on the back of the chair as she opened the closet again, scowling.

 

Because her back was to the bed, Seunghyun didn’t notice her expression, just the fact that she was wearing just her underwear. Pushing Jiyong away and rolling his eyes at the discontented murmur the other man let out, he got out of the bed and came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and fastening his mouth to her neck.

 

To his surprise, she twisted out of his grasp and turned to frown at him. “You are _not_ doing that again,” she hissed at him.

 

Still a little bleary since the sun was barely peeking through the windows at this point, he blinked in surprise. “What?” he asked, confused.

 

Instead of saying anything, she pointed to her neck, where bruises of various sizes and shapes were blooming.

 

Seunghyun tried to look contrite instead of smug, but the look she shot him told him he wasn’t quite nailing it.

 

“Oppa, I have to go to work, and these are way too high to cover!” she protested.

 

“They’re not all from me,” he defended. As objections went, it was pretty weak, but he really didn’t have much else to say for himself. It wasn’t like he could admit how much it turned him on that she was wearing his mark.

 

Minyoung swatted at him, but there was no real heat behind it. “Next time don’t do it places I can’t hide when I have to go to work the next day,” she scolded, and it took his mind a second to process the fact that she’d not told him to stop altogether.

 

When the pieces finally fell into pieces in his mind, he grinned and pulled her close again. “You like wearing my marks, don’t you?” he whispered heatedly, lowering his head to kiss her.

 

Minyoung brought her arms up around his neck, tiptoeing to meet him halfway. “I like anything you give me, oppa,” she whispered sultrily before his lips claimed hers.

 

“What did I do to deserve you?” he groaned before deepening the kiss, his hand coming up to cradle her head as he bit her lip before sliding his tongue along the inside of it.

 

“You must have saved the country in your previous life,” she teased, the effect dampened by how hard she was breathing, although in her defense, his other hand had drifted from her waist up to her breast, and it suddenly felt like oxygen was in short supply in the room.

 

“That must be it,” he agreed, cupping her breast over the bra before he started fiddling with the clasp on the back. That made Minyoung snap back to attention as she remembered what she was supposed to be doing.

 

“Oppa, no!” she gasped as she pulled his hands away from her. “I’m supposed to be getting ready to go to work, and taking off more clothes is the opposite of that.” Turning back to face the closet, she hummed thoughtfully as she tried to think of what she could wear that would hide the marks, although it really was a fruitless endeavor since even a turtleneck wouldn’t go all the way up to her jawline, where the highest one sat.

 

Then she was being pushed aside by a still grumpy Jiyong, who just rummaged in her closet for a second before emerging with a flowy white blouse and light wash jeans. Dumping them in her outstretched hands, he pulled a belt from the closet that she’d honestly forgotten she had and dropped it on top of the clothes. “I’ll bring you a scarf later,” he grunted.

 

Minyoung blinked down at the outfit. “Should I be more concerned that you’re more familiar with the contents of my closet than I am?” she asked, going over to the bed to drop the rest of the clothes down while she pulled on the blouse, then the jeans, tucking half of the front in neatly to show off the belt and her waistline.

 

Jiyong yawned and rubbed the back of his head. “I’ve spent a lot of time watching you get ready,” he explained.

 

“All right, sure,” she said, sitting down at her dresser to start doing her makeup. She sighed as the two of them picked up their cigarettes and a lighter, going to the little landing outside her front door to smoke. “Don’t get photographed by my neighbours,” she called as they put on their shoes and opened the front door.

 

Ten minutes later, Minyoung was ready to leave, pulling on her sneakers and resting her sunglasses on top of her head. “God bless casual Fridays,” she muttered as she took one last look at her reflection in the mirror. Marks on her neck aside, she looked normal, not like she’d just spent the night with two of South Korea’s most eligible bachelors.

 

When she exited the apartment, Jiyong and Seunghyun each took one last drag of their cigarettes before dropping them to the ground and grinding them out with their feet. Minyoung arched a brow at them as they gestured for her to start walking down the stairs. “You are not getting into the habit of leaving cigarette butts in front of my house,” she said archly, causing them to sulk as they picked them up off the ground. “Put a small bin in the corner,” she continued, pointing, before walking down the stairs.

 

They smiled at her back at the implication that they would be here often enough to warrant such a change to her home.

 

“Stop smiling, I already went and bought another chair for my dining table for you, you shouldn’t be so surprised,” her voice drifted up the stairs.

 

A few minutes later, she was in Seunghyun’s car. He was driving her to work while Jiyong went back to his apartment to get the promised scarf, and Minyoung, being the little shit that she was, couldn’t resist.

 

“Oppa,” she said, turning in her seat to face him.

 

“Hmm?” he said, letting her know she had his attention.

 

“You know when Alex and Elliot said I have a thing for men driving?”

 

The way he coughed and spluttered confirmed for her that he did, indeed, remember.

 

As he drove into the carpark, which was still empty and dark, she undid her seatbelt and leaned over to whisper in his ear, “They weren’t exaggerating.”

 

Parking haphazardly in the next lot he saw, Seunghyun turned to her and pulled her over the gearstick and half into his lap, kissing her deeply. “You’re such a fucking tease,” he accused, the words muffled by her lips as she kissed him back just as enthusiastically.

 

“You love it,” she panted, undoing the buckle of his belt.

 

He groaned and crushed her lips under his, his hand on her neck pressing slightly on her throat preventing her from getting closer even as she whined and struggled. “Fuck, we can’t do this here,” he swore, pulling back and resting his forehead on hers.

 

Minyoung looked disappointed, her fingers stroking down the exposed part of his chest where she’d undone some of his shirt buttons, but didn’t protest, knowing he was right. Paparazzi and crazed fans sometimes hung out in the unsecured parts of the YG headquarters, just waiting for an indiscretion that they could blow up on the Internet.

 

“See you tonight,” she whispered, biting the shell of his ear lightly before kissing it better. Opening the car door, she slid off his lap and out the car, reaching across him to the passenger’s side to grab her bag. Seunghyun slid his hand up her ass to her waist as she did so, causing her to turn from her awkward position halfway across his lap with a bemused smile.

 

“Tonight,” he said, the word a promise before he left the carpark.

 

Biting her lip to hide a smile, Minyoung entered the building, hoping she wouldn’t see anyone before Jiyong came back.

 

She needn’t have worried; the man drove like a demon possessed. Five minutes after she sat down at her office, he was back, carrying a pretty scarf in one hand and a cup of coffee in another. Seeing that the office was empty, he came and kissed her sweetly in greeting, then put the coffee down on her desk and tied the scarf carefully around her neck, pulling back to look at it critically when he was done, then fiddling with it a bit more.

 

Minyoung smiled when he finally drew back and proclaimed it perfect, picking up the coffee. “Mmm, this is good,” she groaned in appreciation as she took a sip.

 

He preened a little. “You’re so tolerant of our vices, I thought I would enable you.”

 

Minyoung scoffed. “Coffee is not a vice.”

 

“It is when you drink four a day,” he countered.

 

Rolling her eyes because she didn’t really have a better defense to the accusation, she just took another sip of the coffee. It really was excellent, from the fancy shop on the same block as Jiyong’s expensive apartment. She didn’t even want to know how much this coffee cost.

 

“All right, thank you for being a very sweet boyfriend -” he smiled as she called him his new title – “but you should get going before any of my colleagues come in and see you.”

 

He frowned. “They’ve seen me here before.”

 

“Not half-leaning over my table holding my hand, they haven’t,” Minyoung retorted softly, pressing one more kiss to his lips before pushing him away gently. “You know they’re going to ask questions we haven’t figured out how to answer yet if they see us.”

 

Knowing she was right, Jiyong nevertheless groaned like he’d just heard the worst news ever as he got back on his feet. “I’ll see you tonight, then.”

 

Unfortunately, they didn’t. Big Bang was leaving for a comeback tour around Korea in two weeks, and since two precious days of their rehearsal time had been taken up by the filming of the music video, their preparation schedule was more grueling than ever and by the time they ended most nights, it was almost midnight and they were too tired to do anything but go back to their apartments and sleep. Minyoung stopped by their rehearsal as often as she could to spend time with them during their breaks, but she didn’t want to disturb them too much, she had her own work to do, and she was worried that the staff members would start to get suspicious.

 

Also, they couldn’t really do much with everyone around and no privacy, and it was getting incredibly frustrating for all of them to be together without resolving the tension that had been simmering between the three of them for so long now.

 

Seunghyun constantly thought back to the morning when he’d stopped Minyoung from undoing his pants and cursed himself constantly for his stupid, _stupid_ restraint then. What the fuck was even wrong with him?

 

Jiyong, likewise, kept replaying the way she’d moaned when he sucked a mark onto her neck in his head, driving himself crazy wondering if she would make sweet noises like that when he finally fucked her.

 

Taeyang and Daesung, of course, found the whole situation hilarious. They were more than aware of what their teammates were like when they were sexually frustrated, having lived together for so long during their teen years, and as annoying as it was to be snapped at unreasonably by the pair, it was still quite funny overall.

 

It stopped being quite so funny when they accidentally opened a message on Jiyong’s phone and found messages so dirty it made them both blush.

 

The night before they left for tour, they did their usual routine where they stayed together in Jiyong’s apartment all night, and though they invited Minyoung (for ‘old times’ sake’, apparently, since they’d spent many nights together as teens), she’d turned them down. Probably for the best – one of the reasons why they’d moved into their own homes was so they wouldn’t need to hear each other fucking.

 

Minyoung did come to see them off, though, when the bus came to pick them all up from Jiyong’s apartment. Under the guise of ‘forgetting something he was supposed to return to her’, all three of them disappeared back into his apartment and reappeared five minutes later with Minyoung’s hair suspiciously mussed.

 

“See you in six weeks,” she said cheerily, waving at the four of them.

 

When she turned and left, all four members sighed. It was going to be a long and miserable six weeks – for all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shorter chapter, I had a little trouble with this story this week.
> 
> Stay tuned for smut next chapter lol. I've upped the rating on the story accordingly. Apologies to anyone who thought this was going to be a PG fic, but my thirst for TOP and GD knows no bounds.
> 
> Also, have decided to publicly claim this fic because I'm owning my shame!!


	14. Chapter 14

The next six weeks were some of the hardest of Minyoung’s life. After being able to spend that one night with Jiyong and Seunghyun (and she was still kicking herself for not actually doing anything that night, what the hell was she thinking having such fine specimens in her bed and just kissing all night like teenagers?) and finally being officially together after so long, not even being able to see them in person was frustrating in a way she couldn’t even begin to describe.

 

The knowledge that they were suffering just as much as her was satisfying, in a way, but also just made the waiting all the harder, the anticipation at what would happen when they returned to Seoul driving her mad. They texted her as much as they could, increasingly explicit and dirty descriptions of what they were going to do to her when they got back, which she responded to with enthusiasm. Her vibrator had never been used so well.

 

She’d tried sending pictures, too, a cute one in the morning wearing one of Jiyong’s Coup d'etat shirts pushed up past her chest with the fabric caught between her teeth, but later the same day she received a text from Daesung begging her not to do whatever she’d done again, because apparently both the men had been insufferable for the entire day, Jiyong barely functional with a stupid glazed smile on his face whenever he wasn’t directly involved in what was happening, while Seunghyun had made his makeup artist cry.

 

(She’d made up for it when she got home that night by calling Seunghyun and letting him make her tease herself till she cried, then making him buy his makeup artist coffee the next day as an apology.)

 

Her thirtieth birthday had also passed while the band was on tour, and if turning thirty wasn’t depressing enough, she’d had to spend it alone. They’d pulled through for her, though, having an embarrassingly large bouquet of flowers sent to her office and blowing her phone up with promises of all the things they would do together, both in and out of the bedroom when she got home from a celebratory dinner with her colleagues. Some of those things weren’t even related to sex, which impressed her given that it had been four weeks since they’d left.

 

By the time they were supposed to return to Seoul for the last concert of the tour, Minyoung was wound so tight a strong breeze was enough to get her going. (This was an exaggeration, but not by much.)

 

She was also incredibly excited because apparently most of the marketing department were VIPs and the head of the department had decided to reward them for stellar work over the last quarter by wrangling enough front row passes for the entire team, herself included. When she confessed to the ladies she’d become friends with that she’d never been to a Big Bang concert, they’d turned the whole thing into a party, complete with pre-drinks at a bar and a flask of vodka that Minyoung was in charge of.

 

Dressed in a Big Bang tour t-shirt, a miniskirt, and sneakers (because she wasn’t young enough to wear heels to a concert in an effort to seduce the band members, and also because she’d already seduced them), her hair tied back in the same pretty ponytail from the music video that she’d had to beg the stylist to send her instructions to do on herself, Minyoung was thoroughly enjoying herself in the mosh pit of the concert. Slightly flushed from the shots they’d taken before coming and sneakily taking a sip from the flask every so often, the buzz she was nursing made everything all the better.

 

Screaming like she was ten years younger than she really was, Minyoung jumped and leaned forward desperately to try and touch Jiyong’s hand, and then Seunghyun’s, when they knelt in front of the mosh pit where she was standing for fan service. By the time they’d had their first concert, she’d already left Korea, and in New York she’d never been able to afford a ticket to a Big Bang concert (not that she’d have wanted to go, since she’d been so bitter for so long) so she was making up for lost time and lost experiences.

 

Or so she told herself, but really, it was the alcohol and energy from the crowd that was causing her to act this way. Not to mention they really were very attractive, singing and dancing their hearts out. Her heart might have given out for a moment when Jiyong winked at her at the end of Crooked, and she’d definitely died when at the end of Zutter, both of them turned and gave her a dark, intense stare.

 

During Taeyang’s solo, she slipped away with a flimsy excuse that no one questioned, too caught up in his performance to care that she was leaving.

 

Going around to the back entrance, she managed to cajole the security guard to let her in by flashing her staff pass, then all but ran down the hallway before he could change his mind. She didn’t really have a plan, and was too buzzed to stop and think clearly about just what she was doing or even where she was going, but she knew she had to see them now.

 

Turning a corner, she skidded to a halt as she saw Seunghyun, returning to the dressing room after his performance. He was sweating a little from the lights and the exertion, his brows drawn together a little in focus as he reviewed in his mind what he’d done earlier, before his expression slackened in surprise as he caught sight of her unexpectedly, flushed and panting in the corridor backstage of the concert.

 

“Minyoung-ah, what are you doing here?” Seunghyun asked.

 

Instead of answering, Minyoung made a running leap and all but flew at him, her arms locking around his neck as she stood on tiptoe, fisting her hands in his hair as she pulled him down to kiss her.

 

Responding immediately, Seunghyun wrapped his arms around her as he squeezed her tight and lifted her, kissing her deeply while groaning.

 

“Hi,” she breathed when he came up for air, her eyes twinkling. “I missed you.”

 

He brought one hand up to the top of her head, just resting it there as they stood still for a second, just enjoying being back in each other’s presence after six weeks apart.

 

When Minyoung next kissed him, it was different, full of heat and promise. Lifting her into his arms, he stumbled blindly into the dressing room, which was thankfully empty, slamming the door shut and pressing her up against it.

 

“Fuck, I missed you so much,” he swore as he pulled her shirt out of her skirt, his big hand disappearing up the shirt to grope at her, his thumb rubbing across her nipple so sweetly that it made her gasp.

 

She pulled his shirt out of his pants, then attacked his belt, undoing the buckle then tugging the belt through the loops, listening to it whistle before she pulled it free and dropped it on the ground next to them with the small purse she’d been carrying. Her talented fingers then started working on his pants, while he slid his hands up her thighs beneath her skirt, causing it to bunch around her waist.

 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he said breathlessly as he saw that she wasn’t wearing panties. “Have you been like this since the start of the concert?”

 

When Minyoung nodded, a smug little smile on her face, he brought his right hand down from her waist to touch her, hesitating at the last second, looking up at her to make sure she was on board.

 

She arched a brow at him in response, and he could practically hear her asking snarkily if he thought she’d left the house without panties on by accident.

 

Smirking, he ran his fingers through her folds once, experimentally, growling in satisfaction when he felt how wet she already was. “You naughty, naughty slut,” he whispered against her neck, where he was busy sucking livid marks into the delicate skin. “How long have you been wet for me?”

 

Her exhale turned into a whimper. “I can’t help it,” she whined. “You and Jiyong-oppa looked so good onstage.” She finally managed to undo his pants and reached in, grabbing his cock boldly and stroking. 

 

“Fuck,” he breathed as he tried to stop his eyes from crossing. (It had been a while, okay?)

 

“Fuck,” he said again. “Okay, we’re doing this.” He lifted her slightly, bracing her against the door as her legs wound around his hips, guiding himself into her slowly. Minyoung gritted her teeth against the burn and the stretch, air hissing out between her teeth as she tried to force herself to relax, her face pressed into his shoulder.

 

“You okay?” he paused to ask, rolling his eyes fondly when Minyoung, instead of answering, tried to pull him deeper into her by tightening her legs around his hips. He inched his way in slowly, pausing when he bottomed out to look into her face to make sure she was still okay.

 

“God, fuck, yes, will you just fuck me already?” Minyoung asked impatiently, clenching down hard on him.

 

Seunghyun lifted one hand to her face, pressing his thumb against her lips hard, until she worried that her teeth would cut through the soft flesh. “Who told you to use such foul language?” he asked harshly, pulling his hips back to slam into her. “Hmm?” he asked, as he started a steady pace, his hand on her face going to her neck, his thumb pressing on her throat hard enough to make breathing difficult.

 

He usually tried to restrain himself from his… rougher urges, at least initially, because not everyone was into the same things as him, but after six weeks away from Minyoung it was almost impossible to hold back from fucking her with every bit of strength he had, nailing her against the door. (He also knew from the dirty text messages and phone calls that she was every bit as into it as he was.)

 

“You’re such a dirty girl, you know that?” The words pour from his lips, his voice low and wrecked. She should have pegged him for a dirty talker. “This wasn’t -” he paused to grunt and his fingers found her clit again - “how I wanted our first time to be, but you couldn’t wait, could you?”

 

He paused to listen to her gasp and moan, leaning down to kiss her hard. “No,” he breathed, as his hips jackhammered into her. “So fucking desperate you came to the concert without underwear on, snuck backstage before the performance even ended,” he growled, every thrust harder and harder until she was all but screaming into his mouth, her fingers clawing ineffectually at the back of his jacket.

 

Next time, he would let her leave scratches all down his back, let her scream as loud as she wanted, and for the love of God, it would be in a bed rather than against the door of the dressing room where really anyone could walk in on them.

 

But for now, as he felt her clench around him as she keened out her orgasm, drawing his out from him almost against his will, his forehead pressed to her as he came in her, gritting his teeth to keep from shouting the walls down. When it ended, he sagged against her, pressing her into the wood so hard she squeaked in protest.

 

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologized, pulling away from her and wincing at the lewd sound that his cock pulling out of her made. “Got carried away there,” he said, reaching out to try and help her put herself to rights.

 

Minyoung slapped his hands away lightly as she pulled her skirt down and tucked her shirt back in. “You need to sort yourself out before you have to go back on stage,” she said, nodding at him.

 

“Right, right,” he said absently, his brain still trying to reconnect. “I was coming here for a costume change…” he murmured, turning around in the dressing room to find the rack where his clothes were hanging. Locating it, he shucked his clothes, a fresh wave of embarrassment hitting him as he realised they’d just made love for the first time while he’d basically been fully dressed, which was really not how he’d intended their first time to go.

 

Minyoung came up behind him to press a kiss to his bare back, then grabbed some tissues from the table nearby, grimacing as she tried to clean herself up as best she could. When he turned around and raised a brow at her, she rolled her eyes at him. “You’re dripping down my leg,” she complained.

 

He blanched. “Oh, God, shit, we forgot about birth control.”

 

She waved a hand in the air dismissively. “Implant,” she told him, pointing at the small stick in her bicep. “I’m clean, and I know you are because of how strict YG is about frequent testing.”

 

“All right,” he said, changed into his next costume, giving her a kiss on her sweaty temple. “I’ll see you later, okay? Try not to get into any more trouble,” he teased.

 

“Oppa, fighting,” she said as she finished cleaning herself up and threw the wadded up tissues in the trash can.

 

He left first, to go back onstage, and she crept out a little later, hoping not to run into anyone on her way back to the mosh pit.

 

She didn’t have that much luck, however, because as she was just about to turn the corner, she heard Jiyong calling her name.

 

“Minyoung-ah?” He could hardly believe his eyes, not sure whether he was just seeing things. From the way she paused and then, inexplicably, started walking away from him even faster, he was sure it was her.

 

“Minyoung-ah, what’s going on?”

 

Cursing her luck, she turned around with what she hoped was an innocent smile, fighting the urge to swear out loud when she saw that Youngbae was with him.

 

“Hi, Jiyong-oppa, Youngbae-oppa,” she said with false cheeriness.

 

Youngbae, of course, immediately saw her dishevelled hair, the post-orgasmic flush still high on her cheekbones and the mark already starting to bloom on her collarbone, and connected it with Seunghyun’s embarrassed look and refusal to quite make eye contact as they’d passed each other just now. He just sighed in response, having been subject to the ravages of Seunghyun’s increasing sexual frustration over the past few weeks as his mood got increasingly fouler. At least now the other man would be more pleasant to be around, he thought, the idea cheering him up a little.

 

It took Jiyong a little longer to put the pieces together, though, he was so happy to see Minyoung again. He closed the distance between them, drawing her into his embrace with a hug she readily returned. Embarrassment about being caught red-handed aside, she’d missed him as much as Seunghyun and was glad to see him.

 

“Oppa, I missed you,” she said softly, resting her chin on his shoulder. He was barely taller than her, so different from Seunghyun and his towering frame, but every bit as dear.

 

When he pulled back from her, brushing the baby hairs off her forehead, he frowned at how sweaty she was, only then noticing the livid bruise on her collarbone.

 

“Did you…” he asked, and she bit her lip shyly as she nodded. (Where had this shyness been ten minutes ago, he wondered.) “With -” At that,she rolled her eyes.

 

“No, with the security guard,” she deadpanned.

 

“That better not be true,” he grumbled as he kissed her softly, cradling her face between his hands.

 

“How come Seunghyun always gets to you first?” he whined sulkily.

 

Minyoung stifled a giggle. “Sorry, oppa, but watching you perform got me so hot I couldn’t help it,” she whispered in his ear, all too aware that Youngbae was waiting just a few steps away for Jiyong. 

 

He shuddered in her arms. “You’re so cruel,” he whined louder than she had, having seemingly forgotten about Youngbae, looking incredibly awkward as he started to back away so he didn’t have to hear whatever filth Jiyong was about to spew. “I have to go back on stage in like two minutes with a boner now.”

 

Youngbae, who hadn’t been quite fast enough, facepalmed. That was  _ way _ more information than he’d ever wanted to know about his friend. Living together for all those years he was already more than familiar with Jiyong’s sexuality, but he’d thought that finally moving out would spell an end to this overly intimate knowledge. It appeared not.

 

Minyoung giggled. “Well, I’m sure your fans will enjoy it,” she teased, palming his crotch over his pants. She returned her lips to his ear. “I know I will,” she breathed as she squeezed him gently.

 

He gave her a cross look that she ignored, pressing one last kiss to his cheek before turning around to go back to the mosh pit.

 

Youngbae shot Jiyong a judgmental look when he rejoined the other man.

 

“Shut up; we’ve been together for two months,” Jiyong defended himself halfheartedly. He wasn’t even sure what the implication of his statement was supposed to be, since all he was thinking about was ending the concert as quickly as possible so he could finally get Minyoung under him.

 

* * *

 

When Minyoung returned to her colleagues after chugging the last of the flask in a counterproductive attempt to cool off (seriously, what had she been thinking) she was at least relaxed and giggly enough that the embarrassment had faded away. It wasn’t that bright in the stadium anyway, she figured, and anyone who was paying close attention to her instead of Big Bang was… well.

 

“Hey, you were gone for a while, are you okay?” Bo-ra, Minyoung’s closest friend in the marketing team, asked when she returned. Bo-ra was a total sweetheart, and the last person who needed to know that Minyoung had been off fucking TOP, who was  _ one  _ of her boyfriends. The poor girl would probably die on the spot.

 

“Yeah, just felt a little dizzy and overwhelmed from the lights and the heat, you know?” Minyoung lied.

 

Bo-ra looked sympathetic and rubbed Minyoung’s arm. “Yeah, it happens. Here, have some water,” she said, holding out her bottle to Minyoung.

 

Smiling at the other girl, Minyoung accepted gratefully, gulping down the cool water. The concert should be ending soon, she thought; just the encore was left.

 

“Thank you, Seoul, for being such a great audience tonight! For our final song, we chose  _ Forever and Always _ , from our comeback album. This song is dedicated to all the special women in our lives who mean so much to us,” Jiyong said as the four of them fanned out on the stage. The audience screamed, of course, knowing that Taeyang only had eyes for his wife, but that the rest of them were, to the best of their knowledge, single, and were probably talking about female VIPs. (Many girls there that night fantasized that they were referring to them personally.)

 

As they sang, both Jiyong and Seunghyun took turns passing by the section of the stage she was standing in front of, stopping to sing to her, or winking or holding a hand out to touch audience members, so often that the other marketing staff started to stare at her suspiciously and she had to shake her head at them to tell them to cut it out.

 

When the performance ended for real, they shuffled slowly out of the stadium, and Minyoung shivered when the cold air hit her bare skin, regretting not bringing a jacket with her now. It had been so warm earlier in the day, and now she was freezing.

 

Making her excuses, she left them walking to the closest subway station and instead ducked around to the back entrance again, going back to the dressing room where the band was getting ready to go home.

 

“Hi,” she greeted them, walking in to see them either changing back into regular clothes or cleaning the makeup off their faces. Seeing the girl wiping Seunghyun’s makeup off, she wondered if this was the girl she’d indirectly made cry.

 

“Minyoung-ah, how have you been?” Daesung, the only member of the band she hadn’t encountered earlier, greeted her cordially.

 

Minyoung smiled at him. “Well enough, I suppose,” she said, shrugging. “Have you been treating your staff well?”

 

He scoffed. “ _ I’ve _ been perfect. It’s TOP-hyung over there that’s been mean to them,” he said, throwing the older man a pointed look.

 

Minyoung stifled a laugh at his chagrined expression as he looked up at his makeup artist. “I said I was sorry,” he whined.

 

“Yes, yes, you’re the injured party here, not the makeup artist you yelled at,” Minyoung deadpanned, giving the stylist a commiserating look. The younger woman swallowed a giggle and looked down. Minyoung’s casual relationship with the Big Bang members had become legendary among the staff members by now, and the stylist couldn’t wait to tell her colleagues about how she’d witnessed Lee Minyoung teasing the idols so easily.

 

“Why are you even here?” he huffed, getting flustered.

 

Minyoung laughed. “You’re not happy I’m here? Should I go home then?” She made to leave the room, but Jiyong, popping his head out of the curtained changing area, protested, “Stop! TOP-hyung is just being a dick again,” while glaring at the older man, suggesting that he did bear a grudge against Seunghyun for getting to Minyoung first.

 

Later they all piled into the van to go to Jiyong’s apartment where their cars were still parked, Jiyong insisting on sitting next to Minyoung, although he was so close to her that she was almost in his lap for most of the ride. When they arrived, the band, about dead on their feet, just got out of the van dazedly, and Minyoung shook her head at them fondly before leaning forward to thank the driver and tell him to be careful driving home before shepherding them all into the apartment.

 

“God, are you guys sure you can even drive?” Minyoung asked, watching Youngbae and Daesung stumble over to the couch where they collapsed.

 

They shrugged, and Minyoung eyed them. “Should I call Eunran-unnie and Kyungmi-unnie?” she asked Seunghyun in an aside.

 

“Probably,” he shrugged. “In this state, they’d probably kill multiple people on the roads.”

 

So it was another twenty minutes before they finally cleared out, leaving Seunghyun, Jiyong and Minyoung blessedly alone together for the first time since they began their relationship.

 

“Come here,” Jiyong growled, stalking towards Minyoung once he shut the door on his friends.

 

Laughing, she instead turned and ran, infuriating him.

 

When he caught up with her, she’d made it all the way to his bedroom, and he all but threw her down on the bed, bracing his knee against the mattress as he hovered over her frame.

 

Her eyes still alight with mirth, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her for a kiss. “I thought you might be too tired for this,” she teased, smiling against his lips.

 

“Sweetheart, I could be dead and I would still want to fuck you,” he groaned, pulling his shirt off over his head.

 

Seunghyun, following them at a more sedate pace (having taken the edge off earlier), leaned against the frame of the door watching them. 

 

“Gross,” Minyoung giggled, though it didn’t seem to bother her that much as she stuck her hand down his sweatpants.

 

Jiyong moaned luxuriantly, throwing his head back as he enjoyed her ministrations for a moment. “God, your hands are magic, baby girl.”

 

Minyoung raised a brow. Baby girl?

 

Mentally shrugging, she decided to just go with it, letting him run his mouth all he liked as she stroked him off. With the hand that wasn’t in his pants, she stroked the back of his neck softly as she brought him back down to kiss her again.

 

“Only my hands?” she whispered into his mouth, smirking as he shuddered at the implications. 

 

“I wouldn’t know,” he said, pulling her shirt off. She had to take her hand out of his pants for that though, and made up for it by pulling his pants off altogether once the shirt was off. She lifted her hips off the bed to help him remove the skirt, giggling at his shocked expression when he realised that she wasn’t wearing underwear.

 

“Were you -” he cut himself off. She nodded. “The whole time?”

 

Grinning, she nodded again, and looked over at Seunghyun, who just laughed at Jiyong’s shell shocked expression.

 

“Did you know?” he asked accusingly, turning to glare at the other man.

 

“Well, I kind of figured it out when we had sex in the dressing room,” he said drolly.

 

“It’s a good thing I didn’t know during the concert, or it would have been way shorter,” he huffed.

 

Minyoung smiled up at him sweetly, the innocence of her expression totally incongruous with her words as she said, “Then I should have screamed it the first time you came to stand in front of me on stage.”

 

“Fuck,” he hissed as he hooked his arms under her legs, pulling her closer to him. Minyoung bit her lip and looked over at Seunghyun, staring at the two of them with dark, intent eyes. She’d been intending to invite him over to join, but he seemed happy enough watching Jiyong, so she just let him be.

 

He settled into a comfortable chair in the corner of the room, crossing one leg over the other almost nonchalantly, his posture not giving away his excitement at watching the two of them on the bed. 

 

Jiyong pumped his length a few times, leaning down to press openmouthed kisses to Minyoung’s neck and chest. “God, fuck, you’re so gorgeous,” he moaned against her breast as she played with his hair, stroking and twirling it with her fingers.

 

He continued kissing down her body, over the flat, toned stomach she’d worked so hard to achieve, finally settling between her legs, lying on his stomach as he trailed his lips over her navel, then down to her pussy.

 

“Mmm, Jiyong-oppa,” she moaned as he finally licked a stripe up her pussy to her clit, then flicked it with his tongue.

 

She almost screamed a second later when he took her clit into his mouth and sucked, his hands pressing down on her thighs so she couldn’t clamp them shut as she tried to do reflexively. Grinning up at her as she arched and moaned, he kept up his assault on her, sliding one finger gently into her.

 

“Hyung didn’t treat you quite this well, did he?” he asked, popping up with a smirk as he rubbed at her clit with his thumb.

 

Minyoung bit her lip and tried not to moan too loud.

 

“ _ Did he?”  _ he asked more insistently, pressing down hard with his thumb. When Minyoung just shook her head, eyes closed and head thrown back, he chuckled. “It’s rude to ignore questions, baby girl.” Then he went back to pumping his fingers in and out of her, barely grazing her clit with his thumb until she cried out, “No, daddy!”

 

A beat of silence. Minyoung realised what she’d said the moment the words left her mouth and her eyes popped open as she propped herself up on her elbows to look at Jiyong. “I mean, um…” she hedged, hoping she hadn’t just made things weird.

 

Then he surged forward and over her, one hand on the bed next to her bracing himself as the other trailed up her body, pushing the fingers he’d just had inside her into her mouth. Minyoung sucked them clean obediently. “Such a good little girl,” he crooned as he nudged her legs open with his. 

 

“My cute baby girl,” he breathed as he bent down to kiss her, the hand that wasn’t supporting his weight guiding him into her. Minyoung smiled into his kiss as she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his hips, tasting herself on him.

 

“You feel so good, sweetheart,” he praised as he slid slowly into her, rubbing her side soothingly as he bottomed out. She smiled up at him as he began a slow, gentle rhythm, kissing her tenderly. She nipped at his bottom lip playfully, gratified when his rhythm faltered as he drove into her harder.

 

“I’m  _ trying _ ,” he complained as he gripped her thigh a little harder, “to be nice.” He punctuated his words with another thrust, smiling in satisfaction when she mumbled something into his mouth that sounded suspiciously like “fuck being nice”.

 

“Baby girl,” he warned, “you shouldn’t tell that to your boyfriend whom you haven’t seen in six weeks.”

 

Minyoung giggled. “I haven’t seen you in six weeks either,  _ daddy _ .” She dragged the last word out intentionally, smiling in satisfaction as he exploded into action between her legs, abruptly driving so hard that she felt herself sliding along the mattress and had to stick out an arm to make sure her head didn’t bump up against the headboard. He looped her hair around his fist and pulled none too gently to expose the side of her neck, where he pressed soft kisses that turned into punishing bites.

 

“God, you’re so good for me,” he grunted as he worked her over, feeling her clench around him. “My sweet, sweet baby girl,” he breathed as she came around him, biting his shoulder to muffle her cry as she shuddered in his arms, holding him close as he, at last, came undone, pouring himself into her, then collapsing on her.

 

Minyoung smiled tiredly as she stroked his hair, hugging him close to her. “You okay?” she asked, amused, when he buried his face in her neck.

 

“Mm,” he mumbled. “Comfortable.”

 

Stifling a laugh, she looked over at where Seunghyun was seated, holding her hand out to him. He walked over and lay on the bed beside her, taking her hand. 

 

Stroking across his knuckles with her thumb, she brought his hand to her lips and kissed it. “Are  _ you _ okay?” she asked with a half-smile. “Do you need to…” she stuck her tongue out at him instead of finishing her question.

 

He chuckled. “No man would ever say no to that, but you don’t have to if you don’t feel up to it.”

 

Minyoung squirmed and pushed at Jiyong until he huffed and rolled off her, eyes still closed. “No, I want to,” she insisted, sitting up.

 

He pulled her close for a tender kiss. “How did I get so lucky?” he mused out loud, watching her pull his erection out of his pants. Minyoung smiled up at him as she pressed light, soft kisses all over it, ignoring his warning to her not to tease. Jiyong was now staring unabashedly, all thoughts of sleeping forgotten as he watched, riveted.

 

“Minyoung-ah,” Seunghyun said gruffly, his hand on her head pushing her down gently but insistently. Smiling at his impatience, she acquiesced, wrapping one hand around the base of his shaft as she took the tip in her mouth, flickering her tongue across it as she took more of him in until her lips met her fist. Pulling back a little, the next time she went down she took more than the last time, her cheeks hollowing out as she sucked, letting the tip rest against her throat for a second before she pulled up and off completely.

 

“You okay?” she asked, pumping him with her hand as she looked up at him to make sure.

 

“Yeah, sweetheart, I’m okay,” he chuckled at the absurdity of her question. The way she smirked at him made him think he might want to retract his statement, before she sucked him into her mouth again, this time not stopping when he hit the back of her mouth, but continuing to take him down her throat until her nose rested against his belly.

 

“Jesus fucking -” he swore as she swallowed around him, looking down incredulously at her, eyes leaking, and spit dripping down her chin. He ran his fingers through her hair, trying his best not to push her down onto him or thrust too hard into her mouth, since they hadn’t talked about it yet.

 

“I didn’t know you could do this, baby,” he said softly as she pulled back a little to breathe, then took him down her throat again. The way her brow arched at him, even if the effect was a little dampened by the way tears continued to fall from the sides of her eyes, told him that it was because he’d never asked.

 

Jiyong chuckled as he went to stroke Minyoung’s hair. “You truly are a woman of many talents, aren’t you?” he teased, running his fingers down her scalp and then stroking the sides of her neck, his palm pressed firmly against her nape.

 

Minyoung hummed in response and Seunghyun’s eyes tried to cross. “Oh, my God,” he wheezed.

 

Her eyes twinkled in amusement as she continued sucking, occasionally humming or swallowing because she knew he could feel everything, buried in her throat as he was, until he was gasping out a warning to her. “Minyoung-ah, I’m going to come,” he groaned as he took his hands off her head, not wanting to force her to do anything.

 

Without missing a beat, she reached up and put his hand back where it had been, redoubling her efforts until he groaned like he was dying and came down her throat.

 

When she finally released him and sat back up, both men just stared at her like they couldn’t believe their eyes as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

 

Minyoung coughed and rasped out, “Can I have some water?”

 

Jiyong jumped to get her some, while she lay back on the bed and snuggled into Seunghyun’s side. “Thank you, sweetheart,” he told her, pressing a kiss to her forehead since he couldn’t quite reach her lips.

 

“My pleasure,” she cracked, grinning at him, although her voice was ruined. It was a good thing her manager had given them all the day off tomorrow, the last (and best) part of his gift to them.

 

When Jiyong returned with the water, she took it and drained the glass before setting it on the bedside table. “Okay, I need to wash up,” she said with a yawn, heading tiredly to the bathroom.

 

“Are we invited?” Jiyong asked hopefully.

 

Minyoung turned to him and rolled her eyes fondly. “If you like, but you look like you’re about to pass out at any moment, so…”

 

They did come with her, though, and sat at the edge of the tub as she showered and brushed her teeth with a spare toothbrush she’d found underneath the bathroom sink. She’d kicked them out, protesting, so she could pee, and when she came back found them half-asleep already in the bed although Jiyong held out one of his t-shirts for her, giving Seunghyun a smug look as they remembered the picture she’d sent them while they were on tour.

 

Putting the shirt on, Minyoung climbed into the bed between the two of them and fell asleep, warm and cosy and exhausted.


	15. Chapter 15

The next few weeks passed in a happy blur. Seunghyun and Jiyong, busy promoting their new songs, were often out from morning till night and rarely at the YG headquarters where Minyoung spent all her days, but whenever they were, they made sure to drop by with a hot coffee or a snack for her, and if they had spare time for lunch they always ate together, either at the cafeteria or at a nearby restaurant.

 

After work, they tried their best to pick her up from work, and usually had dinner together at one of their apartments.

 

Minyoung was in such a good mood from finally being with them (not to mention all the great orgasms) that people were starting to notice, and when she smiled at a colleague before taking the first sip of her coffee when she arrived at work one morning, the rumours started spreading like wildfire.

 

(Even the rumour mill couldn’t top the truth of what had happened that morning, which was that Seunghyun and her had hooked up in his studio earlier that same morning, and he’d eaten her out until she came three times before fucking her as hard as he could, gripping her neck the whole time.)

 

Youngbae, Daesung, and the girls of Blackpink were all too aware of the reason behind Minyoung’s good mood (and Seunghyun and Jiyong’s, for that matter) and were in a bit of a conundrum regarding the bet they’d made, since it appeared that everyone in the bet had won and no one had lost.

 

They were discussing it in the cafeteria one day over lunch when Minyoung came in for lunch. Surprised since she hadn’t known they were close and it was even rarer that they were all at the YG building together, she came to see what they were up to.

 

When they’d seen her coming over, their reactions had been comical. Daesung and Youngbae, their backs to her, hadn’t noticed her until they noticed the four girls’ shifty, guilty expressions and the way their eyes drifted from the two men to Minyoung, behind them.

 

When they finally realised something was up, turning to see Minyoung walking towards them, she waved cheerfully and instead of waving back at her, they instead turned back towards the girls with panicked expressions.

 

“What’s up?” Minyoung asked, laughing at how strange they were acting. At another time she might have been more suspicious, but she was too happy right now to really think about them acting so weird. Besides, she had a pretty good idea what it was about.

 

“Nothing,” all six of them chorused, looking like children who’d been caught plotting a grand cookie heist from the kitchen.

 

Minyoung arched a brow at them. “Okay, well, I’m going to get my food, so you have until then to discuss whatever you were discussing,” she said, turning to go to the counter. “Oh, and,” she turned back as if just remembering something, “make sure to also talk about my cut of the winnings of the bet you placed on my love life.” The smile she shot them then was anything but sweet and cheery, and she heard Daesung swear under his breath as she walked off for real.

 

“Minyoung-unnie is scary,” Chaeyoung sighed, her eyes following the older woman as she went to get her lunch from the cafeteria lady. She smiled and chatted with the canteen staff as her food was being prepared, every trace of the irritation she’d shown them wiped off her face as she laughed at a cute story the cafeteria lady was telling her about her new granddaughter.

 

“Got that right,” Daesung agreed. “You should have seen how all the trainees were lowkey afraid of her back then,” he chuckled. Youngbae, remembering the same thing, laughed along.

 

“Really?” Jennie asked, leaning forward eagerly. “What was she like back then?”

 

“Well, she and Chaerin were actually really good friends back then,” Daesung recalled. “The first year she was here she was, you know, scared and small and cute and I have no idea how she and Chaerin even became friends, but then she started growing into her own skin and got all sassy with the other trainees.”

 

“Yeah, remember that one girl who tried to tell her she shouldn’t be friends with us?” Youngbae reminisced, laughing.

 

“She told her she should focus on her own shitty dancing and not other people’s business, because with the way she danced like she was in a full body cast she wouldn’t even get to debut on a pole,” Daesung choked out while laughing.

 

“Are you guys still badmouthing me?” Minyoung asked suspiciously, putting her tray down and sitting next to Chaeyoung. All of them, still laughing, turned to look at her.

 

“Unnie, were you really that shy back then?” Lisa asked. “Taeyang-oppa said the first year you were so shy and small and cute, and then you just exploded after that.”

 

Minyoung scoffed. “I wasn’t shy and scared, I was bad at Korean!” she defended, taking the lid off her bowl of rice. “I became friends with Chaerin because she could speak English to me, and I know you told them about that girl who tried to put her nose in my business, and I maintain that trainees should focus on their own performing skills instead of what other trainees do with their own time.” She sniffed, clearly having heard their interpretation of what had happened sixteen years ago before and disagreeing.

 

Daesung shrugged. “I don’t think she ever debuted anyway, and you were right, it was because she couldn’t dance.”

 

“Oh…” Minyoung shrugged. “Too bad for her then.” Picking up her chopsticks, she dug into her rice then dipped it in the soybean stew that was being served today, her features relaxing into a smile as she ate the first bite of her lunch.

 

“You can’t deny that you were terrified when Jiyong and Seunghyun-hyung spoke to you for the first time, though,” Youngbae needled her.

 

Minyoung choked on her soup and Chaeyoung had to pound her on the back to help.

 

Still coughing a little, Minyoung glared at Youngbae. “That was not my fault,” she defended. “They were like legends among the trainees!”

 

“You forgot to mention extremely attractive,” Daesung added drolly.

 

Minyoung shrugged unabashedly. “Fourteen-year-old me was not prepared,” she admitted.

 

“And now?” Daesung teased. “I know that scarf you’re wearing belongs to Jiyong-hyung.”

 

She couldn’t hold back the small smile as she fingered it. “I raided his closet,” she tried to sound nonchalant. (More like she had a growing collection of his scarves in her apartment because they insisted on leaving marks all over her neck, despite her constant reminders to only leave them in places she could easily hide with clothing, but they didn’t need to know that.)

 

All of them laughed - Jiyong’s possessiveness over his wardrobe was legendary among those who knew him. The fact that Minyoung seemed to so easily forget that he could be incredibly difficult was more incriminating than she knew, because he was so ridiculously soft for her.

 

Come to think of it, Jisoo recalled that the other day as she’d been walking past the trainee practice rooms on her way out of the building, she’d heard Jiyong in there actually having a lighthearted conversation with some trainees, which was basically unheard of. She’d actually had to pinch herself while peeking in to make sure that this was real and not a weird dream she was having where his head would start spinning and the trainee would turn out to be Jisoo’s own doppelganger.

 

When she mentioned it to the group, Daesung and Youngbae started laughing even harder, Youngbae having to cover his eyes with his hand as Daesung almost lost his balance.

 

“What’s so funny?” Minyoung asked.

 

“Sweetie, I’ve literally never known the man to talk to the trainees. Even as a trainee, he didn’t care enough to get to know the others, unless they were cute girls. He has never, I repeat never, been in such a good mood in the twenty years that I’ve known him,” Youngbae explained patiently.

 

Minyoung shrugged, trying to play it off. “He might be on a new diet that’s working well for him or something.”

 

“Yeah, the diet being pussy,” Lisa said lewdly, cackling along with the others even as the older members of her group cast her a scandalized glance.

 

“Lisa!” Minyoung gasped with wide eyes. She hadn’t expected the younger girl to be capable of saying something like that, apparently having been sucked into the innocent girl crush concept as everyone else had.

 

Lisa rolled her eyes. “Come on, unnie, I saw you and GD-oppa going into the janitor’s closet last week. You really need to be more careful with your office hookups.”

 

All of them nodded in agreement. “The two of them came for our meeting with the legal team to review our contracts late, and Seunghyun-hyung’s shirt wasn’t buttoned right and I’ve never seen either of them smile so much before,” Daesung added.

 

Minyoung flushed. She remembered those incidences vividly, but hadn’t realised how obvious they were being to others. “All right, we’ll be more careful,” she muttered into her stew, chastised. “Thanks for the heads up.”

 

Jennie reached over to pat Minyoung’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, unnie. Your secret’s safe with us.” The others nodded in agreement.

 

Minyoung smiled at them gratefully. “Thanks, guys. Now… tell me more about the bet you had?”

 

All of them groaned simultaneously.

 

* * *

 

 

Jiyong didn’t think he’d ever been this happy. Lying in his bed with Minyoung and Seunghyun after the lady herself had let them spit roast her, he snuggled close to her, throwing an arm across her belly as he started to fall asleep. Ai was there too, sprawled on top of his head, of course.

 

The only thing that was interrupting his moment of postcoital bliss was Minyoung, who was inexplicably wriggling away from him.

 

“No, stop,” he mumbled sleepily, shifting to pin her down with his weight. “No moving allowed.”

 

Minyoung’s wriggling increased in intensity. “Oppa, no! I have to go home,” she groaned.

 

“No, you don’t. Just stay here.”

 

Minyoung huffed, pushing him off her and sitting up. “I can’t, my glasses are at home, and I don’t have clothes for work,” she protested. “Where are my clothes?” And then she was getting out of bed altogether, putting her work clothes back on.

 

Seunghyun yawned, reluctantly rolling out of the bed. “Do you need a ride home?” he asked.

 

Minyoung looked up from the blouse she was buttoning up. “You don’t have to if you’re tired, I can get an Uber home.”

 

He sighed. “No, I’ll take you home.” And then he was leaving the bed too, grabbing his clothes.

 

Jiyong, starfished across the bed now, stared up at the ceiling and sighed. “All right, I’ll come too,” he said, grabbing a t-shirt and sweatpants from his closet.

 

“But… you’re already home, why would you come with us?” Minyoung asked, confused.

 

He pointed an accusing finger at them. Minyoung had gotten all her clothes on and was now helping Seunghyun button his shirt up, as if the man couldn’t do it himself. “If you two leave, you’re both going to sleep at Minyoung’s apartment tonight and leave me alone,” he complained.

 

Seunghyun shrugged. That was probably true.

 

Minyoung blinked at him, bemused. “Aww, are you jealous, oppa?” she teased, walking over to give him a hug. “You’re so cute.” She kissed his cheek, then went back to Seunghyun and fiddled with his collar.

 

Jiyong rolled his eyes but couldn’t really bring himself to be upset when Minyoung took Seunghyun’s hand in hers, then held her other hand out to him, making grabby motions so he couldn’t misunderstand what she wanted.

 

The three of them piled into Seunghyun’s car, Minyoung seated on Jiyong’s lap in the passenger seat because of course he’d chosen to drive his two-seater out today. As Seunghyun drove, the three of them chatted about the photo shoot for an advertising campaign that he’d done that day, Minyoung holding his hand as he gripped the steering wheel with the other hand.

 

When they got back to Minyoung’s apartment, Jiyong automatically climbed into the bed and made himself comfortable while Seunghyun went to her closet to find one of his shirts she’d filched and Minyoung went to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

 

While she was gone, the two of them plotted to make sure she never had any excuses not to stay over at one of their apartments again, including stealing her glasses tomorrow morning to make more pairs for her to keep at their apartments and helping themselves to some of her clothes.

 

When she came back, wearing a varsity t-shirt and pajama shorts, her skin scrubbed clean and hair in a messy bun, the two of them, already waiting in bed, turned to smile at her stupidly. Minyoung smiled back at them as she crawled into the bed too, fluffing the pillows behind her as she settled in. It was a bit of a tight fit, since it was a queen-sized bed, but she didn’t really mind, and the way they squeezed close to her possessively let her know that they were fine with it too.

 

And really, they were. In fact, it was one of the best nights of sleep Seunghyun had had in awhile, until it was rudely interrupted by Minyoung’s ungodly alarm going off at six in the morning. Flailing and almost falling off the bed, he caught himself just in time and groaned in annoyance, thinking she’d accidentally set the alarm or something.

 

To his absolute horror, she actually sat up, reaching over to silence the alarm, and then started getting out of bed.

 

“What time is it?” he asked groggily, his voice raspier than usual.

 

“Shh, it’s six,” she whispered. “Go back to sleep, I’m going to go for a jog.”

 

“Nooo,” he whined, trying to grab her, but she just pushed his hands away, bent down to kiss him on the forehead, then went to the bathroom. Five minutes later, she was actually leaving the house in a sports bra and leggings.

 

Jiyong, having realised that there was no warm body next to him, rolled over, found Seunghyun still lying in bed, and snuggled close to him instead. Sighing in resignation since this was something that had happened all too often when they were living together, he just let Jiyong cling on to him and tried to go back to sleep.

 

When Minyoung came back forty minutes later, she couldn’t help but coo at how cute her boyfriends were, snuggled up together and sleeping. Tiptoeing over to the foot of the bed, she took a few pictures before going to the shower.

 

It was the sound of the shower that woke the two men up again, and despite the early hour, they were very motivated to get out of bed to take a morning shower.

 

Minyoung, singing along to the song that was playing on her phone, didn’t hear them open the door or come in until they stepped into the shower with her, and she jumped a little when she felt Jiyong’s hands sliding up her ribs.

 

“Jesus,” she breathed, pressing a hand to her chest to calm her pounding heart as she turned to look at them. She smacked Jiyong on the arm he’d stretched out towards her. “Warn a girl next time!” 

 

He took her hand and pulled her closer to him. “Sorry,” he said unrepentantly.

 

Minyoung rolled her eyes and took her hand back, instead sliding it up Seunghyun’s chest. “Were you involved in this?” she asked teasingly.

 

“No, it was all him; I’m just here for the show,” he responded, throwing Jiyong under the bus without a second thought. Jiyong made an outraged noise of protest, and Minyoung looked away from Seunghyun to smirk at him.

 

While she was bickering with Jiyong, Seunghyun reached over her head for the shampoo, rubbing it between his hands before laying his large hands on her head, scrubbing at her scalp with his strong fingers.

 

“Oh, my God,” Minyoung immediately moaned, eyes falling shut. “Jesus, you’re way too good at that.”

 

He stifled a laugh. “I’m glad it pleases you, milady.”

 

“Oh my God, for real though, you could have been a masseuse or a hairstylist or something,” she continued, her head tipping back.

 

Jiyong pouted as he was ignored in favour of Seunghyun’s apparently mind blowing hair washing skills. “Baby…” he wheedled, going to tug on her hand.

 

Minyoung opened her eyes and blinked at him. “Oh, sorry,” she said, pulling him close to press a kiss to his lips. “Do you want me to wash your hair too?”

 

He hesitated. After bleaching his hair to get the neon colour he was currently sporting, he wasn’t really supposed to mess with it that much, and the stylist had given him a special shampoo. Then again, he was naked in the shower with Minyoung, so fuck the scolding his stylist was sure to give him later.

 

“Sure,” he agreed too cheerily, causing Minyoung to flick water at him playfully as she went to get shampoo in her hands.

 

Needless to say, they got a little dirtier before they got clean, and by the time they left the shower, Minyoung was running late for work. Instructing Seunghyun to dump one of the prepared frozen smoothie packs from her freezer into the blender and mix it up with some coffee, she hastily threw on a sheath dress and grabbed her brow pencil, quickly filling them in before pushing Seunghyun out of the way and pouring the smoothie in her cup. “Thank God for meal prep,” she muttered. She’d been skeptical at first, but it had made breakfast so much easier for her, especially with two massive distractions around all the time now.

 

“Okay, I’m gonna go to work! You guys can stay as long as you like, help yourself to whatever, and you know the code for my lock, right? See you,” she rambled as she kissed them goodbye and then almost ran out the door. They always offered to drop her off, but with her guilty conscience she didn’t really want people to keep seeing her come in with them, especially when they didn’t have schedules in the YG building. Plus, she wanted to let them sleep in since it had been a while since they had a free day.

 

Once she’d left, the men immediately went back to bed, neither of them really morning people. But once they woke up proper, they got going, Seunghyun taking her glasses to the optician so he could make more pairs, while Jiyong took some of Minyoung’s clothes from her closet to bring to his apartment and bought way more kitchen appliances than he’d ever owned before, since she seemed to enjoy cooking.

 

(All right, maybe he had a fantasy of coming home to a home-cooked dinner from her, which the three of them would share while talking about their respective days. Sue him. She was his girlfriend, he was allowed.)

 

So the three of them settled into a routine, with all of them staying at Jiyong’s apartment most nights, since he had to look after Ai. The cat seemed to have taken a shine to Minyoung, surprisingly for all of them, since she usually didn’t like strangers. Both Youngbae and Daesung were still slightly wary of her, since she’d been known to hiss at them on occasion when they got too close to her accidentally.

 

Minyoung stopped going back to her apartment, other than to grab clothes or other necessities when they became necessary, instead just going back to Jiyong’s apartment when she ended work since his apartment was larger than hers.

 

(She’d laughed till she cried when they told her how they’d had more glasses made for her after all the times she’d complained she had to go home because her glasses were at home. It appeared they’d thought of everything to ensure she had no more excuses to spend a night away from them.)

 

When Jiyong came in past ten one night, to Minyoung and Seunghyun lounging on the couch with one of Minyoung’s English playlists on as she read a book, Ai curled on her lap, and Seunghyun scrolling on his iPad through art pieces, the warm feeling spreading through him made him forget all about the annoying day he’d had.

 

Minyoung looked up at him, the glasses he’d chosen for her (designer, of course, and far more expensive than the original pair she’d had) sliding down her nose slightly, and smiled.

 

“Welcome home, oppa!” she said, putting her book down and standing to greet him, dislodging Ai who meowed grumpily before stalking behind the couch to her favourite spot on the carpet. He accepted her hug and kiss, pressing his face into her hair and inhaling with satisfaction the scent of his shampoo, which she’d taken to using.

 

“I kept some dinner for you, are you hungry? I can warm it up for you…” Minyoung trailed off as she went over to his kitchen, newly outfitted with all sorts of high-end gadgets of varying usefulness (what? He didn’t know how to cook. He’d just let the saleslady talk him into buying almost everything in the shop.) and stuck her head in the fridge. She came back out with a few containers with rice, stew, and a few side dishes.

 

He blinked. “When did you make all this?”

 

Minyoung shrugged. “I had some spare time on Sunday while you two were at that event.”

 

Seunghyun came up behind Minyoung and peered at all the things. He’d been back early enough to have dinner with Minyoung, and she’d only heated up enough food for them to eat. “You’re such a good cook,” he praised, kissing the top of her head.

 

Minyoung blushed. “I’m okay,” she demurred. She knew she wasn’t as good a cook as her mother, or Jiyong’s, for that matter, but she’d had to learn enough to not starve in New York, with restaurants being as expensive as they were there.

 

Warming up the food that Jiyong wanted in the microwave, they migrated over to the dining table where Jiyong ate while Minyoung and Seunghyun kept him company, Minyoung seated on Seunghyun’s lap across from Jiyong. There were more than enough chairs for all of them, but Seunghyun had proven to be surprisingly clingy for someone who claimed to not like being touched, and Minyoung was all too happy to indulge him.

 

Today, though, Jiyong noticed something different in the dining area. He blinked as he took in the massive painting that had gone up on the wall behind the dining table.

 

“Umm…” he said, not sure how to approach the situation.

 

“Oh, yeah, Seunghyun-oppa brought it over from his apartment. He said your walls were too bare and boring for him to spend that much time here.”

 

Jiyong blinked. “I mean, I wouldn’t have said no, but it would have been nice for you to ask me first before drilling holes into my wall.”

 

Seunghyun shrugged, not even bothering to pretend like he felt bad about it. “It looks good there. It suits the vibe of the room.”

 

Sensing that this was a losing battle, Jiyong just sighed and continued eating.

 

Minyoung giggled, and Jiyong felt her toes sliding up his shin. He quirked a brow at her, but didn’t stop her as she slid her foot back down, caressing his ankle. “You’ve never played footsie before?” she asked.

 

He frowned. Was this an American thing?

 

Seunghyun intervened, his hand coming up around her neck as he asked in his low voice, “Are you teasing Jiyong again?”

 

Minyoung stiffened on his lap. He’d used that voice, the one she’d begun to react to almost on cue, and as he started pressing down on her throat, making it just a little harder to breathe, Jiyong could sense her falling into subspace. He wasn’t surprised that Seunghyun had such proclivities - he’d always been a domineering motherfucker, and when they’d lived together he’d known way too much about the other man’s porn preferences - but he hadn’t expected Minyoung to respond so readily to him. It would have made him jealous if it wasn’t just as easy for him to rile her up.

 

Still, though, when Seunghyun got this way it was usually just him and Minyoung, and Jiyong sighed as he excused himself to the bathroom, getting a nice relaxing bath ready for himself. 

 

(He cheered himself up with the knowledge that that meant tomorrow night Minyoung was all his.)

 

* * *

 

 

“You’re a bad, naughty slut, Minyoung-ssi,” Seunghyun drawled, the juxtaposition between the honorific and the names he’d called her making her shudder. She bit her lip and lowered her head, breaking eye contact with him.

 

“Teasing Jiyong-oppa like that? It was very rude,” he continued, gripping her chin and forcing her to keep looking up at him.

 

Minyoung whimpered sadly, the irritation and anger in his tone making her want to throw herself on the ground and beg for his forgiveness.

 

“I won’t do it again, Seunghyun-oppa,” she said softly, but knew she’d made a mistake when his hand on her chin moved, squeezing her cheeks painfully.

 

“What rude names is this mouth calling me?” he asked, his tone and expression glacial.

 

Minyoung gasped as she realised her mistake. “I’m sorry,  _ sir!  _ I won’t do it again, sir!” she cried, tears welling in her eyes. He scoffed, but released her face.

 

“Kneel,” he commanded, and Minyoung scrambled off his lap to do so, landing ungracefully on the ground where she had to corral her suddenly trembling limbs into the proper position for him. Hands resting on her thighs, palms up, legs spread, head lowered. 

 

Since she couldn’t see him in her current position, Seunghyun allowed himself to smile down at her. She was such a good girl, really, so eager to please.

 

He rested his hand on her head, then looped her long hair around his fist as he stood up, half-dragging her to the bedroom. He’d have to get a proper collar for her, he thought, a pretty one with a leash to match. He felt the heat pool low in his gut at the thought; it had been too long since he’d collared a sub, and the fact that it was Minyoung was all the more arousing to him.

 

Minyoung was half-crawling behind him, trying to keep up with him to reduce the pressure on her scalp from having her hair pulled this way, but it was an awkward height for her and she couldn’t distribute her weight on her palms too. When she finally got to the bedroom, almost in tears from the pain of having her hair yanked this way, Seunghyun released her hair, kneeling on the ground and running his hands over her scalp soothingly. “Such a good girl, taking it for me like that,” he cooed softly. “I’m going to get you a proper collar soon, okay?”

 

She did tear up a little at that, at the thought of her master being so kind and thoughtful, collaring her to show the world that she was his.

 

He wiped a tear that slid down her cheek with his thumb. “Do you know what you did wrong?”

 

She nodded. 

 

“Use your words, slut.”

 

“I teased Jiyong-oppa about footsie, and it was rude,” she said in a small voice.

 

“And what happens to rude sluts?”

 

“They get punished,” Minyoung said, her eyes downcast and shoulders slumping.

 

“Why do you look like that, slut? I should be the one looking disappointed that I didn’t train you well enough.”

 

Panic tore through Minyoung at the thought that her master was blaming himself for her own bad behaviour, and she looked up immediately, protests dying on her lips when she saw him sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning forward and watching her intently.

 

“I’m sorry, sir. Please punish me,” she said obediently instead. Seunghyun smirked a little, revelling in the control and power he had over her, the way he was able to manipulate her to say and do exactly what he wanted.

 

“Don’t worry, I will,” he said coolly, standing up and unbuttoning his shirt casually, then taking it off and draping it over the chair in the corner, the same one he’d sat in while watching Jiyong fuck Minyoung for the first time.

 

Walking back to her, he placed his hand on the top of her head. Minyoung tensed up under his touch, the anticipation making her breath shorten.

 

“Why is my slut still wearing clothes?”

 

Taking the hint, Minyoung quickly shed her t-shirt and sweatpants. Seunghyun watched her impassively, and when she was done, he grabbed her hair again and dragged her over to the bed. “Brace yourself on the bed,” he instructed, waiting for her to obey.

 

Minyoung pressed her palms on the edge of the mattress, aware that this position made her ass stick out. She bit her lip, wondering what he was going to do.

 

Seunghyun deliberately undid the buckle on his belt, watching Minyoung go rigid as she had to force herself not to turn around and watch. He pulled the belt through the loops on his pants hard, knowing she could hear the whistle of the belt, building up the suspense. He could see her arousal start to leak out of her.

 

Minyoung pressed her thighs together and tried not to fidget too much, knowing her master didn’t like it. Her shoulders were stiff as she heard the sound of the belt, wondering what he was going to do. He’d used the belt before to restrain her, but somehow she didn’t think it would be going around her wrists today.

 

Folding the belt so he could hold it easily in his hand, Seunghyun smacked the smooth leather into his palm. Not very hard, but it produced a satisfying cracking sound that caused Minyoung to jump slightly.

 

“I think you need ten lashes to remember how to be a good girl. What do you think, slut?”

 

It wasn’t a real question, and Minyoung knew it. Nevertheless, she responded, “Yes, sir,” like an obedient slut should.

 

“Good girl,” he crooned and Minyoung felt the wave of joy flooding her at gaining his approval. “Now, I want you to count them out, okay?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

Seunghyun held the belt near the buckle, exhaled, then brought the belt down on her ass. Minyoung fairly leapt into the air at the impact, as the sting spread.

 

“One, thank you sir!” she cried, her fists clenching into the bedspread.

 

Another hit, this one a little lower than the first.

 

“Two, thank you sir!” she said a little more shrilly, and he knew she was going to cry soon.

 

Hearing Minyoung’s increasingly loud screams, Jiyong came in from the living room, where he was chilling with the cat, and sat down in the chair to watch. Minyoung didn’t notice him, but Seunghyun did, turning to give him a glance even though he didn’t falter in his rhythm.

 

By five, Minyoung’s ass was on fire, and by seven she was openly sobbing, her face pressed into her arm.

 

When they finally got to ten, Minyoung whispered it between sobs, and Seunghyun dropped the belt, admiring the raised red welts on her ass. She was so good for him, letting him do whatever he wanted to her, letting him desecrate her perfect skin. He’d been hard the whole time, but watching her get onto her elbows so she could press her face into the bedspread as her shoulders shook with her sobs suddenly had him desperate to fuck her.

 

And he could, he remembered with a smirk. After so long pining after her, being teased until he was sure he would lose his mind, she was finally his. Unzipping his pants, he pulled his erection out, giving it a couple of hard tugs as he stepped closer to her. He slid a finger into her to check if he was ready, although he needn’t have. Her thighs were glistening.

 

Using his foot to kick her legs further apart, he lined himself up with her, then slammed himself in roughly, his body making contact with her abused flesh, causing her to yelp and jump, although there was nowhere for her to go with him caging her in with his body.

 

“Good girl, such a good girl, taking your punishment so well,” he praised hotly in her ear, one hand going to her neck to pull her closer to him while the other toyed with her clit. “Have you learned your lesson?”

 

“Yes, sir!” she panted, switching to English. They’d discovered that in addition to returning to her native language when she was stressed or emotional, she also did it during sex sometimes when her mind shut down. It had then become somewhat of a challenge to see if they could fuck the Korean out of her brain.

 

(They succeeded more often than they failed.)

 

“Use your words, slut,” Seunghyun urged, continuing to fuck her relentlessly. His eyes sought out Jiyong’s again, and the right side of his mouth curved up in a half-smile.

 

“I learned not to be a dirty slut who teases daddy, sir!” she screamed as he slammed in on a particularly hard thrust. They’d also learned that when she was in subspace for either him or Jiyong, she referred to them both by their preferred titles in bed - Jiyong was daddy, and he was sir.

 

Jiyong leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs, now more interested than he’d been at any point during the night. Seunghyun was into some rough shit, and while he enjoyed watching once in a while, he really wasn’t into it in the same way.

 

Never let it be said that Seunghyun wasn’t an inconsiderate man (co-boyfriend?). Standing straight up, he yanked Minyoung up by her neck too, so she was flush against his chest, still impaled on him. The hand on her neck went to her jaw, turning her head so she caught sight of Jiyong.

 

As they stared at each other, Minyoung’s pussy clenched on Seunghyun, a sure sign that Jiyong’s mere presence was turning her on more. He looked so good, dressed in just his boxers, his fair skin adorned with ink.

 

“Why don’t you tell Jiyong what you just said?” Seunghyun prompted, punctuating his request with a thrust.

 

“Daddy, I -” she said, then paused, embarrassment flitting over her features. Seunghyun made a displeased noise behind her. “Daddy, I’m sorry!” she cried out hastily then, and Seunghyun rewarded her with a light pinch to her clit, making her gasp.

 

Jiyong came over, sitting on the bed in front of them, and Seunghyun released Minyoung, allowing her upper body to fall on him. Jiyong’s arms came up around her, stroking her hair soothingly. Minyoung buried her face in the crook between his shoulder and his neck.

 

As Seunghyun continued to pump into her, pushing her into Jiyong, the other man absorbed the impact readily, petting her and crooning nonsense softly in her ear. The contrast between the two men was dizzying for Minyoung.

 

“Tell me why you’re sorry, baby girl?” Jiyong prompted gently, guiding Minyoung’s hand to his erection, still covered by his boxers.

 

Minyoung sobbed, but obeyed anyway, beginning to stroke and squeeze him while bracing her weight on her other arm, her hand in the bedspread next to Jiyong. “I was rude and teased you while you were eating dinner,” she said softly in English.

 

“Aw, it’s okay, baby girl,” he consoled. “If you really want to make it up to me, though…” he flexed his hips into her hand, and Minyoung got the hint, pulling the elastic waistband down to reveal his hard length.

 

He sighed in contentment as her hand wrapped around him, starting to pull in slow, sure strokes, as steady as she could given that fact that Seunghyun was currently drilling her. She gasped, moaned and cried into his shoulder, but her hand on his dick didn’t show any of it.

 

He could feel when she was getting close, though, because her hand on him tightened ever so slightly, and he could feel the breaths she was letting out against his skin get harsher and more unsteady.

 

“Are you close, slut?” Seunghyun asked, seemingly dispassionate although Jiyong, in his position, could see the wild gleam in his eyes as he stared down at the line of her shoulders, the slope of her back.

 

Minyoung nodded into Jiyong’s shoulder, her tears leaking down his chest as she continued jerking him.

 

“Good girl,” he praised in the same cool tone. “Come for me,” he urged, and like magic, her body seized up, back bowing forward as she pressed her forehead harder into Jiyong’s collarbone, sobbing. Her hand stuttered to a halt on Jiyong’s cock and he groaned in disappointment.

 

As she came down from her high, barely keeping herself upright, Seunghyun pulled out of her and fisted himself madly, his palm clicking on the wetness coating his dick until he groaned, hunched over, as he came, spurting white stripes on the reddened, inflamed skin of her ass.

 

When he was done, he ran a hand wearily down her back. “Good girl,” he said, letting his affection for her colour his voice this time. Minyoung collapsed onto her knees, her face ending up in Jiyong’s lap as she mouthed at his erection halfheartedly.

 

“Hey,” Seunghyun said as he grasped her arms and hauled her onto her feet, letting her lean on him as he held her around the waist, peering at her face. “You did so good, love, I’m so proud of you,” he reassured her softly as he lay her back on the bed next to Jiyong. When he went to get a washcloth to clean her up, she curled around Jiyong, letting him pet her on the head.

 

Seunghyun cleaned Minyoung up and rubbed ointment on her ass (not that she needed it, but he ignored her tired little protests) before getting into the bed with her, gathering her up in his arms and peppering her face with soft kisses.

 

Jiyong whined, “Sweetheart, you left some unfinished business.”

 

Seunghyun raised his face from Minyoung’s to peer up at him, then asked Minyoung gently, “Do you feel up to taking care of Jiyong tonight?”

 

Yawning, she nodded. “Yeah, but he’s going to have to do all the work.”

 

Seunghyun smiled. “You heard the lady.”

 

Lying down on his side next to Minyoung, Jiyong pressed kisses to the back of her neck as he slowly worked his way into her. He kept the pace soft and gentle, knowing she couldn’t deal with much more than that, muffling his groans in her shoulder as he left marks on her neck. They came at the same time, with a shudder and a moan.

 

Half-asleep, Minyoung’s mind was barely working when she mumbled in English, “I love you,” right before she lost consciousness altogether.

 

But they heard, and neither man did particularly well at hiding his grin as they held their sleeping girlfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /fans self
> 
> I swear I didn't write 50k words as a set up to write porn. The next chapter will have some plot, I promise.


	16. Chapter 16

The three of them fell into a domestic equilibrium. Most nights were spent at Jiyong’s place, and Minyoung started moving more and more of her things there, mostly to prevent Jiyong from buying anything Minyoung even hinted at needing for his apartment. He would probably figure out a way to have her entire apartment moved into his if she wanted.

 

Minyoung’s schedule and habits, since she worked more predictable hours than her boyfriends, were generally fixed - she got back to the apartment at around eight or nine most nights, and if they were home, she would eat with them. If not, she either got delivery or ate something she’d cooked over the weekend alone, then sat in bed for a few hours watching videos on the Internet or something, and was asleep by eleven.

 

(What? She was a woman in her thirties. She was old.)

 

On the other hand, Jiyong and Seunghyun stayed out late more often, either for schedules or events, or for social events like parties. Minyoung never joined them for those, because she firmly believed that partying the night before you had to get up early was something that should be left behind in undergrad, but also because, as she pointed out, there was no reason for her to be there as someone who just happened to work in the same company as the two of them, and none of them were necessarily ready to come out in the open with their unconventional relationship.

 

(Jiyong and Seunghyun, predictably, had not accepted her excuse of being too old for such parties, pointing out that they were older than her.)

 

Most nights after their parties, they would drunkenly fall right into bed once they got home, barely bothering to get undressed, much less shower. Minyoung protested at first, since getting into the clean bed while dirty was anathema to her, but she learned to live with it.

 

Likewise, they learned to live with her early morning workout sessions and that damned blender making her smoothies most mornings before they were ready to wake up. Jiyong went out and got the quietest blender on the market. It cost a fortune, and it still wasn’t quiet enough. The only good thing about the blender was that when she knew they would be hungover she made a nice, sweet smoothie for them that didn’t have dairy in it so it wouldn’t irritate their stomachs further and left it in the fridge for them to find when they woke up.

 

On nights that they drank too much and weren’t able to go home by themselves, Youngbae or Daesung would call Minyoung to come get them, and she would take one of Jiyong’s cars - usually a BMW sedan that looked like the cheapest of the lot - to pick them up. It was a good thing that she had a license, unusually for a New Yorker, she always thought. It was even more fortunate that she worked out, because drunk Seunghyun in particular was truly a useless blob who did little more than cling to her, which was admittedly cute but not helpful when it came to her dragging him out of whatever club it was that night and getting him into the car without paparazzi seeing. On those nights, Minyoung would put them to bed and they usually woke up at least out of the clothes they’d gone partying in, although whether they were wearing actual pajamas or just boxers tended to depend on how annoying they’d been drunk.

 

Minyoung’s second anniversary working at YG came and went, and now that she’d been there for a while she started to loosen up about hiding the fact that she could sing, since she believed that no matter what her work would speak for itself. Encouraged by Jiyong and Seunghyun to go out and enjoy herself, she started joining karaoke nights organized by her colleagues in the marketing department or the Americans working in YG, who surprisingly had quite the camaraderie and were a tightly-knit little community.

 

They also learned that she sang to herself perhaps more than anyone else they knew, and would basically have full concerts in bed at night. Her taste in music was perhaps quirky; her playlist was full of American indie bands and oldies, although she did enjoy kpop, and listened to all of Big Bang’s songs and solo work to support her friends.

 

(It was a good thing Jiyong had soundproofed his apartment years ago, for more reasons than one.)

 

It was difficult for them to go out and date like normal couples, because Jiyong and Seunghyun were always under public scrutiny, and also because there were three of them. They tried - Minyoung would spend time with them one on one and they would go for nice dinners, but because they were so famous normal couple activities tended to be difficult for them. It wasn’t like they could just hold hands and walk down Hongdae together.

 

For the most part, none of them minded. Minyoung didn’t pay much attention to the dating rumours constantly circulating around her boyfriends - she worked in marketing, she knew how these things worked - and she figured she’d outgrown the dating practices she’d indulged in when she was in her twenties at this point. If she sometimes saw couples holding hands, having coffee together or shopping while she was out and felt wistful… well, she’d known what she was getting into from the beginning.

 

So all three of them looked forward to YG’s annual gala dinner with varying levels of trepidation and excitement. For Minyoung, it was really mostly trepidation for various reasons. First, the annual gala dinner tended to be more fun for the artists than the rest of the staff, since there was a clear hierarchy in the company that was reinforced by the seating arrangement, which dictated everyone sit with their departments, at least during the dinner part of the evening. Second, there was an open bar at the event, and because Minyoung had abstained from drinking in previous years so she wouldn’t accidentally blurt out some information she didn’t have any intention of sharing with her colleagues, she’d seen how sloppy everyone got.

 

Let’s just say that with YG being the company that it was, the night wasn’t over when someone climbed up on a table and started singing. It ended when someone  _ fell _ off a table.

 

Finally, she knew how excited Jiyong and Seunghyun were about the event, and wasn’t sure how to break it to them that it wasn’t likely they would even get to interact, since the two men were artists and she was a lowly staff member, and they might as well be at different events altogether by the way there was a clear segregation once the shareholders were gone and the doors shut.

 

On the other hand, Seunghyun and Jiyong were beyond excited. The gala dinner was, as they recalled, always a good time, the highlight of every YG artist’s social calendar. Even better, they would get to see Minyoung in a pretty dress, maybe drink and dance together in an event where it wouldn’t be suspicious, and best of all, everyone else would be so wasted they might not even remember anything that happened that night.

 

Suffice it to say, they had slightly different expectations of the event going in.

 

Still, Minyoung decided, it wouldn’t hurt to have a nice day before the gala dinner. YG had given everyone in the company the day off to get ready or whatever, and Minyoung let them take her to the salon with them, and then to the spa to get everything in tip-top shape for the event. It was really nice dating men who weren’t shy about taking care of themselves, she thought as they all got their nails done together. Previous boyfriends had been so caught up with appearing macho and manly that there was no way they could have bonded in this manner.

 

(She wasn’t sure though why a Brazilian wax had been on the table, because they both knew she went for regular waxes - a part of American culture she hadn’t been able to shake - but she figured they just wanted to hear her suffer. She didn’t give them that satisfaction.)

 

After the spa, Minyoung surprised them both by telling them that she had to go back to her own apartment because she was going to the event with Bo-ra, another girl from the marketing department. They’d protested, but she’d silenced them by reminding them why the three of them couldn’t show up all together.

 

That was when things had started to go south. While reluctantly driving her back to her apartment, they argued loudly with her about the perceived need to maintain such a distance, when everyone knew they were friends anyway. 

 

“Yes, friends, not  _ dating _ , which is what you know people will think if we all show up together, coming out of the same vehicle! It’s strange enough that we’re such good friends when I’m in marketing and not an artist!”

 

Cue hurt confusion over the implications of her statement.

 

“Really, you’re going to give me that YG Family crap? Cut it out, guys. When is the last time you actually put in effort to have a conversation about one of the executives that wasn’t about your work, your contract or projects that involved you in some way?”

 

The two of them fell silent, racking their brains for an example that would prove her wrong, and unfortunately coming up empty.

 

Minyoung sank back into the seat of the car, her arms crossed. She’d expected some resistance, not a shouting match, having genuinely thought that they were aware of the divide between the executives and artists of the company.

 

“Oppa -” she started, to try and make things better.

 

Seunghyun was driving and looked up in the rearview mirror to meet her eyes. The sheer anger and frustration she saw in them made her breath catch, even if she didn’t understand it. Her hackles rose when he drew his brows together and glared, and it wasn’t made better by Jiyong biting out in a clipped tone, “We’ll talk about it later, after we’ve pretended to be  _ friends _ .” The last word was sneered out, like he was blaming her for the situation.

 

Knowing that anything she said now would be hurtful and misinterpreted to be even more so by them, she just looked away, fuming. Why would they react this way? It wasn’t like she was the only one who would be hurt by people knowing they were together. They had more to lose with YG than she did.

 

So it was that all three of them turned up at the gala dinner in rather foul moods, which as we all know, is not usually the best frame of mind to be in when faced with an open bar. Minyoung, like most of the staff invited to the dinner, came in through a side entrance since they didn’t really want the paparazzi getting all up in their business, while the two men did the whole red carpet shtick.

 

Minyoung grew even more annoyed when she first caught sight of them, both looking amazing in their suits. Seunghyun was in a classic black suit that made her have to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from drooling, and Jiyong, ever the fashionista, was wearing something a lot less conservative and more colourful, though he too looked amazing. And really, how dare they look so hot, making her wet even when she was angry with them?

 

Determinedly, she turned away from them when they entered the banquet hall and refocused her attention on what her colleague was saying, a cute story about her new pet puppy. She got so immersed in it (the puppy’s antics really were adorable, and to top it all off, she’d managed to get  _ video _ ) that she didn’t notice the two men looking around until they found her, seated at the far corner of the banquet hall and away from the artists. She was resplendent in her strapless red gown, having gone for a classic winged liner and bold red lip to match her dress. Since she was sitting down, they couldn’t see it, but having gone with her to purchase the dress, Jiyong was very much aware of how high the slit on the gown went, and the fact that it was all hidden under the tablecloth was really making it worse for him.

 

For the duration of the dinner, when the shareholders and press were there, they managed to behave themselves, but of course, all bets were off once everyone who wasn’t hired by YG left. Typically it was the artists that really let themselves go, since they had to be so controlled most of the time for the press, while the executives watched and laughed, mocking each other when their respective charges got too sloppy.

 

Today, though, Minyoung was pissed and she was dealing with it in the all-American way: drinking her feelings. When the wine had started going around she’d had a few glasses with her colleagues, laughing and chatting in the easy way that was inevitable when you spent all day with the same group of people, five days a week.

 

Wine got old fast, though, and Minyoung ended up heading to the open bar. She’d only intended to down one shot of vodka, but seeing her at the bar, some of the other Americans had gone to join her, and they’d lost count of the number of drinks they had while they stood there, ribbing each other in English.

 

Which brought her to her current state of inebriation, her arms around Soon-ae from accounting’s neck as they clung to each other, shrieking with laughter. Soon-ae was Korean-American but had married a Korean man who’d done his undergrad in the States, and subsequently moved to Korea. She was also from Los Angeles, which meant that as much as Minyoung liked her, she had to understand that LA was a shit hole that was far inferior to New York.

 

Unfortunately, though, they were both drunk enough that their arguments weren’t making much more sense than, “New York is better! Izzz bigger,” and “LA has paaalm treeees!”

 

Finally, Minyoung just yelled, “Fuck LA!” generating mixed responses from the American group - those who hailed from the East Coast cheered, while the people who were originally from LA booed in protest.

 

A commotion like this should have garnered the attention of everyone in the banquet hall, and the fact that hardly anyone even turned to look at them was testament to how loud and unruly the artists were on their side of the hall.

 

Teddy, who heard the commotion, came over to see what was going on. He wasn’t that close to the American group, but joined them once in a while, and had known Minyoung when she was a trainee because they’d both been from New York, although they hadn’t been close then either.

 

As he came closer, Minyoung and Soon-ae, who were basically propping each other up at this point, turned to look at him.

 

“Look, it’s Teddy!” Minyoung cried excitedly. “Teddy, do you think New York or LA is better?”

 

Before he could even answer, she answered for him. “Of course, New York, you’re so right,” she said, nodding sagely before bursting into fresh giggles.

 

“Min!” Soon-ae said, rolling her eyes in exasperation although she could barely keep the smile off her face.

 

Intervening, Teddy redirected them back to the bar. “Whichever it is, both are America, right?” he said to distract them both.

 

“America!” they cried, clinking their shot glasses together and slamming them against the table before downing them. All the other Americans, hearing the toast, immediately followed suit, Teddy included.

 

Still, that wasn’t too bad, and things would likely have remained under control had Soon-ae not then shown Minyoung what she’d smuggled into the banquet hall with her husband.

 

“No. No way,” Minyoung gaped as she looked at the bottle of fireball whiskey in Soon-ae’s hands.

 

Soon-ae just laughed. A handful of other Americans came to see what they were so excited about, and laughed along with the two of them when they saw.

 

“Oh my God! Talk about a throwback!” Minyoung laughed. “When’s the last time you even had a fireball?”

 

Soon-ae shrugged. “College, probably. This is foul, no one who’s left college should drink it.”

 

All of them agreed, but found themselves taking over an empty table near the bar to take shots of the cinnamon whiskey anyway, eager to taste the nostalgic drink that reminded them of bad decisions and irresponsible partying.

 

That was when things really went downhill, because it seemed like the moment they tasted the fireball, they immediately regressed back into their college selves. No kegs, thankfully, but all of them definitely drank more than they should have, which led to one of the people getting up on the tables being none other than Lee Minyoung, egged on by the other Americans who’d heard her sing at karaoke and were more than eager to hear it again.

 

Someone even managed to produce a mini speaker, and the executives started to have their own little party, led by the Americans in the group, milling between the bar and the one table they’d colonized.

 

It had been just like college, the group of them singing along casually to whatever song was playing on the speaker, until Fall Out Boy started playing. It was one of Minyoung’s favourite bands, and in the mood she was in, it was perfect. She held her skirt with one hand as she scrambled onto the table, turning back to face her friends again.

 

_ This is a black, black ski mask song _ __  
_ So put all of your anger on _ __  
_ In the truly gruesome do we trust _ _  
_ __ I will always land on you like a sucker punch

 

She got really into it, pointing down at the cheering Americans.

 

_ Singing I am your worst, I am your worst nightmare _ __  
_ I am your worst, I am your worst nightmare _ __  
_ If you knew, knew what the bluebirds sing at you _ __  
_ You would never sing along _ __  
_ Cast them out 'cause this is our culture _ _  
_ __ These new flocks are nothing but vultures

 

Taking a deep breath, she launched into the chorus with gusto. __  
__  
_ Because they took our love and they filled it up _ __  
_ Filled it up with novocaine and now I'm just numb _ __  
_ And now I'm just numb _ __  
_ Don't mind me, I'm just a son of a gun _ __  
_ So don't stop, don't stop 'till your heart goes numb _ __  
_ And now I'm just numb _ _  
_ __ I don't feel a thing for you

 

Finally, the artists’ side started to notice what was going on, turning around one by one to watch Minyoung wailing out the lyrics of Novocaine, singing like she was at a karaoke with her friends and not in front of all her colleagues. (To be fair, they were all just as drunk as her, and the fireball was deadly.) __  
__  
_ I'm just a problem that doesn't wanna be solved _ __  
_ So could you please hold your applause _ __  
_ Take this sideshow and all its freaks _ _  
_ __ And turn it into the silver screen dream

 

Jiyong, sitting near CEO Yang, heard the other man sigh wistfully as he watched Minyoung. Even though she was clearly drunk, her voice was clear and stable, and as she belted out the lyrics her emotion was clearly conveyed through her tone. “I could have had Lady Gaga before there was a Lady Gaga,” he sighed.

 

Jiyong raised a brow. That was a strange thing to say about a former trainee who’d begged to debut and been stopped by the man himself. He wanted to go and ask what CEO Yang meant, but now probably wasn’t the best time, he thought, watching Seunghyun have what must be his tenth glass of wine that night.

 

He was probably the most sober person in the room that night, and it was all thanks to Seunghyun, who’d started drinking as soon as he sat down. He figured one of them had better be sober enough to get them all home, and looking at Minyoung singing her heart out on the table, it appeared he’d made the right decision as she’d given up the responsibility of designated driver tonight. __  
  


_ Singing I am your worst, I am your worst nightmare _ __  
_ I am your worst, I am your worst nightmare _ __  
_ If you knew, knew what the bluebirds sing at you, _ __  
_ You would never sing along _ __  
_ Cast them out 'cause this is our culture _ __  
_ These new flocks are nothing but vultures _ __  
__  
_ Because they took our love and they filled it up _ __  
_ Filled it up with novocaine and now I'm just numb _ __  
_ And now I'm just numb _ __  
_ And don't mind me, I'm just a son of a gun _ __  
_ So don't stop, don't stop 'till your heart goes numb _ __  
_ And now I'm just numb _ __  
_ I don't feel a thing for you _ __  
  


_ I said one day the bell is gonna swallow me whole _ _  
_ _ And I feel like a photo that's been overexposed _

_ Because they took our love and they filled it up _

_ Filled it up with novocaine and now I'm just numb _

_ And now I'm just numb _

_ Don't mind me, I'm just a son of a gun _

_ So don't stop, don't stop 'till your heart goes numb _

_ And now I'm just numb _

_ I don't feel a thing for you _

 

When she finished the song, she fell onto her knees dramatically, a move she’d definitely learned from Jiyong, and he couldn’t help but smile at how cute she was. Even some of the artists were cheering and singing along with her, and she’d attracted quite the audience.

 

He stopped smiling and got up, concerned, when she tried to get off the table and almost fell, but someone caught her just in time and sat her back on the table.

 

The next song that came on made her smile, because it was Soon-ae’s little apology to her. As the beginning of New York, New York came on, Minyoung tugged on Soon-ae’s hand till she sat next to her on the table, then a few more of their friends joined them and they put their arms around each other’s shoulders, swaying together as they sang along, probably not that well but certainly with enthusiasm.

 

_ Start spreading the news _

_ I am leaving today _

_ I want to be a part of it _

_ New York, New York _ __  
__  
_ These vagabond shoes _ __  
_ They are longing to stray _ __  
_ Right through the very heart of it _ __  
_ New York, New York _ __  
__  
_ I want to wake up in that city _ __  
_ That doesn't sleep _ __  
_ And find I'm king of the hill _ __  
_ Top of the heap _ _  
_ __ My little town blues

_ They are melting away _ __  
_ I'm gonna make a brand new start of it _ __  
_ In old New York _ __  
_ If I can make it there _ __  
_ I'll make it anywhere _ __  
_ It's up to you _ __  
_ New York, New York _ __  
_ New York, New York _ __  
  


_ I want to wake up in that city _ __  
_ That never sleeps _ __  
_ And find I'm king of the hill _ __  
_ Top of the list _ __  
_ Head of the heap _ __  
_ King of the hill _ __  
__  
_ These are little town blues _ __  
_ They have all melted away _ __  
_ I am about to make a brand new start of it _ __  
_ Right there in old New York _ __  
_ And you bet baby _ __  
  


_ If I can make it there _ __  
_ You know, I'm gonna make it just about anywhere _ __  
_ Come on, come through _ _  
_ __ New York, New York, New York

 

Minyoung sighed blissfully as she rested her head on Soon-ae’s shoulder when the song ended. “That song is so great,” she said.

 

“It is,” Soon-ae had to agree. It might be an ode to an inferior city to LA, but it was still amazing.

 

Meanwhile, Seunghyun had apparently regained the use of his body and was able to turn around in his chair to look at Minyoung, resting his chin on the back of his chair forlornly as he watched her sing. He really wished she could be there with him and Jiyong, but her assigned table had been so far away.

 

He sighed again, and his melancholy attitude finally caught the attention of his teammates. Kyungmi and Eunran were both there as their respective significant others' plus ones, and they looked at each other with amusement.

 

“You okay there, hyung?” Youngbae asked tentatively, not sure whether this was just Seunghyun being his usual drunk self or if there was a deeper reason for his moping.

 

“Minyoung-ssi is so pretty,” he just sighed.

 

“She is,” Eunran, a little tipsy herself, agreed, looking at Minyoung surrounded by her friends, laughing uproariously, her delicate features creased into a wide smile. She didn’t think she’d ever seen Minyoung let herself go to this extent, and it was truly something.

 

Seunghyun let out what sounded suspiciously like a sob, then said, “I just want to hold her, and kiss her and fuck her and -” 

 

“Okay, that’s enough,” Jiyong cut in hastily before Seunghyun could go on listing all the unholy things Minyoung let him do to her. The list was way too long, and as much as their friends knew about their relationship, this was definitely not one of the things that was okay for Seunghyun to share drunkenly.

 

Daesung stifled a laugh in Kyungmi’s shoulder. “You’d better get him home,” he advised Jiyong, nodding over at Seunghyun who was now eyeing Minyoung in a way that was decidedly not mopey anymore.

 

Jiyong sighed. “That’s probably true.”

 

Youngbae, looking over at Minyoung, added, “He’s not the only one that should go home soon,” referring to the way Minyoung was now huddled with the other Americans, singing Sweet Caroline while swaying in the little circle they’d created. It truly looked like they were all keeping each other up purely by leaning on each other hard enough, and he didn’t want to watch Minyoung collapse into a puppy pile with a bunch of people that were not him or Seunghyun.

 

He went over to Minyoung, reaching her just as the song ended, and tapped her on the shoulder. She spun around too quickly, getting dizzy and having to brace herself on Jiyong to keep from falling over.

 

“Oppa!” she said too brightly, smiling up at him with her cheek resting on his shoulder. Her makeup was probably rubbing off onto his shirt, but he didn’t mind too much. Besides, it was a problem for his dry cleaner.

 

“Minyoung-ah, it’s time to go,” he told her, smiling down at her. She really was adorable when she was drunk like this, all pliant and happy. She seemed more like the sixteen-year-old he’d known all those years ago, without that harsh edge and acerbic wit to keep people at bay.

 

(Okay, she’d always had that, but still. She’d been softer at sixteen than she was at thirty.)

 

“Nooo, oppa,” she whined childishly. “I’m having sucha _ goodtime _ ,” she rushed out, stumbling over the words and slurring them slightly.

 

“Minyoung-ah, how much have you had to drink?” he asked, his brow creasing slightly.

 

Minyoung shrugged. “I don’t remember,” she said, then switched to English, apparently having exhausted her Korean abilities for the night. “Soon-ae brought  _ fireball whiskey _ tonight,” she whispered loudly, before clutching him and giggling.

 

“Fireball… whiskey?” he asked, confused, never having heard of it before.

 

Minyoung giggled. “Haven’t had it since… like, college!” she explained, smiling so hard her eyes seemed to disappear.

 

As if on cue, an old English song started playing on the mini speaker that was the centre of the Americans’ party, the opening chords to Stand By Me making Minyoung sway to the rhythm as she hugged him close, humming along and then singing under her breath.

 

Unable to resist the temptation, Jiyong just held her and swayed with her, occasionally taking her hand to spin her just for the joy of watching her face light up as she turned.

 

When the song ended, Jiyong was about to lean in and kiss her, which would definitely have revealed their secret, when Chaeyoung, ever the helpful guardian angel, stepped in, pulling on Minyoung’s hand to separate the two. “Unnie, come take a picture with us!” she said when Minyoung looked at her questioningly and Jiyong looked cross at the fact that his arms were abruptly empty.

 

Minyoung giggled. “Okay,” she agreed, following Chaeyoung obediently.

 

It was another ten minutes before Jiyong was finally able to collect Minyoung and go back to his table to get Seunghyun, who just tried to pull Minyoung into his lap wordlessly when he saw her. Minyoung didn’t fight him too hard, either, draping her arms over his shoulders.

 

Sighing in frustration, Jiyong caught Minyoung by wrapping an arm around her waist, holding her fast to himself when Seunghyun sulked and tugged harder.

 

“Hyung, don’t you want to go home?” Jiyong asked, his voice laden with meaning to tempt the older man into listening to him. Truly, babysitting them was a task fit to test the patience of a saint.

 

Seunghyun didn’t really react to the bait, but Minyoung did, her arms dropping from Seunghyun. “Ooh, I wanna go home,” she said, her voice taking on a childlike lilt. “This dress is so uncomfortable,” she confided, pulling on her skirt a little and shifting so that her leg stuck out of the slit that went almost too high up her thigh.

 

Seunghyun’s eyes became glued to her bare leg, and he just nodded along to whatever Minyoung said, although Jiyong was sure he’d barely comprehended it.

 

“Okay, let’s go home, yeah?” he said, shifting his grip on Minyoung since he was fairly sure he was the only thing keeping her upright. Youngbae and Eunran, thankfully, hadn’t gotten near as drunk as they could have and were able to help Seunghyun to Jiyong’s car since the man could barely stand by himself, although Seunghyun and Minyoung held hands the whole way back to the car.

 

When they were finally both in the backseat of his car, he sighed and shook his head as he got into the driver’s seat. Minyoung and Seunghyun were basically stuck to each other, and he would be damned if the two of them started fucking in his backseat before he got home and could join in.

 

Not that he thought anything was going to happen between the two of them tonight, given how much Seunghyun had had to drink.

 

Still, though, as he looked at them in the rearview mirror to make sure both of them were still alive, he couldn’t help but smile a little at the way Seunghyun and Minyoung were cuddled next to each other, Minyoung’s face in Seunghyun’s neck as she sat half in his lap.

 

“Oppa, you look so good tonight,” she whined. “Both of you, it’s not fair to look like that when I’m mad at you.”

 

Seunghyun let out what sounded like a sob, but whether that was because of what Minyoung had said or because she’d started trailing kisses down his neck, Jiyong couldn’t tell. The older man rested his head on the headrest, giving Minyoung more access to his neck, something she took full advantage of.

 

His hand came up to the back of her head, stroking it as he stammered out apologies. “Minyoung-ssi, oppa’s sorry for making you mad,” he told her. Jiyong rolled his eyes. How very like the older man.

 

Minyoung, however, had a different reaction, as she lifted her face from his neck. “Oppa, I don’t like fighting with you,” she said in a small voice, leaning up to kiss him.

 

By the time they returned to Jiyong’s apartment, they were both lying down in the backseat, in each other’s arms as Minyoung dozed.

 

Jiyong opened the car door and stuck his head in, shaking Minyoung’s leg gently. “Minyoung-ah, we’re home,” he said quietly.

 

Minyoung sat up groggily, blinking slowly as she looked around at the carpark of Jiyong’s apartment complex. The harsh light hurt her eyes and she squinted, looking up at Jiyong, who was basically just a silhouette as he blocked the light from streaming in the car door.

 

“Oppa,” she said, raising her arms to him. He obligingly leaned in so she could wrap her arms around his neck and basically lifted her out of the car, leaning her against the vehicle as he reached back in to get Seunghyun.

 

Somehow they made it back to his apartment, and if he was being honest, he had a lot more respect for Minyoung for managing to get both he and Seunghyun from whichever club they were at back into bed whenever they needed her to, because this shit was difficult. Grunting with exertion, he shepherded them into the lift, Minyoung leaning basically all her body weight on him while Seunghyun clung to her.

 

“You guys are impossible,” he huffed fondly as the elevator doors finally opened into his apartment. Stumbling out, Minyoung kicked her shoes off carelessly and walked in, promptly lying down on the floor in front of the entryway.

 

Since she looked like she was okay there for a while, Jiyong took care of Seunghyun first, getting the older man out of his suit and managing to talk him into removing his contacts before collapsing into bed.

 

“Where’s Minyoung?” Seunghyun asked grumpily as he patted the mattress next to him, searching for her. Most nights he automatically cuddled up to her and it had become a habit.

 

“She’s coming,” Jiyong sighed, exasperated, as he went to get Minyoung, who appeared to have fallen asleep where she lay. Picking her up like a doll, he placed her on the bed and got her out of the dress, taking a moment to appreciate the mouthwatering lingerie she’d worn under it. He would have to come back to that later, he determined, as he shook her awake, hopefully for the last time.

 

“Sweetie, you have to take your makeup and contacts off, at least,” he said, maneuvering her into an upright position.

 

“Okay,” she acquiesced without much fight, and he marvelled at how pliant she could be while drunk. Wandering into the master bathroom, she got ready for bed and re-emerged five minutes later in one of his t-shirts that he’d left in there.

 

“G’night, oppa,” she murmured as she got under the sheets, sliding close to Seunghyun, who promptly draped her over him. Now that they were finally settled, Jiyong went to get himself ready for bed, exhausted after taking care of them.

 

* * *

 

 

Minyoung’s eyes opened and immediately started stinging from the light, but there was no time to feel that pain as she raced to the master bathroom. She might have stepped on Jiyong, still asleep on the bed, but she didn’t register that either as she skidded in front of the toilet on her knees, making it just in the nick of time to puke her guts up.

 

After waking up to Minyoung almost killing him as she ran to the bathroom, Jiyong lay there, confused for a second and clutching his side, before he heard the sounds of Minyoung throwing up. Going to the bathroom, he winced as she saw her kneeling in front of the commode, her elbows braced against the toilet seat and hands shoved in her hair to keep it out of the way as she threw up what felt like a week’s worth of food and enough alcohol for a frat party.

 

Going to sit on the edge of the bathtub next to her, he rubbed her back soothingly, but couldn’t help ribbing her a bit. “This is what happens when you don’t watch how much you drink,” he said, stifling a laugh when even though she was literally throwing up, she still flipped him off.

 

Pulling her hair off her shoulders, he stayed with her, saying soothing nonsense as she panted, her face pressed to the cool porcelain as tears leaked from her eyes. Her throat was burning, and when it felt like she was done, she spat one last time and got up shakily, flushing the toilet.

 

“Hey, you okay?” Jiyong asked, immediately getting up to support her in case she still felt unsteady. She just nodded as she staggered over to the sink, rinsing her mouth out as she grabbed her toothbrush and toothpaste.

 

“All right,” he said, since she looked like she wasn’t about to keel over at any moment. “I’ll go get some food for you, okay?” he said, leaving her to brush her teeth. Returning to the bedroom to grab his phone, he saw Seunghyun crack his eyes open slightly. The man was larger than Minyoung and also drank more often than her, so he wasn’t in quite as bad shape but the way he winced let Jiyong know that he was definitely feeling last night as well.

 

While ordering delivery from their favourite shop, Jiyong went into the kitchen and grabbed two glasses of water, as well as aspirin for Seunghyun, and returned to the bedroom. Minyoung had finished brushing her teeth and returned to the bed, curled up around Seunghyun, who was rubbing her back.

 

“Here,” Jiyong said, handing them the water, and Minyoung smiled up at him gratefully as she accepted it.

 

“Thank you,” she croaked, her throat still painful. She shifted closer to Seunghyun so that Jiyong could have space to slide back into the bed with them, taking his hand when he did.

 

“I’m sorry about what I said yesterday,” Minyoung said quietly, her eyes still closed as she rested her head on Seunghyun’s shoulder.

 

He made a noise of protest. “No, don’t be. None of what you said was wrong,” he murmured, his morning voice even deeper than usual.

 

Jiyong nodded. “Hyung’s right; we never thought about it before, but we saw the segregation at the banquet hall too, and we’re sorry, Minyoungie. We know you’re looking out for us too, it’s just frustrating that we can’t be together in public.”

 

Minyoung wriggled herself deeper into the sheets, shifting to hug Jiyong’s belly as he sat propped up by the pillows. “I know, I wish we could be together like normal people too,” she confessed. “But I understand why we can’t. It’s okay, really.” She pressed a kiss to his side, then seemed to go back to sleep. Seunghyun did too, shimmying himself back under the covers and cuddling up behind Minyoung to spoon her.

 

When the food arrived, Minyoung woke up again, ravenous. Sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, she stuffed her face with beef bone stew, but then felt sick again and had to go lie down.

 

Her hangover took the entire weekend to recover, something that both concerned and amused her boyfriends. When they asked if she was okay, though, she just groaned, “Fireball made me think I was still in college, but I’m way too old to drink the way I used to back then.”

 

The whole experience only made Minyoung more certain than ever that she shouldn’t go out and get lit anymore, because her body could not take it. Jiyong and Seunghyun weren’t pleased with her newfound determination, but watching her wander around the apartment like a ghost, they had to agree that she was having a way harder time than they’d expected.

 

One thing stayed in Jiyong’s mind, though, and it was what he’d heard CEO Yang say. He’d never heard the man have such high praise for anyone before, much less failed trainees. That made it all the more confusing that he’d rejected Minyoung’s plea for help.

 

After stewing about it for a few more days, he decided he had to ask CEO Yang himself, and made an appointment for the meeting.

 

“Ah, Jiyong-ah, it’s nice to see you,” CEO Yang greeted Jiyong, seated behind his large desk, when Jiyong walked into his office.

 

“Yes, sir, good to see you too,” he greeted, bowing, before going to sit on the sofa in the office.

 

“To what do I owe this pleasure?”

 

“Yes, I wanted to ask about one of the previous trainees at YG.”

 

CEO Yang sighed, sure that he knew what this was about now. “Yes?” At least he’d had some peace before it all came crashing down - it had been over a year since Big Bang had returned from the military hiatus, and he’d been half afraid that Jiyong would come storming into his office immediately after finding out that Minyoung was back at YG.

 

“Lee Minyoung.”

 

That was all Jiyong needed to say, apparently. CEO Yang nodded in understanding, putting away whatever he’d been working on to give him his undivided attention, nodding at him to continue.

 

“Why did she never debut?” The accusing tone let CEO Yang know that it wasn’t a question asked out of curiosity; Jiyong already knew and had formed his own judgements about what had happened fourteen years ago.

 

Nevertheless, he feigned ignorance to Jiyong’s barely concealed anger as he just said, “She pulled out of the program by choice.”

 

Jiyong stood up furiously. “That’s bullshit!” he snapped. “She called you from New York begging you to let her debut, and you  _ let her down!” _

 

CEO Yang just pressed his lips together. “She wasn’t ready to debut, and I can’t bend the rules for any trainee. You know that; YG is a company and not a charity.”

 

“She’s one of the most, if not  _ the  _ most, talented vocalists to ever walk the halls of YG! You said yourself that she could have been on par with Lady Gaga!”

 

Tired of his tirade, CEO Yang just gestured for Jiyong to sit back down while he picked up the remote on his desk. Pressing a button, the projector screen fixed to one of the walls of his office started to come down, and with a few more clicks on the remote, he’d located the video he was searching for.

 

“Do you remember this?” he asked Jiyong. It had been one of the last videos he had of Minyoung, at an internal company event where trainees were usually given the opportunity to perform, to showcase their abilities and have practice performing before a large crowd. That Minyoung had been chosen to perform was a huge deal.

 

Jiyong, looking at the screengrab of the video before CEO Yang pressed play, nodded. “She was amazing in this performance,” he recalled, a small, proud smile crossing his face. He remembered this being about two weeks before she’d suddenly disappeared. Big Bang, freshly debuted for less than a year then, had been so proud and excited for her when she told them she was performing.

 

CEO Yang rolled his eyes. He’d been aware of the relationship between Minyoung and the boys from Big Bang then, and had instructed the managers in charge of the trainees and the boys to look out for it, but it hadn’t seemed romantic so they’d closed one eye. Back in those days, they’d been less strict about trainees who were opposite sexes fraternizing.

 

“Watch this video like a talent manager and producer, not like a lovesick puppy,” he said mildly, finally pressing play.

 

Jiyong leaned forward when the video started. He had fond memories of this performance; Minyoung, sixteen then, had been so pretty that he couldn’t take his eyes off her, and when she looked at him from the stage, his heart had done funny things. It had been the first time he’d looked at the younger girl as anything other than a junior and friend he had to look out for, the first time he’d started thinking that maybe he felt more for her than he’d realised.

 

Then she’d vanished, and the rest, as they say, is history.

 

When Minyoung stepped out on stage, he found himself smiling again. She looked so cute in her short red dress and leather jacket, an elaborate lace eye mask hiding her identity and her red lips the focal point of her makeup. It had been her first big performance as a trainee, and she’d debuted the ‘persona’ that she would maintain for public performances until she debuted then. Of course she’d chosen something classic, feminine and timeless.

 

Now that he was watching it again from an emotional and physical distance, and through a screen, rather than sitting in the audience, though, he frowned. He could see now that her movements were stilted and her breathing was a mess, which was strange because he’d heard her practice the song a million times and it had sounded phenomenal every time. Bon Jovi was one of her favourites, and he’d heard her sing You Give Love a Bad Name at home now too. This was by far the worst performance he’d ever heard her give.

 

He remembered why he’d been so taken by it now, though. She barely moved around the stage, mostly staying in one spot and looking at the same area in the audience constantly, which was where Big Bang had been sitting. He and Seunghyun in particular constantly made encouraging hand motions at her, and it looked almost like she’d been singing directly at them instead of engaging the entire audience.

 

When the video ended, Jiyong sighed as he leaned back on the couch. He hadn’t realised that Minyoung had suffered from what appeared to be stage fright. Still, though…

 

“She could have worked through that easily,” he objected. “You could have put her in a group or something and debuted them together so she wouldn’t have to perform alone until she got better at it.”

 

“We didn’t have a girl group that was about to debut at the right time, and besides, it wouldn’t have been fair to anyone involved in that situation. She had a lot of talent and potential, but she needed to grow into her image.”

 

“Her image?” Jiyong hadn’t known that she’d already had a concept picked out for her by the management.

 

CEO Yang nodded. “She was supposed to have an ice princess image - a little cool and aloof, passionate only about music and performing, perfect in every way, polite but distant.” He sighed wistfully as he thought about it. It would have been such a different concept from all the kpop idols of the time, and, he was sure, would have revolutionized the industry.

 

Jiyong was a little surprised by the image that had been selected for her - it seemed so different from the way she’d been back then. “How did this idea come about?”

 

CEO Yang chuckled. “It was mostly because of that eyebrow thing she did.”

 

Jiyong nodded, very much aware of what CEO Yang was talking about. Sometimes when she was surprised or unimpressed, Minyoung would raise her eyebrow and look skeptical, which never failed to make the person the raised brow was directed at feel about an inch tall.

 

In fact, she still did that now, most recently last night when Seunghyun had flailed his limbs in what he’d told her was an ‘octopus dance’ and almost knocked dinner clean off the dining table. Her slightly disturbed expression had made her boyfriends laugh uncontrollably, almost falling to the ground, until she’d finally joined them, wiping tears away from her eyes as she giggled helplessly.

 

Having found out what it was he’d come to discover, Jiyong left the office soon after, still unhappy with YG’s decision but at least understanding the rationale behind why he’d denied Minyoung’s desperate plea for help and forced her into such an awful position.

 

Thinking about it put him in a foul mood, so he went to see if Minyoung was free and wanted to have an early lunch with him. As luck would have it, she was happy to, and he took her to one of the exclusive, fancy restaurants that he frequented for a nice date, silencing her protests about it being too extravagant.

 

“I have more money than I know what to do with; let me spoil you a bit,” he said with a wink, and Minyoung had rolled her eyes, but subsided. He didn’t say that he felt she’d been robbed of the chance to make pots of money for herself, and after the life she’d had the least he could do was buy her a nice lunch.

 

“Minyoung-ah, have you ever thought about going back into entertainment?”

 

Minyoung paused, her fork halfway to her mouth. Putting the utensil down, she took a sip of water and thought about it. “Maybe, when I was younger, but at this point I don’t really feel the urge to. Why?”

 

Jiyong shrugged. “I was just thinking about the past, you know? You’re really talented, and it seems like a waste not to share it with the world.”

 

Minyoung hummed thoughtfully. “I guess I liked singing more than I liked performing,” she said. “Besides, I don’t think I could be in the Korean music industry now - I like my independence too much,” she cracked.

 

“You get your freedom back after you manage to prove yourself,” Jiyong objected.

 

“Yeah, that’s really more for men, though. Women still have some type of image to upkeep which prevents them from doing a lot of things, you know? Besides, I like food way too much to have somebody tell me what I can or can’t eat, and that’s something that doesn’t go away.” This was something that Minyoung knew intimately now that she was cooking frequently for her boyfriends. She didn’t mind it that much, she supposed, since she did enjoy cooking, but it was still kind of a hassle and challenging to prepare dishes around their dietary requirements.

 

Jiyong nodded, seeing her point. “I guess it’s easier to give up your freedom and all that when you’re young, before you’ve really had it.” He’d been only a child when he’d started training to be an idol, while Minyoung had lived pretty much independently for about half of her life now in New York.

 

Minyoung smiled at him then, taking his hand. “Thank you for asking, though. It really means a lot to me that you guys are so concerned about me and what I went through and everything.” She brought his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles softly, then went back to her food.

 

A second later, an afterthought hit her. “You know, the thing I actually missed the most in Korea when I was back in the States was spending time with you and Seunghyun-oppa, so the most important thing came back to me, I guess,” she said with her mouth half full of food and a sweet smile. “By the way, this is really delicious, thank you for taking me here,” she moved on seamlessly, seemingly unaware of the fact that her boyfriend was melting on the inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say that just because YG is in my story does not mean I like him or condone/excuse his actions. I started this story before he stepped down and had charges brought against him, and I can't go back and change it to erase his existence from my story now.


	17. Chapter 17

The little cocoon they’d created around themselves couldn’t last forever, of course. The demands of the outside world continued to press in on them, threatening to disrupt their cozy, peaceful existence. Big Bang was supposed to go on their international comeback tour that summer, since it had been about one and a half years since all of them had been discharged from the military.

 

Minyoung, too, was given a promotion and more responsibilities at work, with many of the newly debuted idols and actors from that season being assigned to her. She thrived on it (and of course, the corresponding raise she’d received went a long way towards paying off her loans) but it sadly meant that she had less time to spend with her boyfriends.

 

It wasn’t a big deal, though. They made up for it, adjusting their schedules accordingly to have more quality time together when they were free. Lunches and dinners when they were all at the YG building were commonplace, and they all tried to make it home by a reasonable hour so they could spend time together before going to bed.

 

Another thing that excited Minyoung was the fact that Alex and Elliot were, after dating for so many years, getting married that summer, timing the wedding to coincide with New York’s Pride. When they’d told her over Facetime that they were engaged, she’d burst into tears, she was so happy for them.

 

Jiyong and Seunghyun had come running into the bedroom, concerned, when they heard the loud screaming and sobbing that was coming through the closed door, and when Minyoung had, after trying to control her blubbering for far too long, finally been able to form coherent sentences to convey the exciting news, they’d smiled, climbed onto the bed on either side of her, and kissed her on the head while congratulating the pair.

 

(They’d realised that it had been Alex and Elliot that had tipped them off to the fact that Minyoung was in New York at the same time as them all those months ago, and were very grateful for that fact.)

 

They’d been invited for the wedding too, but because they were going to be on tour at the time, weren’t able to come.

 

Besides, Minyoung had teased, as if it wasn’t unusual enough to have a plus-two instead of a plus-one, Jiyong and Seunghyun might actually take attention away from the two grooms, which would be a travesty.

 

When Jiyong and Seunghyun had left for the tour, Minyoung started living full-time in her own apartment again, and it was smaller and colder than she’d remembered. It was surprising, and almost alarming to her that even though she’d been living on her own for so long, just a few months spent with Jiyong and Seunghyun had made the thought of being on her own again so unappealing.

 

She spent a lot of time (probably more than was appropriate for someone who wasn’t sixteen) watching fancams of their concerts at night, cocooned in her bed and sipping the tea that Seunghyun had bought her. Waking up at odd hours to video call and being serenaded by their live performances when they had their phones in their pockets on stage also became part of her routine.

 

Of course, she made sure to stay busy during the time so she wouldn’t be a mopey sad sack the whole time they were away, but the tour was about three months long and she _missed_ her boys. Work and hanging out with the friends she had in Korea weren’t enough to make up for the gaping hole in her chest left by their absence.

 

She knew they felt it too; their calls got longer and longer, even though they all knew they didn’t have time for it. She received texts from them that showed how they thought of her in small ways, things like a photo of something that reminded them of her, or a silly selfie to cheer her up when they knew she was feeling down because she missed them. They also sent her way too many gifts and postcards from the places where they travelled to, so much so that her wall was covered with kitschy little postcards of cities all over Asia and Europe.

 

Even though they were far away, they never let her feel unloved or alone, and she appreciated them all the more for it.

 

Still, though, without them around it made life just a little sadder and duller, and she found herself looking forward to Alex and Elliot’s wedding. It was coming up in just over a month, and she’d been surprised when they’d asked her to sing at their wedding.

 

When she’d mentioned it to her boyfriends over video call, Seunghyun had immediately said, “I’m going for this wedding.” Jiyong had just nodded in agreement.

 

Minyoung had laughed. “You were both invited to the wedding, and you can’t go because you’ll be in Brazil at the time!”

 

Cue a lot of sulking and increasingly ridiculous plans for them to make it to the wedding, even though they literally had a performance the same night.

 

“Come on… you listen to me sing like, _all the time_ at home, you should be sick of it by now!” she laughed. “I’m surprised they even asked me, to be honest, and for their first dance, too. It was really nice of them to give me the chance,” she said modestly.

 

“What song are you going to sing?”

 

“Oh, they asked me to sing At Last. It’s a bit of a cliched choice, you know, but I guess with them waiting so long for gay marriage to be legalized and all that, it makes a lot of sense,” she said, smiling. It seemed she hadn’t stopped smiling since they’d asked her to sing. “I’ll have to go a few days earlier to practice with the band they hired, but it should be fine.”

 

“Have fun, baby girl.” Jiyong smiled tenderly at the screen of Seunghyun’s laptop, wishing he could touch Minyoung, caress her cheek, kiss her forehead. She looked so cute like that, in her glasses with no makeup on, Seunghyun’s shirt that was way too big for her exposing her collarbones and sliding dangerously down one shoulder.

 

Minyoung bit her lip. “I will, daddy,” she promised. She usually only called him that while they were actually being intimate, but it had been over a month since they’d left, and she really missed him. Besides, he’d called her baby girl, what was she supposed to do?

 

Hearing her call him daddy, Jiyong leaned forward a little, closer to the laptop. “Yeah? You’re going to do what daddy says?” he breathed, watching Minyoung’s eyes go wide as she took in his change in tone and demeanor.

 

She set her mug on the side table carefully, then rearranged herself so that her laptop wasn’t balanced on her lap anymore, but resting on the bed, with her kneeling in front of it. Hooking her fingers in the neck of the shirt she was wearing so it revealed a little more of her decolletage, Minyoung bit her lip. “Yes, daddy,” she purred, her eyes slightly downcast to convey subservience.

 

Jiyong slid his hand into his pants, ignoring Seunghyun, who was sitting next to him, just as enraptured. “Good girl, such a good girl for daddy,” he groaned. “Take off your shirt for me, baby girl.”

 

Smiling a little to herself, Minyoung obediently removed the shirt, so she was sitting in front of the laptop in just her panties. Looking up through her lashes at the camera, she asked, “Aren’t you going to take off your shirt, daddy? You’re looking a little hot under the collar there.”

 

Jiyong laughed at her word choice. “That I am, baby girl,” he admitted, pulling his t-shirt over his head. Minyoung licked her lips unconsciously, and Seunghyun, seeing that she was fixated on Jiyong, took that as his cue to leave. It didn’t bother him; he knew he’d get his turn with her soon enough. Jiyong didn’t even notice him going.

 

“Daddy, I missed you,” she pouted. She really did - she thought about them constantly, and was basically counting the days till she could see them again. But she also really missed sex, and Skype sex and sexts were really not a good substitute.

 

“Daddy missed you too, baby girl,” Jiyong said lowly, his hand wrapping around the base of his cock and tugging, a breath hissing through his teeth as he did so. Minyoung, hearing it, pursed her lips so she wouldn’t smile, hiding her satisfaction at the thought that she was getting to him so easily.

 

Instead, she brought her arms up to fiddle with her hair, running her fingers through it and fluffing it casually, then twisting the long strands together and draping it over her shoulder. She was very aware that he was watching, transfixed, as her actions caused her chest to push out, towards the camera.

 

“You’re so pretty,” he crooned. “Is my pretty girl going to cum for daddy today?”

 

Minyoung bit her lip, sliding a hand down her stomach into her panties, toying with her clit. “If daddy wants me to,” she said coyly.

 

“Sweetie, there is _nothing more_ daddy wants than to make you cum on my cock tonight, but I can’t be there with you, so your fingers will have to do, all right?”

 

Minyoung sighed dramatically. “Okay,” she agreed, pouting into the camera.

 

“Don’t look so sad, sweetheart, you’ll have me on the first flight back to Seoul,” Jiyong laughed.

 

Minyoung bit her lip so she wouldn’t suggest that he should do just that. It was selfish of her, but sometimes she hated sharing her boys with the world, especially when they had to be gone for so long at a time. And really, she’d known intellectually what she was getting into from the beginning, but it was different from experiencing it in real life. She hadn’t expected it to be this hard.

 

* * *

 

 

Still, time marches on, and June was on them before they knew it. Hemlines shortened and sleeves disappeared (not in Minyoung’s case, unfortunately, because she had to hide her wrist tattoo) and Minyoung spent too much time lying on the cool floor of her apartment.

 

Jiyong and Seunghyun grew used to it, too, talking to her often as she lay on her back in a tank top and panties, her usual summer home ensemble. They’d asked her once about whether she was worried people would come to her home unexpectedly, but she’d just laughed and said the only people who would ever do that weren’t even in Korea.

 

They grew sadly used to seeing each other only on their screens, Minyoung flipping through selfies they’d taken or candid shots she’d taken of them kept in a secret folder on her phone. She wished she could make them her phone screensaver, like most girls did, but that would result in way too many questions.

 

They were peppering her with questions about her upcoming trip to the States, but Minyoung, half-asleep since she’d just finished her morning workout and it was Saturday, just hummed, enjoying listening to them talk. Sometimes they did that, chatted over her head in bed in the mornings, and the feeling of casual domesticity always made her feel so cozy and loved.

 

Yawning, she blinked up at the ceiling, then turned to her laptop, which was on the floor next to her head. “I miss you guys,” she said with a soft smile. “And you don’t have to worry, I’m staying with Ally, and yes I’m excited to see everyone.”

 

“Are you excited to sing?”

 

Minyoung sighed blissfully. “God, yes,” she groaned emphatically. “Singing to Alex and Elliot’s first dance… it really means so much that they asked me to. They saved my life, you know.”

 

Seunghyun wanted to ask what she meant by that, but she’d begun humming the song she was going to sing, and he got distracted.

 

“You really like that song, huh?”

 

“Oh, yeah, it’s such a classic. Plus, it was the song the Obamas danced to at the inauguration ball, you know, the first dance as first couple. It’ll be hard topping Beyonce, though,” she frowned a little. “Enough about me, though! How has the tour been going?”

 

“Well, last night we ran out of snacks in the dressing room because Youngbae and Seunghyun-hyung stole them all,” Jiyong grumped.

 

Minyoung laughed. “Doesn’t that happen at every tour, though? Come on, tell me something juicy. How many bras were thrown on your stage?”

 

They sighed at that. “You know, most Korean girls would be more upset at the prospect of that happening.”

 

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m American, then,” she teased. “I think it’s super cute. What girl _wouldn’t_ want to throw her bra at you two?”

 

Huffing, Seunghyun still managed to shoot back, “Why didn’t you at our concert in Seoul then?”

 

Minyoung, taken aback, laughed. “Fucking you backstage wasn’t enough, you wanted the bra too?”

 

Jiyong interjected, whining, “You didn’t fuck _me_ backstage, and I didn’t get a bra thrown at me, either.”

 

Minyoung turned so that she was on her side, resting on her elbow. “Don’t worry, Jiyong-oppa. When you come back, I’ll throw all the bras at you that you like,” she said, giggling.

 

“What else would you throw at me?” Jiyong questioned, interested now.

 

Minyoung put a finger on her bottom lip and pretended to think hard about it. “What would you like? Dresses, jewellery, cats?”

 

“Well, how about - wait, cats?”

 

Minyoung giggled. “Suffice it to say you can have anything you like when you come back,” she said with a wink.

 

“I’ll hold you to that.”

 

“That’s not what I want you to hold me to,” Minyoung teased, running a finger down her neck. Seunghyun’s gaze followed it intently. The man had a real kink for her neck, constantly leaving marks all over it… not to mention the choking. The night before they’d left, he’d left so many marks that it seemed as though the entire expanse of skin had just turned purple, but now that they’d been gone for so long the bruises had long faded. Even though it was far easier to get dressed without having to worry about exposing the marks that never really went away, she found she still missed them.

 

Just like she missed her boys, she thought, suddenly melancholy as she traced the outline of their faces on the screen of her laptop.

 

“Hey,” Seunghyun said softly, knowing what was going through her mind. They were used to it now, the way something would suddenly remind her of how long they’d been away and how much she missed her boyfriends, and she would suddenly become sad and quiet. “It’s only another month, and when you’re back from the States it’ll only be two and a half weeks.”

 

Minyoung gave him a halfhearted smile. “I know,” she agreed. “Korea isn’t as bright and pretty without you two, though.”

 

“Love, nothing is as bright and pretty without you,” Jiyong sighed. “It’s not that much longer, though.”

 

Minyoung smiled again, a little more genuinely this time. “That’s true,” she agreed. “Do you miss Korean food?” she asked, trying to change the subject to something a little more lightweight. It was another one of her quirks that the boys had long accepted - whenever things got too emotional for her, she always tried to lighten it up by steering the conversation to more neutral topics. They were happy to indulge her (and they really did miss Korean food).

 

* * *

 

 

Ah, New York. How deliciously foul, Minyoung thought as she hauled her luggage up the stairs of the subway exit. Home sweet home, where the acrid smell of urine assaulted her nose the moment she was on the street and a homeless person wolf whistled her as she walked quickly to Ally’s apartment.

 

Ally lived in a small studio in Harlem now, without roommates, which was something Minyoung had been impressed by, because the rent was a steal. When she pressed the buzzer, Ally immediately let her in, and she carried her luggage up the flight of stairs to her apartment.

 

“Min, hi!” Ally greeted enthusiastically, throwing open the door and hugging Minyoung tightly. “Is that your bag? Let me help you with that,” she said, grabbing the suitcase. “I wish you’d let me come get you from the airport, sweetie.”

 

“No, you shouldn’t have taken time off just for that,” Minyoung objected, following Ally in and shutting the door behind her. “It’s fine, I can manage it, you don’t have to worry.”

 

Ally smiled. “Ever the independent twenty-first century hero,” she half-sang teasily. 

 

Minyoung scoffed at her. “I’m hardly a hero, but thank you anyway,” she winked.

 

Ally just turned to the kitchenette, pulling Tupperware containers out of her fridge. “Your mom gave me way too much food when I told her you were staying with me,” she said, changing the subject. She didn’t know why Minyoung was always so reluctant to accept praise. Well, that wasn’t true - she did know, she just couldn’t seem to understand why Minyoung didn’t seem to recognize that the difficulties in her life weren’t failures, but a testament to her strength and resilience.

 

“Ooh, did she? What did she make?” Minyoung came to peer over Ally’s shoulder. “Oh my God, there’s yukgaejang and that’s japchae, isn’t it? Yes! She’s the best,” she cheered.

 

As they ate Minyoung’s mother’s food, they caught up on all that had been going on since the last time Minyoung was in the States, although Minyoung studiously avoided talking about Jiyong and Seunghyun, not sure how to explain their unconventional relationship.

 

“Have Alex and Elliot been driving you mad with the wedding prep?” Minyoung asked. She knew how the two of them could get, and was sure that the wedding would be the _most_ extra event of the year. It was going to be a fun time, for sure, but the behind-the-scenes work must have been gruelling. 

 

Ally laughed. “A little, but on the bright side, there’s no bridesmaid drama and they didn’t force me to buy an ugly dress I’d never wear again, so it’s already better than most other weddings I’ve been involved in.”

 

Minyoung nodded and held up her little glass of soju. “Amen,” she said, clinking her glass with Ally’s and downing it. American weddings really were a hassle. If she didn’t love Alex and Elliot so much, she wouldn’t have agreed to be involved in their wedding at all.

 

“I heard you agreed to sing for them, though,” Ally said. “That’s really exciting, Min! It’s going to be so beautiful,” she sighed, looking dreamy.

 

Minyoung laughed. “It’s not a big deal, Ally. It’s one song, and it’s just me, not Beyonce.”

 

Ally shrugged. “They’re not the Obamas, it doesn’t matter. It’ll be really sweet, though. I’m glad you agreed to do it,” she said, squeezing Minyoung’s hand.

 

Minyoung smiled. “I’m excited to sing for them, too. They deserve so much,” she said, a little bit of sadness clouding her eyes as she thought about how much shit they had to take, just because they were a gay couple.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, Minyoung went down to the small studio Alex had told her the band would be to practice the song with them. She’d been practicing by herself for weeks, so hopefully it wouldn’t take too long, just a matter of putting it together, and she would be free to go about her day. 

 

When she reached the studio and introduced herself to the band, though, she sighed inwardly as she kissed the rest of her day goodbye. They all seemed nice enough, but the usual lead singer was cool and condescending, clearly unhappy about the fact that he wasn’t singing _one_ song out of the many that Alex and Elliot had chosen, and making snippy remarks about how she wasn’t really a singer and might need more help and coaching.

 

“All right, maybe we can just run through it once, and take it from there?” Minyoung suggested tersely, finally having enough of his attitude.

 

Surprised that she was cutting him off, the singer, James, acquiesced quietly, continuing to sit on his chair while the rest of the band went to their instruments.

 

Taking her position on the stage, Minyoung nodded at the violinist to start, swaying for a beat before starting to sing.

 

By the time the song ended, James was looking slightly abashed that he’d been such a dick to her, and Minyoung couldn’t help feeling a little sorry for the younger man. It wasn’t like anyone had told him about her, and she wondered how many awful singers he had to try and coach for weddings.

 

It didn’t excuse his attitude towards her, of course, but his contriteness for the rest of the day, the way he’d jumped to get coffee and then lunch as an apology, really went a long way towards earning her forgiveness.

 

By the time the wedding rolled around, she’d ended up becoming friends with the band members, even James. It had certainly helped her to kill time, since Alex and Elliot were obviously busy with wedding prep and Christine and Ally had their jobs in the day.

 

The small, intimate ceremony was beautiful, of course. There hadn’t been a dry eye in the room when Alex and Elliot said their vows to each other, promising to love each other forever and a day, and a little more after that. When they’d finally been proclaimed husbands, everyone in the room cheered, then laughed when Alex had immediately cried, “Let’s go get drunk!”

 

How very them, Minyoung thought fondly as she followed the crowd to the reception venue, linking arms with Ally and Christine as they trailed behind the grooms. There was going to be what Minyoung was sure would be an amazing dinner, and then the floor would open.

 

Dressed in a pretty navy gown she’d found in Korea, a pendant Seunghyun had gifted her resting between her collarbones and the earrings from that music video dangling from her ears, Minyoung felt like she could take on the world. She’d need it too - she saw a few of her ex-colleagues, from her time working with Elliot, already seated at some of the tables, and had to go say hi to them. None of them knew she could sing, because she’d studiously refused to for years after CEO Yang had refused to let her debut, the negative emotions associated with it too much for her.

 

At the end of dinner, there was a short lapse in the activities, followed by the first dance, and Alex brought Minyoung a shot of vodka from the bar. “Here,” he said, reaching over her shoulder to put the small glass down on the table in front of her. “I know you’re going to be getting all weird and nervous about it, and you definitely need to loosen up.”

 

Minyoung looked up at him, surprised. “Thank you,” she said, squeezing his hand as he dropped it on her shoulder after releasing the glass. “This is much appreciated.” She picked up the glass and downed it, making a face at the burn. 

 

“You look great, by the way.” Craning her neck to look up at Alex in his wedding suit, Minyoung smiled at the dashing figure her friend cut. “And so does Elliot. You’re a lucky man.”

 

Alex’s eyes softened as he looked over at Elliot, talking animatedly with his sister. “I know,” he said. “Thank you again for setting us up.”

 

Minyoung laughed. “It’s no problem at all, sweetie.”

 

Alex wrapped one of Minyoung’s pretty curls (that she’d painstakingly created this morning, thank you very much) around his finger and tugged gently. “You’re pretty lucky yourself, you know.”

 

“For being friends with you two? I know, but also, gross, Alex,” Minyoung responded, gently extricating his finger from her hair. “You’re going to flatten the curl,” she protested.

 

Alex laughed. “Play dumb all you like, but later you _will_ tell me all of the details, sweetie. Mark my words.”

 

Minyoung waved him off, not taking him seriously. “Go get ready for your big dance.”

 

When he left, Minyoung got up too, taking a last drag of water before making her way over to the little stage where the band was. Smiling at the four young men, she turned toward the floor and was abruptly very glad for the shot Alex had brought her.

 

Exhaling once, she put her hand on the mic and greeted the audience shyly. “Hi, everyone. I hope you guys are having a good time so far, and enjoying this beautiful celebration of Alex and Elliot’s love for each other,” she said, smiling at the applause her statement garnered.

 

“I’m Minyoung, and I’m going to be singing At Last, at the happy couple’s request for their first dance. Please put your hands together to welcome the men of the hour, Alex and Elliot.”

 

After her simple introduction, the couple walked to the middle of the dance floor hand in hand, stopping and turning to face each other. When the opening strains of the song started behind her, Minyoung smiled at the two of them and started singing.

 

 _At last, my love has come along  
_ _My lonely days are over_  
And life is like a song

 

Watching the two of them, completely immersed in each other, the love they had for each other so clear to all, Minyoung couldn’t help but sigh in satisfaction. She couldn’t look away from how disgustingly sappy in love they were, and her heart felt like it might burst with happiness.

 _Oh yeah yeah_ _  
_ _At last_ _  
_ _The skies above are blue_ _  
_ _My heart was wrapped up in clover_   
The night I looked at you

 

If she’d looked around, instead of simply smiling at the two men, she would have noticed the surprised looks of the other guests, people she’d known in the past and strangers, who hadn’t known that she could sing. More than one person started recording her performance on their phones.  


_I found a dream, that I could speak to_ _  
_ _A dream that I can call my own_ _  
_ _I found a thrill to press my cheek to_ _  
_ _A thrill that I have never known_   
Oh yeah yeah

 

Towards the end of the song, the lyrics made her think of Jiyong and Seunghyun, and how happy she’d been since they’d come back into her life. In some of the darkest times, her memories of them had been all that kept her sane, and truth be told she’d been rather nervous to meet them again, certain that they would not be able to live up to the idealized memories in her head. She’d been right, in a way; they were definitely different from what her teenaged self had remembered, but different in all the right ways. _  
_ _  
__You smile, you smile_ _  
_ _Oh and then the spell was cast_ _  
_ _And here we are in heaven_   
For you are mine at last

 

As she finished the song, humming to the closing chords, she said into the microphone, “Please put your hands together one last time for the happy couple!” Then she got down from the stage, giving the microphone back to James.

 

As she walked back to her seat, she was accosted by an ex-colleague, who wanted to gush about how well she’d sung the song. “Minyoung, you were amazing!” Haley said effusively, squeezing Minyoung’s arm.

 

She looked down at her hand, still resting on her bicep. “Thank you,” she said awkwardly, hoping that she would take the hint and leave. 

 

No such luck, unfortunately. Haley continued, “All of us are so surprised, Minyoung! You never wanted to come for karaoke with us, so we all thought you couldn’t sing.”

 

“Well, it’s a day full of surprises, I guess. It was really nice to see you, Haley,” Minyoung said, trying to extricate herself from the conversation without being rude. Really, she should have been more prepared for the inevitability of seeing her ex-colleagues at the wedding, since Elliot still worked with them, but somehow her exuberance over the wedding had caused her to forget.

 

“It’s great to see you too, Minyoung!” Haley giggled. Minyoung supposed she shouldn’t be so annoyed - Haley was genuinely a sweet person, even if she could be a little tone deaf at times. “Fancy running into you here - none of us heard from you after you left the company, and no one knew where you went either!”

 

Minyoung smiled tightly, not liking to be reminded of that time in her life. She hadn’t left voluntarily; she’d been fired, and that incident had sparked a major depressive spiral that had culminated in… well.

 

“I work in Seoul now, actually,” she said with studied nonchalance, “so that’s probably why lots of people haven’t heard from me in a while. If you’ll excuse me,” she finally said, now that it looked like Haley was taking a second to stop talking, and walked away.

 

She headed straight to the bar after that, ordering a shot of vodka and downing it straight. Alex came up beside her, resting his elbows on the bar. “What’s up?” he asked.

 

She looked askance at him. “Shouldn’t you be off being blissfully in love with your new husband?”

 

Laughing, Alex pointed at Elliot, currently dancing with his mother. “Come on, sweetie, spill.”

 

Minyoung sighed. “Ran into Haley earlier; she wanted to congratulate me on my singing and talk about old times.”

 

Alex grimaced. “Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s not your fault,” Minyoung shrugged. “I was the idiot.”

 

Alex drew her into a hug at that. “No, don’t say that. You were going through some stuff. It happens to the best of us.”

 

Minyoung smiled and hugged him back. “Thank you,” she said gratefully.

 

“We’ll always be here for you, sweetie,” Alex said, brushing Minyoung’s hair behind her ear. “Now, tell me more about your boyfriends?” he asked, jokingly.

 

Minyoung blinked at him. “Wait, how did you know?” she blurted.

 

Alex stared down at her with wide eyes, then burst into laughter. He laughed so hard he had to hold on to the bar for balance, because otherwise he would have just fallen to the ground. “Oh, my God,” he wheezed. “Sweetie, I was joking! You mean you really…”

 

Minyoung flushed. She should have known. “No…” she denied unconvincingly.

 

“Sweetheart, you need to tell me everything,” Alex insisted, getting the bartender to pour them another round of drinks.

 

“Alex, come on, it’s your wedding day, you should be enjoying yourself with your husband, not getting involved in my drama…”

 

Alex sighed. “You’re right,” he agreed with mock seriousness, and Minyoung nodded in satisfaction, thinking he was going to disturb his new husband now and leave her alone. Instead, he yelled across the room, “Hey, Elliot!” beckoning the man over.

 

“Alex!” Minyoung whisper-yelled as Elliot jogged over, dropping a kiss on Alex’s lips.

 

“Yes, husband?” he asked teasingly, and Minyoung had to bite her lip to prevent herself from squealing at how sweet they were as Alex blushed a little and seemed to lose his train of thought.

 

He regained it soon enough, though, and pointing at Minyoung, told Elliot, “Min just told me she’s _dating them both_.”

 

Minyoung sighed and pressed a hand over her eyes as Elliot looked over at her. “Wow, good going, Min!” he laughed. “What a catch!”

 

She didn’t even want to know why he hadn’t required more information to understand the vague explanation Alex had given him. “You guys are the most embarrassing,” she groaned.

 

Alex huffed in mock affront. “Well, if we’re so embarrassing, then we won’t tell you that your dear _boyfriends_ texted me asking for a video of you singing today!”

 

Minyoung’s hand fell from her face as she gaped at them. “What?!” Was everyone in her life competing to be the most embarrassing person she knew?

 

Still, against her will, her face heated and she couldn’t hold the smile back. As extra as it was, it was also really sweet that they were so excited for her.

 

“Aww, look at her,” Alex cooed to Elliot, resting his head against his husband’s. “She’s so _in loooove_.”

 

Minyoung rolled her eyes. “Shut up,” she sniped without any heat. “Don’t you have some janitor’s closet to desecrate?”

 

Alex laughed at her. “You aren’t getting out of this that easily, sweetie. You know we love a good story. Think of this as your wedding gift to us.”

 

“I already got you a wedding gift!” Minyoung cried, outraged, but downed the drink Elliot had ordered for her anyway and settled into a comfortable position against the bar to tell her story.


	18. Chapter 18

The last week before Big Bang returned from their tour turned out to be the most excruciating, because it was their R&R week, and Minyoung got irrationally mad at them for enjoying themselves while she was stuck in Seoul missing them.

 

(Okay, she wasn’t proud of herself for breaking down in tears that one night when they’d Skyped, but in her defense, she’d spent thirteen hours in the office and they’d Skyped her from the fucking beach.)

 

Still, the day that they were supposed to return, she found herself vibrating in her seat all day, unable to keep still for more than a few minutes. It was like the time she’d filled an entire coffee cup with espresso and chugged the whole thing in one sitting. Everyone skirted around her that day, murmuring to each other to leave her alone lest she bite someone’s head off.

 

She made a note to apologize to the intern she’d left in tears next week. The girl had fled as soon as six o’clock rolled around, of course, off to enjoy her weekend, probably to get drunk with her friends and bitch about what her hag of a supervisor had said to her today. Maybe she would bring the girl that hotteok she liked from the nearby market on Monday or something. Minyoung had stayed in the office late, ostensibly to work (which she was doing), but also to wait for the boys to come back. They’d parked their cars at the YG building and left for the airport from there, so they had to come back to the building before going home.

 

She was alone in the office now, which wasn’t unusual for her, and working on some marketing collaterals that were to go out next month. So engrossed in her work, she didn’t realise how much time had passed.

 

Big Bang finally returned to the YG building at around eleven that night, four hours late because of flight delays and lost luggage that G-Dragon definitely had  _ not _ threatened to sue the airline over.

 

(What? He missed his baby girl, and sitting around an airport trying to track down Youngbae’s luggage wasn’t really what he wanted to do with his first few hours in Seoul, even if the man was one of his best friends.)

 

Seunghyun was just as antsy as he was. During the flight back he’d eaten all of his food and then started looking over at Jiyong’s plate. He’d just sighed and shoved his plate towards the older man, knowing he was a nervous eater.

 

When they arrived back in the building, Seunghyun was off like a shot, undoubtedly going to find Minyoung. Jiyong wished he could join him, but he still had some admin stuff to take care of. Being the team leader really sucked sometimes, especially when it meant Seunghyun was free to fuck Minyoung into oblivion while he was dealing with stupid paperwork.

 

Seunghyun, obviously, hightailed it to Minyoung’s office where she’d said she would wait for them to come back before they would all go home together. The box that he was holding in his hands wouldn’t wait till they were home, though. His hands buzzed where they touched the box, nerves making him weak. 

 

When he finally got to the marketing department, he hesitated nervously. Steeling his nerves, he pushed open the door, a small smile appearing on his face as he took in Minyoung, sitting at her desk with her head bent over some notes, her seemingly omnipresent noise cancelling headphones in. 

 

Sometimes he liked to play that game where he would wait to see how long it took before she noticed he was there, but not tonight. Not when he hadn’t seen her in three months and he had something very important for her.

 

Stalking over to her desk, he hadn’t even come to a stop in front of her yet when she looked up from her work and saw him. Immediately, she took the headphones off her head and threw them on the desk carelessly.

 

“Seunghyun-oppa,” she breathed, standing up. Her chair rolled a little behind her as he came to a stop in front of her.

 

“Minyoung,” he greeted, and then her hands were fisted in his shirt as she pulled him closer, angling her face upwards so that he had no choice but to kiss her, not that it was any difficulty. Their kiss started out slow and tender, but didn’t stay that way for long, becoming passionate and bruising quickly.

 

“Fuck, I missed you so much,” she moaned into his mouth, her hands tugging on his hair as she tried, fruitlessly, to get closer to him, since the desk still separated them.

 

Pulling away from her for a moment, he rounded the desk, lifting her slightly so she was perched on it as he continued kissing her, one hand cradling her head as the other started pulling her blouse out of the skirt it was tucked into. He tried to step closer between her legs, but her pencil skirt made it difficult.

 

The way he grabbed the hem clued her in to the fact that he was about to rip it out of frustration, and she quickly put a stop to that. “Oppa, no!” she said, grabbing his wrist and laughing. “You cannot tear my clothes, I’ll have to go home naked!”

 

Grumbling, he settled for pushing her skirt up past her hips to reveal the pretty black lace thong she was wearing. “Oh my God,” he breathed as she wriggled on the desk impatiently.

 

“Come on, come on,” she chanted as he stared. The reaction might have been what she was going for when she’d put this particular pair of underwear on this morning, but now that he was staring instead of touching her, she wished she’d foregone underwear altogether.

 

Taking advantage of the newfound freedom of her legs, she wrapped them around his hips and pulled him closer to her insistently.

 

“You’re such a brat,” he muttered fondly as he allowed her to drag him back, his hand cradling the back of her head as he crushed her lips under his with a bruising kiss. Minyoung pulled on his sweatshirt, drawing it up until he had no choice but to break away from her to let her get it over his head before tossing it carelessly on the ground.

 

“Wait, wait…” he groaned, pulling away from her with some difficulty, she noted with satisfaction. His movements were a little clumsier than usual when he reached behind her to grab the box he’d left on her desk, Minyoung craning her neck to see what he was picking up. She hadn’t noticed it earlier, so excited to finally see him again after all this time.

 

“Whatchu got there?” she chirped curiously.

 

Seunghyun looked up at her slightly nervously, opening the box to reveal a pretty blush collar with rose gold hardware, a white pearl suspended in the ring in the middle where a leash would be clipped.

 

“I know we haven’t talked about collaring, and this isn’t supposed to be an official collar or anything, but we don’t have a collar even for play, so I wanted to get you one because you’re special and I want to show you how much you mean to me, you know?” Seunghyun was rambling nervously now, his unease growing as Minyoung stayed silent.

 

“It’s beautiful,” Minyoung finally choked out past the lump in her throat, blinking tears away furiously. Never in her wildest dreams had she thought…

 

“Hey, are you crying? It’s okay, you don’t have to use it if you don’t like it,” Seunghyun fretted, putting the box down next to her and tilting her face up to him and using his thumbs to dab at the corners of her eyes.

 

“No, no, I’m just really happy,” Minyoung sniffled, pulling his hands away from her face. “It’s gorgeous, and I adore it,” she said.  _ I love you _ , she thought but didn’t say. “Will you put it on me?”

 

Urging her onto her feet and spinning her around gently so she faced the desk, Seunghyun fastened the delicate collar onto her neck as she held her hair up and out of the way, pulling the supple leather through the pretty buckle on the back.

 

“It looks beautiful on you,” he said in satisfaction as her fingers traced the thin strap of leather circling her neck. 

 

Minyoung looked back into the box and saw that it wasn’t empty, another length of leather in the same blush pink still sitting in the corner, folded up. She reached over and picked it up, realising when she saw the clip on one end and the loop on the other that it was a leash.

 

Turning slightly to look up at Seunghyun, whose hands were now resting on her hips, she held the leash out to him, letting it lie across her palms.

 

Giving her a sinful smile, he grabbed it off her hands, reaching over her to clip it to the ring on her collar. The way he pulled down on the leash, forcing her to bend down and brace herself on the desk in such a way that her butt was sticking out, let her know that her sweet, silly boyfriend had been replaced by her dom.

 

“Such a good little slut for me, aren’t you,” he crooned in her ear as he ran his hands down over her ass, pulling the scrap of lace away from her and letting it fall carelessly to the ground around her ankles. 

 

“Yes, sir,” she whimpered, pressing her forehead into the cool wood of the desk. 

 

“Are you wet for me already? Such a needy girl, aren’t you?” he asked rhetorically as he dipped his fingers between her folds, his thumb circling her clit relentlessly. Finding her drenched, he sucked a punishing bite into her shoulder, feeling her clench around his fingers as he did so.

 

Minyoung whined. “I can’t help it, sir. It’s been too long,” she moaned as his other hand came up around her neck, squeezing gently. She could feel his erection pressing against her, and pushed back against it, hoping he would get the idea.

 

“What do you want, sweetheart? Use your words.”

 

She bit her lip. “Please, please…” she said, unable to articulate what she wanted. She got like that sometimes when she was in subspace.

 

Seunghyun helpfully pressed the head of his erection to her, just for a second, before withdrawing. Minyoung keened in outrage and loss.

 

“You have to tell me what you want, sweetheart, or else I can’t give it to you.” He accompanied the taunt with a pinch to her clit.

 

Minyoung shivered, but it took him thrusting his cock through her folds and bumping against her clit, notching against her pussy for just a fleeting moment before gliding away, to bring the words to her lips. “Please fuck me, sir!” she gasped. “I need your fat cock in me,” she babbled, and even before the sentence was fully out, he’d breached her in one stroke.

 

“Yes,” he hissed, pushing her body down with his hand between her shoulder blades. He was really going at her, and he knew he should probably slow down because she was almost painfully tight around him, but the sobs he was tearing from her and how good she felt around him wouldn’t let him ease up.

 

He was bent over her in front of her desk when the door opened, and they paused and looked up in a panic, Seunghyun’s hands immediately going to hold the gaping front of her shirt closed to protect her modesty, even as he was still hilt-deep inside her.

 

When they saw that it was just Jiyong, he dropped the edges of her shirt and returned his hands to where they’d been before, one toying with her clit while the other held her neck tight.

 

“Aw, you started without me?” Jiyong whined as he approached them, although the way he was already unbuckling his belt and unzipping his jeans made Minyoung suspect that he wasn’t all that upset about it.

 

“You snooze, you lose,” Seunghyun said, aiming for a dispassionate tone but just a tad too breathless to really pull it off.

 

“Daddy,” Minyoung gasped, reaching one hand out to him. Jiyong put his hand in hers and let her yank him in, her hand then going up to the back of his neck to pull him down to kiss her.

 

“Hello there, baby girl,” he whispered against her lips, his fingers curled against her cheeks tenderly. “I missed you.”

 

“Missed you too,” she whined, her breath coming out in soft pants and stutters as Seunghyun continued fucking her. Jiyong’s thumb travelled down her cheek to press her bottom lip down, and she understood what he wanted.

 

“Yes, Daddy,” she said, putting her hands back down against the desk as she let Jiyong fuck her mouth.

 

“So sweet for me, baby girl,” he praised as he fished his cock out of his pants, one hand holding her face, palm to her ear and fingers twisted in her hair as he used his other hand to guide his cock to her mouth, running his hand from the base to the tip slowly as he did so. “Good girl,” he groaned as she opened her mouth for him, flattening her tongue and letting him slide right in.

 

Minyoung inhaled heavily through her nose, swallowing around Jiyong as she adjusted to the sensation of having him filling her mouth again, after so long. She looked up at him with tearstained eyes, and he cooed at her as he rubbed them away gently with his thumbs, his fingers stretched past her ears to the back of her head as he held her in place so he could fuck her mouth.

 

Saliva dripped down her chin and landed on her desk, and she would fuss over it later, probably, but for now she didn’t care. Everything was messy and wet - she could feel Seunghyun’s sweat dripping onto her back, soaking her blouse - and she loved it. Her boys were home, and they were fucking her hard, just the way she liked.

 

As Seunghyun grew closer to his orgasm, he started jolting into her faster and harder, pushing her further onto Jiyong, who wasn’t exactly complaining as he was forced down Minyoung’s throat. He knew she could handle it.

 

Minyoung had, by now, taken her hands off the desk and was bracing herself on Jiyong instead, her hands on his hips as her forehead pressed against his belly, letting him cram himself down her throat as far as he wanted to go.

 

“Ah, baby girl, you’re so good for me,” he groaned as he stroked her temples with his thumbs, his voice strained as he thrust into her mouth. Minyoung hummed around him, noises that he knew would be helpless cries of pleasure at what Seunghyun was doing to her if he wasn’t gagging her at the moment.

 

Her throat clenched around him rhythmically and his hands fisted helplessly in her hair, pulling hard on the strands tangled around his fingers as he tried not to ram as hard into her as he wanted. “God, I love you,” he panted as he felt his orgasm rush through him. 

 

A second later, Minyoung came, leaning helplessly against Jiyong as she shuddered in Seunghyun’s grip, and the rhythmic tightening of her core around Seunghyun triggered his climax as well.

 

Minyoung sagged onto her desk when it was over, pressing her burning cheek against the cool, hard surface as she panted. Seunghyun, one hand bracing his weight against the desk, pulled out of her, running his other hand down her back gently. “You okay?” he asked.

 

Minyoung swallowed hard and nodded. “Yeah,” she croaked. 

 

Jiyong stroked her head affectionately. “So good for us,” he praised. “I see hyung gave you the collar,” he commented, running his fingers along the smooth leather. “It looks good on you.”

 

Minyoung pushed herself up onto her palms and smiled up at him. “Thank you,” she preened. “It’s really pretty.” Pushing herself all the way up, she leaned against Seunghyun, reaching back with one hand to support herself by holding onto the back of his neck as she turned to press a quick kiss to his lips.

 

A giant yawn by Minyoung ended the sweet moment, as the two of them started snickering at her. She just blinked, unbothered, and started putting herself to rights. “I wanna go home,” she whined as she pulled her skirt down and started fiddling with her blouse.

 

“Right, okay,” they said, immediately springing to action, quickly getting dressed and trying to help her pack up.

 

“No, it’s okay, I can do it,” Minyoung murmured as she bent down to pick up her panties, stashing them in her bag before tossing the rest of her things in. Seunghyun reached over her into the bag and plucked the underwear out, shoving it in his pocket.

 

He shrugged when she turned to stare at him. “What? I got you a present, I want one too.”

 

Rolling her eyes at him, she nonetheless allowed him to keep it as she put her bag on her shoulder. “Let’s go home,” she said, going around the desk to take Jiyong’s hand, sliding the other into Seunghyun’s.

 

The good thing about leaving the office at close to midnight was that it was basically empty, and they didn’t have to worry about too many questions regarding their dishevelled appearance and the fact that Minyoung was basically being propped up by two members of Big Bang.

 

They went back down to the carpark, where Minyoung was impressed to see their bags already standing neatly next to Jiyong’s car.

 

“Wow, the managers sure go above and beyond for you,” she commented as Jiyong pressed a button on his car key that opened the boot. She was about to pick up one of the suitcases to place it in the trunk when both men rushed forward.

 

“No, get in the car,” Seunghyun said firmly.

 

“No, it’s fine, I can help,” Minyoung protested. “You shouldn’t treat me like a damsel in distress.”

 

“We’re not, we’ll let you help us carry your things if you like, but this is our stuff, so just go sit in the car, okay?”

 

Minyoung was pretty sure there was something wrong with that statement, but she was still a little sex-addled (not to mention tired from her long day at the office) so she just huffed and opened the door to the backseat, sliding in with a happy sigh. She’d missed this car.

 

The two men loaded their luggage into the boot and got into the car, quickly driving back to Jiyong’s apartment. They’d tried to get Minyoung to sit with them up front in Seunghyun’s lap, but she’d already been half-asleep in the backseat and nothing could have roused her from her comfortable position.

 

It wasn’t until they were all showered and tucked into bed that Minyoung remembered what Jiyong had said. She wondered if she should even bring it up - it might have just been something said in the heat of the moment.

 

Jiyong sighed, his eyes closed. “I can feel you staring at me, love. What is it?”

 

Minyoung hesitated, still not sure whether she wanted to say anything.

 

His eyes opened and he turned onto his side, facing her. “Is this about what I said earlier?”

 

She nodded slowly, biting her lip.

 

He hummed, stroking her head. “I do, you know,” he said softly. “And it’s all right if you don’t feel like you’re ready to say it yet.” He left out the part where she’d already said it months ago, even if she might not remember it. “I know things are different in the States and it might feel fast for you, so you can go at your own pace, okay? I just wanted to let you know.”

 

Swallowing back a sob, Minyoung nodded, taking his hand off her head and pressing it to her lips. The simple gesture, she hoped, would say all that she wasn’t able to say. How much she loved him. How grateful she was that he understood. How perfect he was, how lucky she felt that she was the one he loved.

 

Jiyong smiled and slid his hand behind her neck, pulling her closer so he could press a kiss to her forehead. “I love you,” he whispered against her soft skin. And somehow, Minyoung felt herself starting to believe it, that maybe everything could be okay if she just let it.

 

* * *

 

 

Being idols came with a whole host of social responsibilities as well, something Minyoung had always known intellectually, through her interactions with the idols, but which had never really registered with her since she’d never been directly involved.

 

She wished she’d paid better attention now. Maybe she wouldn’t have been as blindsided when Jiyong and Seunghyun sat her down and explained to her almost regretfully that they were hosting a party to celebrate the success of their comeback.

 

Minyoung just smiled at them, not understanding why they were being so dramatic about it. “You’ll just book out a club or something, right? It’s okay, I’ll wait here at home for you,” she said, only half paying attention to him because she was watching Netflix on Jiyong’s beautiful massive television.

 

They hesitated. “Actually…” Jiyong said, wincing.

 

“Given all the bad press surrounding clubs these days, we thought it might be more prudent to hold it somewhere else,” Seunghyun cut in.

 

Minyoung turned to look at them then, pulling her knees to her chest to cuddle the pillow that had been on her lap. “Uh-huh?” she prompted them to continue.

 

“And, uh… because I’m the leader of the group, it was kind of decided that it would be at my place,” Jiyong concluded.

 

Minyoung hummed. “Okay, when is the party?”

 

Jiyong and Seunghyun looked at each other. Minyoung was taking this better than they’d expected - previous girlfriends had always thrown a fit whenever they mentioned anything like that. That was, if they weren’t too busy being excited at being among the biggest celebrities in Seoul.

 

Naming a date two Fridays from today, they were relieved when Minyoung nodded. “Okay, I’ll just stay out of your way, then,” she said with a cheery smile. “I’ll spend the night at my own apartment.”

 

Hold up. That was not the reaction they’d been expecting or wanting.

 

“No, I -”

 

“Actually -”

 

They started speaking over each other, then both men stopped speaking.

 

Minyoung raised a brow.

 

“Actually,” Seunghyun repeated, with a look at Jiyong, “we were hoping that you would spend the night here.”

 

Blinking, Minyoung’s mouth opened slightly. “Like… come for your big celebrity party?” she questioned.

 

They nodded.

 

“But -  _ why? _ ” Her voice was trembling now, and she tried and failed to hide the distress in her tone.

 

They shrugged. “It’s your home too.”

 

“It’ll be weird for me to be here, though,” she said, her brow furrowing as she thought about it. “And I’m not sure the guests would want me to be here - I know you guys get up to all sorts of things that you shouldn’t, and they probably think of me as ‘part of the management’,” she said, putting air quotes around the last few words.

 

“No, everyone loves you,” Seunghyun protested.

 

Minyoung laughed, highly doubting it but willing to let them try and convince her anyway.

 

Spoiler alert: they succeeded. Much to Minyoung’s displeasure.

 

* * *

 

 

Putting the finishing touches on her eyeliner, Minyoung sighed at her reflection, still not sure how she’d been talked into it.

 

(She was incredibly soft for her boys, that’s how, and everyone knew it even if the lady herself was still in denial.)

 

Seunghyun, standing behind her and adjusting his collar in the same mirror, came up to press a light kiss to her temple, careful not to mess up her makeup. “You look beautiful, love. Thank you for agreeing to come to this event.”

 

Minyoung smiled at his reflection. “You don’t look so shabby yourself, babe.”

 

_ Love _ . They’d been calling her that pretty much nonstop since Jiyong’s emotional confession the night they’d returned from tour, and it made her insides melt every time. Seunghyun had never told her in quite as explicit terms how he really felt about her, but she figured he would on his own time, and in the meantime she was enjoying the pet name.

 

Jiyong emerged from the bathroom where he’d been doing his hair.

 

“Neither of us look as good as Jiyong-oppa, though,” Minyoung said, turning to wink at the man himself. He’d really gone all out with his outfit for the night, and she was  _ so _ here for it. Her go-to little black dress couldn’t hold a candle to the colourful suit he was wearing, and she puckered her crimson lips to blow him a kiss as he walked up to stand next to her.

 

“You give me too much credit, love,” he said, his fingers running down from her jaw to her collarbone, where he pressed down on a bruise he knew he’d given her in that exact spot but was now hidden thanks to the special concealer she’d begged his makeup artist to give her when wearing scarves every day had gotten too cumbersome for her.

 

(They’d tried to persuade her that she could just leave the marks uncovered, but she’d noticed the glint in their eyes whenever they saw what they’d done to her body and just rolled her eyes at them, not taking them seriously.)

 

Minyoung shivered. “Don’t start things you can’t finish,” she warned, and Jiyong immediately crowded close to her.

 

“Sweetheart, I have  _ every intention _ of finishing what I start,” he whispered dangerously and she pushed him away with a giggle.

 

“Don’t even start, we don’t have time,” she reprimanded. “But…”

 

Just to tease him, she lifted her skirt, so that he could see that she was wearing the garter belt and stockings that they’d gotten for her during their travels.

 

Both men sucked in a breath. “You’re so evil,” Seunghyun grumbled.

 

Dropping her skirt and smoothing it back into place, Minyoung smiled at them serenely. “Just a little something to tide you through the night,” she explained.

 

Before long, the apartment was crowded and Minyoung was sure that questionable things were going on in the guest bedroom. She was just glad they’d remembered to lock the door to the master bedroom - she had nothing against party hookups, just not in her own bed.

 

Fighting her way through the crush of bodies to reach the kitchen, where the island counter had been set up as a sort of bar, to refill her drink, she thought, not for the first time, that this wasn’t all that different from college parties she’d been to and felt nostalgic for the red solo cups. The glasses that were being provided were fancier, sure, but they didn’t have the same feels.

 

Fixing herself a Baileys vodka, she was on her way back to the spot where she’d chosen to lean against the wall, hopefully unobtrusively, when Jiyong materialized beside her.

 

“Hello,” she said to him, bemused. He really was the life of the party, she thought, and she was happy enough to just watch him in his element, but he tugged her elbow until she had no choice but to follow him to where Seunghyun was standing.

 

The music was so loud that she could barely hear herself think and she wondered absently if they were going to receive a noise complaint despite the soundproofing that Jiyong had done when he’d moved in, but the thought left her mind when the two men took turns twirling her under their arms until she couldn’t hold back the giggles.

 

“All right, all right,” she conceded as she started to dance with them, the alcohol in her bloodstream making her forget caution as she looped her arms around Jiyong’s neck and let Seunghyun press close to her back.

 

Maybe it wouldn’t matter if the other celebrities at the party knew about their relationship, she found herself thinking as she just enjoyed being with her boys. After all, they basically all had each other in a Mexican standoff anyway - unable to spill any gossip about another idol to the public because they all had dirt on each other.

 

She’d finally squirmed away with them because she had to use the restroom, and had just exited the room when she was cornered by a young idol. She’d freshly debuted just a few months ago, Minyoung recalled, and couldn’t be more than seventeen. Minyoung eyed her critically for signs that she’d been drinking - she  _ definitely _ didn’t want to be involved in enabling underage drinking.

 

“Hi, sweetie,” she said to the younger girl, smiling. “It’s all yours,” she gestured at the bathroom door, thinking that she’d just been waiting for her turn in the restroom.

 

To her surprise, the girl crowded closer to her in a way that would probably have been more intimidating if a  _ child _ hadn’t been doing it. “I saw you just now,” she said, trying to sound threateningly. “Dancing with GD-oppa and TOP-oppa.”

 

Minyoung wondered if the girl should actually be calling them ahjusshi instead of oppa, but just hummed in acknowledgement, wondering where she was going with this.

 

“You should stay away from them, you know. It’ll be bad for their careers,” the girl continued, and Minyoung arched a brow. She didn’t know her very well, but thought that her stage name was Yin or something like that. She’d been a YG trainee for a couple of years that Minyoung knew about, but had never been too friendly, preferring to stick to her groupmates.

 

“Thank you for your advice,” she said, trying to be polite and stepping around the girl, a little rattled by her words against her will. Sure, they were coming from a kid, but they still spoke to her deepest insecurities that their relationship with her would ultimately be the downfall of the careers they loved so much.

 

“They should be with someone who could understand what they’re going through, like another idol,” Yin called after her.

 

“I’ll be sure to relay your words to them,” Minyoung said coolly as she walked away from the strange conversation.

 

She found Seunghyun on the couch when she went back to the living room, starting to look a little pouty as he stared into the depths of his wine glass. Squinting at him, she wondered if he should be cut off before he started apologizing to everyone around him as she walked over and sat down next to him.

 

“What’s up?” she asked. 

 

He looked at her despondently. “Minyoung-ssi,” he whined. “Oppa’s sorry.”

 

She raised her brow at the use of the honorific and gently took the wine from his hand and put it on the coffee table, pressing one of the bottles of water that they’d spread out throughout the apartment into his hands instead.

 

“Why are you sorry, oppa?” Minyoung asked gently.

 

He looked at her with his pathetic hangdog look firmly in place. “Oppa can’t bring you to the Han River,” he explained sadly.

 

Minyoung was still confused. “What are you talking about?”

 

“I just remembered you telling us how much you enjoyed summer outings to Coney Island, and I wanted to bring you for a picnic since summer is ending soon, but we can’t go out together somewhere like that,” he explained.

 

Minyoung laughed at her sweet boy and wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him in slightly so she could press a kiss to his forehead, mentally thanking Sephora for the smudge-proof red lipstick.

 

“I don’t mind,” she said tenderly, stroking the back of his neck with her fingers. “Coney Island is a lot of fun, and so is the Han River, but spending time with you and Jiyong-oppa is the best.”

 

Before Seunghyun could lean in to kiss her properly, Yin appeared again in front of them, this time nearly vibrating with rage. “You’re supposed to stay away from them!” she shouted, and Minyoung sighed as she caught sight of the glass in her hand.

 

“You really shouldn’t be drinking,” she chastised gently, trying to take the drink from her. She would really need to have a talk with the boys later about inviting underaged idols to events where there would be alcohol, or at least making sure they wouldn’t be able to drink.

 

“How much have you had?” she asked, looking into the glass. She held it up to her nose and sniffed, wrinkling her nose at the strong smell. This was basically all liquor and barely any mixer. “Who fixed this for you?” She was going to have words with that person.

 

“It’s not fair for you to have them!” Yin yelled, ignoring Minyoung’s queries.

 

Seunghyun started to stand up to defend Minyoung, but she caught his arm and tugged him back down to the couch. “Oppa, she’s young, she doesn’t mean it,” she defended the girl. To Yin herself, she said, “You should have some water and go home and rest, sweetie. I’ll call you an Uber,” as she reached for her phone.

 

Yin knocked the phone out of her hand furiously. “Are you trying to get rid of me?! You can’t have them! They’re mine!”

 

Minyoung froze. Yin was already beginning to make quite the scene, and Minyoung wondered where her groupmates were and why they weren’t coming to remove her before she embarrassed herself further.

 

“People don’t own people, sweetheart,” Minyoung tried to reason with her.

 

“No, you don’t understand! Being with either one of them is like being catapulted to the top,” Yin hissed venomously. “Who are you to take that away from an idol?”

 

Thoroughly confused now, Minyoung looked around at where the half-drunk celebrities in the room were very unhelpfully gaping at the confrontation.

 

Eager to end the conversation now, Minyoung just said, “You would be better off working on your music to get to the top rather than trying to date men twice your age, love.”

 

Then she got up and started to walk away, uncomfortable with being the center of attention. All she needed was for gossip to spread about her weird confrontation with a girl almost half her age, screaming about how she wanted to date members of Big Bang for the popularity boost. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes - how had this girl even debuted?

 

And if she really wanted to go this route, why Big Bang? She would really be better off fixating on boys that were at least closer to her own age. Who on earth had put such ideas in her head, she wondered.

 

“I wouldn’t expect a member of the  _ talentless _ management to understand; everyone knows that management is full of idol wannabes who didn’t have the ability to be accepted into any trainee program but wanted to be in the entertainment industry anyway,” Yin sneered as her final sally, and Minyoung stopped in her tracks.

 

How  _ dare _ she insult the management staff. Minyoung wasn’t really that bothered personally; she had nothing to prove to anyone, and it didn’t matter to her if a fresh-faced seventeen-year-old thought she was talentless.

 

But the sheer disrespect for her colleagues made her tremble with rage. She thought about sweet Bo-ra, who was the marketing manager for Yin’s group and was so happy to work with them, Soon-ae, who was one of the most vivacious and witty women she’d known, and all the kind people in the marketing department who’d been so nice to her even when she’d arrived barely able to hold on a conversation in Korean, who always made sure to order dinner for her when she stayed late.

 

Even if some of them had really wanted to be idols, like Yin said, and couldn’t make it, how  _ dare _ she insult them in this way? They were people, with lives and personalities that bloomed brightly, who were special and unique and interesting.

 

Sensing that she’d hit a nerve, Yin continued smugly. “In fact, you’re probably the worst one of the lot, coming all the way from America just to be close to some talent!”

 

In an instant, Minyoung was standing right in front of her, Seunghyun and Jiyong standing to either side of her. Jiyong had been watching the confrontation unfold from the crowd, ready to intervene if things started getting too heated to protect Minyoung, but now he was there because it seemed that Yin was the one who needed protecting. Right before Minyoung had turned back to face her, Jiyong had seen that glint in her eyes that he hadn’t seen in fourteen years, that indicated she was gearing up to deliver an epic smackdown to whichever poor soul had gotten on her wrong side.

 

“Minyoung-ah,” he cautioned, brushing her elbow lightly with his fingertips.

 

Minyoung shrugged him off. “She thinks that management has no talent,” she told him, her eyes twinkling with amusement, her lips curled up in a slight smirk.

 

“Yes, we all heard,” Seunghyun murmured, and Jiyong sighed as he realised that Seunghyun was drunk enough to egg Minyoung on with whatever she did. He tugged on her elbow more insistently, knowing that Minyoung, while slow to anger, had a very destructive temper when it was roused, and might do something she regretted later.

 

“Management staff can’t sing, hmm?” Minyoung asked, sounding nonchalant as she made her way to the piano sitting in its own cosy nook of Jiyong’s apartment. Someone had turned off the music, and the room was silent as she sat down on the bench, raising the cover on the piano and folding the piece of velvet covering the keys neatly.

 

Yin, suddenly realising that she might have been imprudent in her remarks, tried to turn and leave, but was blocked by Seunghyun.

 

“You should listen,” was all he said, before going to stand near the front of the crowd, leaving Yin with no choice but to follow, trailing after him with a slightly lost look on her face.

 

Playing some chords and scales idly, Minyoung smiled at Yin when she saw her emerge from the crowd that had gathered.

 

“I don’t know if you know this song,” she said, not bothering to raise her voice. “It’s from one of my favourite American movies. Lady Gaga was in it, you know.”

 

With that, she started to play the opening chords to Shallow, humming along with the piano. She’d done this so many times before, on this very piano, that her fingers found the keys easily.

 

_ Tell me somethin', girl _

_ Are you happy in this modern world? _

_ Or do you need more? _

_ Is there somethin' else you're searchin' for? _

 

Her voice was light, lilting easily as she cocked her head to the side as she smiled in pure joy, just enjoying the song.

_ I'm falling _ _   
_ _ In all the good times I find myself _ _   
_ _ Longin' for change _ _   
_ _ And in the bad times I fear myself _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Tell me something, boy _ _   
_ _ Aren't you tired tryin' to fill that void? _ _   
_ _ Or do you need more? _ _   
_ _ Ain't it hard keeping it so hardcore? _ _   
_ _   
_ _ I'm falling _ _   
_ _ In all the good times I find myself _ _   
_ _ Longing for change _ _   
_ __ And in the bad times I fear myself

 

She took a deep breath as the song rose, belting out the chorus of the song without missing a beat. _   
_ _   
_ _ I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in _ _   
_ _ I'll never meet the ground _ _   
_ _ Crash through the surface, where they can't hurt us _ _   
_ _ We're far from the shallow now _ _   
_ _   
_ _ In the shallow, shallow _ _   
_ _ In the shallow, shallow _ _   
_ _ In the shallow, shallow _ _   
_ __ We're far from the shallow now

 

Her eyes found Yin’s again, and kept eye contact as her voice rose ever higher, her face tilting upwards slightly as she sang. _   
_ _   
_ _ Oh, oh, oh, oh _ _   
_ __ Whoah!

 

A slight smirk quirked her lips before she broke eye contact, her voice reaching a crescendo as she sang the climax of the song, her fingers never erring as she played the accompaniment to the song.

_   
_ _ I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in _ _   
_ _ I'll never meet the ground _ _   
_ _ Crash through the surface, where they can't hurt us _ _   
_ _ We're far from the shallow now _ _   
_ _   
_ _ In the shallow, shallow _ _   
_ _ In the shallow, shallow _ _   
_ _ In the shallow, shallow _ _   
_ __ We're far from the shallow now

 

When the song ended, her hands fell from the piano and she sat for a second, before standing up and walking back over to Yin. “If you value your career at all, you will  _ never _ be so rude about the staff that make your job possible again, do I make myself clear?”

 

The threat hung in the air for a second, and every guest who heard Minyoung knew that the warning wasn’t just for Yin, but for everyone in the room. The management staff were to be treated with the utmost respect and civility at all times. No rumours and stereotypes were to be spread about them, no uncharitable and mean assumptions.

 

When Yin nodded, Minyoung relaxed and smiled down at her. She really didn’t take much joy in tearing down children like this; it was a little sad, to be honest, and she would have walked away altogether if Yin hadn’t triggered her by insulting the whole management staff.

 

“Good girl,” she praised. “I think you’ve had enough excitement for one night, don’t you? Where are your bandmates?” she asked, grabbing a nearby bottle of water and pressing it into Yin’s hands.

 

“They didn’t come,” she said in a small voice, and Minyoung faltered for a second. That likely meant that Yin had snuck out and wasn’t even supposed to be here. Her lips thinned in displeasure - it really was irresponsible for everyone involved, especially her boyfriends, to have allowed this to happen - but she didn’t take it out on the girl, feeling that she’d probably had a difficult enough time tonight.

 

“It’s okay, I’ll get you an Uber, okay?” Minyoung offered again, and Yin nodded obediently this time, trailing behind Minyoung.

 

Minyoung walked her down to the street when the Uber arrived, not wanting the younger girl out there alone at this hour, and bade her good night. “Remember to be nice to your staff,” she reminded her before the Uber sped off, and Yin nodded.

 

When Minyoung returned to the party, she was glad to see that it had restarted, and it looked like no one was particularly interested in her anymore, alcohol and dancing having regained everyone’s attention while she was gone.

 

No longer feeling like partying, Minyoung went to find her boyfriends to let them know that she was leaving, going back to her apartment. “You can come crash at my place later if you don’t feel like cleaning up, okay?”

 

They protested, but knew she’d had enough for the night and needed to be alone, so they ultimately let her go.

 

Back in her own apartment, having sobered up some on the ride over, Minyoung buried her face in her comforter. How could she have done something so idiotic? She berated herself for letting her anger get the best of her, that stupid display she’d made just to make an unnecessary point that management staff shouldn’t be dismissed in that way.

 

And, all right, perhaps she’d been a little irked by the idea that she wasn’t good enough for her boys, that whether she liked it or not, there would be those who wouldn’t see her as a worthy partner. If she had been more sober, she would have ignored these thoughts, knowing that they ultimately didn’t matter.

 

She sighed as she turned over, staring at the ceiling. It was no use thinking about it now, she thought despondently. Hopefully there wouldn’t be issues, although she knew this was unlikely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am I writing a trashy Korean drama? signs point to yes.


	19. Chapter 19

For a while, it seemed like everything was fine. Bo-ra was all smiles for about a week, talking about how nice the new group that had been assigned to her was, and how much she enjoyed working with young artists, how adorable they were with their fresh faces and enthusiastic ideas.

 

Minyoung let herself relax, convincing herself that perhaps there wouldn’t be any consequences to her silly actions the night of the party. She didn’t fit in among her boyfriends’ social circle, and that night had made it abundantly clear. 

 

They tried to persuade her otherwise, telling her that what happened was a one-off thing, that Yin was young and silly, and she shouldn’t take it too seriously. But Minyoung couldn’t forget how out-of-character she’d acted that night, and it scared her a little, honestly, how defensive she’d been and how she’d been so uncontrolled.

 

Still, life goes on, and she threw herself into the rhythm of work and committed herself fully to her relationship, knowing that they were living on borrowed time and wanting to make as many memories as she could before all this was ripped from her. Being with them… it was the happiest and most content she’d been in her entire life, and the knowledge that this would all be gone one day was the only shadow cast over her life.

 

Alex and Elliot had, after returning from their honeymoon, sent the promised video of Minyoung singing to their first dance, and her boys had been embarrassing about it, to say the least. Jiyong had even uploaded a small section of it to his personal social media because he ‘wanted everyone to know how talented his girlfriend was’, which wasn’t that personal since he had a ton of other idols following him.

 

Idols who had been at the party.

 

Idols who blew up his DMs asking if this was the same girl who sang Lady Gaga’s song at said party.

 

Minyoung was ready to murder Jiyong. It was fine, she would still have one more boyfriend, she rationalised to herself as she contemplated choking the life out of him when he showed her all the messages from his idol friends.

 

(Her anger dissipated quickly when he’d just winked at her and said Seunghyun would be jealous if she choked him.)

 

Her panic over the whole situation was only assuaged by Seunghyun forcing her to talk about why she was so anxious, insisting that it would help.

 

(It did.)

 

Minyoung sat in silence for a moment, reflecting on her emotions and thoughts and pulling them into a coherent form that she could explain in a way that made sense.

 

“I… just don’t want people to know about me,” she began. “Being in New York… it gives you a sense of anonymity, you know? Like, even if your life falls apart you at least don’t have to worry about people getting up in your business and finding out and talking about you, unless you want them to. Being in the center of attention like this… it’s disturbing for me.”

 

Seunghyun nodded encouragingly, reaching out to take her hand in his but otherwise letting her continue uninterrupted.

 

“And you saw what happened that night; even if only celebrities know it doesn’t mean that we’ll be accepted, and I don’t want to put our relationship under that kind of strain.”

 

He hummed thoughtfully, mulling over what she’d said, but it was Jiyong who spoke first.

 

“Love, nothing anyone said could make us leave you,” Jiyong promised. “Don’t you remember? We would set the world on fire for you,” he said, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek.

 

Minyoung smiled and leaned into Jiyong. She knew there was nothing he could do about the attention that being with them would bring her, and that he was already trying his best to minimize the disruption to her life.

 

And she appreciated it, really, knowing how big his mouth was. While all of them were notoriously close-lipped to the press, he’d always been more than happy to talk about his fling of the week with his friends, even back when they were trainees. Minyoung remembered being quite happy listening to him then, living vicariously through his exploits and just generally in awe over all the stories he’d told her.

 

“Okay,” Minyoung said. “You can post about me on your social media if you really want, I guess.”

 

It couldn’t hurt, right? Letting them live out this perfect life she’d dreamed about for so long before she had to put a stop to it?

 

* * *

 

 

Things were going great, Jiyong and Seunghyun agreed. They were back in Korea for the foreseeable future, doing lots of promotions and focusing on solo stuff, Seunghyun picking up a couple of acting roles while Jiyong got busy producing songs for other YG artists.

 

Now that all the travelling was done for a while, they could really focus on their relationship with Minyoung, which had stagnated since for a large chunk of the time they’d been together they hadn’t been in the same city, with first the domestic tour, then the international tour taking them away from Seoul and their girlfriend.

 

They hadn’t really talked about their relationship, and where it was all going, but given the way Minyoung seemed to be there with them at every step of the way, it wasn’t difficult to assume that she was just as committed as they were. It would be difficult, for sure, because their relationship was so unconventional, but they could make it work.

 

And with Minyoung starting to loosen up about other people knowing about them, it really made it easier for them to be together. Not by much, of course, since the public still couldn’t know so it wasn’t like they could walk down the street holding hands like other couples did, but enough for them to go out together to exclusive bars and restaurants, allowing them to spoil their girl the way she deserved to be pampered.

 

When they didn’t have schedules, they spent a lot of time at home, or at the studio with Minyoung when she didn’t have to work, jamming together. They let her listen to whatever music they were working on, and she sang with them more than she had in years, making music just for the sheer joy of it.

 

(Jiyong may or may not have started a miniseries on his Instagram stories of Minyoung singing both with and without them, though as a compromise he never actually showed her face.)

 

They formed a bubble around themselves, just living for the present, all of them a little afraid to discuss the future because it was so scary and uncertain, but never fully content because of it.

 

* * *

 

 

It was the middle of winter when Youngbae and Eunran announced that they were expecting. They’d done it right, too, inviting the rest of the band, plus Minyoung, Kyungmi and a few of Eunran’s closest friends to their home, a simple announcement and showing off the sonogram to the group that had gathered.

 

After oohing and ahhing appropriately, Minyoung left with her boys, her heart heavy. She was so happy for her friends, knowing that this was all they’d ever wanted, that both of them  _ adored  _ children and had been thinking about this since they’d married - hell, probably even before that.

 

Watching the happiness on her boyfriends’ faces as they talked excitedly about the first Big Bang child, and how they couldn’t wait for Taeyang’s little sun (hehe) to get here so they could spoil them rotten, like any other Big Bang children that would follow.

 

Her heart sank as she caught the twinges of envy that would flash across their expressions now and then when they thought no one was looking, the way their eyes would skitter over to her once in a while, as if wondering what it would be like to have children with her.

 

Because it wouldn’t happen.

 

How could it? A family unit with three parents instead of two? Without marriage, which was very much the norm in Korea still, even if having children out of wedlock was getting more common in her own country? Whose last name would the child take?

 

Being in a secret relationship worked for the time being, but in order for their relationship to progress in any meaningful way, it wouldn’t work.

 

Which was why she had to end it. All the things she knew they wanted - marriage, children, a cute and happy family to spoil - they couldn’t have them with her. Even though it broke her heart, she knew she couldn’t be selfish. She had to let them go, so they could have the lives they’d always dreamt of.

 

Seunghyun, whose lap she was sitting on, bounced her slightly. “You okay there? You’ve been really quiet.”

 

She forced a smile, tucking her face into his neck so he wouldn’t see her expression. “Yeah, I’m good. I’m just tired, and really surprised, you know? I didn’t realise they’d been married for so long until they announced that they were having a child.”

 

She didn’t know why they insisted on driving 2-seater cars out when there were three of them now and it wasn’t like they didn’t between the two of them have a literal fleet of more appropriate cars, but she couldn’t deny that it was kind of nice to be cradled in Seunghyun’s lap like that.

 

(That was literally the reason why they continued using those cars.)

 

Seunghyun stroked her hair and hummed, and Minyoung smiled, feeling the vibration of his throat against her face. She would miss this, she thought. She would miss all of it, and the temptation to be selfish and continue living like this with them was almost too much for her. If she broke up with them, there probably wouldn’t be anyone else for her, she knew. Even back in New York, while she’d been with other men, her feelings for her boys had been at the back of her mind, and now that she actually knew what it was like to love and be loved by them, real love, not just silly teenage infatuation… she’d been lucky enough to experience this kind of love, not just with one person, but with two. There was no way she would be fortunate enough to experience this a third time.

 

It was okay, though.

 

Watching them be happy with other women, in more normal relationships, getting married and having children…

 

It would hurt, but it would also be enough for her, knowing that they were content and enjoying their lives. Her boys deserved so much that she couldn’t give them, that other women could. Women who weren’t damaged goods, who could love them, with their whole hearts, the way they deserved.

 

She would have to be the one to end it, she knew, and to make it clear that they needed to move on.

 

But, just for a little bit, she could be just a  _ tad _ selfish, couldn’t she?

 

* * *

 

 

It was another two weeks before Minyoung could muster up the courage to do what she needed to do. She quietly packed her things on a Saturday while they were out, off at a photo shoot for a product endorsement. Most of the overly extravagant gifts they’d given her, she’d left, uncomfortable with the thought of keeping them after they were no longer together.

 

The only thing that gave her pause was the collar. She sat on the bed with the strap of leather in her hands, unable to decide what she should do with it. It was so precious to her, easily her most treasured possession, and yet it wasn’t really hers, was it? It belonged to him, just like she did. Just like she always would.

 

Trying not to cry, she held it against her throat, turning to the mirror so she could see how it looked one last time.

 

Then she left it on the bed, on the pillow that Seunghyun always used, and this time she couldn’t stop a tear from leaking out as she stroked it one last time.

 

Biting her lip and swallowing hard, she brushed the tear away impatiently. If this was going to work, she would have to implement with full commitment.

 

Bringing her bags out to the living room, she sat down on the couch and waited for them, looking around the apartment. It was so full of memories now, every inch of the apartment made her think of a beautiful moment with her boyfriends. There was the couch she was sitting on now, where she’d ridden Jiyong, slow and tender, the kitchen where Seunghyun had bent her over that one time…

 

Ai, sensing her mood, came over and hopped up onto the couch, curling up on her lap and going right to sleep.

 

Minyoung sighed and started petting the cat obligingly, scratching behind her ears the way she knew she liked. “I’ll miss you too, you brat,” she told the cat fondly. “I wish my life was as easy as yours, you know? All you have to do is eat and be adored.”

 

So caught in explaining her jealousy to Ai, she missed the sound of the door opening until Jiyong, taking off his shoes, said offhandedly, “All you have to do is eat and be adored too, love.” Then, his shoes neatly kept away, he stepped into the apartment proper and came over to her, dropping a kiss on her forehead.

 

Seunghyun followed, but noticed the bags sitting next to the couch before he reached her.

 

“Minyoung-ah… are you going somewhere?” he asked.

 

Minyoung bit her lip and stood up, dislodging Ai who hissed at her in irritation and disappeared out of sight.

 

Well, that seemed about right, Minyoung thought. The cat should hate her as much as her owner would in about two minutes’ time.

 

“Yes,” she said, trying to inject more certainty than she actually felt into her voice. “I’m leaving.”

 

Jiyong’s brow furrowed, not following. “Leaving? That’s a lot of stuff,” he said, looking over the bags. “Are you going to New York?”

 

Minyoung pressed her lips together, trying not to cry. God, why were they making this so hard? Did she have to spell out every single heartbreaking detail?

 

She nodded, schooling her expression into calm indifference. “It is a lot of stuff,” she agreed. “It’s all the stuff I have in your apartment.”

 

“My apart- no,” Jiyong breathed in horror, taking a step towards her. “Minyoungie,” he said softly, his eyes begging her to tell him she was joking, that this was all a misunderstanding.

 

Minyoung swallowed hard, forcing the callous words out of her mouth even though they threatened to get stuck in her throat. “Come on, oppa,” she said. “You can’t have thought that this would last forever, right?”

 

The two men shared a look of wild panic - they had, in fact, been banking on this lasting forever. God couldn’t be so cruel as to show them what happiness looked like, only to take it away, could he?

 

“Minyoung-ssi, why are you doing this?” Seunghyun asked, his voice low.

 

_ Because I love you, _ her mind screamed.

 

“Because I’m tired,” she said instead. “I’m done with all the sneaking around, and pretending, and having to hear my boyfriends deny my existence in public and talk about how  _ single _ they are.”

 

“Minyoung-ah, if you really felt that way, all you had to do was say so,” Jiyong said, his voice urgent, the words spilling out faster than they ever had before, so quickly it sounded almost like he was rapping.

 

“We’ll talk to CEO Yang, tell him we want to tell people we’re in a relationship. Youngbae announced that he was getting married, and it was okay, everyone was so happy for him…” As he spoke, he closed the short distance between them, cradling Minyoung’s face in his hands. “Just please, please… don’t leave us.”

 

His words made Minyoung feel almost dizzy. The temptation to just  _ let  _ them have their way, do what they wanted because it was what she wanted too, was overwhelming.

 

But she couldn’t.  _ Implement with full commitment. _

 

Minyoung pulled away from him, even though the very act made her heart feel like it was tearing in two.

 

“I don’t want to be paraded around variety shows and have the world know my business either, Jiyong-oppa,” she said, impressed with how steady she managed to keep her voice, sounding almost nonchalant when she was a mess on the inside. CEO Yang should really have tapped her to train as an actor too, she thought a little hysterically.

 

“You don’t have to, we’ll protect you, fuck -” he mumbled, clinging to her. She let him, but didn’t hug him back, instead looking up at Seunghyun, who was standing a few steps away from them, silent, his expression showing his devastation.

 

_ I’m sorry! _ She wanted to scream it.  _ This is for your own good! _

 

But she couldn’t. She had to make them think this was over so that they would move on properly, find other people who could love them properly, who could be out in public with them and do the cutesy relationship thing with them. They deserved someone who wasn’t so fucked up she needed  _ two _ boyfriends.

 

“There’s no way you can do that, oppa,” she said, twisting out of his grasp and going to pick up her bags. “It comes with the territory. Being with a celebrity… it means no privacy. And I’m not okay with that.”

 

“Minyoung-ah… don’t you love us anymore?”

 

Seunghyun’s whispered words made her freeze, her fingers wrapped loosely around the handle of the bag she’d been picking up.

 

How could he know that? She’d been so careful not to tell them she loved them, sure that it would just make the inevitable separation harder on them all.

 

Tightening her grip on the bag as the moment passed, Minyoung didn’t respond, brushing past them on her way out the door.

 

“For what it’s worth…” she said at the entrance, “it was fun while it lasted.”

 

Then she left, her head down, not even trying to stop the tears streaming down her face. The Uber driver gave her a weird look as she got in after piling all her shit in the boot, starting to ask if she was okay.

 

“Yeah,” she said. “Just- bad breakup,” she explained shortly, the simple words totally inadequate to capture her heartbreak.

 

“She really left…” Jiyong whispered, the words bouncing off the walls of the suddenly too-empty apartment.

 

Seunghyun didn’t have the ability to say anything, collapsing weakly on the couch where she’d been sitting, feeling the warmth from her body on the couch cushions.

 

He couldn’t believe what had just happened. How could she just be gone, like that? It made no sense at all. His vision seemed to blur and his lungs constricted, suddenly feeling like there wasn’t enough oxygen in the air.

 

“Hyung, you okay?” Jiyong asked, concerned, watching his friend carefully. As distraught as he was, he knew Seunghyun was more mentally and emotionally vulnerable, and definitely needed someone to keep an eye on him right now.

 

Seunghyun thought he might have nodded, but he wasn’t sure. He staggered to the bedroom that he’d thought of as theirs, but was probably just Jiyong’s now, needing to lie down.

 

When he got to the bed, though, he saw the collar he’d given Minyoung resting on his pillow, and felt fresh heat behind his eyes, tears forming as quickly as he blinked them away. He picked it up gently, turning it over and over in his hands.

 

The collar had been so special to him; he’d had it made specially for her during the world tour, and the thought of the collar in its box, nestled in his luggage, had made the months away from her bearable. It looked so innocuous and insignificant in his hands, but every time she’d let him fasten the item to her neck, pulling her hair off her neck and out of the way, he’d been so… well, turned on, yes, but also  _ happy.  _ It had meant that she trusted him, that she  _ wanted _ him.

 

Now it lay in his hands, and she was gone. She didn’t want him anymore.

 

Clutching the collar to his chest, he lay down and cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter update today as I'm gearing up for the next arc of the story.
> 
> and yes, get ready for a boatload of angst because I live on that shit.


	20. Chapter 20

It was painful, Youngbae decided, to watch your best friends falling apart while there seemed to be nothing you could do about it.

 

It was even worse when it was so sudden and inexplicable, they’d been  _ fine _ just a couple of days ago when he’d seen them for dinner, when they’d had to hastily excuse themselves after Seunghyun’s fingers had somehow found the cute choker Minyoung was wearing and had basically dragged her out by it.

 

He still wanted to buy eyes that hadn’t seen that.

 

A couple days later, though, and all of them were becoming disasters. Seunghyun cancelled all his appointments for the week, nearly giving his poor manager an apoplexy, Jiyong stopped working on the upbeat songs he’d been halfway through writing and started composing melodies so sad and angry they’re chilling to listen to, and poor Minyoung seemed to turn into a ghost haunting the YG building.

 

A shell of her former self, she drifted forlornly around the office, refusing to talk to anyone. He even heard a rumour that she showed up to work the other day without even drawing her eyebrows on, which was as sure a sign as any that she’d given up on life.

 

She avoided the parts of the building where the boys could be like the plague, staying away from the dance studios, recording studios, music studios… basically all of the studios, as well as the gym. It was difficult enough not running back to Jiyong’s place to beg for forgiveness without seeing them.

 

It was for the best, she insisted to herself, and that was all that kept her stubbornly set on the path she’d chosen. She might be miserable for the rest of her life, but they would move on, and that was all she needed, for her loves to be happy.

 

And she did love them.

 

Now that there was no way she could let it slip, she finally admitted it to herself, letting it wash over every inch of her soul, searing itself into her flesh. It hurt so much, but it was a punishment she deserved, she thought, for ever letting things get so out of control, for accepting their advances when she should have known better.

 

Everything she touched turned to shit.

 

* * *

 

 

Jiyong floated through life like a sad cloud, unable to focus on much for long. It really was difficult, Taeyang thought, watching him mope over the song he was working on with his best friend, and when he’d actually seen Jiyong cry one evening over a particular line that had apparently been inspired by Minyoung, he’d had enough.

 

Okay, maybe he’d had enough because the line was actually borderline dirty and that was just way too sad to even contemplate.

 

They’d all been evasive about what had happened (and Minyoung seemed to have vanished off the face of the earth altogether, which was quite a feat since they worked in the same building) until that point, but when Youngbae asked Jiyong what was happening while he patted the man’s back awkwardly, it had all come spilling out.

 

That was the first night that Jiyong went out clubbing after the breakup. It had been a long time since he’d processed his heartbreak in this way and he’d thought, before Minyoung, that he was mature enough to deal with his emotions in a more mature and constructive manner.

 

But Minyoung made him feel young again, like a dumb teenager running after her with his heart in his hands, so he supposed it was fitting enough that he would act like a childish brat. Just once more, he promised himself as he downed shot after shot of top-shelf whiskey between bouts of dancing.

 

Between the drinks and the loud music, he was almost able to forget, just for a little while, about just why he was so upset, the pounding beat forcing his already alcohol-addled thoughts out of his mind altogether.

 

This was amazing, he thought as he bumped into an overly muscled guy in a leather jacket who was trying to chat up a decidedly uninterested lady.

 

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing, you stupid punk?!” the guy turned around to snarl.

 

Jiyong just laughed in his face. He couldn’t scare him. Nothing could scare him now. It was difficult to feel fear  _ after  _ the worst had already happened. “Trying to get a drink, asshat,” he drawled, “and probably saving someone from your sweaty paws.”

 

The girl, taking advantage of the distraction, slipped away, melting immediately into the crush of bodies in the club.

 

_ “Fuck you, you stupid fucking shit -” _ the furious exclamation of the musclehead was cut off by Jiyong punching him in the face.

 

Shit. He internally panicked for a moment, knowing this wasn’t good - with his luck, the paparazzi would be right outside; someone would definitely post a video online of G-Dragon getting into a fight at a club; he would be in  _ so much trouble… _

 

But the guy was advancing on him again, and all those thoughts evaporated as he had to duck the fist hurtling towards his face.

 

“Jesus,” he breathed, the exhilaration singing through his veins. Finally, a chance to relieve all the stress and angst of the past few weeks.

 

He got more into the fight than he probably should have, given that it really only ended when he was laid out on the probably grimy floor of the club. The drunken crowd didn’t even take too much notice of him, stepping around him casually. He grimaced as a girl who was dancing with her drink in hand splashed some on him, but was overall quite content lying on the ground.

 

Not that he could get up if he wanted to, after having upwards of ten drinks tonight.

 

Thankfully, someone was looking out for Jiyong that night, and the bartender had called someone to come get Jiyong the moment he started throwing punches. He wasn’t sure who this girl was - she wasn’t an idol or anything - but he’d seen her coming to pick up Jiyong and Seunghyun enough times that she’d eventually left her number with them.

 

Minyoung had been at home, wrapped in one of Jiyong’s t-shirts that he’d left in her apartment once and looking through old pictures of them because she was just a loser like that, when she’d received the call from the club.

 

She sighed as she swiped to pick up the call. Should she go to the clubs that had her number to tell them to stop calling her?

 

“Uh, hi, G-Dragon is in a fight with someone and - oh, it’s over, he’s on the floor now, can you come and get him?”

 

God damn it. There was no way she could squirm out of this one. She contemplated calling his manager to go get him, but that seemed a little mean. He had his own family, too.

 

“All right, I’ll be right there.”

 

Not being in Jiyong’s apartment and having access to his cars made things a little more difficult, logistically speaking, because she didn’t have her own car, but she took an Uber there. Turning up at the club in her pajamas with a coat hastily thrown over and a bare face with a messy ponytail might have made it difficult for most girls to enter, but even the bouncer knew her because her boys liked this club so much, so he just gave her a commiserating smile as he let her in.

 

It didn’t take her long to find Jiyong, still on the ground - seriously? Why hadn’t anyone helped him up yet? This was bullshit, she thought - and she crouched on the ground next to him.

 

“Hey,” she said, patting his cheek. “You doing okay there, champ?”

 

He groaned and opened his eyes with some difficulty. “Minyoungie,” he breathed. He didn’t often call her that, but it seemed like when he was drunk or emotional he became more Korean.

 

Jiyong thought he was having an alcohol-induced dream, but whatever it was, he was here for it because Minyoung was here, in the club, looking at him like she  _ cared _ about him again. She gave him a small smile and his heart squeezed.

 

“Sweetie, you shouldn’t be out here getting into fights and sleeping in clubs,” she chastised gently. “Let’s get you home, okay?”

 

“Home,” he repeated, holding his arms out to her, and she rolled her eyes fondly as she picked him up, catching him by the waist when he started swaying dangerously. Before they exited the club, she fished a mask out of her coat pocket and put it on his face, looping the edges around his ears tenderly.

 

“Don’t want anyone taking any more photos of you tonight, right?” she cracked, brushing his sweaty bangs off his face.

 

She managed to get him into the cab, allowing him to lie down with his face in her lap during the journey, stroking his hair gently. Her heart squeezed when he nuzzled her thigh, looking so sweet and innocent with his face slackened in sleep.

 

God, this was bad. This was such an awful mistake. She should have just called the manager, she knew it was a flimsy excuse because she’d just wanted to  _ see _ Jiyong again, take care of him, and she’d ignored her common sense for just a short while because she’d missed him so much.

 

She wondered if it would ever stop hurting. Probably not, but it definitely wasn’t helping that she was doing things like this, grasping at straws to see her boys again, rubbing salt into the wounds. It was all too easy to forget that they were broken up with his head in her lap.

 

When they finally pulled up at Jiyong’s expensive apartment complex, Minyoung thanked the driver and shook Jiyong awake. He sat up and blinked, adorably confused.

 

“We’re home,” Minyoung told him, opening the car and getting out, then helping him out too.

 

Home - another thing she would need to readjust. Her home wasn’t here, in Jiyong’s apartment, anymore. It was New York. It was a shitty little studio on the other side of town. 

 

It was, she supposed, being cold and alone. But not right now, with Jiyong wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his forehead on her shoulder as they waited for the elevator to bring them up to his level.

 

“Oppa, you shouldn’t,” she protested quietly, but didn’t make a move to leave his embrace.

 

“No,” he whined childishly. “I can’t stand properly on my own.”

 

As the elevator doors dinged open, Minyoung stepped out of his grasp and led him into the elevator, sighing as she pressed the button to his floor. His arms snaked around her waist from the back, trapping her. “Minyoungie,” he breathed into her ear. “I missed you so much.”

 

She held back a sob. She was trying to be a good person, to do the right thing, but it was so  _ hard _ when he sounded so forlorn.

 

Still, he was incredibly drunk, right? He probably wouldn’t even remember this tomorrow. It would be safe for her…

 

“I missed you too, oppa,” she said as the elevator doors slid open, and she half-dragged him to his front door. When he didn’t seem like he was going to open the door, instead focusing on tugging on her ponytail with his nose buried into her neck like a puppy, she sighed and keyed in the password for the lock herself, surprised to see that he hadn’t changed it since she’d left.

 

Opening the door, she was immediately hit by an onslaught of emotion as she stepped into the apartment that held some of her most precious memories. It was still immaculate as ever thanks to the housekeeper he’d hired, unlike her own, which had become quite the mess since she had hardly been in the mood to clean much.

 

“Oppa, you should get some sleep,” Minyoung said, turning to face him as he toed off his shoes and stepped into the apartment.

 

“Mm, sleep sounds good,” he mumbled as he drifted towards his bedroom. Helplessly, she followed, just to make sure he didn’t accidentally choke on his own vomit or something.

 

Okay, so she just wanted to catch a glimpse of the bedroom she’d had her brains fucked out in. She was in this deep already, might as well go all out, right?

 

Watching as Jiyong tumbled onto his bed, not even bothering to crawl under the covers, Minyoung sighed. “Oppa, you should at least change, you’re going to feel bad tomorrow if you sleep in your clothes.”

 

An indistinct whine was the only response he gave her.

 

“Oppa, come on,” Minyoung went to the closet, determinedly  _ not _ looking at the drawers that used to be hers, and pulled out a set of pajamas. “You’re already going to feel like shit tomorrow morning because you drank so damn much and you were lying on the ground and aren’t showering.”

 

Jiyong groaned, but didn’t otherwise move, and Minyoung sighed as she pulled him into a sitting position, his head resting against her belly. “You really are something else,” she huffed fondly as she divested him of his shirt and pulled the pajama top on.

 

“Minyoungie, will you stay?” he murmured into the soft fabric of the t-shirt she was wearing.

 

“Oppa, you know I can’t,” she sighed as she stroked the back of his neck.

 

He yawned and let her push him back on the bed. She thought about helping him with his pants too, but decided against it, throwing the folded pajama bottoms onto his chest. “You should change into these, your pants look like they’re cutting off circulation. You’re not going to have kids if you keep wearing these.”

 

He absently unbuckled his belt. “Not going to have kids anyway if you won’t come back,” he slurred.

 

She sighed, sitting next to him and brushing his hair off his face. “You don’t mean that,” she chastised gently.

 

He shrugged. “I love you,” he said sadly. “I still don’t understand what happened.”

 

She leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead. “I hope one day you’ll get it,” she said softly, even though the words still seemed too loud in the dark and the quiet. “All I want is for you to be happy.”

 

No response. He’d fallen asleep.

 

Minyoung went to the kitchen and got him a glass of water, then rummaged in the drawer for the painkillers she knew were there because she was the one who’d bought them and put them there. Placing both down on the bedside table so he would have easy access to them when he woke up tomorrow morning, she turned to look at him once more before she left, soaking in the sight of him asleep, one arm tossed over his head, the other hand resting on his belly, where his shirt had ridden up just a little bit.

 

Sinking her teeth into her lip viciously to keep herself from crying, she left.

 

When Jiyong woke up the next morning, he was a little confused to find himself in bed since the last thing he really remembered was being unconscious on the floor of the club. Turning onto his side, he saw the painkillers in a little dish next to a glass of water, and it reminded him of how awful he felt.

 

Downing the medicine, he lay back on his back and looked up at the ceiling, trying to figure out just what had happened last night and how he managed to get back home and - he squinted downwards - into his pajamas.

 

He had a vague recollection of Minyoung, although he really wasn’t sure what was real and what had been a drunken hallucination, since she’d been on his mind nonstop and all he’d been dreaming about was her.

 

Still, even if it had been a dream, it had been a good one, so real, unlike the other dreams he’d had of her before. If getting wasted was what it took to see her again… well.

 

* * *

 

 

Youngbae couldn’t say that he was particularly surprised that Jiyong had gone back to his excessive clubbing days, although he was hardly pleased about it. When he asked the other man about it though, he just got evasive.

 

It wasn’t like Jiyong didn’t know that it was more than a little pathetic to go on self-destructive benders in the hope that Minyoung would come to pick him up from wherever he ended up collapsing, although in all fairness, she  _ had  _ been reliably coming to collect him whenever someone called her.

 

It happened enough that even though he was always three sheets to the wind when he saw her, he started piecing together the fragments that his sober mind could recollect and realised that it was real, that he wasn’t just imagining her coming.

 

Each time Minyoung would chide him gently, tell him he should take better care of himself, let him glomp her, and even sat with him and rubbed his back comfortingly whenever he threw up. They never talked about it, because he never saw her outside of those times she came to pick him up, and he was in no position to be having a serious conversation when he could barely see straight.

 

It wasn’t enough, but it would do.

 

Really, though, there was no way to put it in such a way that it wouldn’t sound unbearably pathetic to anyone who wasn’t Seunghyun, who had gone radio silent.

  
  


Ah, Seunghyun. The one Youngbae was the most worried about. No one had heard from him since the breakup, and even Daesung, who was closer to him than Youngbae was, couldn’t get much out of him. Texts went unanswered, and he’d even gone to his home, but all Seunghyun did was sit there silently, refusing to respond to any questions or attempts to start a conversation.

 

He’d gleaned that they’d broken up when Jiyong got sullen and angry the last time Youngbae had asked after Minyoung, saying that he hadn’t seen her in a while, and snapped, “How the fuck should I know?!”

 

After that, he hadn’t asked Jiyong about her anymore, although he was curious and worried about her too. The rumours about her kept getting more and more dire, but at least he knew she was still turning up to work, which was more than he could say for Seunghyun, who’d finished up a few of his projects and pulled out of the ones he had agreed to do but hadn’t started yet, citing personal issues.

 

CEO Yang hadn’t been pleased, and it had taken the rest of the boys, Jiyong included, intervening on his behalf for him to grant Seunghyun some leniency.

 

Unbeknownst to the rest of them, Minyoung was the only one who was still in occasional contact with Seunghyun. Initially she hadn’t replied to his texts, but she’d felt so awful about leaving him like that, with such a poor explanation for what had happened, that when he sent her a text message just begging her to explain what he’d done wrong, she’d had to reply to let him know that none of it was his fault, that he’d been perfect, and it was because of her, because she was so flawed, that she’d had to end it for his own good.

 

He never pressured her or begged her to come back, just wanting to know how she was doing, if she was taking care of herself.

 

She lied and told him she was doing well, so that he wouldn’t worry about her, and could move on and live his life well.

 

When she tried to inquire about his wellbeing, especially after hearing from the grapevine that he’d taken a self-imposed hiatus, he just told her that he needed some time to be alone. She could understand and respect that, so she just told him to take care of himself and left it at that.

 

She tried not to text him too much, though, knowing that it would make it more difficult for them all. Hell, she shouldn’t have contacted him at all; it was just that he’d sounded so  _ forlorn _ even as words on her phone screen that she couldn’t help it, she had to comfort him.

 

She ignored most of her other texts, though - she saw Jiyong often enough, and wasn’t really in the mood to talk to Youngbae or Daesung because she didn’t want to rehash the breakup. She knew they would probably be angry or, at the very least, upset and disappointed that she’d broken up with them, and wasn’t really in the mood to be yelled at or lectured. Besides, even if they were friends with her, they were first and foremost Big Bang members, which meant their loyalties lay with the boys.

 

It was natural, and she wasn’t upset or betrayed - it was good that they had friends who were willing to help them through it.

 

She wished her friends could too, but they were sadly halfway across the world - not many people in Korea knew that she’d even dated them for about a year, for obvious reasons. She still appreciated her privacy and it wasn’t like she wanted people to know, but it was a little lonely having to struggle through it alone. Even if she’d been the one to end things, it was still difficult.

 

It was about six weeks after the breakup that Taeyang decided he’d had enough of Minyoung ignoring him, even as he heard through the grapevine that she seemed to be deteriorating. 

 

After repeated attempts to invite her to coffee or lunch, and even getting his wife to see if Minyoung would be more willing to talk to her, all to no avail, he decided that drastic measures had to be taken. 

 

So at seven in the evening on a Tuesday night, the timing chosen because he knew she would be in, but hardly anyone else would be, and she would definitely not be expecting an ambush in the middle of the week, he appeared at her desk. She was working, of course, her headphones on, but when she looked up and saw him, she didn’t jump a mile in the air like she used to, just sighing as she slipped her headphones off.

 

“What’s up?” she asked tiredly.

 

He just looked at her closely. “God, you look like shit.”

 

She didn’t even have the energy to glare at him. “Thanks, man. You talk to your wife like that?”

 

“No, my wife never looks like shit,” he shot back. “Are you okay?”

 

Clearly she wasn’t; she wasn’t eating much or working out anymore so she’d lost a lot of muscle tone and looked frail and skinny, she wasn’t sleeping well and wasn’t feeling up to wearing makeup to hide it so her pale complexion and dark undereye circles were visible for the world to see, and she’d been half slumped over the desk when he’d gotten there.

 

She just sighed. “Yeah, I’m fine. What are you doing here?”

 

“We’re going to the gym,” was his response.

 

She looked confused. “What? But we never made plans to…”

 

“Well, we’re making plans to now.”

 

“Youngbae-oppa, I can’t. I don’t have clothes,” Minyoung protested.

 

He just looked at her. “I know you keep a spare set of gear in your bottom drawer at all times.”

 

“I have to work -”

 

“It’s past seven, and you’re the only one who works this much. Nothing bad will happen if you clock out now.”

 

“But -”

 

He raised a brow at her, knowing she was out of excuses. Finally, she just deflated. “Fine,” she said slightly sulkily, opening the drawer to take the workout clothes that were, in fact, there. “I’ll meet you in the gym.”

 

Laughing at her, he refused. “If I take my eyes off you you’re just going to make a break for it. We’re going together.” Then he waited for her to finish what she was doing and shut down her computer before they left together.

 

Minyoung reluctantly emerged from the ladies’ dressing room, having gotten changed into her workout clothes, and joined Youngbae, who was sitting in the ring waiting for her.

 

“Are we sparring?” Minyoung asked with a tired little sigh.

 

He nodded, already wrapping his hands up.

 

“Oppa, I’m really tired, I don’t know if I want to -”

 

He cut her off by pushing her wraps at her insistently.

 

Her shoulders slumped in resignation, Minyoung obediently started wrapping her hands too.

 

Getting up once their gloves were on, they sparred a bit, but Youngbae could tell Minyoung’s heart wasn’t in it as her movements were sluggish and she wasn’t punching him as hard as he knew she could.

 

“Minyoung-ah, you’ll tell me if anything’s bothering you, right?” Youngbae asked, and Minyoung just blinked in surprise before her brows knitted together and she hit him just a little bit harder, refusing to talk otherwise.

 

“Minyoung-ah, this isn’t healthy, you know,” he continued, blocking her hits as he circled around her on the mat.

 

“Mind your -  _ ugh _ \- own business, oppa,” she ground out as she levelled a roundhouse on him, followed by a right hook.

 

Goading her on further, he most decidedly did not mind his own business when he started advancing on her, making his own attacks (both physically and verbally). “Come on Minyoung, you’re bold enough to break their hearts but not bold enough to talk about it?” Okay, maybe he was just  _ slightly _ annoyed about it.

 

He ducked a furious front kick from her before leaning forward again to deliver his own punches.

 

“I just wanna know, Minyoungie, why you did it,” he continued coaxing. 

 

The result of his probing was unexpected - Minyoung unleashed a furious volley of punches and kicks at him, but when he relaxed his defensive position enough to let her get closer, she collapsed on him in a fit of tears, crying in a way that she hadn’t since the day she left Jiyong’s apartment.

 

“Minyoung-ah, shh, it’s okay,” Youngbae said, bringing his arms up around her awkwardly since he was still wearing his gloves. He gingerly rubbed her back as she continued crying, trying not to cringe as he felt the shoulder of his tank top getting soaked through with her tears and snot.

 

While she was crying all the tears that she’d held back over the past six weeks, somehow not feeling like she had the right to cry when it had all been her fault after all, Eunran came into the gym looking for her husband.

 

They were supposed to meet for dinner at the entrance of the building, but he’d been late and she knew he was supposed to be at the gym with Minyoung, so she’d gone straight there to see what was taking them so long.

 

What she saw was a little concerning, and she hurried over to where they were. “What did you do to her?” she exclaimed, to which her husband helplessly shrugged.

 

“Minyoung-ah, are you okay?” she asked next, patting her friend’s back.

 

_ “Unnie!” _ Minyoung raised her head from Youngbae’s shoulder and exclaimed tearfully, bursting into a fresh set of tears while Eunran, uncaring of how sweaty and gross she was, gathered her into her arms.

 

“Shh, it’ll be okay, sweetie,” she consoled the younger woman, rocking her gently and patting her on the back. Youngbae signalled that he was going to shower and she nodded, stroking Minyoung’s braids as she said soothing nonsense.

 

When Minyoung was finally all cried out, she lifted herself off Eunran, apologies on her lips already.

 

“Don’t worry about it, Minyoungie,” Eunran said, squeezing her friend’s shoulder. “Go take a shower, and then we can get some food in you. You look like you haven’t eaten anything proper in days.”

 

Since that wasn’t far from the truth, Minyoung didn’t bother denying it when she hurried off to the locker rooms.

 

While she was gone, Eunran again asked her husband what he’d said to upset her so. When he told her sheepishly, she smacked his arm furiously. “Sweetheart, why would you say something like that?” she hissed.

 

He shrugged. “I just wanted her to talk about it.”

 

“Did she?”

 

“No, she just cried,” he sighed.

 

Rolling her eyes at him, she nonetheless snuggled up to him, enjoying the smell of his body wash on him.

 

When Minyoung emerged from the locker room, dressed in the spare clothes she’d left in her locker, she made her way over to them. “Um, thanks for today,” she said, bowing.

 

“It was nothing, Minyoungie, and Youngbae is sorry for what he said,” Eunran said to her kindly, giving Youngbae a nudge in the ribs so he would agree.

 

“Is there anything you feel like eating?” Eunran asked, taking in her friend’s pale complexion and the dejected slouch of her shoulders.

 

“Oh, I don’t have to join you guys if you were going on a date, I wouldn’t want to impose -” Minyoung started protesting, her hands up, but the couple just scoffed.

 

“It’s all right, Minyoung,” Youngbae said. “Come eat with us.”

 

“Uh, okay then,” Minyoung accepted hesitantly. “I don’t really have anything in mind, though, so whatever you’re craving is fine,” she said in response to Eunran’s question. “You’re the one who should get to choose,” she said with a small smile, referencing the other woman’s pregnancy.

 

So they went to eat barbecue at Eunran’s request, Minyoung diligently cooking most of the meat. While they were eating (and Minyoung and Taeyang were drinking) Eunran tried more tactfully to find out what had happened, and this time, aided by the soju, Minyoung started talking.

 

She explained candidly why she’d done what she’d done, her fears that she wouldn’t be able to give them what they wanted in life, that she would turn out to be a burden on their careers, and that ultimately she thought it was better for everyone involved to end it now rather than drag it on.

 

They stayed mostly quiet until she was done talking, not wanting to interrupt her or make her feel defensive. When she was done, Youngbae sighed and said, “Minyoung-ah, whatever happens, none of us will judge you or think any less of you for it because it’s your choice, but it might be worthwhile for you to talk to them about it.”

 

Minyoung shook her head. “They have to think I’m just not interested anymore, or else it’ll take them longer to get over it. I just want them to be happy, you know?”

 

“But you’re suffering so much now!” Eunran exclaimed with some exasperation.

 

Minyoung shrugged. “I’m not a stranger to suffering,” she said a little bitterly. “If it means that they can find their happiness, I don’t mind taking on a little more.”

 

“Minyoungie…” Eunran said sadly, the thought of her friend willingly twisting the knife in her own heart because she thought it would make things easier for the people she loved making her want to cry. Stupid pregnancy hormones.

 

“It’s okay, really,” Minyoung said, injecting some false cheer into her voice. “I mean, life goes on and all, right?” She made a lettuce wrap and stuffed it in her mouth so she wouldn’t have to say anything more for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, hope yall enjoyed, lmk what you think of the chapter!
> 
> and yes i shamelessly ripped off the Crooked MV bc he looks so hot in it i really cant im WEAK


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a shorter chapter today! i'm trying to push em out quicker because this part of the story is pretty angsty so i don't wanna keep you guys in suspense without updates, but that means the chapters will be shorter!
> 
> which do you guys prefer - longer chapters with fewer updates or more short chapters? let me know please

Seunghyun had been sitting in his home for basically ten weeks now. He resisted the attempts of most people to contact him, including his bandmates and managers, unable to conjure up the energy to work.

 

Why did he need to leave the house? He would need to shave, get dressed, pretend like he was a normally functioning human being… was it possible to continue living without your heart? He would have to look into that at some point, he thought, frowning into his wine glass.

 

There was no need to leave home, anyway. Everything he could possibly need was here. He could have food and cigarettes delivered, and if he wanted to get drunk, he had a massive wine collection to choose from.

 

He’d gone through massive amounts of wine and cigarettes in the past few months, if he was being honest. It helped to take the edge off the sadness and despair he felt, and he wished he hadn’t sworn off stronger drugs.

 

When Minyoung texted him, it was the highlight of his day. It was never much, and usually because he initiated contact, but it was a shining light in the darkness that had consumed him nonetheless. Little things like her nagging him to eat something, take a shower, call his manager because the man was being a pest to everyone at YG, telling him to take care of himself.

 

If he had more pride when it came to Minyoung, he would be embarrassed about the amount of time he spent rereading her messages, with the collar he’d bought her in his hand.

 

Then again, if he had any pride left he wouldn’t be jerking off while gripping the collar in his other hand either.

 

He  _ missed _ her so much, and everything reminded him of her, even though she’d never really spent much time in his apartment, since for the most part they’d been at Jiyong’s.

 

Still, his favourite t-shirt that he’d taken with him from Jiyong’s apartment after Minyoung left reminded him of her because it had been her favourite t-shirt too and she’d basically commandeered it, he couldn’t order goddamn delivery without seeing some of her favourite dishes on the menu and thinking about how cute she looked all immersed in her food, his fucking  _ lighter _ made him think about the evening he’d spent with her and her friends in New York before they’d officially become a thing, when it was all longing looks and butterflies in his belly.

 

So it was safe to say that Seunghyun wasn’t doing extremely well these days.

 

Today was especially bad, though. He hadn’t heard from Minyoung in a week, and he’d basically had every message she’d sent him since she’d come back into their lives memorized, ranging from domestic couple-y messages like what he wanted her to order for his dinner to silly text fights they’d had.

 

His favourite, though, was the ones she’d sent him when he’d been having a particularly hard time right after they’d broken up.

 

**Seunghyun: baby, please, i miss you so much.**

 

**Seunghyun: why did this have to end?**

 

**Seunghyun: is it because of me? i can change, i swear.**

 

He remembered staring at the messages, the latest in a long thread of similar texts from him without any response from her. When the three dots in a bubble appeared, indicating that she was typing something, his heart raced as he gripped the phone in both hands, unable to believe it.

 

**Minyoungie: it’s not your fault, oppa.**

 

**Minyoungie: i don’t want to be a burden to you and jiyong-oppa.**

 

**Minyoungie: you should move on and be happy with someone your fans can accept.**

 

**Minyoungie: your happiness would be enough for both of us**

 

It was the last message that really got him. The thought that she was suffering too… he’d almost gone straight to her apartment to demand that she explain what she meant by it, but he could be a coward at times, so he stayed.

 

Another exchange that made him smile had happened when he was rip-roaring drunk in the middle of the day. He hadn’t even remembered it until later, when he sobered up and read the texts.

 

**Seunghyun: babiieeeee**

 

**Seunghyun: i mosd y**

 

**Minyoungie: what?**

 

**Seunghyun: o misd i**

 

**Minyoungie: are you drunk?**

 

**Seunghyun: hehe**

 

**Minyoungie: oh god are you okay?? where are you?**

 

**Seunghyun: jo,w**

 

**Minyoungie: home?**

 

**Seunghyun: yed**

 

**Seunghyun: min ur so smort**

 

**Minyoungie: lol**

 

**Minyoungie: can you drink some water for me?**

 

**Minyoungie: and get some sleep oppa**

 

**Minyoungie: take care of yourself, okay?**

 

**Seunghyun: pk**

 

He’d woken up later that day with an overwhelming urge to pee because he’d apparently had over a liter of water  _ just because she’d asked him to, _ which was more than a little pathetic, but without much of a hangover because of it, so he couldn’t really complain that much.

 

Sometimes he wondered what Jiyong was up to, if he was handling it better than Seunghyun was.

 

Probably. The younger man had always been more stable and in control of his more destructive urges.

 

It was that thought that prevented him from reaching out to the other man. If he was doing well, then Seunghyun didn’t want to increase his burden further. Still, it got lonely sometimes. Daesung had come to visit him, but he didn’t really know what to say to the maknae.

 

How did one explain that all the light had gone out of his life? There weren’t words for it.

 

Recently, though, he’d found his thoughts drifting towards the bottle of medication in his bathroom cabinet. He hadn’t needed his sleeping pills for a long time - when he was curled around Minyoung sleep had come easily enough to him - but he hadn’t been sleeping that well lately.

 

He’d started off taking just one a night at first, and the relief of being able to sleep a full night had stayed with him when he woke up in the morning.

 

Plus, he dreamed of Minyoung and it was the sweetest dream he’d ever had. In the morning when he’d woken up and felt the tendrils of the dream dissipating, he’d frowned as he tried to grasp the dream that slid away from his conscious memory stubbornly.

 

The faint impressions his subconscious had gifted him with, though, had been beautiful - Minyoung laughing so hard she’d almost fallen into his lap, dressed in one of her cute tank tops and shorts, on a picnic mat by the Han River, Jiyong giggling along with her.

 

So he’d started taking them more regularly, to seek solace from his heartbreak in the wonderful, happy dreams his mind gifted him with. It made him happy, after all, and Minyoung had said she wanted him to be happy.

 

It was necessary, too, as the correspondence from Minyoung dried up. She texted him less frequently now, and he could tell she was trying to pull away. He didn’t really understand why - she said it was for his own good, but she’d said that about the breakup too, and clearly it hadn’t been.

 

He just missed her so much, and couldn’t imagine going back to normal life, his tiring job, the screaming fans, without her to come home to at the end of the night.

 

He was sitting at his dining table today, one hand grasping the collar, which was normal for him by now, while the bottle of sleeping pills was held in the other hand. It was a new, full bottle - he’d called his doctor yesterday to say that he was all out and needed more.

 

It had been hours, he thought faintly, since he’d sat down here, and he wasn’t sure why he was so drawn to the pills now. It had happened once before - a traumatic experience that he’d mostly blocked out by now - but this was different, wasn’t it? It wasn’t that he was running from his problems this time.

 

He just wanted to see Minyoung again.

 

He flipped the bottle of pills over and over again, relishing the rhythmic thump of the bottom, then the lid of the bottle hitting the table, and the rattle of the pills inside, over and over again. He might not be in the mood to create or perform music, but he was still a musician.

 

He watched his phone, laid on the table next to him. He’d let the battery go flat a couple of times, enjoying the peace and isolation - his bandmates and managers really needed to learn to take a hint and lay off - but he realised that if his phone was dead he wouldn’t receive any of Minyoung’s texts, and that was enough for him to plug it back in.

 

She still wasn’t texting him, though. He jumped every time his phone vibrated with a new text, hoping it would be her, but she was still determined to be stubborn and stop talking to him.

 

He sighed. Maybe he should respect her wishes and leave her alone, as difficult as it would be.

 

The hand that had been fiddling with the pills stopped. Maybe it wouldn’t need to be.

 

Abandoning the pills, he picked up his phone, still ignoring the messages and missed calls as he went straight to the text log with Minyoung.

 

His thumb hovered over the keyboard as he thought about what he wanted to say. There was so much he needed to tell her: how much he loved her, how happy he’d been in the time that they’d been together, how nothing was her fault, he understood her fears and he respected them, knew that she was afraid of the public because sometimes he was too.

 

He wanted to apologize, to wish her well, beg for her understanding. He had a feeling she would get it; sometimes he sensed the same darkness in her that he did in himself, and although it scared him when he thought about it too deeply, the idea that there was someone else in the world who understood him was also deeply comforting to him.

 

Knowing that there were people out there also suffering from depression and anxiety was different from having someone with him who truly understood what it was like. Living in Korea where such things ‘didn’t exist’, it had always been difficult for him, because he’d felt so isolated, so alone in his struggles, as if he was the only freak when everyone else was doing completely fine because their minds didn’t torture them the way his did.

 

Just by walking beside him, Minyoung had helped immeasurably, her unconditional acceptance of the ugliest parts of him a balm to his soul. It really was something else, the way she could hold his hand and talk him down from a panic attack and then two hours later let him choke her and force her to her knees.

 

He sighed. He missed choking her.

 

Eventually, he just decided to go with something simple.

 

**Seunghyun: I love you. Remember to find happiness, your smile lights up the world.**

 

Swallowing hard, he pressed send and listened to the whoosh as his message flew through satellites, travelling to outer space and back before pinging on Minyoung’s phone.

 

Satisfied now, he put down the phone and took the pills to his room. The last time he’d done this, it had been out of fear and a desire to escape the judgement and condemnation of the outside world, and his hands had trembled with fear while he popped open the lid on the pills.

 

This time, he was confident and resolute. The pills had helped him see Minyoung again. If he slept forever… maybe he would get to spend eternity with her in his dreams. In the absence of having her in real life, this would do, right?

 

Right.

 

Pushing the lid open with his thumb, he tipped the bottle over, pouring the pills down his throat, swallowing them dry. The slight discomfort didn’t matter.

 

Soon, nothing else would matter, he thought, stretching out on top of his comforter, a gentle smile on his face as he drifted off, already seeing Minyoung in his mind’s eye.

 

* * *

 

 

Minyoung was at work, battling a rather ferocious afternoon slump when her phone, sitting next to her keyboard, pinged. She tended to ignore her phone while she was working, but today a restless itch at the back of her neck prompted her to pick it up and read the message.

 

The blood drained from her face.

 

She’d been ignoring Seunghyun’s increasingly dramatic messages for about a week, thinking that he would eventually give up and move on. It was supposed to be good for him, right? If he kept clinging to his past with her he would never be able to move on and find his happy future, and that had been the whole point of this endeavor in the first place.

 

If Seunghyun had been literally anyone else, she would have interpreted the message as him finally taking her advice and deciding to put the past behind him.

 

But it was him.

 

And that meant something was seriously wrong.

 

Minyoung bolted. There really wasn’t any other word to describe it - she grabbed her phone and sprinted from the office, booking an Uber with a shaky hand as she repeatedly jabbed the button to shut the elevator doors with the other. She thought she might have heard some people in the office asking where she was going, but she didn’t bother replying, just focusing on getting to Seunghyun’s apartment as quickly as she could.

 

Fidgeting impatiently in front of the building as she watched the little car on the map in the Uber app make its way to her at a leisurely place, she growled as she looked from her phone to the road in front of her, looking for the car.

 

When it finally came, she opened it and got in hastily, her whole body trembling as she begged the driver to hurry up. “Please, I’ll give you like the biggest tip ever, just fucking step on it,” she pleaded, leaning forward and grasping his headrest with both hands so tightly her knuckles were turning white.

 

The driver, a shaggy-haired man in his 20s, just looked a little startled at the urgency with which she’d spoken, said, “Okay, sure, whatever, dude,” and obligingly sped up.

 

Minyoung leaned back in her seat as she bit her lip, frantically texting Seunghyun and hoping he would reply.

 

**Minyoungie: oppa wat r u up to?**

 

**Minyoungie: answer me!**

 

**Minyoungie: are you safe?**

 

**Minyoungie: im on my way, pls reply!!!!**

 

When she didn’t receive any response from him, she started texting his bandmates, starting with Daesung.

 

**Minyoung: daesung-oppa have you heard from seunghyun-oppa recently? I can’t reach him**

 

**Minyoung: im worried about him he sent me a rlly weird text**

 

**Minyoung: im otw to his apt**

 

She almost chewed through her lip as she texted the rest of his bandmates in turn, then his manager, getting variations of the same response - that no one had heard from him in a while, and to update them on how he was doing.

 

“God damn it,” she muttered, barely resisting the urge to lean over again and snarl some ugly threats in the driver’s ear so that he would go faster - the poor boy hadn’t done anything to deserve it and she would probably give him a heart attack.

 

When they finally got to Seunghyun’s building, Minyoung raced out of the car, thanking God that Uber existed and would pay directly for her, because she hadn’t taken her wallet with her. Stabbing impatiently at the elevator button until she was sure she was going to poke a hole in the wall, she cursed as she watched the numbers on top flash, indicating the leisurely descent of the lift.

 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” she said as she hurried into the elevator, pressing the button for Seunghyun’s floor. When the doors finally dinged open on his floor, she flew out, almost bumping into his door.

 

Trembling, she hoped that he hadn’t removed her fingerprint from his lock so she could get in, thanking God when the little jingle and the sound of the door unlocking proved that her ex-boyfriend was as much of a sap as she’d expected.

 

“Oppa? Are you in here?” she called, shedding her shoes and padding barefoot into the apartment. “Oppa?”

 

No response, though his phone was on the dining table, so he couldn’t be out.

 

Was he napping? She went into his bedroom to check and went soft for a moment, seeing him spread out across the bed, his feet hanging off it. He really was too tall for his own good, she thought fondly.

 

Taking a few steps closer, she called him again. “Oppa?” Then she noticed the pallor of his skin, the way he was breathing just a little too slowly. Her heart rate rocketed up again as her eyes swung over to the bedside table, seeing the bottle of pills there.

 

“Oh, God,” she whispered, picking up the bottle to find that it was empty.

 

“Oh my God, oppa, what did you do?”


	22. Chapter 22

“Oh my God, oppa, what did you do?”

 

The bottle fell out of her hand as she approached him, turning him over and shaking him. “Please, please wake up!” she cried, but he barely reacted to her.

 

“Shit, fuck,” she swore as she picked up her phone, dialing the emergency hotline with trembling hands. She continued shaking him with one hand as she held the phone with the other.

 

The person who picked up the phone sounded way too calm for the situation when he asked what the emergency was.

 

“He - I don’t -” she gulped. “He downed an entire bottle of sleeping pills, I can’t wake him up, please help,” she begged, tears running down her cheeks.

 

“Please calm down, ma’am,” the voice on the other side of the line intoned. “I’ll dispatch an ambulance, can you give me the address?”

 

Her voice trembled as she relayed the information to him.

 

“Got it, help will be there as soon as possible. In the meantime, please try to expel the drug from his system to prevent any more from being absorbed.”

 

“Oh, God, okay,” she whimpered. “Thank you.”

 

Then she grabbed him again, shaking him. “Oppa, please, wake up!” she cried.

 

No response.

 

She got up onto the bed next to him, maneuvering him till he was on his side. “God, I hope this is right,” she whispered as she hesitantly stuck her fingers into his mouth.

 

“Come on, Min, you can do this,” she said, cringing as she pushed her fingers into the back of his throat, causing him to gag.

 

“Oppa, come on,” she coaxed as he gagged again, and she pushed more insistently.

 

When he finally threw up, all over her hand, she barely even registered the disgust as she tilted him slightly further so that he threw up on the floor so he wouldn’t have to lie in his own vomit. “There you go,” she cooed at him, leaning over to check if the pills were out of his system.

 

To her relief, she could see the pills, dozens of them in the mess.

 

Mindful of how filthy her right hand was, she laid him back on the bed carefully and used her left hand to stroke his slightly sweaty forehead as she leaned over him, crying. “Oppa, why would you do something like that?” she asked, sobbing as she pressed her forehead to his.

 

True to the emergency dispatch’s word, help arrived in a few minutes and the apartment was swarming with EMTs who rushed to them, two of them bundling him up on a stretcher and taking him to the waiting ambulance while another asked Minyoung for more details.

 

When she pointed at the empty bottle of sleeping pills, he took it with him so they could check the label and see just what he had overdosed on.

 

In the ambulance, someone wiped off Minyoung’s hand, but she barely noticed, her left hand holding onto Seunghyun’s as he lay prone on the stretcher, a mask placed over his nose and mouth.

 

Minyoung barely registered anything during the trip to the hospital, but once there, the waiting staff quickly whisked him off and she was left to wait helplessly.

 

God, she hated hospitals, she thought as she stared morosely at the tiles, waiting outside the room Seunghyun had ended up in. She’d spent way too much time at hospitals, both as a relative and as a patient, and being here brought back so many difficult memories for her.

 

It didn’t matter, though, she told herself sternly. She was here for Seunghyun, and it wasn’t about her. It had stopped being about her the moment she decided to end this. Her emotions seemed to shut off as she leaned lifelessly against the wall, like a toy that a child had propped up. The numbness spreading through her chest was preferable, she thought, to the agony that flared when she thought too hard about what might happen.

 

She didn’t know how much time had passed before his manager arrived at the hospital, then the boys, one by one rushing madly in. Daesung was in full makeup, she noted dully as she looked up at him, looking like he’d dashed off from a photo shoot.

 

Taeyang came in with his wife, both of them looking frantic, both dressed casually like they’d just been lounging at home when they’d heard the news.

 

It wasn’t until Jiyong arrived, though, that the waterworks started again. The moment she saw him, dressed stylishly but comfortably as he hurried down the hall with a frantic expression, having been pulled from the studio, she couldn’t hold back the tears as she sobbed helplessly, like a child, her hands covering her face.

 

“Hey, shh, shh,” Jiyong said, his instinct to comfort her overruling everything else as he knelt in front of her, his hands around her wrists pulling her hands away.

 

He gathered her up in his arms and let her sob into his shoulder, stroking her back as she shuddered with the force of the sobs wracking her frame. He was upset too, but seeing her so distraught, it was all he could do to be strong for her.

 

“She was the one who found him, hyung,” Daesung said from next to Minyoung, and the older man nodded in understanding.

 

Picking her up, he sat down in the empty space on the bench and put her back down on his lap, and Minyoung immediately clung to him, burying her face in his neck as he continued to rock her back and forth, whispering soothing nonsense to her.

 

Eventually the sobs tapered off, but Minyoung didn’t move, Jiyong’s embrace bringing her comfort that nothing else could. She’d almost forgotten just how warm and safe he could make her feel.

 

Her clinging to him was helping him too, making him feel useful in this situation where he had no control over what happened. As much as Minyoung blamed herself, he blamed himself too for letting things get to this stage. He should have checked up on Seunghyun more, knew the man wrestled with his demons, it was his  _ duty _ as a leader and a friend to make sure he was okay in such a difficult time.

 

How could he have failed so spectacularly? Been so caught up in his grief that he’d forgotten about his friend like that? His breath shuddered in and out of his lungs as he clutched Minyoung, the only thing keeping his gravity centered. Now was not the time to break down, he told himself. He had to be strong for her.

 

So they clung to each other, giving each other as much comfort as was possible in this situation, waiting for the doctors to deliver the news one way or another, stuck in limbo, hovering in a vacuum.

 

His parents were here too, and Minyoung couldn’t bring herself to even look at them, the shame and guilt of driving their son to this stage too much for her to handle. They must hate her, she thought, and they wouldn’t be wrong to. She hated herself too. It should be her in the hospital bed instead of Seunghyun, who’d never done anything wrong, whose only mistake had been loving someone who was so irreparably broken.

 

When the doctor finally came out of the room, they had a hushed conversation with his family, then he came over to the bench where the band members (and Minyoung) were squished together, drawing comfort from each other through their physical proximity, even as they stayed in relative silence. Once in a while, Daesung or Taeyang would reach over to pat Minyoung on the shoulder or stroke her hair.

 

“He’s going to be out for a while, but we expect him to make a full recovery,” the doctor explained in a calm, professional voice. “We had to pump his stomach and administer charcoal orally, but the damage was mitigated by the fact that the pills were expelled from his system fairly quickly,” he continued, and Daesung patted Minyoung on the back, congratulating her for her actions that might have saved Seunghyun’s life.

 

“However, because this is not the first time that this has happened, we will have to keep him here under observation. Do any of you know what might have triggered this attempt?”

 

Here Minyoung stirred, lifting her face from Jiyong’s neck for the first time in hours and looking straight at the doctor with glassy, emotionless eyes, red from all the tears she’d shed. Her face was puffy and blotchy, but it hardly mattered.

 

“Yes,” she said lifelessly. “Bad breakup.”

 

The succinct explanation was all that she could muster before she slumped back into Jiyong’s arms.

 

“Uh, right,” the doctor said, clearly not wanting to pry too deeply into the clearly traumatic event. That would be something for the psychiatrist to deal with. “Well, he’s allowed two visitors at a time, so you can take your turns after the family,” he said before taking his leave.

 

When Seunghyun’s parents finally left the room, they came over to the boys, but Jiyong, trying to delay the inevitable confrontation, quickly set Minyoung on her feet and whisked her off into Seunghyun’s room.

 

Minyoung immediately sat down on the chair next to the bed, lacing her fingers with his as her other hand clutched Jiyong’s shirt for comfort. She was going to warp it at this rate, he thought, almost laughing at how ridiculous and out-of-place the observation was as his mind pinged relentlessly, darting from one unrelated idea to another, unable to settle down and focus on anything.

 

“Oppa, I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her eyes trained on Seunghyun. “I’m sorry I was an idiot, I’m sorry for ignoring you, I’m sorry for even getting close to you when I knew I wouldn’t be good for you.”

 

A choked sob as she buried her face into the blanket next to his hand. “I promise I’ll do everything you want from now on, just please, please wake up,” she begged.

 

When there was no response, she cried harder, and Jiyong put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it in comfort.

 

They must have stayed there for ages, until a nurse came in to tell them that visiting hours were over and they had to leave. Minyoung had no reaction, though, and Jiyong had to charm the lady into letting her stay, promising that she wouldn’t disturb him, that she would just sit quietly. It took the promise of an autograph and a picture for her to relent.

 

So he left her there while he went to tell the others to go home, that he would stick around to keep an eye on Minyoung. Seunghyun’s parents were not pleased, since all they knew about her was that she worked at the company and based on the doctor’s update about Seunghyun, had deduced that she was the one responsible for setting off his depressive spiral, but no one could really argue with G-Dragon.

 

Not when he looked so tired and upset, like he was barely keeping himself upright, yet glaring so fiercely when they tried to object that the implacable determination in his eyes seemed incongruous with the exhausted lines in his face.

 

So they sat, all night, next to Seunghyun’s bed where he lay, hooked up to a myriad of machines, just keeping a silent vigil. Minyoung fell asleep at some point, her cheek smushed against the mattress, and Jiyong smiled down at her tenderly, enjoying the way her features relaxed under the dim lighting of the machines that continued to beep.

 

The next morning, the two of them were woken up by the nurse who came in to check on Seunghyun, and Jiyong realised blearily as he sat up that he’d fallen asleep too. The blanket had left imprints on his forehead and when he shook Minyoung awake, he saw that she had matching creases on her cheek.

 

“Hey,” she croaked, and he nodded back at her, unable to speak yet. The nurse shooed them away and Jiyong decided that they should wash up and have breakfast, at least, so he pushed her into the en suite bathroom to do her thing.

 

When she emerged, he took his turn in the bathroom and then took her hand, leading her down to the cafeteria.

 

“Wait,” she said, tugging at his hand to get him to stop when they passed the counter. He paused, confused, as she went behind the counter to the shelves of supplies, then had to fight the inappropriate smile that threatened to overtake his face because she went straight for a surgical mask, which she brought to him, brushing his hair out of the way as she hooked it around the back of his ears gently.

 

His heart surged; even during such an awful time she was so thoughtful, looking out for him, and he couldn’t help but pull down the mask to his chin, pulling her in by the nape of her neck to press a kiss to her forehead.

 

“Oppa, you shouldn’t,” she protested softly, but didn’t move away from him, soaking up the comfort as he held her close, then released her to grab her hand again as he led her to the cafeteria. She really was like a cat, he thought, so dependent on physical contact for comfort.

 

Because she was still barely functional, following after him mindlessly like a little tugboat in his wake, he ordered breakfast for her, a muffin and a flat white with no sugar, just the way she liked it.

 

When they brought their breakfast back to Seunghyun’s room, his parents were already there, his mother sitting in the chair Minyoung had slept in while his father paced behind her. Jiyong stopped short when he saw them, Minyoung bumping into him before she realized he was standing still in the doorway.

 

“Okay, let’s go,” he said, turning and shepherding her away from the door. She was in a fragile state right now, and didn’t need what he was sure would be an unpleasant confrontation with Seunghyun’s parents. They were very sweet people, but understandably emotional right now, and probably looking for someone to blame.

 

He wouldn’t let Minyoung be that person, when she was already blaming herself.

 

“Wait!” Seunghyun’s mother cried, standing up so quickly he could hear the sound of the chair scraping against the ground as it was pushed away from her.

 

He cringed. 

 

“Lee Minyoung-ssi, is it?” she asked, craning her neck to look around Jiyong to the woman he was trying to shield.

 

He was doing a piss poor job of it, because Minyoung was almost the same height as he was, and not for the first time, he cursed his petite frame.

 

When she heard her name, Minyoung cocked her head so she could peer over Jiyong’s shoulder, looking unbearably cute even as his heart skipped a beat in panic.

 

“Yes, that’s me,” she said softly. It seemed that she hadn’t said anything at the volume he was used to since yesterday, like all the energy had just left her body. It was a little like looking at a shrunken balloon sagging to the ground because all the helium had left it.

 

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” the older woman asked, and Minyoung visibly sagged. It was a good thing Jiyong was still standing right in front of her, and caught her just in time, putting her back on her feet.

 

“No,” Minyoung murmured. “You’re right to blame me.” The stark pain and resignation were plain to see in the lines around her mouth, her sickly pallor, and her glassy, dead-looking eyes.

 

Mrs Choi had wanted to scream at the younger woman, curse her for making her son miserable. But in the face of Minyoung’s clear regret and love for her son, which was written into the defeated slouch of her shoulders, she couldn’t bring herself to.

 

“Why?” she asked instead, her breath catching in her throat. “Why did you have to drive him to this?”

 

Minyoung had to swallow the lump in her throat before she could answer the other woman. “I was trying my best to protect him,” she whispered, and despite her best efforts, tears started pooling in her eyes again. “I thought -” a sob tore out of her before she could quash it, and her breath shuddered out of her lungs as she gathered herself enough to finish her sentence. “I thought he would have a better chance of having all the things he’s always dreamed of if he wasn’t with me,” she whispered shakily.

 

“I’m so sorry!” she then cried, dashing back down the hall.

 

Jiyong just stood there, stupefied as he processed what she’d said. It took him a moment to start chasing her, calling her name as he tried to get her to stop. She ignored him, though, and ducked into a stairwell, unable to keep going. She sat down on the landing step, the paper bag containing her muffin and her coffee cup next to her, and cried like the world was ending.

 

“Minyoungie?” Jiyong said quietly as he opened the door to the stairwell, walking to her slowly like one would approach a wild animal, slightly worried that he would scare her and she would take off again.

 

“What do you want?” she hiccuped between sobs.

 

Jiyong sat down next to her, putting his food down and then moving hers too so that he could sit right next to her. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to him, pushing her head down onto his shoulder. “Just to make sure you’re okay,” he explained, “and maybe some clarification on what you told Seunghyun-hyung’s mom?”

 

Minyoung sighed, a small, annoyed sound that had his lips twitching. “What about it?” she huffed.

 

Lifting her head up, he turned slightly so he could look directly at her, grasping her chin so she couldn’t turn away from his gaze. “What did you mean when you said you thought he’d have a better chance at having what he dreamed of if he wasn’t with you?”

 

Minyoung shrugged helplessly. “Exactly that,” she said. “If you’re with me, you can’t get married, can’t go out in public with your significant other, can’t have that cute happy family unit I know both of you want with the perfect life.”

 

Jiyong smoothed his thumb over her cheek. “Silly girl,” he said affectionately. “Why do you think all that matters?”

 

Minyoung jerked away from him, irritated now that he was making her spell it out for him, say all the things she didn’t really want to acknowledge out loud. When he agreed with her when it was all out in the open, she wouldn’t be able to cling on to the faint hope that maybe they’d choose her over their dreams after all.

 

Biting the bullet, she ground out, “Because the both of you have always been clear about your life goals. You want to get married, have a baby, and all that.”

 

Jiyong shrugged. “I still don’t see why that wouldn’t be able to happen with you.”

 

_ “Because three people can’t get married to each other!” _

 

“Well, maybe not, but it doesn’t matter that much, does it? We would still be committed to each other, with or without a marriage certificate. It’s just a piece of paper, after all, and doesn’t seem to mean much given how flippantly people take marriage and divorce these days.”

 

She blinked at him. “Koreans love the institution of marriage.”

 

“Not as much as we love you, sweetheart. And don’t talk about Koreans like you’re not one.”

 

“I’m American,” she disagreed immediately, the way he knew she would. 

 

He pulled her closer to him by wrapping his fingers around the nape of her neck so he could kiss her temple. “You can be both, you know,” he told her, like he had a thousand times before.

 

Minyoung smiled and sniffled at the same time.

 

“Okay, on to your next concern,” Jiyong dictated. “Something about not being able to have children?”

 

She nodded sadly.

 

“Sweetie, I can tell you for a fact that both hyung and I would  _ love _ to put a baby in you,” Jiyong said, wiggling his eyebrows lavisciously. “That is absolutely not a problem at all,” he stressed.

 

Minyoung slapped his thigh. “That’s not what I meant!” she exclaimed. “We can’t just have a three-person family unit!”

 

Jiyong shrugged. “I don’t see why not. More parents equals more love, right?”

 

“And what about parent-teacher meetings and all that?”

 

“Minyoungie… we’ll figure it out, all right?”

 

“Whose name would the child take?”

 

“It literally doesn’t matter at all. They could all be Lees if you like,” he said with a shrug.

 

Minyoung squinted at him suspiciously. “Really? You don’t want your children to be Kwons?”

 

“Love, I want my children to be  _ yours. _ I don’t care if they’re Kwons or Lees or Chois, or Kims, or whatever,” he said, staring into her eyes to try and show her just how serious he was about what he was saying.

 

Minyoung seemed to curl in on herself then. There was something on the tip of her tongue, he could tell, but she didn’t look like she was going to say it, and he thought she might have had enough emotional upheaval for today after the day she’d had yesterday.

 

“Hey,” he said, bumping his shoulder against hers. “I know this is a lot for you to think about, and there’s no rush, really. This isn’t the best time anyway. But you shouldn’t blame yourself for what happened either.”

 

Minyoung sighed morosely. “That’s not what his mom thinks.”

 

He shrugged. “What does she know about us?”

 

“Enough to make the right assumption, apparently,” she grouched.

 

“Seunghyun-hyung… he’s struggled a lot,” Jiyong said, trying to tread carefully. “You can’t live your life taking responsibility for his mental state. It’s too much.”

 

Minyoung knew he was right, but it didn’t make it any easier when he was lying in a hospital bed unconscious after eating a whole bottle of sleeping pills because she’d broken up with him.

 

“And you can’t be there for him properly if you don’t take care of your own health too,” Jiyong said, turning to retrieve Minyoung’s muffin and coffee and pressing them both into her hands.

 

“Okay,” she acquiesced, this time actually unwrapping her muffin and taking a bite. He sat with her at the stairwell, the two of them munching on their food and drinking their coffee together, until they were done and he stood up, the trash in one hand as he held his other out to her, helping her up.

 

In slightly better spirits now, Minyoung trailed after him back to the room, stopping short when they discovered that Seunghyun’s parents were, in fact, still there.

 

They immediately turned to leave, but Mrs Choi stopped them.

 

“No, wait, please,” she said, standing up more calmly this time. “Come in,” she invited, and they stepped into the room cautiously, letting the door slide shut behind them.

 

Looking at Minyoung, her eyes wide as she regarded Seunghyun’s parents nervously, Mrs Choi sighed. “I’m sorry about what I said earlier,” she said haltingly. “I know - I know my son has struggled in the past, and it’s unfair to blame you for it.”

 

“Oh, it’s no problem, really,” Minyoung said immediately, waving away the apology. “I know how nerve-wracking it must be for you.”

 

The ease with which Minyoung excused abuse to herself, even as she stood up fiercely for everyone around her, was slightly concerning to Jiyong, but he didn’t say anything for the moment.

 

“Did the doctor say anything about his condition?” Minyoung asked, drifting closer to the bed now.

 

“His vitals look good, and they anticipate that he should wake up in the next day or two,” Mr Choi reported, the first time they’d heard the taciturn man speak.

 

Minyoung nodded, standing on the other side of Seunghyun’s bed and brushing his hair off his forehead tenderly.

 

Mrs Choi watched, noting the clear affection towards her son in Minyoung’s body language, and she understood that whatever Minyoung might have done to set her son off, it truly had been with good intentions.

 

Soon after, Seunghyun’s parents left, and Jiyong had to leave too, because his manager hadn’t managed to cancel all of his activities and he still had to work. Minyoung stayed, though, and Jiyong called her boss to let him know in no uncertain terms that anyone who bothered her during this time would find their head on a pike soon enough, of course hiding his conversation from Minyoung who would  _ definitely _ have words with him if she knew that he was using his position to secure special treatment for her.

 

She deserved special treatment; she’d had a hell of a time.

 

Then he left, and Minyoung took her position again on the chair next to Seunghyun, holding his hand and waiting for him to wake up.

 

Daesung dropped by in the afternoon between his appointments to visit and check up on Minyoung, since Jiyong had told the other members that she was basically living at the hospital at this point. He brought her some food and tried to cheer her up, although that didn’t work too well since she just stared sullenly at the heart rate monitor, beeping slow but steady.

 

Before he left, he remarked on how Seunghyun would really appreciate it if he knew she was here, adding nostalgically that he’d always loved being around her, and especially listening to her sing, before ruffling her hair and leaving for his next appointment.

 

Jiyong would later attempt to push Daesung down the stairs because Minyoung had taken his offhand remark too seriously and somehow got it in her head that if she sang to Seunghyun, he would wake up faster and she spent the next twenty-four hours singing to him nonstop until she lost her voice, and then she kept croaking out songs until her throat bled and she needed medical care of her own, so it was a good thing they were already at the hospital.

 

She sang song after song, Broadway ballads, sad oldies, kpop songs, Adele, Alicia Keys and all the indie songs from unknown bands that nonetheless had heart-rending lyrics, begging for him to come back, castigating herself as tears spilled down her cheeks and grief stole her breath as the next two days slid away and despite the doctors’ prediction that Seunghyun should be awake by now, he didn’t so much as move.

 

She only stepped away from him for long enough to use the bathroom and take care of her basic needs when Jiyong bullied her to do so, showering and changing into the clothes that Jiyong had taken to bringing for her every day because someone had to be the adult here, and it sure as hell wasn’t going to be her in this state.

 

He watched helplessly as she deteriorated, sliding deeper into despair with each hour that Seunghyun didn’t stir. She kept trying to sing even though her throat was probably hopelessly mangled by this point, based on the wheezing sounds that were all she could produce and the way she would wince in pain, even though she ignored it and tried to power through.

 

It wasn’t until five days later, seven days since she’d found him in his apartment, that Seunghyun woke up. Of course, it happened in the middle of the night, so it wasn’t until the hand Minyoung was holding started moving that she woke up and realized what was happening.

 

When Seunghyun opened his eyes, the first thing he registered was darkness, and he was slightly disappointed. Had he succeeded in killing himself, only to end up in an afterworld that didn’t include endless dreams of Minyoung? That hardly seemed like a good deal.

 

Then as his eyes focused more, he started noticing more things, the dim light spilling into the room from street lights outside through the large glass windows, the rhythmic beeping of the heart rate monitor, and the glow of various screens facing him.

 

Damn, so he was still alive after all.

 

Still, he wasn’t cognizant enough to have many feelings about that until he turned his head slightly and saw Minyoung, sitting next to him with her head on the mattress next to him, her fingers intertwined with his.

 

Then panic flooded his veins. He’d never wanted this - for Minyoung to see him at his absolute worst, when he was the most pathetic and disgusting. His heart rate spiked as she jumped awake when he wriggled his fingers to try and detach his hand from hers, her eyes flying to his.

 

“Oh, God, you’re awake,” she breathed. He tried to take a deep breath, to tell her he was sorry for everything, but it was only then that he realized there was a tube in his throat and he started choking around it, his hands automatically going to try and pull it out.

 

“Shit, shh, shh,” she croaked, her hands covering his as she pulled them off his face. “It’s okay, calm down, sweetie. Whatever you have to say, we can talk about it in a moment, okay? I’ll just go get the nurse and -”

 

His fingers tightened on hers, as much as they could anyway when his muscles had atrophied from just lying there and his grip was weaker than usual.

 

Minyoung got the message, though, and continued shushing him. “It’s okay, I’ll stay, Jiyong-oppa will get the nurse,” she said, shaking him awake.

 

Jiyong groaned irritably, as difficult as ever to wake up. Losing her patience, Minyoung yanked him into an upright position.

 

He started to snap something vulgar, then stopped as he realised where he was and who was manhandling him. Then his eyes went to Seunghyun, and they widened as he recognized that the other man was looking back at him.

 

“Shit, I’ll go get the nurse,” he said, running out of the room yelling.

 

Five minutes later, the nurse had removed the breathing apparatus while scolding Jiyong about disturbing the other patients, something he really didn’t seem all that sorry about, and Minyoung was holding a little paper cup of water to his lips so he could take small sips.

 

When he finally felt like he could talk, he pushed the cup away weakly and said in a small, croaky voice, “Minyoung-ah… I’m sorry.”

 

Minyoung sat back down heavily, her hand going back to find his in the position she’d kept for almost an entire week now. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about, oppa,” she whispered because her throat wouldn’t let her do anything else, stroking the back of his hand with her thumb.

 

He shook his head. “I didn’t… want you to see,” he confessed. “Don’t want you to think I’m pathetic.”

 

Tears welled up in Minyoung’s eyes. “I could never think you’re pathetic.”

 

“No… weak.”

 

“Oppa, no, you’re not,” she insisted. “If you’re weak, then I am too.”

 

He frowned. “You don’t understand.”

 

She gave him a sad little smile at that. “I understand more than you think I do, oppa.” Then she raised her left hand, the one that was holding his. He frowned and held on a little tighter, thinking that she was trying to let him go. He didn’t want that.

 

She tightened her fingers around him so that his hand wouldn’t slip from hers, but continued lifting her hand, until her left wrist was directly in front of him, her tattoo in his face. “There’s more to this tattoo than I told you before, oppa.”

 

At his questioning glance, she rested her hand back on the bed, her right hand groping for Jiyong’s, drawing strength and comfort as she took a deep breath.

 

“I told you before that this tattoo is of my father’s birthday, right?” she said, and he nodded slowly. “But I didn’t tell you when I got it, or why.”

 

He thought about that for a moment, realizing only now that this was true - most people included those details in the stories about their body art. He knew Jiyong had a story for every tattoo he’d ever gotten, even the ones that had been just for fun.

 

Minyoung sighed, gathering courage to speak as both men squeezed her hands slightly in support.

 

“I got this tattoo when I was about twenty-five, and it’s placed there to cover the scar from my suicide attempt.”

 

At that, both boys’ eyes snapped to her, giving her their utmost attention. “Minyoungie…” Jiyong whispered, his heart full of pain. What had she gone through alone?

 

“I guess you might as well know all of it, my sordid history,” Minyoung said, sighing. “Maybe everything will make more sense to you when it’s all done.”

 

Then she settled in, because this was going to be a long story.

 

“I told you once that when I was in my early twenties, I had a difficult time, right? That may have been a slight understatement. After I graduated from college, I found a marketing job and that was fine and all, it was where I met Elliot, but because I’d been so busy until then with trying to keep a roof over my family’s head and rushing through college, I’d never had a chance to process all of the negative emotions like grief over my father’s passing, resentment over all I’d lost and all that.

 

“All of that started coming out again when I was working normal hours, because suddenly I had all this time on my hands, and all I could think about was all the things I’d lost. My father, my dream to be an idol, my fun college experiences because I’d had to cram four years of college into two and a half. For a while, I really hated my mom, too. She fell into a major depressive state after my father died, and I had to pick up all the slack, you know? At sixteen, I suddenly had to be the one responsible for my family, and I felt that she’d deprived me of my chance to be a normal teenager.

 

“So I started trying to do things to forget how much I hated myself and my life, because I couldn’t stand those thoughts, you know? Drinking, clubbing, drugs, sleeping around… you name it.” She grimaced. “Yeah, it was pretty bad for a while there.”

 

Then she swallowed. This was the worst part, the bit that she was most ashamed of. “When I got fired from my job for constantly being late, missing work because I was hungover, slipping on projects, not pulling my weight and overall being a shitty employee, that was when I started to spiral. It ended with me getting into a tub and slitting my wrists.

 

“Thankfully Alex found me, just in time,” she whispered, tears falling from her eyes. She wasn’t the only one crying - Seunghyun’s eyes were looking a little wet, and Jiyong wasn’t even trying to stifle his sobs at her story. “He took me to the hospital, and he and Elliot devoted the next six months to helping me get back on my feet. They stayed with me throughout it all, letting me move in with them, cuddling me to sleep every night, taking me to and from all the therapy appointments… you name it.

 

“I don’t even think they had sex once during those six months; because I was always sleeping between them,” she cracked, trying to inject some levity into the moment. It didn’t work; neither of them even reacted.

 

“Thankfully, I got better, and a lot of it is because of their support,” she said. “That’s why I always say that Alex saved my life. I’m not exaggerating at all when I say that, I literally mean it. WIthout him I wouldn’t be here today.

 

“Anyway, that’s the reason why I have so much debt,” she concluded. “I’m not done paying off my father’s hospital bills, I have student loans, and a boatload of my own hospital and therapy bills. So you see, that’s why I can’t be with you guys. You deserve someone with less baggage, someone who wouldn’t mind having her name splashed across the papers when you get married because she doesn’t have all these secrets just waiting to be uncovered, someone people won’t accuse of being a gold digger or crazy, or… or…” 

 

She broke down into tears then. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I should never have let this get started to begin with. I knew all along that I’m bad for you, that I wouldn’t be able to give you what you needed, but I was so… so selfish,” she said brokenly. “I love you so much, I thought that if it was just a little while, it wouldn’t hurt, you know? Just a little taste of heaven. I was greedy, I know that now, but fuck - when you said you wanted to be with me, it was like a dream come true, I wasn’t thinking clearly, I’m so sorry,” she cried, clutching Seunghyun’s hand to her face.

 

Now it was his turn to comfort her, stroking the tears from her face with his thumb as his hand cupped her face. Jiyong stroked her back soothingly, even as his jaw tightened with anger. At the injustice of this world, and at Minyoung, for blaming herself for things that made no sense.

 

“Lee Minyoung,” he said in a terse voice. “If I ever hear you talking about yourself like that again, I will bend you over my knee. None of what you said makes you unworthy. In fact, if anything it makes you even stronger, for overcoming that and becoming who you are now.”

 

Seunghyun nodded in agreement. “I love you,” he said insistently. “No matter what. You’re the strongest person I know, and thank you for trusting us with your story.”

 

Minyoung gave him a small, tearful smile as she rested her chin on the mattress next to their linked hands.

 

“Have you been here this whole time?” Seunghyun asked. When she nodded, he sighed and frowned. “You should really go home and get some proper rest.”

 

“Why, tired of me already?” she joked.

 

When his frown just got deeper, she sighed. “I’ll go back home tomorrow, okay? I just… need to be close to you tonight.”

 

He could understand that, but he couldn’t even imagine how uncomfortable she must be from having slept in that chair for God knows how many nights in a row.

 

The next morning, the nurse was outraged to find that all three of them had somehow squeezed themselves onto the one hospital bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yesss this chapter is a monster i am honestly very impressed by how quickly i was able to get this out!!
> 
> next chapter won't be coming so quickly because i'm gonna be busier at work for the remainder of my internship, plus i've really been neglecting my other stories oops. hope this was a decent place to leave off for the time being though.


	23. Chapter 23

Life went back to normal after that - sort of. When Seunghyun was discharged, Minyoung couldn’t be there because of the swarm of reporters and fans, but she came to visit him at home that evening, bringing food she’d made.

 

He continued going for therapy, although he personally had his doubts about whether it actually worked, because Minyoung was so encouraging about it, accompanying him to the therapist’s office when she could although she never went in, instead waiting outside for him with her Kindle. One Saturday, after a particularly intense session that had left him in tears by the end, she didn’t say a word about it as she took his hand and brought him to her apartment where she kept a stash of his favourite American snacks.

 

It was then, sitting on her couch eating Doritos while she helped herself to cookie dough ice cream straight from the pint as they watched a ridiculous drama, that he asked Minyoung the question that had been gnawing at him since he woke up in the hospital and found her next to him.

 

“Minyoung-ssi?”

 

“Hmm?” Her eyes didn’t leave the screen, although to her credit, she did make a halfhearted attempt to turn towards him. She continued spooning ice cream into her mouth.

 

“Are we together?”

 

That got her attention. She reached over to pause the show, turning to regard him with serious eyes. “What?”

 

He repeated the question.

 

She frowned. “Do you want to do this now? You must be exhausted from your session just now.”

 

“No, it’s fine.” The therapist had told him to try facing his problems head-on, and he’d figured that since running away from them wasn’t working, he might as well give this a try, difficult as it could be.

 

“Okay…” Minyoung put her spoon back into the pint and set it aside. “Oppa, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be in a relationship with me while you’re still recovering.” She watched the lines in his forehead crease deeper, and hastily explained herself. “Oppa, I don’t think our relationship was that healthy for you, and I’m worried that you’re using this as a crutch.”

 

“No, Minyoungie-” his frown deepened further, and Minyoung automatically opened her arms to him, letting him push her back into a supine position on the couch and resting his cheek on her chest. She carded her hands through his hair, soothing him without speaking.

 

“You should focus on yourself for the time being,” she said. “Get better for you, you know? I’m worried that I’ll make things confusing for you. And-” she hesitated, the need to be honest with him so he wouldn’t feel like she was blaming things on his depression warring with the desire to protect him. He was vulnerable right now, could she really add more to his burden by telling him of her own insecurities?

 

“And what?” He lifted his head off her to peer down at her face. “Don’t you want to be with us?”

 

Minyoung sighed. “I- I don’t know,” she said honestly before she could stop the words from spilling out. She paused for a moment, letting the words hang in the air. Welp, guess she was going with gut-wrenching confessions after all.

 

“Oppa, being with you was… the best year of my life, without a doubt. But, and it’s a big but, I still don’t see how we could have a future together. And I’m scared.” The words tumbled out of her, all of the things she’d kept inside for weeks now fighting to get out. Her voice dipped at the last sentence, though, and it felt like her throat closed up as she fought to get the words out.

 

The lump in her throat won out and she found herself unable to say another word, for fear that she would burst into tears. She’d cried a lot recently.

 

He stroked her cheek with his thumb, his big, warm hand resting on the side of her face, cradling it like he was afraid she would shatter in his grasp. Maybe she would, she thought almost hysterically.

 

“Why are you afraid, love?”

 

Tears welled in her eyes at that, and she cursed silently. She hadn’t meant to cry, but hearing the way he addressed her so tenderly made her weak. How could he still love her, when she was so cowardly, so broken, so despicable? She’d done this to him, and still her professed his love for her unabashedly. She wished she could show him how brave he was, how much she wished she could one day aspire to be like him.

 

“I- I can’t…” she choked out, tears falling freely now.

 

“Hey, hey,” Seunghyun sat up and pulled her into his lap, rocking and shushing her as he stroked her back, letting her bury her face in his shoulder as she wept. “It’s okay, love. You can tell me if you want to, but if you aren’t ready to talk about it, we don’t have to do this now either, okay? We can go back to netflix, no questions asked.”

 

Hearing his words, Minyoung steeled herself. He was trying so hard for her, it was only fair that she do the same for him. She lifted her face off his shoulder, wincing as she saw the wet spot that her tears and snot had left on his shirt.

 

“No, it’s okay,” she hiccuped, rubbing the sleeve of her sweatshirt across her face very unglamorously. “You deserve to know.”

 

He eyed her doubtfully. “If you’re sure.”

 

Tears were still leaking from her eyes, but she clenched her jaw determinedly and nodded. “I worry that you might have to give up too much to be with me,” she said quietly, refusing to make eye contact with him as she fiddled with the frayed edge on her sleeve.

 

“Minyoungie, you should let us decide what’s too much,” Seunghyun protested.

 

“No, let me finish,” she said. “If word about our relationship gets out, I don’t know how the public will react, and it might result in your careers ending, and it’s too much. I’m not worth that kind of sacrifice, not when I know how much you love your lives, how much you love sharing your music. And-” she gulped. Here it was.

 

“I’m afraid… that if my identity becomes known to the media, my past will be out there. Every last dirty detail of my life.”

 

Seunghyun didn’t know what to say. Because, to some extent, he did understand. He knew very intimately what it was like to have others debating his conduct online even when they knew nothing about him, making assumptions about his character and taking sides when all he wanted to do was put his mistakes behind him and move on. But he’d also spent the last sixteen years in the spotlight, and he’d known what he was signing up for.

 

Minyoung… she guarded her secrets preciously, not wanting others to know about that ugly side of her, afraid that they would look differently at her after all her hard work distancing herself from the past, pulling herself together after shattering apart. He  _ knew _ that.

 

Words became difficult for him - strange, for a rapper to find himself unable to articulate what he wanted to say.

 

“Minyoung…” he started hesitantly. “I understand why you feel that way. No one knows better than me what it’s like to have their shame out there for the whole world to see.”

 

At that, Minyoung reacted almost dramatically, adjusting her position so that she was directly facing Seunghyun, straddling his lap as she held his face in her hands. “No,” she said firmly. “What happened to you… it doesn’t make you weak, or shameful. Oppa… you’re the strongest person I’ve ever known.”

 

He gave her a ghost of a smile. “If you can say that about me… why can’t you see yourself in the same way?”

 

Minyoung’s thoughts came to a screeching halt, and she could do nothing but gape helplessly at him.

 

“Minyoungie?” Seunghyun asked after a few moments when she didn’t move a muscle. “Are you okay?” To himself, he started to fret, wondering if he’d broken her. He jiggled her on his lap a little, bouncing her up and down gently. “Minyoungie?”

 

Minyoung blinked as her mental faculties came back online. “We’re not the same…” she protested halfheartedly, distressed at the comparison although she didn’t know why.

 

“Why would you say that, Minyoungie? We’ve done very similar things in the past,” he said, his thumb rubbing her sleeve over where he knew her tattoo was. “The only difference is, you didn’t break the law in your country,” he said wryly.

 

Sensing that she was speechless, he plowed on. “Minnie… you’ve struggled in the past. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you strong. And if you really want to hold on to your privacy and anonymity, we’ll respect it, but…” he grabbed her hand and pressed kisses to her knuckles. “I wonder if you might still be holding on to some stuff from your past, and if you think that’s true too, maybe you should go for therapy too.”

 

Minyoung hummed thoughtfully, resting her head on Seunghyun’s shoulder as she hugged him tightly. “Okay, I’ll think about it.”

 

* * *

 

 

And she did. Minyoung thought about it almost obsessively from the moment Seunghyun first brought it up. Should she get therapy?

 

She brought it up during lunch with Jiyong one day at the office. All attempts at pretense had basically been blown out of the water when he threatened her boss, so now she’d given up protesting and let him bully her into lunches that were way too expensive when she would usually have eaten at the cafeteria.

 

“You really should be more subtle, you know,” she told him, even as she eagerly ate everything the sushi chef put in front of her. He glanced at her askance, and she really didn’t look all that intimidating with her mouth full of raw fish and rice, wearing an expression on her face that looked like she had seen the face of God.

 

He laughed at her, unable to help his mirth when she looked so cute with her cheeks filled with food. “Subtle how?” he teased.

 

She huffed as she swallowed. “You know, like not dragging me out of the office, oppa.”

 

He reached over and tugged on her ponytail lightly. “You should eat at normal hours, then I won’t have to force you to eat.”

 

She frowned. “Still, literally manhandling me into your car was a little excessive. Why are you even so strong? We’re like the same height.”

 

He scowled. “Okay, first of all, I’m at least three centimeters taller than you. Second…” he paused at that because the chef had placed another piece of sushi in front of them and both he and Minyoung eagerly ate it before he continued speaking. “It’s not like people don’t know that we’re…”

 

He had to trail off, because he didn’t know what they were. They’d never officially gotten back together, even though Minyoung was now more than happy to spend time with either or both of them.

 

Minyoung graciously ignored the slip-up, though, and just sighed. “You know, my boss has been treating me differently since you made that call.” She didn’t say it, but she’d been looking for new opportunities since she’d gone back to work, feeling that her position at YG was untenable now that people knew she had some sort of special relationship with G-Dragon and TOP. She wasn’t sure yet what she wanted, or if she would even remain in Seoul, but she didn’t see YG in her future anymore. Not if she wanted to keep her boys in it.

 

Jiyong huffed. “Love, if you wanted to be head of the marketing department, you just need to say the word.”

 

Minyoung gave a disbelieving laugh. “I know you’re the king of kpop and all, but surely that’s pushing it a little.”

 

Winking at her, he drawled in response, “Love, nothing is too much for you.”

 

She rolled her eyes at him. “What are you doing later?” she asked to change the subject.

 

He hummed. “Probably check up on Top-hyung,” he said with a shrug. He didn’t have any schedules for the rest of the day, and all of the members had taken to checking on him periodically. He complained about it, but she knew he was grateful that they cared so much about him.

 

“Right, okay,” she said, taking a gulp of her green tea. “You know, Seunghyun-oppa suggested that I go to therapy too.”

 

“Uh,” was all Jiyong could muster as it felt like his mind went blank. “What did you have to say about that?” he asked carefully instead.

 

Minyoung shrugged. “I said I would think about it, I guess. I still don’t know what to do, though.”

 

Jiyong put down his chopsticks and made sure they were level with his thumb against the bottom. “Do you want to go to therapy?”

 

“I don’t know,” Minyoung sighed. “What he said made sense, and it’s come to my attention that I might still have some issues to work through regarding my past, but I just…” she trailed off as she fiddled with her cup, tilting it slightly and rotating it with her fingers on the rim. “It feels a little like I’m admitting failure if I decide to go for therapy.”

 

“I’m sorry, I’m not following.”

 

“It’s just-” Minyoung gesticulated with her hands. “I thought I put all that behind me, you know? I wanted so much to believe that I was stronger and wiser and all that.”

 

He took her hand in his, running his thumb over her knuckles tenderly. “Love, you can be all those things and still go for therapy. In fact, I think it’s a sign of strength and wisdom that you’re even willing to consider this, you know? Three months ago, you would have gotten defensive if anyone suggested that you still held on to your past. It’s normal, love, you’ve had a difficult life.”

 

Minyoung gave him a small smile as he slid off the stool he was perched on and pressed a kiss to her temple before going to settle the bill. She finished her green tea and went to join him at the counter, watching as he casually signed the bill and led her out of the restaurant.

 

Back in the car, they continued their conversation. “Do you think I should go for therapy?” she asked, holding his hand as he drove.

 

Jiyong hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t really have a preference; it’s ultimately your choice, after all,” he explained. “I’ll be supportive no matter what you choose.”

 

Minyoung thought she might have melted and wondered absently how Jiyong would feel about having to scrape the goo that had once been her body off his expensive leather seats. (She then remembered that they’d left a hell of a lot worse than hypothetical body goo on his seats, and stopped feeling quite so bad about it.)

 

When there was no response from Minyoung, Jiyong spared a second to glance over at her, and found her staring at him with stars in her eyes. “What is it?” he asked, vaguely discomfited since it wasn’t a look he was used to seeing on her face anymore. He didn’t think she’d looked at him that way since she was fifteen.

 

“Nothing,” she said, leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek. “Just wondering how I got so lucky.”

 

He looked at her, bemused. “Someone’s in a mushy mood today.”

 

“Maybe.” She smiled back at him and squeezed his hand in hers.

 

* * *

 

 

It wasn’t until she mentioned it to Alex and Elliot during a Skype session that she made up her mind. After all, it was the two of them that knew every last shameful detail about her past, who had lived through it with her and patched her up when she’d been broken.

 

She was sitting in bed with a cup of hot chocolate, snuggled in a sweatshirt she’d filched from Jiyong’s closet that probably cost more than she wanted to know, and chatting with them about what they’d been up to recently.

 

Married life suited them, she thought, leaning back into her pillows as she sipped on her beverage loudly. Seeing her friends so happy, leaning into each other as they peered into the camera and told her about the puppy they were in the process of adopting from the pound, made her want to have her happy ending too. It should be achievable for her, she thought, if she put in enough work. Alex had worked hard, too, for his happiness, working through all his internalized homophobia and standing up to his family to make them see that Elliot was his soulmate.

 

So when they wound down from their story about the rambunctious puppy they were taking home with them next week and asked her how things were going on her side, Minyoung looked studiously into her cup as she mentioned with feigned nonchalance that she was considering going back to therapy.

 

“You are? Really?” Elliot asked excitedly.

 

“Min, that’s amazing!” Alex cheered.

 

Minyoung blinked, surprised at the enthusiastic response. “O-kay,” she said slowly, putting her mug down on her bedside table. “I was expecting a more measured response,” she said, narrowing her eyes at her laptop.

 

Alex shrugged unrepentantly, but Elliot had the grace to look a little ashamed. “Sweetheart, you know we just want the best for you, and therapy never hurt anyone,” Elliot said.

 

Minyoung hummed. “I don’t know… I just always thought that I didn’t need it, that I was cured.”

 

Alex snorted out a laugh.

 

“Alex!” Minyoung and Elliot cried simultaneously in exasperation.

 

He rolled his eyes. “Love, you’ve been fucked up for as long as I’ve known you, and I’ve known you for ten years now.”

 

Minyoung huffed, but since she couldn’t really defend herself in good faith, she didn’t bother trying.

 

Settling in as he snuggled closer to Elliot, he continued, more serious now. “I know you’ve always thought about that period of your life as something you should be ashamed of and that you needed to lock away, but that’s really not true at all. You had incredibly traumatic things happen to you when you were too young, and you didn’t deal with them in the best way possible. It happens to all of us, and it’s not a failing on your part.

 

“And I’m really proud of you, you know that, right? After what happened, no one was sure that you’d ever find your way back again, you just seemed so broken and lost. But you did, so you should never think that you’re weak, do you understand me?” he said firmly.

 

Surprised at the intensity with which he’d delivered his spiel, Minyoung nodded, unable to form words at the moment. He wasn’t done, though.

 

“You’ve been different since you came back to us, though. Just a little stiffer, like you hold yourself away from people because you’re afraid they’ll come too close and see things you don’t want them to see. You hide your past like it’s a shameful secret when - okay, I understand that it’s not something you shout to the rafters, but it’s nothing that should make people think differently of you.

 

“Maybe, if it helps, you could think of this as the next phase in your recovery journey,” he suggested. “We’re all always working on ourselves. It’s like working out, y’know? You can always be better. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you now, but if you see something about yourself that you want to improve, you should take steps to do it.”

 

“Huh.” That was actually the best advice she’d ever gotten; Alex had truly outdone himself this time. When she told him as much, he just puffed his chest up and acted like he was insulted she hadn’t realised earlier that he was the greatest person of all time.

 

(Elliot smacked the back of his head because Minyoung was unable to reach out through the computer screen to do it.)

 

So Minyoung did it, filled out all the paperwork to have her therapy covered by her workplace health insurance (and it was really nice of YG to provide such comprehensive coverage, she thought, so she would be grateful as she filled out various fifty-page long forms), found a therapist that came highly recommended, and booked an appointment.

 

It was difficult at first, especially because she hadn’t actually told anyone other than Alex and Elliot that she was doing this, but it got better, and she had to admit that her therapist, a middle-aged man with a comforting aura, was helping.

 

So far, they’d mostly talked about why she felt she needed therapy (and his expression when she’d revealed her relationship status had been something else, although thankfully doctor-patient confidentiality meant that he wouldn’t be blabbing to the tabloids) and why she still, after everything, felt like they might leave in the end.

 

That had been painful, she thought, remembering the conversation she’d had with kindly Dr Jung.

 

“Are you afraid they don’t love you enough?”

 

“What -  _ no!” _ The denial feels like it’s been ripped from her chest, it was so emphatic; she’d basically screamed it at the poor man. 

 

He took it like a champ, though, looking down at his notes without so much as a flinch, even though she was sure the whole building had heard her screech.

 

“Then why do you think they’ll leave?”

 

She frowned. “Aren’t you supposed to be the one with all the answers?”

 

“I can’t tell you how you feel, Miss Lee. I’m just here to help you realise it for yourself.”

 

Leaning back against the couch that she could have sworn was the same one as the one her therapist back in New York had in his office - did all therapists buy their furniture from the same store? - she hummed thoughtfully.

 

Helping her out, he prompted, “Have they ever done anything to make you think that they wouldn’t stay?”

 

After considering it carefully, she shook her head.

 

“Then perhaps it’s something from your past? You mentioned that several traumatic events have happened to you in your life.”

 

“Maybe I…” she started in a halting voice. “I might have trouble believing people will come through for me because of what happened back then.” As she said the words, she knew in her bones that this was true. “It makes me feel like a horrible person, because I’m blaming people for things they couldn’t help, but it felt like everyone I counted on back then let me down.”

 

Her father, who’d died so quickly, after a regular checkup had revealed that he had late-stage cancer, and broke their happy family. Her mother, who’d been so wrapped up in her own grief that she’d forgotten about the two children she still had to take care of, forcing Minyoung to sacrifice her own dream for her family. CEO Yang, who could have saved her family, saved  _ her, _ from years of drudgery and scraping together pennies to make sure her family didn’t end up on the streets.

 

The boys, who had moved on without her, as if all those years of friendship, of her pining after them quietly, hadn’t meant anything to them. They could have tried harder to find her, she thought bitterly.

 

They could have picked up the damn phone that one time.

 

But none of that was anyone else’s fault. Okay, maybe CEO Yang had been a little bit of a douche for being so mean to her, even though he knew the situation she’d been in, but the rest of it - it was unreasonable and unfair.

 

Dr Jung drummed his pen against his clipboard when she told him. “Well, you did go through a very difficult time in your life, and at sixteen it’s not unreasonable to have the expectation that the figures of authority, or people you trusted, in your life will always be there for you, when it’s all you’ve ever known. You’re entitled to your feelings, Miss Lee, and it’s good that you’re working through all of it now.”

 

“Isn’t it awful? Aren’t I an awful person? I’m mad at my father for  _ dying _ , for God’s sake!”

 

“All of us feel things we wish we didn’t feel, Miss Lee. You can’t help your feelings, and it doesn’t feel like any of the negative emotions you’ve described to me are dominant in your relationships with the people you’ve named, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”

 

“Really?” Minyoung asked in a small voice, turning her head to look over at Dr Jung.

 

He gave her a reassuring smile. “Really.”

 

“Okay.” Minyoung reached over her head for the box of tissues that was conveniently laid out on the little table next to the couch.

 

“I do, however, think that your current issues may stem from what you just told me, and I think that’s something for you to think about for our next session.”

 

“Okay,” Minyoung acquiesced as she sat back up. “Thanks, Dr Jung. See you next week.”

 

He smiled back at her as she exited the room. “See you.” 

 

That session was still fresh in her mind the next time she hung out with Seunghyun and Jiyong, in the latter’s apartment. She was still nervous to go back to Seunghyun’s, because being there reminded her of finding him lying there.

 

It was after work on Friday night, and they’d begged her to cook American food for them, and because she was weak she’d agreed.

 

It wasn’t until after they’d eaten, lying on the couch while having wine, that Minyoung brought up what she’d been thinking about all night.

 

“Oppa,” she said, swirling the wine in her glass as she lay with her head in Seunghyun’s lap and her feet propped up in Jiyong’s, “do you think I have trust issues?”

 

Seunghyun looked down at her. “Where is this coming from?”

 

“My therapist said he thinks I have problems with trusting people with my future because of my traumatic past.”

 

“You’ve been seeing a therapist?” Jiyong interjected.

 

“Oh, yeah, I talked to Alex and Elliot about it and they thought it was a good idea, so I decided to give it a go. It’s really been helping.”

 

“Why didn’t you say anything, love? We would have brought you.”

 

Minyoung shrugged, looking away from them self-consciously. “I don’t know, it was just something I wanted to do for me.” And for this relationship, she thought but didn’t say. They understood, though, Seunghyun in particular, and he gave her a pleased little smile.

 

“You were saying?” he prompted her to continue, the hand that wasn’t holding his wine going to capture her free hand. 

 

“We talked about it a few days ago, and he helped me realize that when I was sixteen, everyone in my life that I counted on let me down, and it’s been hard for me to trust that people will stick around for me since then.”

 

Seunghyun hummed. “That certainly sounds plausible.” 

 

“Yeah,” Minyoung agreed, tilting her head slightly to get a better look at him. “Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I’m working on it.” Again, she didn’t have to spell it out for them to understand, and for the first time, she started feeling like maybe this could work in the long haul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, it is I, arisen from the dead.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!! I wrote the bulk of it literally in one day.
> 
> Also just wanted to say thanks to everyone who read this story for sticking around, even though I don't think anyone quite expected for this to get so angsty, especially when the first like 70k words or so were so fluffy and cute. You guys are truly the MVP. <3


	24. Chapter 24

Creating music had, for most of Minyoung’s life, been a way for her to express and work through her emotions. She’d never been the best at it - at least, CEO Yang had never thought much of her original music and never encouraged her to pursue songwriting the way he’d encouraged the Big Bang members - but she enjoyed it, just as much as the other aspects of performing.

 

It had actually been one of the first things she’d connected with Jiyong and Seunghyun over, as teenagers. They’d never laughed at her amateurish attempts at songwriting or her cringe-worthy, sloppily penned Korean lyrics (her English songs were way better, thank you very much).

 

So it wasn’t too much of a surprise when a few weeks later, she found herself sitting between her boys at the piano in Jiyong’s apartment. She didn’t think she’d played any of her original songs for them since she’d come back to Korea, and had let it slip that she did use songwriting as an outlet, asking if Seunghyun was doing the same.

 

That had sparked an interest in what she’d been working on recently, which had led to her hesitant confession that she’d written a song to deal with her feelings about Seunghyun’s time in the hospital. It hadn’t really been something she’d intended to share with them, ever, because it was so personal and intimate, and also because it was kind of weird, she thought, and she didn’t want it to bring up bad memories for him.

 

He’d been doing so well recently, starting to smile again, making silly jokes, that she didn’t want to do anything to compromise his progress. Still, the two of them had insisted, and Minyoung, as always, was weak for her boys.

 

She bit her lip as she played some scales to warm up, looking over at Seunghyun worriedly. “Are you sure you want to hear this one?” she asked for the umpteenth time. “I can play something else for you, I’ve been writing again for a few years now…”

 

Both of them filed that little detail away as something they would have to ask her about later, but reassured her that they wanted to hear the song she’d written.

 

“Okay,” she said, still uncertain, but beginning to play anyway. Her voice started off softly, wavering a little, blending with the notes she was playing.

 

_ There goes my heart beating _

_ 'Cause you are the reason _

_ I'm losing my sleep _

_ Please come back now _

 

As she continued singing, her voice grew stronger, steadier, and as she immersed herself in the song she stopped worrying about their reactions. _   
_ _   
_ _ There goes my mind racing _ _   
_ _ And you are the reason _ _   
_ __ That I'm still breathing

_ I'm hopeless now _

 

_ I'd climb every mountain _

_ And swim every ocean _

_ Just to be with you _

_ And fix what I've broken _

_ Oh, 'cause I need you to see _

_ That you are the reason _

 

She swallowed in the beat between verses, blinking away tears determinedly as she moved her hands to continue the song.

 

_ There goes my hand shaking _

_ And you are the reason _

_ My heart keeps bleeding _

_ I need you now _

 

_ If I could turn back the clock _

_ I'd make sure the light defeated the dark _

_ I'd spend every hour, of every day _

_ Keeping you safe _

 

Her voice broke in the middle of the verse, and Seunghyun automatically placed a hand on the small of her back to comfort her, to let her know that he was here and wasn’t going anywhere. Jiyong, every inch the producer, was lost in her music, doing that thing where it was clear he was only half there, hearing the produced version of the song. He would add a violin, maybe some layering and harmonizing...

 

_ And I'd climb every mountain _

_ And swim every ocean _

_ Just to be with you _

_ And fix what I've broken _

_ Oh, 'cause I need you to see _

_ That you are the reason, oh _

 

_ (I don't wanna fight no more) _

_ (I don't wanna hurt no more) _

_ (I don't wanna cry no more) _

_ (Come back, I need you to hold me closer now)  _

_ You are the reason, oh _

_ (Just a little closer now)  _

_ (Come a little closer now) _

_ (I need you to hold me tonight) _

 

_ I'd climb every mountain _

_ And swim every ocean _

_ Just to be with you _

_ And fix what I've broken _

_ 'Cause I need you to see _

_ That you are the reason _

 

Her voice faded, her hands dropping from the piano into her lap. In the silence that followed, she didn’t quite know what to say.

 

As if on cue, Jiyong and Seunghyun reached over and each took one of her hands, offering physical comfort when words wouldn’t suffice. Seunghyun leaned over slightly to press a kiss to her temple.

 

Clearing her throat, Minyoung took her hand back from him to clean away her tears. “Right, so that happened,” she said, trying to lighten the mood and get a grip on her emotions.

 

Neither of her boys were having any of that, as they just glomped her in response. A little surprised but not at all displeased, Minyoung smiled as she brought her arms around them, stroking their backs as they buried their faces in her neck. “Hey, what’s this reaction?” she asked with laughter in her voice.

 

“Nothing,” Seunghyun mumbled. “I just really love you, that’s all.”

 

Minyoung chuckled, pressing kisses into whatever part of his head she could reach. “I love you too.”

 

Jiyong whined and burrowed deeper into Minyoung. “Yes, yes, you brat, I love you too,” she teased.

 

“I am not a brat,” he huffed, reaching up to tug on her hair. Turning serious, he sat up. “You know, I could produce that song for you.”

 

Minyoung quirked a brow at him. “I’m not signed to YG, sweetie, I just work there.”

 

“I know that,” Jiyong complained, rolling his eyes. “I’m just saying, I think this song is really something else.”

 

Minyoung hummed. “Thank you, love.” She pulled him in to kiss his cheek, then changed the subject, asking Seunghyun if he would be willing to share his music with her.

 

* * *

 

 

Minyoung forgot about Jiyong’s offer to work with her on her music, but he didn’t. In fact, he thought about almost nothing else in the spare time that he had from then on. If she really didn’t want to make a career out of music, he could respect that, but if she wanted to share her music with others, even if it wasn’t in the same way that he did… he wanted to help her.

 

Finally, he decided to get her a gift. He’d had to have it made, since he figured what he wanted would no longer be in the YG fashion vault, but it was worth it.

 

Holding it in his hand, he wondered how he should do it. Put it in a nice box and make a big gesture out of it the way Seunghyun had with the collar?

 

Probably not.

 

After mulling about it for a few more days, he decided to pass it off as nothing much so she wouldn’t get her guard up.

 

When Minyoung slid into the passenger seat of his car that evening, she was a little distracted from the talk she’d had with her boss that afternoon. Out of courtesy, she’d told him that she was looking at employment elsewhere because of her complicated relationship with G-Dragon and asked for his support. He’d been nice about it, offering her support and references if she needed them, but clearly relieved; she knew that Jiyong’s intervention had made things weird for him.

 

“Hi, oppa,” she greeted as he started driving away from the office.

 

“How was your day?” he asked, reaching over to take her hand in his.

 

“It was okay… I talked to the marketing director about maybe leaving YG,” Minyoung said. It was the first time she’d told either of the boys, afraid of their reaction. She worried her lip between her teeth, hoping Jiyong would remain calm.

 

“You want to leave the company? Is it because someone is making things difficult for you?” His voice sharpened, and she winced a little.

 

“N-no, just… I think it’d be better if my professional life was more separate from my personal life,” she explained.

 

Seeing his frown deepen, she hastily added, “Besides, I’ve been thinking about going back to school, maybe getting an MBA…”

 

The distraction worked; her heart swelled as he perked up at the mere mention of her going back to school. How very Asian of him, she thought fondly, as he gushed his encouragement, recommending different universities in Seoul with excellent MBA programs that she could apply to.

 

For the rest of the trip to his place, they talked about that, and Minyoung was pleased that he seemed to have taken the news fairly well.

 

When they got back to the apartment, Seunghyun was there waiting for them, having all but moved back into Jiyong’s place. His own apartment held too many negative memories for him now, and he was considering selling it and getting another place.

 

When Minyoung toed off her shoes and took the step into the apartment proper, he was waiting and opened his arms to give her a hug, which she sank into gratefully. “I missed you today, oppa,” she mumbled into his chest. “What did you get up to today?” she asked, leading him further into the apartment. 

 

He shrugged. “The usual, I guess… wrote some lyrics, watched Netflix.”

 

“Sounds like your day was way better than mine,” she cracked.

 

Humming, he directed her into the dining room where he’d laid out dinner for them, and happily accepted her excited praise about the food, even before she’d tried it. Jiyong, following them, slid into the seat across from Minyoung and started chowing down too.

 

After dinner, Minyoung was about to grab the ice cream Jiyong didn’t know she had in his freezer when he stopped her by standing up and grabbing her wrist before she could head into the kitchen.

 

“What’s up?” she asked, not thinking much of it as she turned to look at him.

 

Instead of giving her a verbal answer, he pulled her a little closer, turning the wrist he was holding so that her palm was facing up. Then he brought his other hand out from behind his back, dropping something into her hand.

 

She gave him a bemused look, holding the item with both hands. “What is this?” she asked with laughter bubbling in her voice, as she turned it over. It was pretty, a delicate-looking black masquerade mask in a lace pattern with ribbons attached to either side of it. A second later, it clicked.

 

“Where did you get this?” she asked, laughing delightedly. “Is it the same one as-”

 

He rolled his eyes. “God, no,” he said fondly. “That shit would probably have mold all over it even if I could still have found it in YG’s fashion vault.”

 

Seunghyun, who’d known about Jiyong’s plan, watched contentedly.

 

“Wow, this is a real blast from the past,” she said, smiling down at the mask in her hands softly. It was an exact replica of the one she’d worn for her first big performance as a trainee. “Thank you, Jiyong-oppa, but… why?”

 

This was it… moment of truth.

 

“I wanted to remind you… how good it feels to share your music with other people.” Because no matter how nervous she’d been the night of the performance, that had been the one constant that had driven her throughout her time as a trainee.

 

“Oppa, is this about your offer to produce my music? I told you, I appreciate it but I’m not interested in being an idol anymore… anyway, all my lyrics are in English these days. I gave up trying to write in Korean,” Minyoung said with a sigh.

 

He shrugged. “You don’t have to do the whole thing. You could post your music on Soundcloud, or Youtube or something. It’s just… it’d be nice to make music with you, you know?”

 

Minyoung hummed thoughtfully. Put that way, it did sound rather appealing, sharing their music and creating something. It would definitely be a fun way for them to spend time together. “What do you think, Seunghyun-oppa?” she asked, turning towards him.

 

“It’s up to you, love,” he said, going to kiss her on the forehead. “If you don’t want to do it, it’s fine too. I think it’d be fun for all of us, though, and we’ve already been making music for fun; it’s just nice to be able to share it with people, even if it isn’t on the same scale or anything, you know?”

 

“That’s true,” she said, looking down at the mask in her hands thoughtfully. “Okay, let’s do it,” she finally said, with a grin.

 

* * *

 

 

Minyoung was surprised to find out just how much equipment Jiyong actually kept in his apartment, since he basically had unfettered access to YG’s studios as well, but she supposed she shouldn’t have been.

 

It was fascinating to watch the two of them work together to set up, their technical knowledge really something else, considering that they’d always had experts on hand to help. The only contribution they really needed from her was setting up the Youtube channel and choosing her username (she thought she was being funny when she chose La Belle Masque).

 

How excited they were to work with her was heartwarming, especially when she remembered all the big names they’d had the privilege of collaborating with (although, it could be argued that they were some of the biggest names of all, and it was a privilege to collaborate with them too).

 

When it was time to begin recording, Minyoung tied the mask over her face and sat on the piano bench, adjusting the microphone nervously. Jiyong and Seunghyun sat just out of frame, each with a laptop in front of them, wearing giant headphones. She smiled fondly at them, looking so incredibly serious as they frowned at the screens in front of them, making her heart squeeze with affection.

 

Jiyong nodded at her, and Minyoung nodded back, placing her fingers on the keys as she started to play.

 

The recording didn’t take too long, just a few hours, because Minyoung had been clear about the fact that she didn’t want too much going on, preferring to keep it almost entirely acoustic. When they uploaded it, grinning, Minyoung didn’t expect much - she knew original music tended not to become viral on Youtube, and it wasn’t like she really wanted fame, anyway, instead hoping that she would be able to create a small, intimate community of people who enjoy music.

 

It became their weekend routine, as they would put out a video on the days that Minyoung didn’t have to work, either covers or original music that they created together. Once they did a stripped down cover of Crooked, and Seunghyun sulked until Minyoung pointed out that there was no way she could do a cover of one of his rap songs, although he still looked displeased until she offered to record a duet with him.

 

Obviously, the duet couldn’t be released on the Internet where it was sure that someone would realize who he was, but he was more than happy to post it on his personal Instagram for his friends and family to enjoy.

 

Her American friends, of course, were thrilled when she shared with them their new project, and Alex and Elliot, had, of course, been the most extra when they promoted her channel on their social media, including a video of her singing at their wedding in the posts. She’d protested, but only until they told her how many of their friends had asked who the singer was after the wedding, and whether they could book her for their events too, then she was too busy blushing and hiding her face in her hands while Jiyong and Seunghyun looked kind of smug that their girl was so talented.

 

Working on music together was healing for both Minyoung and Seunghyun; for the latter, it was a way to work through his feelings in a way he hadn’t had for a long time, making music just for the fun of it instead of constantly having to worry about popularity or how the public would enjoy it. He could just have fun, and experiment with different sounds and styles, and, of course, it was a great way to spend time with Minyoung.

 

For Minyoung, making music with Jiyong and Seunghyun was in some way the fulfilment of a secret, long-held dream. She didn’t think they remembered it, but they’d both (at different times, and separately) offered to help produce her debut single and write songs with her after realising that she would have trouble writing Korean lyrics. She’d just shrugged it off at the time, believing that her debut was too far into the future to make promises like that, but every time they’d offered to work with her it had made her heart flutter in her chest.

 

Evidently, some things didn’t change. Well, lots of things didn’t, if the way Seunghyun and Jiyong frowned when she’d told them about how she’d stopped writing music after returning to the States from Korea and only picked it up again at the encouragement of her therapist after her suicide attempt, then doubled down on their attempts to spoil her rotten.

 

Really, it was getting to be too much. Seunghyun was feeling up to leaving the house on some days, and the first thing he’d done was take her for a three-hour lunch by making a nuisance of himself at her office until she agreed to eat with him, just so he’d leave.

 

She couldn’t help but love it, though. Who could dislike being coddled by their boyfriends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter than usual today, because I was afraid I would end up sitting on this for too long if I waited to post it. Because school is getting a lil more intense I don't think I'll be able to post as frequently and will probably have to post shorter chapters (or I could post long chapters less frequently? What do you prefer?)
> 
> The song that Minyoung sang in this chapter is You Are the Reason by Calum Scott.


	25. Chapter 25

Things changed again, of course, because how could they not?

 

This time, it came in the form of an innocuous-looking email that Minyoung opened one lazy Saturday morning, as she was enjoying a cup of tea.

 

“Dear Miss Lee, we are pleased to inform you…” she read out loud absently, before blowing the steam rising from her cup of tea away and taking a sip.

 

Then her eyes widened and she put the mug down, lest her trembling cause the hot liquid to spill on her. Reading the rest of it, she could hardly believe the contents of the email.

 

“Oh my God…” she breathed. “Yes!” It was actually two good pieces of news at once - Harvard Business School had accepted her into their MBA program for the fall, and the New York-based consultancy firm whose scholarship program she’d applied for had, on receiving the news, converted their conditional acceptance of her into their program into an unconditional one, meaning that upon graduation from her Masters program, she would have a job back in New York.

 

Smiling, she picked up her mug again and took a long sip of her tea. Finally, some good fucking news in her life, she thought. Since the program was starting in September and it was now May, she could take her time to make arrangements, terminate the lease on her apartment, find somewhere to live in Boston…

 

Oh. Her thoughts screeched to a halt as it occurred to her for the first time that she would have to leave Korea to take this opportunity. And with the bond on the scholarship, it wouldn’t be for a short period of time, either.

 

She bit her lip, her joy dissipating into the ether as if it had never been. Things were going well with the two men - so well that she’d almost been thinking about maybe revisiting the discussion about their relationship status soon, especially if Seunghyun kept making the kind of progress that had characterised the past few months of his therapy sessions.

 

Minyoung ended up fretting about it for about a week before finally working up the courage to tell Seunghyun and Jiyong about it, putting it off until two days before the deadline they’d given her to accept the offer.

 

Finally, when she couldn’t put it off any longer, she reluctantly went to talk to them, and even then, she hemmed and hawed about it, looking constipated the whole night until finally Jiyong straight-up asked her why she was being so weird all of a sudden.

 

Without saying a word, she pulled up the email on her phone and showed it to them. Seunghyun’s brow furrowed as he realised that it was in English and glanced at her to make sure that this really was what she was showing them, but when she nodded he concentrated on reading, biting his lip as he frowned at the screen.

 

“Dear Miss Lee…” Jiyong read out loud. “We are pleased to inform you that given your offer from Harvard Business School, we are converting our offer from conditional to unconditional. The terms of the scholarship are as follows…”

 

Minyoung worried her bottom lip with her teeth, wondering how they were going to react. Jiyong would probably be fine, she knew, but she was so worried about Seunghyun…

 

There was a moment of silence after Jiyong finished reading the email, before Minyoung couldn’t take it anymore and asked, “So… what do you guys think?”

 

“You got into  _ Harvard Business School _ ?” Jiyong demanded, and Minyoung, not expecting such a loud response, flinched in shock.

 

“I, uh…” she hesitated, not sure how to respond.

 

“Baby, that’s amazing! I’m so proud of you!” he continued, and she let herself start to smile, feeling the joy that had been her initial reaction to the news seep back into her.

 

“Yeah?” she asked softly.

 

“Of course, baby,” Jiyong replied, pulling her closer to press a soft kiss to her forehead. “Why did you wait so long to tell us?”

 

Her eyes darted quickly over to Seunghyun, and she took his hand in hers before looking back at Jiyong and answering his question. “Harvard is in Boston, oppa.”

 

Jiyong blinked, and Seunghyun stiffened next to her, his hand tensing in hers.

 

“Well, I knew that, love. You did mention you were looking at some universities outside Seoul.”

 

“And this scholarship comes with a bond. Which means I have to work for them in New York.”

 

Seunghyun’s hand clenched around hers, his nails biting into her skin in a manner that bordered on painful.

 

Sneaking another glance over at the older man, Jiyong finally started to realise why she’d been so worried to tell them about this.

 

Minyoung bit her lip again, looking over at Seunghyun, stroking the back of his hand with the thumb of the hand he was clutching. “I don’t have to take it, oppa. You’re important to me, and if you want me to stay in Seoul, I will.”

 

_ Breathe _ , Seunghyun reminded himself. It seemed like it had been a while since he’d done that.

 

He looked over at Minyoung, and Jiyong sitting behind her, both looking at him so worriedly, as if he might shatter to pieces.

 

And maybe they weren’t wrong about that. Last year, that was exactly what he would have done if he’d found out that Minyoung was moving back to America indefinitely. Hell, three months ago he would have done that.

 

But now… even though they hadn’t talked about it in a while, he knew she loved him, loved them. It was evident in her every look and action, the way she fussed over him, making sure he’d eaten, letting him lie on the couch with his head in her lap when he came home from a long day at work, even though he knew she was tired too and wanted to go to bed. It was clear from the way she held his hand now, telling him without a trace of hesitation in her voice that she would give something like that up if it would make him happy.

 

Finding his voice again, he said, quietly but firmly, “No.”

 

Minyoung blinked. “No?”

 

“You’re not giving something like this up, Min, are you crazy? This firm… this school… it’s incredible, and I’m so proud of you, and you  _ have _ to take it.”

 

“But what about… us?” Minyoung hated how small and unsure her voice sounded. She’d known all along, even if she hadn’t wanted to admit it to herself, but it wasn’t just Seunghyun who had mixed feelings about this. She didn’t want to leave her boys indefinitely either. In the past few years, she’d come to realise consciously what she’d probably always known deep in her heart - that Jiyong and Seunghyun were it for her, they were meant to be together and she wouldn’t get another shot at love if she threw away something so precious.

 

Jiyong raised a brow. “What about us?”

 

Minyoung stared at him, speechless.

 

Seunghyun huffed out a laugh at her expression, even as he made a show of frowning at Jiyong for teasing her like that. “What Jiyong is trying to say is that things don’t have to change, love. We could spend more time in New York, actually. We’ve actually been considering putting some real effort into breaking into the American market, especially given the success that some of the newer groups have had there.”

 

Minyoung exhaled slowly, shakily, like she’d been given a stay on a death sentence. “Really?” Her voice was small, hopeful. Maybe she could have everything, after all. It wouldn’t be too much, right? If she wanted this opportunity and her boys?

 

Seunghyun leaned in and rested his forehead against hers. “Really,” he confirmed, watching as she closed her eyes, which had gone slightly glossy.

 

“I love you two so much,” she said, her voice quivering slightly. The words, while soft, felt like they’d been ripped from her chest, the emotion so real and raw that it almost hurt. Could you die from loving someone so much, she wondered, because that’s what it felt like right now.

 

Jiyong chuckled, pressing kisses down the side of her neck. “We know, baby.”

 

Gasping in mock outrage, Minyoung pulled away slightly from Seunghyun and grabbed Jiyong’s hand, pulling it so that his arm wrapped around her waist. “You did  _ not _ just Han Solo me, Kwon Jiyong!”

 

He nibbled on her neck. “So what if I did, baby girl?”

 

Minyoung made a noise between a sigh and a moan. It had been  _ so long _ since she’d gotten any action, and she couldn’t help but tilt her head to the side to give him more access, closing her eyes as she leaned back slightly. Jiyong helped her along, coaxing her down so that her back was pressed against his chest.

 

“Such a needy little girl for daddy, hmm?” he hummed as he trailed kisses back up her neck and her jaw, resisting the urge to suck a bruise into the tender skin.

 

“Please, daddy,” she whined, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip.

 

Seunghyun chuckled, a dark sound that she hadn’t heard in almost a year, as he lifted the hand he was holding to his lips. “Daddy’s being mean, isn’t he?” he coos in mock sympathy, and Minyoung nods helplessly.

 

“Not as mean as I can be, my pet,” Seunghyun growled against Minyoung’s lips, right before he devoured her. It was the only way to describe it, really. He kissed her so deeply, licked into her mouth like he was starving as his free hand tangled in her hair, holding her still.

 

“Mm, Seunghyun-oppa,” Minyoung sighed into his mouth. His hand in her hair tightened warningly, and she corrected herself immediately. “ _ Sir _ ,” she gasped, feeling heat bloom low in her belly as the dual sensations of the pressure on her scalp and Jiyong’s teeth on her neck stole her senses.

 

Forgetting about his earlier restraint in not marking her up, Jiyong bit down hard, sucking on the skin in his mouth and feeling Minyoung vibrate under his lips. She really was a little pain slut, he thought fondly as he released the skin and lapped at it soothingly. “Daddy…” she whined, and he made a soft noise in response.

 

Her panties were definitely ruined, Minyoung thought as she opened her eyes dazedly, blinking at Seunghyun, who was sitting in front of her, that dangerous smirk on his face that she reacted to viscerally, her core clenching hard, wetness seeping from her.

 

“What’s wrong, pet?” he cooed at her, the gentle tone completely at odds with the glint in his eye. Minyoung licked her lips, watching his eyes track the movement intently.

 

Fuck it. Throwing caution to the wind, Minyoung decided to lean into whatever was happening right now.  _ Sex _ , her mind helpfully supplied. That was what was happening.

 

“You’re wearing too many clothes, sir, that’s what the fuck is wrong,” Minyoung complained, even as she grabbed the front of his shirt to haul him closer to her, smothering his surprised laugh with her mouth.

 

Taking that as permission, Jiyong’s hands snuck under her shirt, resting on the smooth skin of her belly for a moment before sliding up slowly, taking her shirt with him. Detaching herself from Seunghyun so that Jiyong could tug the shirt over her head, she used the time wisely to get Seunghyun out of his shirt, then turned her head enough that she could kiss Jiyong.

 

“Not that I’m not enjoying this,” Seunghyun drawled, “but this might be more comfortable somewhere else.”

 

Minyoung detached herself from Jiyong to agree, and he sneakily used the distraction to unhook the bra she was wearing.

 

“Come on, baby girl, let’s go to the bed,” Jiyong urged, standing up and all but picking her up as he hurried them over. It was a good thing Minyoung’s apartment was small and the bed was basically right behind the couch anyway, because even as they made their way there, pieces of clothing were being left on the floor haphazardly.

 

With a heartfelt groan, Seunghyun all but threw Minyoung onto the bed so hard she bounced, not that she cared as she immediately surged back onto her knees, kneeling on the edge of the bed facing Seunghyun, who was still standing, as he kissed her hungrily, his tongue sliding against hers in an imitation of what he hoped to be doing with her soon.

 

Minyoung’s hands slid down his bare chest, her nails adding that little twinge of pain that kept him from losing his grip on reality as she hooked her fingers in the waistband of his boxers and drew them down, not even bothering to get them past his knees before she went for broke, closing her hand around his erection.

 

“Mm, I’ve missed this,” she confessed huskily, beginning a slow, leisurely rhythm, adding that little twist of her wrist near the top that she knew he liked.

 

“Fuck, Min, so did I,” Seunghyun choked out, one hand grabbing onto her shoulder, his thumb pressing into her collarbone when all he wanted to do was move it slightly so it was pressing on her throat.

 

Minyoung smiled up at him, and the sheer, breathtaking joy evident in her expression would have made him breathless if he hadn’t already been.

 

Jiyong, meanwhile, had climbed onto the bed behind Minyoung and was tugging her panties down, urging her knees further apart so he could slip his hand between her legs. “God, you’re so wet already,” he said, sounding like the revelation had broken him.

 

“Are you, pet?” Seunghyun asked, raising a brow at Minyoung, who squirmed on Jiyong’s hand. Jiyong swiped his fingers through her slit, the pads of his fingers giving her clit a moment of friction that was too much yet not enough, before withdrawing his hand completely, to her outrage and disappointment.

 

She watched soundlessly, however, the breath knocked from her lungs, when Jiyong raised his fingers, shining with her slick, to Seunghyun, and the taller man took the proffered fingers into his mouth, closing his eyes in appreciation as he cleaned them.

 

“Mm, you are wet,” Seunghyun said when he’d licked every trace of Minyoung from his bandmate’s fingers. “You dirty little whore, we haven’t even done anything yet.”

 

The harsh words made Minyoung shudder as a fresh wave of arousal washed through her. She bit her lip against the whimpers that threatened to bubble up as her belly tightened.

 

“Please, please,” she begged without really knowing what it was she wanted.

 

They knew, though. They always knew.

 

Sharing a meaningful glance over her head, Jiyong slowly pulled Minyoung’s hips down and towards him, pressing on her with one hand as he pumped his erection with the other, aiming it so that it split her open as he continuing forcing her down. They didn’t usually rush into things with this little buildup, but it had been a long time for all of them, and based on how wet and needy Minyoung had been, they knew she didn’t need extensive foreplay this time.

 

Minyoung’s breath hissed out between her teeth as tears sprung to her eyes, her hands clenched into fists and resting on Seunghyun’s abs as she felt him work his way into her. She wanted it, and God knew she was soaked, but it had been a long time and the stretch bordered on painful. Her core repeatedly tightened around Jiyong as she sank down on him, trying to get used to the intrusion, and he groaned as he rested his forehead between her shoulder blades.

 

“You’ll be the death of me, baby girl,” he groaned, and he meant it, but god damn, what a way to go.

 

When he was buried fully inside her, Minyoung finally let out the breath she’d been holding, her walls fluttering around him as she squirmed a little to find a more comfortable position, resting her weight on him instead of on her knees.

 

“You’re so pretty when you’re getting fucked, Minyoungie,” Seunghyun said affectionately, leaning down to capture her lips in a kiss. Minyoung tilted her head upwards to meet his lips even as one of her hands trailed down his belly in search of his cock, so hard now that it was standing straight against his body.

 

This time, he barely let her touch him before he was pulling her hands away from him, pulling her hair into a makeshift ponytail with one hand as he grabbed the base of his erection with the other. “Open,” he commanded, pressing the tip against her lips, and Minyoung clenched down involuntarily at the command.

 

Jiyong huffed out a laugh. “She likes that, hyung,” he informed the older man.

 

Seunghyun smirked down at her. “I know she does, the dirty slut. Love being used by your master, don’t you?” he asked her, although since she was, at his request, opening her mouth and sticking her tongue out ever so slightly so he could slap the head of his cock against it, he didn’t really expect an answer from her.

 

Minyoung hummed in agreement nevertheless, tracing the thick vein running up the underside of his erection with her tongue, then bathing the head with small kitten licks. All the while, Jiyong was slowly working himself in and out of her, hissing out curses from between his teeth.

 

When Seunghyun decided he’d had enough of the teasing, he pulled on Minyoung’s hair again and she got the message, moving onto her hands and knees on the bed so that she was in a position that gave him more control. Conveniently, it also allowed Jiyong a wider range of movement, something he took advantage of as he bent over her, one hand beside hers holding his weight up as the other dove between her legs, seeking out her clit unerringly.

 

“Such a sweet little pet for me, hmm?” Seunghyun grated out as his hand tightened in her hair, the other one clutching onto her shoulder, holding onto her so tightly that the skin around his fingers was white.

 

Slowly, Seunghyun pushed his hips forward, sinking his length into her throat. He stopped periodically to let her adjust, only moving again when she stroked his hip to indicate that she was ready for more, until her nose bumped into his belly. 

 

He stroked the outline of his dick in her throat fondly, looking down at her eyes, which were brimming with tears as she swallowed around him repeatedly, the pleasure threatening to make his eyes close. “Such a good little whore for me, so good, baby,” he groaned as he thrust gently, feeling her throat working around him.

 

Jiyong, who’d paused to watch her take Seunghyun into her mouth, resumed his thrusting, this time setting a fast, punishing pace that pushed Minyoung into Seunghyun with every thrust, his cock forced down her throat.

 

“Fuck, you’re so tight, so good -” Jiyong huffed right next to Minyoung’s ear, before setting his teeth into her shoulder as he hurtled towards his climax. Determined to take Minyoung with him, he worked her clit in just the way he knew she liked it, with an intensity and focus that surpassed the dedication he put into making music. In that moment, it felt like he’d been put on this earth to fuck Minyoung into oblivion, and he was happy to fulfil that purpose.

 

Minyoung groaned around Seunghyun’s cock in her throat as tears streamed from her eyes. Seunghyun knew just when she needed air, pulling out of her to let her take a breath before slamming back into her mouth. She was a mess, sweat dripping down her forehead and tears pooling on her lashes, saliva coating her chin, but Seunghyun thought she’d never looked more beautiful - and that wasn’t just because she was taking him like a champ.

 

“Fuck, Minyoungie, I’m gonna come,” Jiyong warned from behind her, and Minyoung made a noise of encouragement, pushing back on him enthusiastically as he pummelled her. The combination of the sound he made and the way he clamped down on her clit as he came inside her set off her orgasm, and as she moaned, the euphoria evident in her expression and the vibration of her throat triggered Seunghyun’s.

 

“Shit,  _ fuck _ -” Seunghyun swore as he came into her mouth. “Don’t swallow yet,” he ordered tightly as he pulled back, squeezing her shoulder gently.

 

Minyoung looked up at him with her mouth open, showing him the mess he’d made, and it wasn’t possible for him to get hard again so quickly, but damn if his dick didn’t give an interested twitch when he saw the pool of cum in her mouth.

 

“Fuck, that’s so hot,” he breathed, looking enraptured. “Swallow,” he commanded and Minyoung closed her mouth to do as he’d ordered. “Such a good girl,” he praised her when she opened her mouth again to show him that it was empty, that she’d sucked him dry and sucked him down like a good girl.

 

Preening at the praise, Minyoung closed her mouth again and smiled up at him. “You’re so good to me,” Seunghyun said, emotion choking his voice as he bent down to kiss her deeply, tasting himself on her tongue.

 

“I know,” Minyoung sassed him back, and Jiyong chuckled tiredly from where he sat behind her, slumped onto her with his arms around her waist and his chin resting on her shoulder. “Can you get me some water please, oppa?”

 

While he was gone, Minyoung and Jiyong made themselves comfortable on the bed, Jiyong clinging to her like a needy koala bear as he nuzzled into her ear. “Stop that, it tickles,” Minyoung huffed, pushing his face away from her.

 

When Seunghyun returned with the water, Minyoung sat up in bed and leaned against the headboard, taking the glass from him gratefully and downing it as he got into the bed next to her. “Thank you,” she told him as she handed the glass back to him to put on the bedside table and wriggled herself into a supine position on the bed.

 

Seunghyun gave a small laugh. “I should be the one thanking  _ you _ . That was amazing, love.” He pressed an affectionate kiss to her forehead.

 

“It was,” Jiyong confirmed. Minyoung smiled as she kissed him too, then surprised them both by rolling over Seunghyun and off the bed, standing up.

 

“Wait, where are you gong?” Jiyong whined, put out at having his postcoital cuddles interrupted.

 

“To clean up, your cum is starting to drip out,” Minyoung complained as she half-waddled towards her bathroom. To his credit, Jiyong only stared between her legs to find evidence of what she’d told him for a second before going to join her. Seunghyun went too, because hey, there was always the possibility of round two in the shower.

 

It wasn’t until they were all clean and back in bed, snuggled together, that they talked about Minyoung’s imminent departure again.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay with it, oppa?” Minyoung asked them both. “I really can stay, you know, I received a few offers from universities in Seoul too. I don’t have to move.”

 

“Minyoungie…” Seunghyun took her hand, stroking the back of it tenderly with his thumb. “Go to Harvard, for God’s sake. We’ll figure it out.”

 

Minyoung smiled at them both and closed her eyes. It wasn’t until all of them were about asleep that she murmured, “Okay. After all, I waited thirteen years for you. You can wait a little bit.” Then she yawned, turned onto her side, and fell asleep, cocooned between the loves of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today was the last day of the first half of the semester and of course I celebrated by writing this! hope you guys enjoyed my /filth/.
> 
> one to two more chapters to wrap up and this story will finally be complete!


	26. Chapter 26

The semester at Harvard started in September, which meant Minyoung had the rest of the summer to spend in Seoul before having to move back to the States to begin her Master’s programme. 

 

Knowing that they had limited time left before they would be separated indefinitely, they made full use of it, getting increasingly careless with their dates. They weren’t quite imprudent enough to have that picnic on the Han river, but they were a lot more public than before, going to nice restaurants and bars, art museums and galleries with Seunghyun, and accompanying Jiyong on his extravagant shopping trips.

 

The knowledge that they were going to be separated soon also added a whole new dimension to their sex lives - a desperate urgency that hadn’t been there since the first days of their relationship. Every second that they were alone, clothes were coming off, and it seemed that they’d christened every room in the YG studio that had a lock - meeting rooms, janitor’s closets, recording studios.

 

All of this was nice, but together with having to pack up and settle all the paperwork for her move back to the States, including contacting realtors in Boston, there was always a cloud over Minyoung’s head as she was constantly reminded that she couldn’t stay, and it felt like there was a giant clock counting down the minutes till she had to leave hanging over her head.

 

Jiyong and Seunghyun had similar sentiments. It just didn’t seem fair that life was so set on driving them apart from each other, that even after they’d found their way back to each other after so long, they couldn’t just enjoy spending the rest of their lives together. Neither of them had forgotten what she’d said that night about having waited for them for so long, and knowing that she’d wanted this since they’d been teenagers made them hurt physically. So much time wasted.

 

Still, there was nothing for it but to make full use of the time they had left, before Minyoung had to go to Boston.

 

Before they knew it, though, August was ending, the leaves were turning, and there was a cold bite in the air that hadn’t been there before. It also meant that it was time for Minyoung to leave. 

 

She’d told them a million times that they didn’t need to see her off at the airport. Her flight was at a ridiculous hour and if they were at the airport, it would cause mayhem there. They insisted, though, and she had long given up on telling them what they could or could not do. Plus, her resistance was half-hearted at best - she wanted every last second that she could spend with them, and all of them knew it.

 

They spent the last evening together in Seoul in Jiyong’s apartment, since Minyoung’s was all packed up. She’d planned on sending the stuff that she wasn’t taking on the plane with her to Boston, where she would probably rent a storage unit to keep it, but Jiyong had insisted that she leave it in the basement storage in his apartment building.

 

She knew what he was trying to do, but didn’t call him out on it, because maybe she’d been hoping that he would offer, so that it would give her one last excuse to come back to Korea to see them no matter what happened.

 

It was with a quiet sadness that they loaded up Jiyong’s car with the two suitcases Minyoung had filled with the stuff she would need in Boston. Even though it was a BMW and there was more than enough space for all three of them, Minyoung sat in Seunghyun’s lap in the passenger’s seat even without him trying to maneuver her into that position.

 

They tried to keep the mood light during the car ride to Incheon Airport - talking about the small studio off-campus that Minyoung had managed to acquire, about their own experiences getting advanced degrees and any advice they had for her, and what projects the boys had lined up. Minyoung had left YG about two weeks before she was due to leave Seoul so she could focus on wrapping up loose ends and getting things ready for her arrival in Boston, so she wasn’t the most up to date on what the YG artists were doing, but even before that, she hadn’t worked directly with Big Bang for a long time.

 

Jiyong parked and the two of them put on their ‘disguises’ - really, the face masks and hoodies didn’t do much to hide their identities, but she supposed she’d take what she could get - and in any case, she was leaving the country for over a year at the minimum, so she supposed it wasn’t like anything too bad could happen.

 

Each of them, predictably enough, took one of her suitcases, not allowing her to handle her own luggage, but she didn’t protest too much - although she would never admit it, she appreciated how much they took care of her, and the idea that she wouldn’t be around to enjoy the coddling anymore was more than a little depressing.

 

Walking through the departure hall of the airport, Minyoung couldn’t help but be struck by how oblivious people could be to their surroundings. Not that she wasn’t simultaneously grateful for it, since it was what allowed the boys to be here with her without a huge mob surrounding them, but it did seem more than a little strange to her that diehard fans didn’t actually notice when they were standing literally next to the celebrities they claimed to be in love with.

 

After checking in her bags, they went to a café to sit down, the three of them squeezing into one side of the booth in a way that would have gotten some stares from the service staff if it wasn’t about two in the morning and all of the staff were basically asleep anyway. It was a little bit of a tight fit, but Minyoung, understanding that the boys were probably clingy right now because she was about to leave (and perhaps more than a little sad to be leaving herself), didn’t say anything.

 

To Minyoung’s surprise, they hadn’t been sitting there long when two more men walked in, similarly clad in hoodies, and sat down on the opposite side of the booth.

 

“Hello,” she greeted the last two members of Big Bang, raising a brow at them. “I didn’t expect you to come.”

 

Daesung pouted at her playfully. “You were just going to leave without a word, _again?”_ he exclaimed accusingly.

 

Minyoung blinked. “We had dinner last night,” she pointed out, completely deadpan. “You got drunk and emotional and Kyungmi-unnie had to carry your unconscious ass back to the car.”

 

“Okay, I thought we weren’t going to talk about that,” he sulked.

 

Minyoung stifled a giggle behind her hand. “How could we not? That was one of the greatest feats of strength I’ve seen in my life.”

 

Against his will, Daesung sighed, and Minyoung could see the hearts in his eyes as he thought about his girlfriend. “It really was,” he said dreamily, and Minyoung had to bite her lip so she wouldn’t coo at how cute he was. He was just so _pure,_ and it was clear that he adored Kyungmi.

 

Just as well, because fifteen years of friendship or no, Minyoung would have words with Daesung if he wasn’t appreciating his amazing girlfriend enough.

 

Youngbae stifled a laugh, and Daesung, looking betrayed, turned on him. “I don’t want to hear anything from you, hyung,” he exclaimed. “You’ve been whipped for your wife for the past ten years now.”

 

Completely unabashed, Youngbae just shrugged. “She’s my wife and the mother of my child,” he countered. “Speaking of which…” Now that he was on the topic of his infant daughter, he couldn’t be stopped, whipping his phone out to show them pictures and videos. It wasn’t like she was doing much, since she’d only just learned to roll over, but none of them had the heart to tell him that all the pictures kind of looked the same after awhile when he was so enthusiastic about her.

 

When he scrolled to a picture he’d taken of Eunran and their daughter asleep in the rocking chair - a second before he’d taken the child from her sleeping mother, he assured them - he seemed to literally melt, and all of them just looked at him fondly.

 

Minyoung was surprised, actually, that he was out tonight. She wished she could say goodbye to Eunran as well, but somebody had to stay home with the baby, and from what she could tell last night during dinner before the couple had left early, the new mother was exhausted.

 

Still, hanging out with the guys like this was fun, and Minyoung was pleased that she’d been able to do it one last time - and so unexpectedly, at that. In a couple of hours, she would be on a plane halfway around the world and all of them would return to their lives, and God knows so much could happen before she found her way back to Korea, but she hoped to find her way back to these amazing people again.

 

When she couldn’t delay any longer, they finally left, going to the departure hall. Taeyang and Daesung left after bidding her goodbye, but Jiyong and Seunghyun stayed, unable to make themselves leave as they hugged her over and over again. Jiyong even suggested that they find a handicapped bathroom, to which Minyoung just laughed. “I might have let you when I was sixteen,” she teased.

 

“Okay, I have to go,” she finally said, checking the time. They’d ended up huddled in a corner of the departure hall, right in front of where Minyoung was supposed to get her passport checked and go through security, but none of them could quite bear to leave each other. At this rate, Minyoung was going to have to sprint to her gate.

 

It would be worth it.

 

“I’ll call you when I land?” she said, hitching the straps of her backpack higher on her shoulders.

 

Jiyong hesitated. “Actually…” he started hesitantly, looking over at Seunghyun.

 

“We think… it might be better if you didn’t.”

 

Minyoung frowned, confused now. “If I didn’t call you? You want me to text?”

 

“No, like…” Floundering now, Jiyong looked over at Seunghyun for help. The other man cut in, raising Minyoung’s hands to his lips and pressing kisses across her knuckles.

 

“We want you to enjoy your Master’s, love,” he said, voice muffled slightly since he hadn’t dropped her hand.

 

“I’ll enjoy it anyway,” she said a little defensively.

 

“Baby girl, you didn’t get to enjoy your college experience the way you should have, and this is like a do-over. You should immerse yourself in it instead of having half your attention halfway around the world.”

 

Minyoung deflated at that, because as much as she hated to admit it, she knew he had a point. A small, insignificant one, maybe, because she obviously cared about them way more than the “college experience” that she was too old for anyway, being in her thirties. But there’d always been a part of her that wondered what it would be like to be carefree while studying, and now that everything else seemed settled - her future, her family - it was finally time for her to enjoy it. Fully, and in the moment, rather than constantly thinking about the next Skype call.

 

“Okay,” she acquiesced. “I’ll miss you, though.”

 

“It won’t be forever,” Jiyong promised, nuzzling her cheek, and she turned her head slightly to capture his lips in a kiss.

 

“I’ll see you in two years,” she murmured, her fingers still tangled in Seunghyun’s. Her heart swelled with the love she felt for them, so strong it made her chest hurt a little. She’d never felt a love so absolute, so unselfish, and it made her have to blink back tears. “I love you,” she said, her voice wavering with the strength of her emotions.

 

They murmured that they loved her right back, and then she really had to leave before she missed her flight. She waved at them from behind the glass doors until she literally couldn’t see them anymore, then hastily made her way to the gate.

 

Her adventure was waiting for her.

 

* * *

 

It took approximately two weeks for Minyoung to admit, even to herself, that her boys may have been right about how good it felt to be free. She loved them, but they were a tether to a different time and place in her life, and she needed to be free to appreciate the here and now.

 

Boston was nice, if quieter than her New York born-and-bred self was used to, and Harvard was gorgeous, all red brick and winding walkways that she wasn’t used to, having attended a city campus in her undergrad days. She made friends with some of the other students in her program during orientation, people of all ages and nationalities.

 

It was cold, since fall was about to end, and Minyoung spent most of her days either cosied up in the small off-campus studio she’d managed to snag or in cafes with her new friends when she wasn’t in classes. One of her new friends, a slight man from India, had brought his wife and young son with him, and she ended up becoming their go-to babysitter every time they had a date night.

 

She didn’t mind. Little Eshani was precious, wide-eyed and curious with all the intelligence of her parents combined, and she gave the cutest hugs with her little baby arms.

 

And Eshani loved to sing, so Minyoung - with the parents’ permission, of course - would take her to the little music room she used to film for her Youtube channel. The comments were always positive, because Eshani was adorable, and the little girl herself always seemed to have a good time with Aunty Min, as she called Minyoung, so it was a win-win.

 

Now that Minyoung wasn’t in direct contact with Jiyong and Seunghyun, the Youtube channel was pretty much the only way she could communicate with them, and she wondered if they were leaving comments under anonymous pseudonyms so she didn’t realise it was them.

 

(They were.)

 

She hid messages to them in the songs she sang, picking songs with either lyrics or melodies that resonated with her and made her think of them, letting them know without putting it in explicit terms that she was still theirs, that she would always be theirs.

 

She didn’t quite keep to a regular schedule with the posting - it wasn’t like she was trying to make a living as a singer, and she didn’t much care about growing a following. She just wanted to put her music out into the world and know that someone was listening, which on some level was all she’d ever wanted. Wanting to be an idol had been somewhat of a teenage fantasy, and as much as she’d mourned the death of her dream then, being here at Harvard, getting to know people from all different backgrounds with so many stories helped her to accept, truly, for the first time, that her life hadn’t ended when she was sixteen. In fact, it had only just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really short one this time, but i just wanted to get back into the swing of this story after being away for so long. im thinking maybe 1 to 2 more chapters to wrap it up, and this behemoth will finally be complete.
> 
> Edit: I changed "see you in a year" to "see you in two years" because after belatedly looking up Harvard's MBA programme I realised it was a 2-year course. sorry guys.


	27. Epilogue

There’s something funny about the way time passes. Day to day, it feels endless, slow as molasses, but blink and a year will have passed before you realise.

 

Which is how Minyoung found herself dressed in a cap and gown for the second time in her life, kind of surprised at how quickly the two years had gone by. Spring was starting to bleed into summer, and thankfully for the committee that had chosen to make this an outdoors ceremony, there wasn’t a dark cloud in the sky.

 

It really was pretty, she thought, sitting in her assigned seat and looking around at all the people who had become friends over the past few years. It hadn’t been intentional - certainly, Masters students weren’t as outgoing or eager to meet new people as undergrads - but nonetheless, it had been a real experience getting to know these people, and in some cases, their families.

 

Eshani and her mother were sitting in the guest seating area, and so were her mother, brother and friends - most of the people she loved in the world gathered in one place.

 

Staring up at the pretty blue sky, she wondered about Jiyong and Seunghyun. She’d been sorely tempted to invite them to the ceremony, but had chickened out in the end, thinking about what a logistical nightmare it would be to have the two celebrities here. It would have been nice, though, she thought wistfully, imagining how amazing it would have been to have them here, watching her walk across the stage and receiving her Master’s degree, something she never would have imagined was possible back when she was an undergrad.

 

Well, no matter, she decided, shaking herself out of her melancholy thoughts before they could bring her mood down. She would enjoy her last experience at Harvard, then go back to New York and settle in there.

 

And before she started her new job… she smiled to herself as she thought about the plane tickets she’d bought to and from Seoul. In just a week she would be going to see her boys…  _ finally. _ As much as she’d enjoyed her time in Boston pursuing her studies and healing from everything that had happened in her life, she was ready to move on. To go back to them.

 

The time she’d spent in Boston had, as she’d expected, been healing for her. She’d been able, finally, to just enjoy the moment and put the past behind her, every single traumatic event that had occurred fading into the distance like it should.

 

And with her newfound clarity of mind, she was able to see what she wanted better than ever before, and she  _ knew _ , beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she wanted to be with her boys. Would move heaven and earth to be with them, in fact, and she already had a plan that would take her back to Seoul ASAP.

 

As her name was called, she stepped up to the stage to take her certificate and pose with the dean, looking out at the people gathered here. The people she was graduating with, and out in the crowd somewhere were her family and friends from New York - people who had become so precious to her. Looking around, she saw, on the edges of the crowd, two men in black face masks, and bit back the urge to laugh.

 

Those crazy motherfuckers. She should have known they would be here, celebrities or not.

 

With a final smile and a handshake, she left the stage and went back to her seat. Now that she’d spotted them, she was unable to sit still for the rest of the ceremony, counting down the seconds until she could hold them again.

 

When they finally threw their caps in the air, she barely stuck around to catch hers before rushing off to find them. It had been two years, after all, and she was sure her family and friends would understand her desperate need to see them again.

 

Seunghyun and Jiyong were chatting, standing on the edge of the crowd when they caught sight of a missile hurtling towards them. Laughing, Seunghyun opened his arms for her and she raced right into them, slamming into him so hard that she knocked the breath out of both their lungs and almost sent them both to the ground.

 

“Hello, sweet thing,” he crooned into her ear, as Jiyong wrapped his arms around the both of them.

 

“I didn’t know you’d be here,” Minyoung said, squeezing the life out of him before she turned and did the exact same thing to Jiyong.

 

“How could we possibly miss it, baby girl?” he teased, tilting her chin upward to look into her eyes. They couldn’t kiss her because they couldn’t take off their masks in public, but the way he pressed his forehead against hers felt just as intimate.

 

Alex and Elliott, who’d spotted them and come over, surreptitiously took a bunch of photos of the three of them completely lost in their own world before announcing their arrival. “Look who’s a happy girl today, Min,” Alex teased, throwing his arm around her shoulders. “Two major accomplishments in one day?”

 

Minyoung rolled her eyes at him, but hugged him anyway and thanked him for coming. As her mother and brother came up to them, a massive photo taking session commenced. After that, Minyoung excitedly took the boys around campus, showing them all her favourite spots. A particularly out of the way nook proved the perfect location for them to finally get some proper photos without the masks, and they quickly took advantage of it.

 

That night, the final night in Minyoung’s apartment in Boston, the three of them made love for the first time in two years. It wasn’t sweet at first, all of them too needy for each other, but after they’d worked the need and angst out of their system, it became soft and slow, about expressing their love for each other.

 

After that, as they were nodding off, Minyoung told them about her plan for the future. About the plane tickets she’d booked to go back to Seoul. About how she’d been in communications with the company she was bonded to, slowly persuading them to open a branch of their office in Korea - which, of course, she would be more than willing to relocate for.

 

And finally, about her last and most important wish: to spend the rest of her life coming home to them and cuddling in bed just like they were doing right now, because nothing else would ever feel like home.

 

And then together, they made her wish come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, everyone. Thank you for reading this behemoth of a story, and a special thank you to those who commented repeatedly to let me know what they thought - it was enormously encouraging to know that people enjoyed my writing.
> 
> I'd be willing to answer any remaining questions you have about the story, either in the comments section or on Tumblr at @jingabitch.

**Author's Note:**

> I really wasn't planning on writing and/or posting this, but the plot outline can only sit in my laptop for so long before I have to write this. Looks like it's going to be a story, but I really can't guarantee if or when this will be updated. Nevertheless, I'd love to know your thoughts.


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